“Lee Hayi?” 

I turned around slowly only to found my fear became true. The pierced ears and the tall figure of the man I hated the most, Song Yunhyeong. Of all places that existed in this world why should I met him in Taehyun’s, in this very unlikely moment. But I got to say, Taehyun’s company absolutely had a remarkable authority that even a celebrity was invited to his house party. But it really did not have to be Song Yunhyeong. Certainly he was the least person I wanted to see tonight, but I was not sure if he would be the only one.  

            I had to overcome the fact that Song Yunhyeong was in the party and he greeted me. He found me and I needed to pretend I was fine with it but I was not. I hated him too much to even look at him, whatever fate had planned for me, he was standing in front of me, and surprisingly, he was smiling at me. He was wearing a black shirt under his black leather jacket with a black torso and black converse. His outfit was all black that it confused me. This person did not even wear suit, he was casually wearing the leather jacket with his pierced ears and messy hair which he was able to make it look neat and very celebrity like while actually it was just messy.

“Is it really you? In here?” he said.

I sighed and turned my sight away from him because his expression instantly bored me. I guessed once you disliked a person, everything that they do became annoying to you. Apparently, Song Yunhyeong did not get a clue of my disinterest on his attendance in the party tonight as he kept his eyes on me along with the wide smile attached to his face.

“Oh my, it is you” he chuckled.

I looked down, hoping he would get that I did not want the talk to start. Not when my boyfriend was missing because of him.

“W-What are you doing here?” he asked.

            Our first meeting was not the best, he stole my phone and wrote down his number without asking my permission and he was the main reason of the whole tragedy this night. One thing came to my surprise that he was different from that day in the café. Song Yunhyeong did not smile, he hadn’t been friendly and he had acted like an arrogant celebrity. The person stood in front of me was not Song Yunhyeong, he was completely a different one.

“Well? Attending my friend’s house party, I supposed” I said as I lifted my face on him.

“So, Nam Taehyun is your friend I guess”

“Didn’t I say it clear enough?”

My voice became louder accidentally and he got a little bit surprised. I was not sorry that I did not even try to control my attitude toward him, I was in a hurry of finding someone and he once again blocked me from it.

“Wow” he said unbelievably. “Sorry my questions become less smart.”

“Hm, yeah you should be”

And the silence scoffed our little chit-chat exactly after my attitude became abrasive. His smile faded away but his gaze did not. It became intense the longer it lasted and how I wished I could end all of these bluffs. But I guessed it was not strong enough to make him go. He was like a virus, a true parasite, destroying every part of me and hard to be vaccinated. 

“Is there anything wrong?” he asked. I was surprised.

“What do you mean?”

“Something obviously bothers your mind”

“How can you tell?” I said as I crossed my arms. “Don’t be ridiculous, you know so little about me to even say something like that”

“Your eyes” he said. “It speaks better than your mouth”

My mind was paralyzed. He was truly an endearing person. He was able to make any girls turn head over heels to him, but not me. I was an exception. The universe could label me as his number one hater because clearly not any of his charm allured me. His attitude was too confusing for me to even like him as a person that made me uncertain which version of him was true.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting you to write song lyrics in a moment like this.” I said. “Will you excuse me” I went away, leaving him in the middle of the crowded ball room.

I was almost running when I left him. Luckily my dress was not too heavy for me to take on a runaway, I passed every corner of the ball room to find Mino but like before he was nowhere to be found. I saw Taehyun in the DJ’s stage talking with his western friends. How surprising Mino was not there with Taehyun when they were the kind of best friends that was hard to be separated.

            Whatever came to my mind, I found myself climbing the stage and immediately poked Taehyun’s shoulder. He turned around with a drunk smile on his red face, his western friends were aware of my appearance and they turned away to give us some privacy which I highly appreciated.

“Hayi-ah! You come, I can’t believe it!” he said almost hugging me.

“Yeah, hey, do you know where Mino is?” I said as I back off.

“Mino?” he looked around drunk. “I thought he was coming with you?”

“What? Oh-uh” just lie Hayi, you knew you were best at it. “Y-yeah we came together, b-but I k-kinda lo-lost him in a moment. Do you know where he is?”

“Unfortunately I don’t, I am hardly deeply sorry for my useless self” and then his hiccup went in.

“Ookayy?” I paused. “Thank you.”

“See you at school, Hayi!” he shouted as I walked away leaving him.  

            So where on earth could he be? The ball room was crowded by my friends from school. All of them surely saw me being outrageously confused, walking around the ball room without the presence of Mino or any of my friends. I haven’t seen Jenny and Lalisa yet and Jisoo was probably too indolent to attend a party like this.

            If even Taehyun did not know about his existence, then what about me? Who knew absolutely nothing about his attendance in the party. I never thought finding my boyfriend would be this hard, if only he answered my call, if only he gave me a reason.

“Lee Hayi!”  Song Yunhyeong called me from behind.

“What are you doing?” I almost shouted.

“No, the question is, what are you doing? Running around alone by yourself.” He said as he took his breath out of his exhaustion. “What is it exactly you’re looking for?”

“I don’t know! Just leave me alone!”

I escaped him, again. Yes, Hayi, what was it exactly you were looking for? Why was he never there when you looked for him? The war was raging on inside my head that it made my mind collapsed in a second. I could not do this anymore. I could not find him. I was actually giving up and I could not believe it.

            My feet brought me straight to the balcony nearby. All I needed was fresh air to purify my mind that has been going on a war this night. The balcony was not too big but if fit for a park bench and a huge plant in the corner of it. It viewed directly to Taehyun’s park in his backyard complete with another fountain but less in size than the one in the front yard and a tiny maze.

            I was greeted by the coldness of the wind and the darkness of the night sky. Under the moonlight, I closed my eyes and slowly felt a tear was falling down to my cheek. The thought of Mino who was able to do all of this broke my heart into pieces. Where there should be an explanation but he did not give, where there should be a reason but he did not say it to me. What was happening to him? One, two, three, and tears were falling down out of my blue. I took out my phone and called him for once more, but he did not pick up. I tried again, again, and again for countless times but he still did not respond. I rested my elbow on the balcony fence with my face buried inside my bare hand. I cried.

The loud music inside the ball room became inaudible and my mind started to flashback when he confronted me with his apology and the decision for me to take whether I accepted it or not by opening my door for him which should have happened tonight.

            For once I thought something covered the moonlight so I could not feel the presence of it anymore, but it turned out a tall person was standing next to me. Song Yunhyeong, he rested his elbow too on the balcony fence as he stared at the park down under the balcony. I did not look at him directly but I was certain on what he did. How to tell him all I wanted was him to go away?

“Stop crying, I hate it” he finally spoke.

He knew I was not going to answer him, but he kept talking to me like I was ever going to mind what he said. Like a true parasite, he was unstoppable.

“What’s wrong? What on earth made you cry in a vibe like this?”

“What’s wrong?” I said. “Did you seriously ask me what’s wrong?”

He turned his gaze at me.

“How dare he ask that kind of question?” I mumbled under my breath.

“Well, maybe there is something wrong in you and somehow you don’t realize  how it affected me to this moment!” I faced him.

“Oh, so it is suddenly about me?”

“Yes! You are what’s wrong! You are the problem, Song Yunhyeong! If y-you did-did not… ugh!”

“If I did not what?”

I took a deep breath as I lifted my head against the sky above me. Still my tears would not stop falling. My throat was squeezed by the tears that came out endlessly; I did not say anything and chose to have a moment of silence. I needed to keep myself down under my sanity before I could actually do whatever my insanity would be able to do if I failed to keep myself on my consciousness.

“Look, if you could tell me what happened, maybe-“

“Maybe what? You want to destroy me again like you do now? Just…go away!”

“I was just trying to help, for God’s sake!” he shouted. “I can’t stand seeing you crying like this. If you could see how messed up you were back in the ball room when I found you, you will know why am I dying trying to help you!” he continued. “If you could just let me”

“How can you help me when you are the reason behind all of this?! Tell me how?!”

            He was surprised as he could not say anything anymore. My anger was able to stop him from talking more and I had the sudden urge to tell him everything from the beginning until now, to let him know I much I hated him so he would go away.

“If you did not appear in the café that day, if only you did not approach me and make a scene like that. If only you did not take my phone and gave me your number which I never actually asked for.” I gasped.

“If only you weren’t there, if only you could just ignore me back then, Mino wouldn’t treat me like this! The fight would never exist and there would be no apologizing in the first place!” I said.

            He sighed.

“What?” he said.

He was always full of surprise. I could not stand him anymore and the next thing I knew I let all of my emotions out and I pushed him. Thought I would never really understand what was going inside his mind and why would he help me when we did not even know each other that long.

“Go away! Leave me alone!” I left the balcony furiously.

All of my life I had never wished for any kind of drama to happen in my life. But what I felt now could not be described as I was not capable of thinking correctly. My mind and my heart were at their own war and somehow I had to be the only victim of their war. The crowd did not bother me anymore; I did not give a single damn on how I looked tonight and what my friends would think about me and Mino. I went straight from the ball room to downstairs.

            Just maybe, if I hide in the maze, nobody would find me, nobody would bother me anymore, not even Song Yunhyeong and probably Mino. I didn’t want him to find me because I was not sure if I wanted to meet him again tonight. His face turned into a blurred figure inside my mind, blurred by the amount of disappointment he caused on me.

            The park was indeed beautifully decorated, filled with colorful blossoms and the beauty of statues stood in the side of the stone path. My tiny feet took a journey around the fountain in the middle of the path and through the edge of my journey walls of bushes welcomed me with its mystic and secrecy. In the depth of its secrecy, I planted my hope of not being founded by reality that waited behind my back. My tired eyes flew back to the balcony upstairs where I threw my anger to Song Yunhyeong. The anger was half gone when I touched the ground and instead I was surprised that Song Yunhyeong  no longer stood in the balcony like he did when I left him a moment ago. He must have been inside the ball room, searching for me like I searched for Mino, but he would not found me—not this time.

            The path became obscure with those high bushes fencing every inch of it until the end of the maze. But not even the coldness was able to detain me from getting into the puzzled maze of Taehyun’s pretentious backyard. I could almost felt the mystic like something new was waiting for me in the core, maybe it’s the secrecy or just a place for me to cry and think without any interruptions coming from neither Song Yunhyeong and Mino.  

            For once the thought of loneliness and freedom to let my sorrow go was a good idea until I was surprised by the bushes beside me that started to move on its own. Certainly it was not magic but exactly on my second guess; a person—I was not alone. My footsteps halted as I waited until curiosity eats every part of me and the decision came to its peak. Under my irrational faith, I knew a person was doing their thing in the aisle next to me and of all consideration I walked to the turn in the edge of the long aisle I stood in. Without regret the round eyes of mine peeked carefully with my hands against the bushes.

            My pretty little mind was not able to comprehend what my eyes told right after they saw what’s hidden behind the tall bushes. It was not a person; they were two people, man and woman, devouring each other’s mouth with the slurred tongue of them under the glint of the moonlight in the middle of a maze. The woman pushed the man against the bushes while her cunning hand slipped through the side of his neck. They were passionately sharing their love and lust like there would be no other day to do so and my jaw dropped in a second, because somehow; I recognized the familiar hair and the brown suit he wore that I bought for him on his seventeenth birthday two months ago. He was no other but the Mino I loved.