Jonghyun still remembers the times when he was just a boy full of hopes and dreams. when he wasn't afraid to stand up for what he wanted and what was right. when he didn't act like a total to Kibum.

the sun is shining radiantly through his window, and he hears the laughs of families and cheerful chirps of birds. that annoys him. after all, Jonghyun isn't exactly the happiest person. in fact, he isn't happy at all. 

maybe Jonghyun didn't change. he just keeps lying to himself each day. that he's better off without Kibum. that he doesn't miss Kibum. that Kibum doesn't mean a thing to him. that he's happy without Kibum. Jonghyun wasn't surprised that he didn't believe in those lies. after all, Jonghyun is a bad liar.

"i loved him so much. i love him so much", he whispers to himself as if he is telling a secret, feeling an ache in his heart while all the memories were unwillingly being remembered again.

the first time Jonghyun meets Kibum, it's at a cafe, on a sunday. Jonghyun is sitting in the corner of the cafe, playing a melody with his guitar and singing quietly. many people are in the cafe, but most of them doesn't take notice of Jonghyun. he convinces himself that they might've thought his music was a song the cafe plays, and cheers up instantly.

the melodic sound of bells rings as the door to the cafe opens. Jonghyun happens to look up, and god. the boy who entered the cafe looks damn gorgeous. he has golden blonde hair, complementing his fair skin. he is wearing a lime green tank top and ripped jeans. Jonghyun chuckles to himself, admiring the boy's unique sense of fashion. he goes back to playing his guitar and trying to find the right chords to play and the right words to sing. Jonghyun had to admit sometimes, that no matter how good he was in song writing and composing, it wasn't easy at all. Jonghyun doesn't notice the boy with a unique fashion standing beside him until the boy coughs to make his presence noticeable. Jonghyun looks up and gets surprised. he immediately becomes self conscious of himself in front of this gorgeous boy. "yes?" Jonghyun asks after taking a deep breath. he looks shy, Jonghyun thought. "um, i was wondering whether i can sit here.." the boy says softly and uncomfortably. Jonghyun looks around the cafe and sees that all the tables are already taken. after all, it's a sunday, where most people have nothing better to do. Jonghyun gives a smile and nods. the boy's face seems to ease up as he asks with disbelief, "r-really?" Jonghyun laughs at his interesting behaviour and replies. "of course."

Kibum goes to the counter to order a drink. later, he comes back with a hot cup of americano. the two sits quietly, not knowing what to do. Jonghyun is the first to break the silence with a hi. the boy smiles in return. he notices Jonghyun's guitar, and asks, "do you know how to play it?" Jonghyun nods. the boy's eyes seems to twinkle for a while, and he asks shyly, "play me a song?" Jonghyun gladly obliges and starts playing a song that he composed and wrote a few days back. his hands flawlessly strums the guitar. then he opens his mouth and out comes a heavenly voice. since Jonghyun is playing his guitar and singing with his eyes closed (he feels embarrassed about actually performing for someone), he doesn't notice Kibum staring at him in awe and admiration.

Jonghyun finishes his song with a soft, breathy, falsetto note and hears the sounds of applause upon opening his eyes. the whole cafe is staring at him in amazement and clapping. even the barista is smiling and clapping. it turns out that Jonghyun got too absorbed in his music that he doesn't realize he was singing and playing loudly. Jonghyun feels touched and grins at everyone, bowing politely. soon, everyone goes back to their own conversations. Kibum smiles at him and tells him that he's got a talent for music. Jonghyun loves music a lot, so that compliment means a lot to him. "thanks." Jonghyun replies gratefully. he looks at the boy drinking his americano, and decides that he wants to get to know him better. 

"i'm Kim Jonghyun. what's your name?"

"i'm Kim Kibum. nice to meet you."

then they start chatting as if they had known each other since forever. Jonghyun learns that Kibum is 19, just a year younger than him, and is majoring in fashion design. Kibum invites Jonghyun over to check out his designs, and Jonghyun accepts his offer. Jonghyun and Kibum exchanges numbers, and when they both stand, Jonghyun pouts upon noticing that Kibum is taller than him. 

and it all starts from there.

Jonghyun discovers that Kibum goes to the same university as him. Jonghyun had always been a bit anti social, so he never really notices people. Kibum then introduces his friends, Onew and Minho, to Jonghyun, while Jonghyun introduces his friend, Taemin to Kibum. the five of them starts hanging out together during lunch break. Kibum immediately takes a liking to Taemin, and slowly starts to get protective of him, just like a mother. one day, Kibum confesses to Jonghyun that he is gay. Jonghyun comes out of the closet as well, which surprised Kibum, because Jonghyun looks so.. straight. Taemin and Minho slowly get close, and eventually Minho confesses. they get together, and it took a while for Kibum to accept Minho as Taemin's boyfriend, but it happens. Onew is satisfied with just being able to eat his one and only love, chicken. Jonghyun starts developing feelings for Kibum, and Kibum does as well. however, both of them are too afraid to confess. they still hang out together often, as 'best friends'. both of them are too clueless, despite the fact that neither minded holding hands once in a while or hugging and falling asleep together. 

three months later, with the help of Taemin, Onew and Minho, Jonghyun confesses to Kibum. Jonghyun had planned a speech beforehand, but he forgets about it as soon as he opens his mouth, and he rambles on and on. "i actually, i, um, i like you a lot and, oh god how do i say this. i think about you everyday, you're on my mind twenty four seven, i dream of you, i smile when i get texts or calls from you, and um, i don't even know how to say this but-" Kibum cuts him off with a kiss that should've been done a long time ago. Jonghyun laughs, pulls Kibum into a tight embrace and questions, "why are both of us so clueless and stupid?" before Kibum could answer his question, Jonghyun sealed his lips with a kiss. that night was one of the best nights.

the next day at lunch, their relationship was immediately found out by their three friends. Onew gets too excited and drops his chicken. his expression is priceless. it would be surprising if they didn't find out, with Jonghyun sending winks at Kibum every minute, and Kibum turning away blushing, and the way both of them looks into each others' eyes once in a while. soon, the school knows about Jonghyun and Kibum. a lot of them stares at the couple with disgusted looks, while some congratulates them, making Jonghyun feel good. Jonghyun and Kibum couldn't care less about the people who didn't accept them. it's their life after all, and both of them knew that their love is worth fighting for.

a month into their relationship, they were already calling each other "Jjong" and "Key". their three other friends would always tease them whenever either of them unintentionally blurted out the other's pet name.

"but what if they don't accept me?" Jonghyun asks worriedly. "they will. they're nice." Kibum answers, comforting Jonghyun. Jonghyun is about to introduce Kibum to his parents. Jonghyun is worried because he never told his parents about his uality before. Kibum holds his hands and gives him a small smile, which calms Jonghyun down and makes him believe that everything will be alright. Jonghyun unlocks the door and enters the house. "welcome home honey!" jonghyun hears his mom say cheerfully as she walks out of the kitchen. as soon as she sees their hands entwined together, she looks at them in wide eyes. , Jonghyun thinks. but a second later his mom is squealing happily and calls Jonghyun's dad to come down. Jonghyun's dad is also shocked, but he smiles afterward and congratulates them. neither of them says a word about Jonghyun's uality during dinner together. instead, they ask Kibum all sorts of questions, curious about him. "Jonghyun has never been sociable despite his looks," Jonghyun's mom said. "but i'm glad that you accept him despite him being such a grumpy and hot tempered person." Jonghyun groans in frustration, "mom!!" Kibum smirks and replies, "yeah, he sure is grumpy. but i love him a lot. thank you so much for accepting us too." 

the next day, Kibum introduces Jonghyun to his parents who were also friendly and accepting towards their relationship. they might not have gotten the whole world's approval, but this was enough for them. having their friends and family accept them, it was already satisfying enough. Jonghyun happily promises that he'll take good care of Kibum.

Jonghyun's life is perfect. he has the bestest friends ever, a loving family (or families, including Kibum's), and a boyfriend that he loves with all his heart. 

never did he expect his life to change.

Jonghyun's brother returns from the states and Jonghyun isn't too pleased about that. his brother is homophobic. when Jonghyun's parents tell him about the news, he doesn't take it too well. from then on, Jonghyun's brother started to hate him and his parents. once, he even slapped his dad for scolding him. whenever Jonghyun returns home from school, his brother insults Jonghyun with all kinds of cuss words. his brother beats Jonghyun. but Jonghyun doesn't tell anyone, even his parents or Kibum, because he is afraid that his brother would do something even worse to them. Jonghyun doesn't like seeing the ones he love suffer. Jonghyun continues to fight for his relationship with Kibum. but one day, Kibum decides to secretly enter his house with the spare house key and surprise Jonghyun. unfortunately, Jonghyun's brother is around. he sees Kibum, and asks who he is. "i-i'm Jonghyun's boyfriend-" the boy didn't hesitate to punch Kibum and chase him out of the house. Jonghyun happens to be outside the house and sees Kibum running out, covering his face. 

"what's wrong, Key?"

"n-nothing.."

Jonghyun pulls Kibum's hands away from his face and is shocked at what he sees.

the boy's beautiful face.. now has a noticeable bruise around his eye area. Jonghyun feels like crying when Kibum hugs him, still sobbing. Jonghyun feels a mix of emotions. he feels furious towards his brother and sorry towards Kibum. then realization dawns on Jonghyun. he knows what he should do. he knows how to stop Key from hurting. he knows how to stop his brother's insults. i have been so stupid all this time. of course it's not possible between us.. nobody will accept us.

"Kibum?"

"hmm?"

"let's break up."

"but-"

"let's break up. i've been thinking about this for a long time already. i no longer have feelings for you."

"Jonghyun.. please don't. we've fought so hard for our love-"

"our love? i never loved you. go away."

silence.

" off Kibum. i don't want to see you ever again."  

those words sends Kibum running off, with his face buried in his hands as he sobbed loudly and uncontrollably.

this is the right thing to do, Jonghyun.. he will forget about you soon enough. you will forget about him too. your brother will stop being so mean, and you'll find a nice girl you love and have a brighter future. yes, this is what i want.

but as soon as Jonghyun closes the door behind him, he knows it wasn't true. for the rest of the day, he cries in his room, hugging the plush dinosaur that Kibum gave him on their first date together. his room smells like strawberries, the scent of Kibum. he had slept over so many times that even his scent remains in the room. he had made Jonghyun love him so much that his voice remains echoing in Jonghyun's head.

Jonghyun's brother praises him for what he had done. "that Kibum is a . good job Jonghyun."

Jonghyun stops hanging out with his friends. they already know what jonghyun did to Kibum and keeps trying to talk Jonghyun out of it. but Jonghyun doesn't listen. Jonghyun stops listening to his heart, no matter how much it hurts. he receives texts saying that Kibum still loves him, saying that Kibum isn't mad at him, saying that Jonghyun is lying to himself by saying that he doesn't love Kibum. his parents don't say anything, and don't question Jonghyun about what happened. but they definitely know that his brother caused all of this, and that Jonghyun is having a hard time. they treat him nicely as usual.

Jonghyun looks at the scene in front of him with teary eyes. he wants to help them, but he can't even stand. his parents' white car is now a crimson red. his parents are now sleeping peacefully. their eyes never fully closed while they were asleep, but this time their eyes are fully closed. no, no, they're just tired. they're just sleeping peacefully.. really peacefully. Jonghyun then glances at his brother who is in a worse state than his parents. that bastard deserves it. Jonghyun loses consciousness temporarily. his parents and his brother loses their consciousness. permanently.

Jonghyun stops talking to anyone at all. he doesn't even bother to wake up in time for university. sometimes, he even skips school. he doesn't even bother to eat proper meals, he just sits there facing the walls and thinks. all he eats a day is a pack of instant noodles. his fit and muscular body slowly becomes weaker and skinnier. Taemin, Onew and Minho had noticed and asked him what was wrong. Jonghyun just walked away. Kibum worried silently about Jonghyun. everyday before Jonghyun arrives at school, Kibum would sneak a note into Jonghyun's locker, telling him to smile and be happy. sometimes he even left sweets on Jonghyun's table. despite Jonghyun and his friends always teasing Kibum badly and calling him names, Kibum didn't hate Jonghyun at all. how could he? Kibum loves Jonghyun to pieces. one day, Taemin storms up to Jonghyun and tells him how much of a bastard he's being, how Kibum worries about him and gives him encouragement notes and sweets everyday, and how much of a coward he is. Jonghyun just says, "try losing your family." and walks away. Key is the one giving me all the notes and sweets..? no, i don't care. i don't care. i hate him. i don't care at all. but Jonghyun knows he's lying.

Jonghyun still remembers the times when he was just a boy full of hopes and dreams. when he wasn't afraid to stand up for what he wanted and what was right. when he didn't act like a total to Kibum.

the sun is shining radiantly through his window, and he hears the laughs of families and cheerful chirps of birds. that annoys him. after all, Jonghyun isn't exactly the happiest person. in fact, he isn't happy at all. 

maybe Jonghyun didn't change. he just keeps lying to himself each day. that he's better off without Kibum. that he doesn't miss Kibum. that Kibum doesn't mean a thing to him. that he's happy without Kibum. Jonghyun wasn't surprised that he didn't believe in those lies. after all, Jonghyun is a bad liar.

"i loved him so much. i love him so much", he whispers to himself as if he was telling a secret, feeling an ache in his heart while all the memories are unwillingly being remembered again. 

Jonghyun eats his instant ramen in silence. he has never been this silent before. not when he was with his friends, his parents, and Kibum.. Jonghyun suddenly decides to read the notes Kibum gives him everyday, for the past two months. Jonghyun always just slides them into his bag without reading them. 

Jonghyun cries.

"hi :)"

"you look good today as usual."

"why are you frowning..? please smile."

"you look good but you would look better with a smile ^^"

"even if the whole world is against you, i'll always be there for you."

"you're an angel, did you know?"

"i love you. i think you're special."

Jonghyun can't stop his tears. he realizes what he wants. he realizes his foolishness for the past few months. he runs towards the place he had spent so much time at. the place he would go after school. the place he would have dinner at sometimes. the place he loved so much, along with the people there. 

Kibum, i'm coming.

Jonghyun arrives in front of Kibum's house. he doesn't hesitate to ring the doorbell, as he keeps crying. he presses the bell over and over again, as if the button would turn back time. the door opens with an annoyed looking Kibum, whose expression suddenly changes when he sees Jonghyun.

"jonghyun?" Kibum gasps, looking a bit unsure.

Jonghyun doesn't reply because he's crying like a baby and shivering uncontrollably.

"hey hey, let's get you in the house first." Kibum holds Jonghyun's hand and guides him in the house, not wanting to let go.

as soon as Kibum closes the door, Jonghyun pulls kibum into a tight embrace. Kibum leads Jonghyun to the sofa, not breaking their embrace. they sit there for half an hour, with Kibum patting Jonghyun's back affectionately and with concern. when Jonghyun finally calms down, he apologizes to Kibum. Jonghyun just rambles.

"Key.. i'm really sorry. i'm a ing idiot. i'm a bastard. you don't deserve to be treated the way i treated you.. i'm sorry. please give me a second chance. i'll treat you better. i promise. i promise. i missed you so much. it hurt so much i don't even know why i did that. but i didn't want you to be hurt more, i thought you would get over me but.. i'm an idiot. i'm sorry. and my parents and brother are.. and i don't even know why. my parents are nice, they don't deserve this but that bastard deserved it. but maybe i'm a bastard too because i treated you badly but i'm sorry Key i'm so sorry. i love you. i love you. i love you." Jonghyun starts crying again.

Kibum is tearing up. he cupped Jonghyun's face with his hands and they looked into each other's eyes. Kibum took a deep breath.

"Jjong, it's okay. i don't hate you at all. how can i ever hate you? you're an angel-" Jonghyun cries even harder upon hearing Kibum's words, remembering the notes. Kibum wipes away his tears and continued, "you're an angel and i love you no matter what." Jonghyun is mentally slapping himself for even leaving Kibum in the first place after promising that he'll take good care of Kibum. but before he can say a word, Kibum kisses him. it's a passionate and slow kiss that lasted for a long time, as if making up for the time they were apart. Jonghyun pulls away and looks at the younger boy lovingly. he now feels complete. he hasn't felt this way for an eternity. Jonghyun kisses Kibum's forehead. "i love you." he kisses Kibum's cheek. "i love you." he kisses Kibum's lips and smiled while saying once again, "i love you." and he really meant it. both of them realized that as long as they were together, nothing could get in their way. they would overcome their obstacles together. they would share sadness and happiness with each other. they were complete only when they are together as one.

3 years later..

"hyung! is that the girl you chose over chicken?" Taemin teases Onew and his girlfriend, Miyoung, as they arrive in the cafe. Onew blushes a shade of pink but still keeps his bright smile on. nobody had expected Onew to have another love of his life, other than chicken. when he introduced Miyoung to the gang, they all approved of her. she isn't the prettiest girl, she isn't the smartest girl, neither is she popular. but she has a personality that goes well with Onew - she is helpful, kind, and generous. and just like Onew, she is clumsy, causing the gang to create a 'Miyoung condition' song for her. 

Minho comes to the table with drinks and cakes. he secretly pecks Taemin's cheek before sitting down. the couple have been together for 4 years, with Kibum still worrying about Minho 'taking away his baby's innocence'. but everyone except Kibum already knew about what the couple had done. after all, if they told Kibum, he would probably hate Minho forever.

Jonghyun holds Kibum's hand under the table and smiles. "do you remember this cafe?" he asks Kibum. "Jjong, why are you even asking? of course i do! it's where we first met." Kibum replies confidently. "correct answer, Kitty." Jonghyun Kibum's hair. "meow." Kibum jokingly says. "ew, just get a room already." Minho mummered, causing the table to erupt in laughter at the blushing couple.

Jonghyun plays his guitar again and sings. it is the same song that he played for Kibum the first time they met. everybody in the cafe claps loudly again, like last time. Jonghyun and Kibum both smile at the fond memory.

later, Jonghyun and Kibum visits Jonghyun's parents. they bought flowers and sets them down in front of the graves. "dad, mom, Key and i are okay. we're happy. truly happy. don't worry about us. i love you guys." Jonghyun whispers lovingly. Kibum talks to them as well, and they leave.

they head to Kibum's house and have dinner together with his family. even though Kibum's parents aren't his real parents, they allowed Jonghyun to stay with them. Jonghyun sold his house filled with his memories to Onew and Miyoung. if it were anyone else, he definitely wouldn't sell it. Jonghyun and his family eats dinner together while chatting happily. the dining table is full of laughter.

at night, Jonghyun and Kibum goes up to their room. they both lie down immediately. Jonghyun starts talking about their future. 

"we'll buy a big house together.. we'll adopt kids.. the two other couples can come and visit us.. we will be so happy." Jonghyun smiled and kissed Kibum. he then says, "Key, thanks for giving me a second chance." Kibum Jonghyun's cheek affectionately. "you deserved that second chance." they both embrace each other, feeling sleepy in each other's warmth.

"so this is what happiness feels like.." Jonghyun smiles peacefully, looking at the younger boy's sleeping face.