Chapter 1: LAST SUMMER

                I have the worst evening in my whole entire life. First, I’ve had officially been kidnapped by my own best friends when I was on my way home from work. Second, they didn’t give me any explanations about where were we going, and last but not least, they brought me to the place that I hate, a Carnival.

                People were hardly excited about going to occasions like this, but not me. I’ve always hated going to a Carnival, Festival or things like those, I could not stand being there for a minute because I didn’t like how it was so crowded. I could not breathe or see anything; I always lost my family, ended up standing still in the security office until my parents came after an hour of searching me throughout the whole place, my best friends knew exactly about this story. But today, they seemed to forget about it, they kidnapped me just after I stepped out of the Coffee Toffee Café, the place where I work, and put me inside Hyoyeon’s car with my eyes tied with a scarf. I really had no idea where were we going, they refused to tell me, until I felt the car has just stopped. I tried to guess where we were but I failed, I didn’t smell or hear anything weird from that place. Someone whom I believed was Yuri, pulled me out of the car and forced me to go somewhere. We kept walking and walking, all I heard was their laugh, they talked about how ugly the clown they just saw. Then I started to hear noises from everywhere, the sound of roller coaster, and people screaming above me.

“Open it!” someone whispered.

                I assumed they were going to open the scarf and they did, slowly but sure. My vision was blurry but I kept trying to adjust with the lights and things in front of me. I saw Sooyoung’s figure in a pink sundress became clearer every time I blinked; she was smiling at me with her hands wrapped down her chin.

“I’m sorry, this was Yuri’s idea” she apologized nicely.

                I looked around only to be disappointed by the place I was standing in, I realized it was a carnival, a huge one, with roller coaster, music stage, food court, people, and more people. Hyoyeon handed me the scarf, her face looked happy, she didn’t even seem guilty for what she just did to me.

“Yes, indeed. Yuri told me to kidnap you and bring you here, so I did” she said calmly. Yuri came and hugged me from behind, I looked at her angrily.

“Well, you have to know that I’m not sorry. This is for your own good, Yoona” said Yuri as she let me go.

I sighed. “For my own good? You guys know I hate places like this!”

Sooyoung grabbed my hand as she dragged me with her.

“You need to have fun! Life is not all about school and work, Yoona.” said Sooyoung “Sometimes you need to go to places like this to refresh your mind. Besides, seriously you’ve spent the whole summer working in that café! This is the last day of summer, you deserve to have some fun!” she added.

I tried to get my hands off her, but she insisted to not let me go. “Stop trying to get away!” Sooyoung yelled.

“Well you know what? I have my own way of having fun, like staying at home, reading some books and fall asleep” I explained as I kept letting Sooyoung brought me to wherever she brought me to.

“No girl, you need to shut up and have fun the way we do. Now come on! Put that bright smile on and let’s get on the roller coaster!” Hyoyeon grabbed my hand and dragged me to the roller coaster line up.

                I could not do anything, they insisted, I took a deep breath, this was just for a night, I just need to go through this night and then no more going to a carnival. I needed to forget how much I hate this place and just have fun, like they said. But it was hard because I realized I was scared of the height, of the roller coaster. I kept sweating as I watched how the roller coaster went up and down, I could not do this, I was scared but I how could I tell them that?

“Guys, can we just go on another ride?” I asked. Now it was their turn to look at me angrily.

“NO WAY!” Yuri screamed

“What do you mean? Roller coaster is like the best part of a carnival, how can you miss it?!” said Sooyoung with her soft voice. I watched over the roller coaster once again, trying to convince myself that it was not as scary as I thought, that I would be fine up there, screaming and having fun like the others. But I failed, I have never ridden on a roller coaster before and I was scared as hell of height.

“Please, I-I…”

Hyoyeon narrowed her eyes on me; she approached me, and grabbed both of my shoulders. I suspected she knew something about my phobia; she was always the first one to find things out.

“Are you scared of getting on a roller coaster?” she asked.

I pushed away all of my embarrassment and slowly nodded with my eyes close. I looked at the three of them, they put the big O on their mouths, and this was probably a thing about me they didn’t know. I never tell them about this, ever.

“No way!” Yuri screamed, again. “See? If we didn’t take her here in the first place we would never know that she is scared of roller coaster.” Her arms were wide open, giving the pose of I-was-right-to-bring-Yoona-here as she looked at Hyoyeon furiously.

“So what are you gonna do? Do you still want to take a ride on, or just wait for us down here?” Hyoyeon asked, her eyes were right on me. I definitely chose to stay down here instead of going up there.

                I walked out of the line, honestly I didn’t know where to go, this place was too crowded that I could not see things clearly, I was short and people here were so much taller than me. All I saw were people and more people. I tried to find a bench for me to sit but they were all occupied. The sky was getting darker, more lights are , I kept walking and passed by a music stage in an open area. I thought of sitting in the audience seat and watch the show, but I wasn’t interested with the artist since it was K-Pop. I was probably the only Korean that disliked K-Pop, everyone can hate me for that and I didn’t really mind. I stared at the K-Pop band that was performing, I was amazed by how cool their dances choreograph was but I was still not interested in watching them for the whole night.

 I continued walking; thankfully the crowd was decreasing as I walked even further. I bet I looked like a lost child, I always looked that way. The air was getting colder, this might be a sign that summer had really gone. It almost felt like I wasted my whole holiday for work, Sooyoung was right, I needed to have fun a little more. As I felt my regret even deeper the smell of kimchi went in through my nose. I looked around, searching the source of this smell and found a huge food court. Without a doubt, i went to the food court and ordered the kimchi.

The tables were almost full but I’ve managed to find an empty one, a table for two, fit perfectly since it was just me eating there while my best friends were having fun up in the roller coaster. I sat nicely and started eating. The kimchi tasted so damn good, maybe because I was hungry at that time. I saw everyone in the food court was eating with their friends, family, I wondered what they think of me when they see me eating alone. But no one would ever see me, as usual; I was invisible, to everyone except my best friends, my family and my cat. I stared at the view outside, I could see the roller coaster line up from here, it was still as full as when I was there five minutes ago. Hyoyeon, Sooyoung and Yuri were probably already up there, they must’ve been feeling so happy. At time like this I felt pathetic for being scared of height, I mean I knew everybody had their own weaknesses but why was mine have to be that? I wanted to have fun with them, I wanted to scream with them up there, I wish I wasn’t scared of height, I wish I liked this kind of place.

I looked down to my disappointment, I should’ve been up there but now I felt so pathetic that currently my only friend was the kimchi I was eating. I put down my spoon and pushed away the kimchi.

“I wish I was brave enough to go up there” I said to myself under my breath as I stared the roller coaster went up and down.

                Long enough after the roller coaster hypnotized me, I looked away, gazing around the food court, I realized I was the only one that was eating alone. I kept gazing until I caught a pair of eyes were gazing back at me. Five tables away from me, he sat with his friends, they were all chatting except him, and he looked right at my eyes.

                I felt a sudden cold attacking my whole body and cause me freezing, though I shouldn’t be, but it scared me by the way he looked at me, like he wanted something from me. I looked away, trying to avoid his gaze so I pretended I was checking my phone. But who the hell was I lying to? I looked back at him, and he was still looking at me. He was wearing a varsity jacket and blue jeans, what kind of person wears a jacket in the summer air? Suddenly it was a staring contest; I brave myself to win this game. I wanted to know his intention but it was impossible. He didn’t look like a psychopath so I was safe at one point, and instead, he looked like someone I knew. His glare was so deep like he was thinking about something, I was sure he questioned himself about the girl he has been staring at, which was me, like ‘Ooh, who is she? What’s she’s doing here? She doesn’t belong here! My girlfriend is still hotter than her!’ Well honestly, I didn’t know much about boy’s thoughts but I am pretty sure it was far away from the possibility of that guy in the varsity jacket who was glaring at me, was imagining me .  He looked familiar to me but where did I see him? I was staring at him even deeper when Hyeyeon, Yuri and Sooyoung came.

“BOO!” Yuri tapped my shoulder as the two other faced me.

I shook my head and pretended I was surprised. “God, you scared me” I needed to pretend I was surprised, I didn’t want them to suspect something from the way I act, I was on a battle with that guy over there. They took chairs from another table and sat next to me.

“You know what you should stop doing?” Hyoyeon leaned on the table as she looked at me. The only thing I should stop doing was looking back at that guy, I caught him several times looking away and looking back at me. He kept doing that, he didn’t smile or anything, he just put his eyes on me and that was it.

“What?” I asked. I turned my eyes to Hyoyeon

“Eating alone” she said clearly as she took my kimchi. I didn’t mind when my best friends took my food, what belonged to me belonged to them too. I watched her ate my kimchi, I really wanted to check whether that guy was still staring at me or not, but I couldn’t or soon they would know. So I changed the subject.

“H-how do you guys find me anyway?” I asked them, pretending I was curious.  

“Well it’s easy. When you’re bored, you eat. I’m pretty sure you were bored waiting for us down here so the only place you will go is the food court” Yuri explained. She was right, when I got bored, I had nothing better to do except eating, it was the best escape I could find so I wouldn’t look lonely.

“That is so smart” I grinned. “Maybe you guys should order something too, the foods look delicious” I pointed my eyes to the food counters around us so that guy whom I guessed still put his eyes on me wouldn’t think I was pathetic for not having much things to do.

“Yeah we order the food and you’ll eat it, it’s always like that” Yuri stood up and took her purse.

“But you’re fine with it anyway” I smiled to her as she walked to one of the food counters to order. Hyoyeon was busy with the kimchi and Sooyoung was on her phone, this was my chance to check on that guy for one last time whether he was still glaring at me or not. I looked at him and the answer was yes, he glared more deeply this time, well, I tilted my head and gave me my what-are-you-looking-at stare as I flicked my eyebrows. It worked smoothly, the varsity guy finally gave up, and he looked away as he grinned.

One thing that I felt I had to admit, that varsity guy was attractive, but, as for me, being stared at by theguy who I assumed very popular in his campus, i didn’t feel flattered at all, he didn’t make me blush or made me run immediately to my friends, and tell them that a guy just making a staring contest with me. Yes, he was superb, how did they say it? Hot? But let’s get real, he was probably the football jock who loved to party and hooking up with girls, and I bet he was not the kind of boy that declares their love to a girl the old-fashioned way, like writing love letters, kneel down and serenade, damn who did I think he is? It was far away from his idea of a fun date, totally not my type. But I got to admit it was fun, because I literally won the contest! Hallelujah!

“Uhm, Yoona? What are you staring at?” my celebration was interrupted by Hyoyeon who finally caught me doing something weird. I immediately acted like nothing was wrong.

“N-nothing, I was just thinking” stupid, stupid answer, I could’ve done better than that. As my mind was filled with regret, I saw Yuri was walking back to our table with a disappointed face.

“The line took so damn long, I can’t stand in there for another minute, can we just find another place to eat? Other than this place?” She asked, apparently I sensed she was pointing to the usual restaurant we always go for lunch.

“What? Omo! So we’re leaving now? But I still want to try another ride!” Sooyong cried. Hyoyeon stood up and took her car key. “Well, I guess we’re leaving now, I’m starving, the kimchi is already cold, and I really need to eat right now” she stared at the three of us. Hyoyeon always took the lead, unlike me, I always go with the flow.

“A-alright then” said Sooyoung with her disappointed voice. We walked out of the food court and soon out of the carnival. Yuri put her hands over Sooyoung’s shoulder as she kept apologizing.

“I’m really sorry Sooyoung-ah! But your best friends really need to have a fine dinner right now, and I know you’re starving too! We can visit another carnival, I promise you” said Yuri as we walked down the parking lot. “It’s okay, and you are right, I am also starving! The chicken steak cannot stop running inside my head ever since we got to the food court!” Sooyoung made all of us laugh. She was so cute and adorable, many guys were after her but she denied all of them, saying that she wasn’t ready to start a relationship, and she was seventeen!

“Oh Sooyoung you poor girl!” said Hyoyeon as she unlocked her car.

“Guys!” Yuri stopped, her face looked surprised. “Don’t you realize it? Tomorrow is school day!”

“Yeah, so?” I asked calmly, she grabbed my hand immediately. “So? That means we’re going back to reality!” Now her face looked depressed.

“Well, reality is as good as dream, so there’s nothing to worry about” I lifted up her chin, she was facing me now. “And besides, I miss our spot in the school quad where we can see the hot seniors” I couldn’t believe I said that.

“What? Since when you care about boys, Yoona?” Hyoyeon was as surprised as I was.

“W-well…I-I…” I was thinking of telling them about the varsity guy I saw in the food court, he looked familiar to me so maybe they could help me to figure out who he really was. “I kinda met” that was a wrong word. “I mean saw a guy in the carnival when I was eating alone” They stared at me like I was telling them a hot gossip.

“Aaand?” they asked simultaneously.

“W-well he was kinda, w-what is it? Attractive?” They gasped and smiled, their face looked so happy. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you finally have a crush!” Sooyoung hugged me.

“NO! I mean, I was just wondering if you guys know anything about him? He looks familiar to me” I really didn’t want them to misunderstood about what I just said, I was not having a crush on him, yes I he was attractive, and that was it. I was not attracted to him.

“Well, how does he look? Come on, give us a try” Yuri clapped her hands as she went excited.

I tried to remember how he looked. “He wore a varsity jacket, he seems tall and popular. His hair was a little bit messy. I guess that’s all” And suddenly they looked disappointed.

“Oh my God, come on I know you could do better than that!” Yuri cried as she got into the car.

“Okay! Fine! Just forget about it” I got into the car too, followed by Sooyoung and Hyoyeon in the front seat.

“And that’s our mission tomorrow, to find the guy that has just officially been Yoona’s crush!” Hyoyeon started the car and we were heading to the road.

“He is not my crush!”

                I tried to convince them that I was not having a crush on anyone, but seemed like Hyoyeon was serious about the ‘mission’. I was not really sure he was someone around our circle since, well, he looked popular and we were just, average. I really needed to forget about this night and moved on with my life. I would never see the guy, like ever. I believed that.