He sang. He was singing with all his heart. I noticed some melodies were off, but it didn’t stop me to think that God why are you so cruel to me. I’d been his friend since God know when, but I didn’t know he could sing this good.

I didn’t want to interrupt him now. Not when his face was so relaxed; I wondered when we have time to ourselves since we both come to Seoul. Well, let’s give my dearest friend a free time for a while. Actually I wanted to ask him to do the dinner, but, well, it could wait.

“Yoongi hyung?”

Oh, crap. Now he would think that I was a creep; stalking him and such…

“Yoongi  hyung, I know you’re there.”

“Y-yes, I know you know, brat.” I joined him on the veranda, the night wind greeted me as soon as I stepped out from the room. Jimin grinned at me.

“What brings you here, hyung?”

“Um, I was looking for you to make our dinner,”

Jimin stayed silent. He just gazed out to the crowded road down there. Did I do something wrong? He didn’t usually like this. Jimin was the type that will whine and complains a lot about something he doesn’t like. And I was sure he didn’t like being asked to make the dinner. Plus, tonight was my schedule to cook.

“Jimin, what are you doing here?”

“I’m standing, watching the cars and people down there,” he replied.

“It’s not what I mean,” I sighed. “Are you sick?

I watched the changes of his face expression. He turned his head to the sky and smiled, then he stared at me. His face seemed, somehow, sad.

“What happen, Jimin?”

“Hyung,” he paused. He wanted to say something, but he looked unsure about it. “Do you want this?”

“What do you mean?”

Jimin put his hands into his pocket. He shrugged. “Don’t you want to be a rapper?”

“Park Jimin, I don’t know what are you talking about, but now let’s warm ourselves and…-“

“Why are we both stuck here, then? I thought I come to Seoul to be a dancer back then, but why we’re here now, busy searching for money. You have a bunch of part time works. I never know you come back home before ten. And me? I always come back earlier than you, but my state is not better either. We’re both always lost our breath for work; I’m starting to forget about our main goal to come here. I don’t know how far I can survive like this.”

He walked away from the veranda. “Let’s come in, hyung. It’s getting cold out here. You don’t want to catch a flu, do you?”

I watched his back disappeared into the room. I sighed. This little brat, I thought. He always overthink everything and kept it for himself. He didn’t like to make someone worrying him, but he always took care of the others. Such an idiot, I smiled.

I walked into the room and found Jimin was busy on the kitchen. He hummed a familiar tone, but his expression and his voice weren’t as relaxed as before.

“Hey, Park Jimin,” I called.

“Yes, hyung?” He answered without looking at me. Eggs on the stove, probably. I switched off the stove, make the fire disappeared.

“Hyung, what the hell are you doing?”

I hugged him from the back. From this position I could feel his heart pounds periodically. I placed my head on his shoulder, his scent filled my nose immediately. It was a mixture of sweet vanilla shampoo he used and his natural scent. I sneaked my hand to his waist, pulled him closer to my chest. We stayed still for a minute before he shook my hand away. But I refused to let go.

“You said you want dinner, hyung.” He said.

“I do.”

Jimin sighed. “Hyung I’m not in the mood,”

I chuckled and let out a long breath.

“So, Jimin, I still want to be a rapper,” I smiled and slowly caressed his hand. “I’m not forgetting why we are here right now, and I still want to reach that dream. It is true that our time is wasted with part time works, but we still have times. A famous dancer or rapper is not coming in an instant, you know?”

Jimin turned his body so he could stare to me with his teary eyes and pouting mouth. I didn’t dare to mutter a laugh or else I would be ignored for a whole week. So cute, I thought.

“So,” I continued and pulled him into a proper hug this time. “Let’s endure this together a little more, okay?”

Jimin tighten his arms as I felt something running down my shoulder. I was surprised for a moment because I actually never saw Jimin cried. I rubbed his back, tried to make him calm down. His sobs were muffled by my shirt but I could hear it clearly.

“I love you,” I whispered into his hair.

“I know,” he answered with raspy voice.

I laughed. “Well, how about I’m making the dinner now? I’m hungry already,”