“You're the oldest so you're the leader ... ”

Onew remembers this moment when they decided about the creation of Shinee. 

Leader... First question in his head is:why him? And others questions arrive just after: what is a leader? what do a leader do? 

He's seeing others leaders Leeteuk and Taeyeon, his sunbaes...

They answered: the most responsible, the most mature of a band ... but they don't have a satisfying answer for him …

So he decides, he’ll always keep smiling and supporting this members. 

When Jonghyun doubts about him.

When Taemin needs some help to sing.

When Minho needs a partner to learn this drama stuffs.

When Key needs to speak about his family.

Always ... Always here for this members and to help them.

Never give up on s. Never lose faith in s.

But at the end, the leader is always alone and this weight off his shoulders is a little bit heavy.

Nobody‘s here to help him to be a perfect leader.

It's thinking Onew about his leading condition. But finally if he is the leader … it's just because he is the oldest?

- - - - - -

Onew closes his eyes and sighs. He stops to try reading lyrics of the new song. It's difficult because of many english words.

He sits on the sofa and puts his arm on this face. Nobody should see this saggy face.

He is inside a song training room in SM Entertainment building. At this hour, there is few people and most of trainees are in dance training room.

He is so tired … physically and mentally tired.

With the new album, there're so many things to do.

He closes his eyes. He lounges just one moment just one.... Just one second …

Suddenly, he stands up. He looks around him and looks his watch.

“!”

He raises up and yawns. It's 5 a.m. and he must finishes to learn these lyrics for recording tomorrow ... no ...today ...

He harrumphs and puts lyrics on music stand. He must finish. He doesn't do a mistake. It must be perfect.

He is Shinee’s leader after all....

And he begins to sing again and again to the bitter end.

- - - - - -

His throat is painful. He sings too long. It's hurting his throat. He rubs it when he enters in recording room where Shinee's members are waiting him.

He lags. It's difficult to wake up. He just wants to sleep more but he can't. Fortunate to him, there're so many places to sleep in SM Entertainment building.

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