A/N:

Greetings, everyone! And a happy season to all! May your days be not filled with cheerful stress and obnoxious spendings; though God knows that's what the season was build for as of recent decades.

Ok, the thing is I'm late. As you guys would know, December is a pretty hectic month. Also, I was stump since last chapter on what to do with this fic and will continue to be somewhat stump until the next. Lolz. Another thing is that I'm also thinking of my sequel for 'Clueless'. A bunch of readers has requested about it and it got me plotting. I guess I'll continue first with 'Clueless' sequel before starting up the next chapter for this. Or more likely start with whichever fic had a more solid plot in mind. Weheheheh....

Anyway, this is the 4th chapter of this seemingly endless fic. In any case, I hope I got this chapter moving somewhere plot-wise. Hehehe. Cheers, people!

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Chapter 4

Life gives you many annoying and confusing things in life. An example would be the thing in his hand that looked more like a miniature stump of an old tree than an octopus. Cheondoong frowned hard at the wiener. Before, he used to think the little octopus wieners were cute and really adorable to eat; he definitely wouldn't mind someone giving him a cute lunchbox full of those things. But at the moment he couldn't see the point why they should be shaped into octopuses when they're going to be eaten anyway. Aside from that, they were very annoying to make; he was clumsy with the knife; and the ones he made looked nothing like octopuses. He even somehow burned them a little, making them look like scary red tree stumps. Halloween was not even until several months, leaving him with no excuse for making them.

With a sigh, he popped one on his mouth. Hm, not bad actually. Despite the burns, it's actually pretty good. He started placing the little red wiener stump one by one in several lunchboxes. Apart from the burnt creepy wieners, everything looked and tasted fine. The spinach omelette was perfect and the fried chicken with kimchi paste was good. He made each MBLAQ members a box, some for their managers and a few for the staff. There was also a big box tray of assorted food he made for the others at the studio today. He hoped nobody died from eating those. But he tested them first, so at least if there happened to be poisoning, he most likely would die first. In any case, they were decent enough, nothing special; but he sort of liked doing them. He actually made too much food.

The last wiener looked more of an octopus compared to the others. In fact, it was the prettiest wiener he had made; and it was also the extra one. He was going to eat it; but he stopped when his eyes caught sight of the blue lunchbox. The cute dongsaeng pursed his lips.

The lunchboxes for MBLAQ members which Cheondoong bought were color coded. The red box would go to Joon; the green box was GO's; orange was Mir's; and the pink one, Cheondoong's.

The night he bought the cookbooks, the leader waited for him outside the bookshop with a sour face. He didn't know what was wrong with Seungho.

"Hyung, you shouldn't have waited," Cheondoong said immediately as soon as he reached him. He felt a little fear; he never liked the displeased look on Seungho's face.

"Is that all your going to say? After running off like that and forgetting your mobile phone? Stop being irresponsible!" Their leader was definitely angry with him. Seungho rarely got seriously angry; and when he did, he was quite formidable.

Cheondoong dropped his head and closed his eyes. Seungho's eyes were piercing when angry.

"They'll not let you in the restaurant if you're by yourself. You won't know where we are there," Seungho continued, voice hard.

"Sorry," was all Cheondoong could say before he followed their leader across the street to their restaurant.

He couldn't understand why Seungho got really angry with him. Mir had ran off without permission more times than he ever did; and that night was probably the only time he took off from them without them knowing. The bookshop shouldn't even count since he told them about it (although without hearing their consent). Cheondoong didn't see why Seungho should be angry with him the whole night. Until now, Seungho was still giving him a slightly cold treatment.   

He placed the pretty wiener on the blue box. After few moments of mental debate, he took one ugly wiener from the blue box and ate it just to be fair with everyone.

He was done cleaning the kitchen utensils. He realized that the kitchen was utterly annoying to look at when dirty. Before, he didn't want anything to do with the kitchen. Most of the MBLAQ members, apart from GO, were household slobs, to the extent that GO gave up asking them to clean the dorm at some early point in time. But since Cheondoong was a man on a mission that morning, he couldn't let it be. Now the kitchen looked decent; not spotless clean, but safe enough to cook healthy, dirt and bacteria-free food.

The lunchboxes were all prepared and stacked. They probably won't be eating much at home since they have a schedule at the studio today; and knowing the others, they'd probably sleep in as much as they could or until their manager comes around. He would just have to wait for the others to wake up.

Passing by their living room, he noticed the view from their balcony. The weather was really nice outside. Not too sunny nor too dark. The sky was painted mostly in pure white, with patches of blue here and there. The wind was soothing, and not strong. Staring at the view, Cheondoong was vaguely reminded of an English expression he once read which has something to do with skies and clouds; he just couldn't remember the phrase clearly. What was that again?

After a few moments of struggling, it came to him.

"/Storm's brewing/," he whispered to himself. It was about skies and clouds, right? Well, somehow; but it was the phrase he was looking for. And the meaning was supposed to be something ominous; but he felt unusually calm. He knew that meant something.

He sensed something to his left, and turned to look; but there was nothing. The others weren't up yet and he was clearly the only one awake. There seemed to be no one but him and his imagination. However, these past few days he seemed to sense something around him. But when he looked, there was nothing. It got him curious.

Cheondoong nodded to himself as he enjoyed the light breeze and the bright view from the balcony. "/A storm is brewing./" He left the balcony and prepared himself a cup of coffee.

The white clouds covered almost the entire sky.

"Hyung, hyung, make me food!" Mir whined. This was one of the negative effects of him learning how to cook. People found new ways to annoy him.

Cheondoong sighed. "I'm going to buy outside, Mir. I'm going to buy your food outside."

"But I want you to cook," Mir continued, almost in a whinny tone.

Cheondoong thinned his lips and closed his eyes for the nth time since this morning. "Mir, we are at the studio. We are not in the dorm. We will buy food outside now."

Mir let out a whining sound. "Hyung, I want your special omelette!"

He wanted to tell Mir that there was no special omelette. That the omelette he made this morning was just a regular omelette with eggs, sugar, salt, and milk served hot with french toasts and a pack of gummy bears he found stuck inside one of his shoes underneath his bed. There was nothing special in them and the gummy bears were Mir's nephew's doing. Or probably GO's; but at this point, Cheondoong couldn't care less. He should really start locking his room especially when there are kids around.

Cheondoong turned to their manager. "Hyungnim, are we going out?" Because Mir's really tiring me, he wanted to say; but he was too tired to say it.

Their kind manager smiled at him. "You wait until Jinsang comes around. Ah! Speaking of the devil!"

Jinsang, a young trainee, entered the studio looking evidently harassed. Cheondoong smiled warmly at him.

"Jinsang, are you ready to go out?" The tired boy looked up at him and nodded a little cheerily.

"We're going out, hyungnim!" Cheondoong called out, ushering Jinsang by the door. He pretended to not hear Mir's shouts of 'Cook, hyung, cook!'

It was slightly dark outside; the wind was gentle and cool. He noticed Jinsang pulling his polo shirt close.

"Jinsang, you want to walk?"

The young boy looked at him, puzzled. Jinsang was about 16 years old, lean and pleasant looking. He was also a typically cute boy, sociable, seemingly amiable, and ambitious. Cheondoong was introduced to him a few months ago as one of the new trainees. The seniors in the studio seemed to like him; but since he was currently the youngest, the boy got ordered around much. Cheondoong noticed that he was also a good dancer.

"Sure," Jinsang nodded to him hesitantly. "But the store's a little far. They'll be waiting for the food."

"It's just 10 minutes walk if we do it fast," he smiled at him. Cheondoong found the boy tended to smile also when he smiles. "Also, it's been a while since the last time I walked the streets like a normal person. I'd like to have a nice long walk, if it's ok with you?"

The boy agreed; after all, what choice did he have against a senior, especially an MBLAQ member senior?

"Sorry for the inconvenience. I'll tell them I got you to agree to this, ok?" Cheondoong knew he was using his seniority; but at this moment, he really would like to have a walk for a while and maybe stretch the time before he got to hear Mir's whining again.

They walked silently together for a few moments. The nameless faces, the bright lights, and the variant colors  all melded in his mind; he got the feeling that despite the many contrasting and varied things passing and existing around him, he was merely  threading through one vast and endless body of water. In a corner of his mind, he wondered what sort of had gotten in him to make him have this weird calming feeling. He suspected the gummy bears. What have they been feeding the kids?

After sometime, he noticed Jinsang was lagging a little behind.

"Sorry." He slowed his paced to match the younger boy. "By the way, how's your training? How's your experience at the studio so far?"

From his gesture, the boy was momentarily surprise by the question. "Um, it's great. I've learned a lot from the trainings." His answer was unsurprisingly vague and said in a tone laced with a nonchalance and haughtiness not unusual with some of the boys he knew in Korea. A small part of Cheondoong hated that tone and disliked hearing people speak and act in such a manner. 

"You're a good dancer." He honestly didn't have anything else to say; but he was sincere with his words. Cheondoong didn't believe in withholding praises or mincing words. It's probably one of the reasons why he prefers to not talk much; because he might say something inappropriate or weird. Aside from that, he was trying to prevent awkward dead air moments which he knew was sort of inevitable from the moment he started this whole conversation.  

"Eh!" Jinsang sounded happy. Without looking, Cheondoong could tell he was suppressing a smile. "Thanks, hyung."

There were several reasons he wasn't particularly fond of Jinsang. First was the fact that Jinsang was potential competition. Jinsang was handsome, talented, and young; and Cheondoong had easily acknowledged the fact that a part of him was an insecure brat. It was innately a characteristic of being male; a part of him that Sanghyun vehemently disliked.        

Second was that Jinsang had connections. He was the nephew of one of the higher-ups in JTune Corporation. Cheondoong couldn't discredit the fact the he also got in MBLAQ due to his affiliations, in particular that of his sister Dara; but at least it wasn't that direct. The fact somehow intensified his insecurity.  

And third, Jinsang was a typical arrogant Seoul boy. Not that all boys from Seoul are arrogant; there are many arrogant people in the world, and it was just that Jinsang was a typical arrogant boy from Seoul. In this case, Jinsang tended to look down on people not like him: country folks, foreigners, ugly people, girls, and generally people who weren't born in Seoul or ugly. Cheondoong knew that behind Jinsang's polite gestures toward him, the boy didn't really respect him that much and considered him a foreigner. It wasn't unusual for him to be treated that way. During the time his family got back to Korean, he had experienced it. Though as time went, the treatment has gotten better. He would still get the occasional sneers from random ignorant people; however, Cheondoong has learned to cope with it.

Though, he had to give the kid some due credit. Jinsang was, afterall, sweet in his own way and talented. He never blatantly showed his condescending opinion of him, other than a few episodes where he'd smirk at Cheondoong's lack of expertise in Korean language and one time when the kid actually had the gall to raise his voice at his sister Durami when telling her to leave the dressing room when he could have done it in a nicer way (the one time Cheondoong actually wanted to hit the boy, but restrained himself from doing so by convincing his sister to wait in the lobby and ignoring the boy after).

"Practice harder," he told the boy. "And do well in singing." The boy could carry a tune, alright. Not as good as GO, but probably a lot better than him when he was starting. He thought Jinsang has a lot more advantage in him compared to when he started MBLAQ; but Cheondoong knew it was useless to dwell on them. Competing with Jinsang was useless because his enemy was himself. Just like what Rin had told him on one of their recent email correspondence when Cheondoong complained about Mir frowning over the spicy-sweet spaghetti he made for dinner: Why should you care? You made it for yourself, not him.

It was kind of scary how everything she told him made sense. Whenever he thought of Rin, Cheondoong could still not get over his annoyance on the fact that it took her about three weeks to write him, only to give him a ty message:

From: Ate Rin

To: Sanghyun

Testing.

He was tempted to ignore the email and write back after a few days. Or write a reply pretending not to remember her. But after a half-second of non-existent internal struggling, Cheondoong hit the reply button; and under five minutes was already delivering a litany on how annoyed he was that it took her that long to send an email, how boring the last weeks were, how his cooking escapades went, and how Mir became his kitchen lab rat and seemed to have developed a far more severe brain damage after  several trials. All in all, he was blaming her for everything in the 3-page letter. To which Rin generously replied to him the next morning with only two words: Eat vegetables.       

Cheondoong immediately replied that he eats vegetables, thank you very much. Though rarely, he eats them but prefers meat most of the time, a fact, of course, which he conveniently forgot to add (and which he instinctively knew she knows anyway). And then he proceeded to tell her his schedule for the rest of the week.

Doongie heaved a heavy sigh. He didn't know why he still corresponds with her, given her cryptic and sometimes straightforward responses, as well as her meddling. But he guessed it was because he could easily tell her his problems without her judging him or expecting much from him. However, that didn't mean he liked her telling him to do some random thing or two. Like eating vegetables and cooking.

"Hyung," Jinsang called him, sounding uncertain. "We're here."

Cheondoong quickly stopped walking. He nearly missed the restaurant.

"Are you alright, hyung?"

"Kimchi is vegetable, right?"

The boy looked puzzled. "Um, yeah. Hyung?"

"We should have lots of kimchi," he said with a frown and walked inside without waiting for the other boy.

They bought a lot of stuff. Four full bags, in fact. Cheondoong opted to carry the two big and heavy ones; while he gave the rest to Jinsang. He could have given the heavy ones to Jinsang as the usual thing since he was the senior, thus having the authority to bully the other boy; but he didn't want to follow the usual thing. And it wasn't how he remembered other people behaved when he was growing up. Aside from that, he was working out; it would do his muscles good.

The wind was a little cold; the streets were alit; the people were few; and the night sky was calm. It was perfect for a walk and a stretch. He could feel his arms having a good strain right now. He felt again the nice calming buzz he had earlier, where everything melded into one clear and continued mass of senses. For a moment, he had forgotten the reason why he was outside in the first place. His mind was so focused and peaceful that he barely heard Jinsang calling him.

"Hyung!"

Cheondoong wanted to heave a sigh; but he didn't see the point at the moment. Jinsang wouldn't have known what he was sighing about; the boy couldn't even sense that he was a little annoyed.

"Hyung," the boy started, having an odd look on his face that resembled something that Cheondoong had given up figuring out eons ago. Cheondoong was no longer interested about what the boy thought of him or wanted from him. He just wanted to have a nice long, quiet walk. Obviously, that was too much to ask.         

"Thank you very much for everything, for doing this for me."

Cheondoong blinked.

"You really shouldn't have; but I really appreciate it. That's why I like you, hyung."

He wanted to blink again; but just like the sighing, there wasn't a point anymore. He wondered briefly if he was in an alternate universe, or his mind was so addled due to the inexplicable buzz he has been having that he missed out on some things.

"I mean, you really didn't have to carry all the heavy bags for me. I also really don't mind the cold that much; but because of the walk, I'm feeling much warmer now. Before, I didn't respect you much as a senior. But now I think you're really great, hyung. You're really very nice. Thank you for everything."

There was an extremely brief, but noticeable, moment of blankness in Cheondoong's head (which he was the only one acutely aware of). Then it clicked in him.

Jinsang was a somewhat sweet boy. He was good-looking and talented. He was arrogant. And another thing was that he was also somewhat self-absorbed.

Cheondoong smiled at the younger boy, not because he was being endearing. He actually wanted to laugh, but found he didn't have the energy.

"It's alright. No need to thank me. I wanted it." Cheondoong really meant it. Because he really wanted it for himself, unlike what the younger boy wanted to imply.       

The boy smiled and nodded. Cheondoong thought he should feel guilty for somehow lying through his teeth and wanting to burst in a fit of laughter; unfortunately, thinking and feeling were actually two separate operatives. Like any other really awkward situations, he just let this slide. Cheondoong wished the younger boy was too into himself to notice that his smile was wider than necessary.         

They continued to walk silently until Jinsang started conversation again. This time Cheondoong really tried to refrain a sigh. He noted never to take the boy for nice walks again.

"I have a secret to tell you, hyung. Promise me you won't tell others," the boy said to him conspiratorially. Cheondoong wasn't really particularly interested; he wanted to tell the boy that he shouldn't go around telling random people secrets or breaking confidences. But it seemed that the boy wasn't going to wait for his response, so he nodded anyway and prayed that it wasn't some disturbing secret that would bother him for the rest of his life.

"You have heard about the fiasco in JTune Corp, right?" Cheondoong frowned. Who hasn't? It was messy stuff considering the board members were filing cases at each other, and then the plunges in company value. Since MBLAQ is under one of the 'affiliated' companies, it was only reasonable to think about the situation and how this might affect them.

"Seems it's getting messier up there. Some of the smaller shareholders are planning on pulling their shares; so the company, I heard, may focus more on expanding their products to increase their sales."

Cheondoong thinned his lips. "I think my uncle is planning on getting those," the boy added gleefully.

Cheondoong nodded absentmindedly. Jinsang probably wasn't expecting him to catch on with what he was implying, as he noticed with the way he turned mostly away from him when he spoke, particularly on the later part. But just like a moment ago, Cheondoong wasn't going to burst his bubble. He also didn't get why the boy would want to share that particular information if he didn't want him to get it in the first place.

"I see," Cheondoong quietly said. "I hope everything will be well."

He didn't think the issue was serious until he heard in passing their manager and the older MBLAQ members talking about it while drinking. He didn't understand much about the situation, just some of the higher-ups suing each other; but his hyungs sounded grave. He had forgotten much of the details since he was merely passing by to go to the toilet. It was late at night after all, add the fact that he was allergic to alcohol and was severely ordered by their leader to go to sleep.

The current management issue seemed to be affecting everyone. He could tell from the heavy and uncertain atmosphere they have at the studio these past few weeks. Everyone seemed to be affected, including the other members. As for him, he thought he was the only one not bothered by the issue; however, so to be considerate, he remained silent all this time. A part of him knew that the issue should bother him; but Cheondoong couldn't (and didn't want to) force himself to be as worried as the others.                

Cheondoong felt relief when he saw they were near the studio. Jinsang was a relatively OK companion; but he ruined the walk for him.

"Hyung, cook!" Mir greeted him as he laid upside down from the couch.

"We already bought meals, Mir."

"But I want hyung's cooking."

"Then starve," Cheondoong countered while setting the food on the table.

Jinsang already moved inside the studio. Cheondoong helped the coordi noonas with preparing the food. The coordis have told him to go inside the studio room already together with the other men; but he refused. In hindsight, Cheondoong realized that he was the only male helping the coordis prepare food while the other guys made themselves scarce and appeared only during eating time. The funny thing was, Cheondoong thought, this wasn't the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Helping the staff kept him busy and he liked that very much. He wasn't as diligent and helpful before; he would, however, make up for him laziness now. And despite what other people tell him otherwise, he would just have to keep his promise to himself.

Cheondoong had nearly bumped on Jiinsang while he was heading for the corridor. The boy was looking for him. The coordi noonas ordered him to take Doongie's dinner since he left them without taking one. It was obvious from the look on Jinsang's face that he didn't like the order or, rather, taking orders from the girls. Cheondoong took the packed dinner and bottled water with a tight smile and left immediately for the stairs. He wasn't about to let the boy ruin his night just because he was being annoying.

The night looked nice outside. He had wanted to hang out on the roof top at night since the first time he had set foot on this building. Never had the chance before obviously, since here he was now, excited to eat his dinner and watch the calming night sky on the deck.

Cheondoong settled himself on a nice corner and was about to eat when his phone rang. The user ID iam_alemon appeared on his Skype.

"I'm eating vegetables," he said to the caller.

"And your point?"

"I only have one hand to eat with."

"Trust me, you don't need both." Cheondoong could feel the other person smiling on the other side.

"Ate Rin, there was an annoying junior I had to deal with today that's not Mir," he started.

"Yes, I know. You sent me several messages about it a few minutes ago."

Cheondoong laughed. "Yeah, and there's also the company issue."

"And you're not worried about the company issue?" There was a hint of concern in her voice, he could tell. 

"I am. But it's not really something I can control, can't I?" For the first time, he had let a little of his feelings in his tone. He wasn't worried; he was sadly resigned to his fate, whatever that was.

A gentle huffed could be heard from the other line. "Do you want to talk about it?" She understood his feelings more than any other person he knew. And so he let his thoughts and feelings flow freely in their conversation while eating dinner under the still night sky.

They talked for more than 30 minutes, until she told him that she needed to go now because she was actually in the UK and had to go to work.  Cheondoong was surprised to know that she had been in the other side of the world for about two weeks now.

"You never asked," was her reply when he got a little irritated with her for not telling. It was true; but in his defence, she rarely opened up anything to him. Here he was spilling his soul to her and she wasn't barely even reciprocating.

In the end, she hung up with a promise to send him an email or give him a call in the next 24 hours about her recent doings. Cheondoong realized that his dinner was barely even touched and that he had spent almost an hour in the rooftop. He should finish his meal and hurry.

"Who were you talking to?" said a voice from behind him. If Cheondoong was made of less sterner stuff, he would have dropped the kimbab he was trying to eat. Seungho stood there behind him; from the way he was leaning towards him, Cheondoong was sure he intended to startle him.

"What are you doing here, hyung?"

"Nothing. Just thought I should eat with my dongsaeng." He sat beside Cheondoong by the wall.

"You haven't eaten?" He couldn't hide his surprise. He thought Seungho would have eaten already since he was complaining of hunger earlier on.

Seungho raised his packed dinner. "Just going to start. Had to clear something with the dance steps." He began eating as soon as he finished the sentence. Cheondoong shrugged and started eating as well.

The night was really peaceful and beautiful. Cheondoong's mind was blissfully blank as they ate silently together. The mood was only slightly interrupted when Seungho snagged a kimbap from him. He could only blink calmly and smile fondly at his hyung who was smiling mischievously at him. Cheondoong was a little surprised though when the older boy pushed a piece of barbequed meat through his lips and a kimbap afterwards.

"You should eat more. I think you're losing weight," Seungho told him, in which he only nodded while chewing on the food given to him.

"You and Yu Jinsang bought the food, right?"

Doongie nodded and said, "Yeah."

"The two of you seemed fine together," Seungho commented.

"He's good," was his short and sincere reply. Jinsang was not, afterall, an evil-incarnate; so he was fine.

"Really?" There was an odd catch in Seungho's tone that Cheondoong couldn't identify. "That's nice then." Seungho nodded to himself and continued eating. "He's young and talented."

The younger boy nodded silently. He didn't know what to say. And even if he did, he couldn't trust his voice. He felt a pang of jealousy when Seungho praised Jinsang. It made him uncomfortable for feeling negatively about it.     

"Cheondoong," Seungho called him after some moments of silence. "I wanted to ask you."

The younger boy looked curiously at his hyung. Seungho sounded strangely serious, and a little nervous, if he were to add.

"Because eventually MBLAQ will not last forever, and also a lot has been happening in the company. Sometime from now, we probably won't be staying as a group anymore. So I just want to ask," Seungho paused, looked at him briefly, then at the gleaming lights from the horizon. 

"Will you stay with me? I mean, stay together with me. Continue to work with me." Seungho turned to him earnestly after, although looking a bit hesitant. He could have sworn Seungho nearly stuttered.  But Cheondoong was more busy trying to figure out the reason behind the sudden prickle of heat that grazed through his spine and warmed his neck.

He intended to answer the question straight; but that didn't come out of his mouth. "What will happen to the others?"

Seungho released a relaxed smile. "Joon will be an actor," he said and Cheondoong nodded in agreement.

"GO will be a solo artist." The younger boy agreed as well. "And Mir..."

"He'll be a rich land owner. We'll get food supplies from him," Cheondoong said with a smile.

Seungho chuckled. "Yes, our fashion terrorist will be rich."

"I'll be with hyung." He meant it, really he did. Among the members, he thought that Seungho was one of the most sensitive and emotionally attached to MBLAQ. Losing MBLAQ would really hurt his hyung; so he would stay with him for as long as he wants. Because even though Cheondoong was aware of the fact that MBLAQ won't last for a long time, and that he had other dreams he would like to accomplish in the future, he also couldn't stand the idea of leaving the others behind. And right now, he couldn't stand the idea of leaving Seungho.

"I'll be with you as long as you want."     

Cheondoong saw the sparkle in Seungho's eyes as they laughed together and felt wonderful. Their future seemed a little shaky now; but underneath the night sky, as they finished their meals and stared aimlessly at the rooftop landscape, their future looked less uncertain and more calming now that they made a promise with each other.

Storms would be brewing; but they just have to keep moving. At least, together they can brave whatever weather thrown at them by fate.

***

Didn't think it was that long. But I hope your enjoyed this somehow. I'm pushing the SeungDoong here a bit. Ugh, but not enough I guess.

Well, see you around, guys! ^_^