Seungyoon was browsing. Scrolling the pages down to check the latest news. About WINNER, mostly. It’s like a mandatory thing to do as leader; checking the news about WINNER, what people think about them, the responds about their music and Incle’s endlessly supports, like everywhere. He chuckled a bit when he read a fanfic pairing him and his grumble maknae. They knew it. What to say, Incle knew us too much. I wish I could drop some comments here.” He continued scrolling. It was a cozy moment after having a late dinner. Other members were busy with their own stuff; watching newest drama series, sketching, and listening to music in the living room. Everything was fine, until he read something unexpected at the website.

His suddenly gasped, couldn’t believe what he read. His hand was tremble, his whole body was shaking. His heart beaten too fast that he almost fainted.

“WINNER's Nam TaeHyun criticized for yelling at the crowd to quiet down in informal language.”

For 3 minutes he was paralyzed. All he put in his mind was Taehyun’s condition now. He was about to stand up and look for Taehyun. He worried about him so much. Then he changed his mind, he immediately stood up and look for the other members. They should know about this and asked their opinion about what to do now.

He ran panicky from dining room to the living room. He stopped there. Freezing again. He found other members were looking at him. They had their cellphone at their hands. They knew it.

“Have you already….” Seungyoon didn’t continue his sentence. Without a single word, frowning, Jinwoo, Mino, and Seungyoon nodded to him. Seungyoon lost his words. He didn’t know what to do now. His mind was blank. Thousands feeling come to his head and he was about to explode. “Talk to him…” Seunghoon broke the silence. Mino and Jinwoo nodded again.

Seungyoon tried so hard to stand still. His legs seemed boneless. He was standing on the thin glass.

He tremblingly walked through the corridor. It felt like it was the longest corridor he ever walked through. Every step he made he dedicated to his thoughts about Taehyun. How broken his heart now, how terrible his feeling now, how frustrated and depressed he was after reading this article. He just wished that he could put the news down for him.

Taehyun is a person who will keep blaming himself when everything around him seems wrong. He will feel sorry for the mistakes he doesn’t even did. Seungyoon knows how introvert he was when they just started the competition, he was cold. He was wordless less talking compared to other member, but at least he could be a little open to him. Since debut, he has improved so much. He started making facial expression to cheer the fans, he talked more often, he was not as passive as he used to be. He tried so hard to step out of his comfort zone, socialize more, be open to other members, to be accepted and not to be taken as a boy who act oddly and well, different. Seungyoon was proud of him for all the efforts he put to be WINNER and living as WINNER’s member.

He didn’t have any idea how Taehyun was feeling. He just rushed his steps, as fast as he could. He didn’t even know what to say to him, what to do when he is in front of him. How to react and how to respond when he was finally there.

There. He was in front of their room. He asked for gut to the universe to knock the door.

He knocked the door.

“Taehyun-ah…”

No answer. He knocked once more.

“Taehyun-ah, it’s me…”

Still no answer. He nerve himself to come in.

He was there. Sitting on the side of the bed. Holding his cellphone.  He was looking at his cellpone when Seungyoon came in. Taehyun realize someone he needs was in front of him, he could feel it.

“Taehyun…” Seungyoon tried to reach him with his word.

Taehyun slowly raised his head and looked at him. His swollen eyes told it all. “Hyung… I….”

Seungyoon couldn’t bear anymore. He sat beside him and held him tight. He didn’t want to see him cried anymore. He hugged him as he was the most fragile thing in the world. He wanted to protect him from everything against him, but all he has was his arms. He wished his embrace could put the burdens away and bring the joy of the world for him.

“It’s okay, Taehyun-ah… It’s okay. You didn’t mean that way. We know.”

Taehyun didn’t even move. He surrendered his body to Seungyoon’s embrace. Seungyoon held him as strong as he could.

“Hyung, I was just…. I just wanted to make interaction to them… I… I was just joking. I wished they knew. They are my family. I take them as my family, so I think it would be okay if I… Hyung, I didn’t mean to.  You were talking and they were too noisy and I… I just tried to tell them to listen to you…. You were talking, Hyung, and I wanted them to listen to you….”

Taehyun kept talking with his broken voice.  You can never talk properly when you cry. Never.

Seungyoon caressed his back, slowly, as he started talking again.

“I didn’t know it would be like this. I didn’t know if they felt hurt. I didn’t know if they……”

“Taehyun-ah…” Seungyoon broke away a bit. He put his hands to Taehyun’s face. He caressed his cheecks and looked into his eyes. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You hear me, everything is okay…”

Taehyun looked into his eyes, his calming eyes that he always trust. Seungyoon smiled, but Taehyun knew it was fake, and bitter. He knew Seungyoon was just trying to calm him down.

“Is it?” He held Seungyoon’s hands which were still on his cheecks.

“It is, Honey. It is. I am here.”

Taehyun seemed didn’t believe him. He wondered a lot. His mind was not there and Seungyoon read this.

“We will talk to press that it was not meant to be that way. This was not what they have thought it was. We will confirm this, okay? Together.”

Seungyoon kissed him softly on the forehead. Then his right cheek, then the right one. He saw him smiling bitterly. Then he kissed him on his nose.

He continued kissing his lips slowly, down to his neck, but suddenly Taehyun broke away…

“Not now, Hyung…  I…”

Seungyoon was stoned. He realized he have stepped on the wrong foot. He took distance so Taehyun could make himself comfortable. “I’m so sorry.”

Taehyun replied him right away. “No, no.  I didn’t mean to, Hyung, I was just… I don’t know…”

Seungyoon held his hands. Kissed him on the cheeks and smiled. “It’s okay. I understand. All I wanted is to make you feel better, to make you feel fine. I didn’t want you feel down or anything that make you uncomfortable. Please don’t be.” He caressed Taehyun’s cheeks.  Taehyun held Seungyoon’ hands, leaned his head to them. “I can leave you alone If you want to…” Taehyun closed his eyes still. He didn’t say a word. Seungyoon decided to leave. He broke away and took a step away from where Taehyun sat.

Quickly Taehyun stopped Seungyoon. He held his hand, not to let him go.

“Hyung…”

Seungyoon smiled and nodded. He looked into his eyes and he went back to him. He pushed him to the other side of the bed, made him lie down and he took a place to lie down beside him. He made the pillow as comfortable as possible to them then stretched his left arm. “Here. Your place is here.”

Taehyun immediately drown his face to Seungyoon’s neck, feeling the warmness of his body and suddenly feel safe. Maybe a little bit safe. Seungyoon didn’t stop caressed his back, it was like saying  that’s okay, Taehyun-ah, that’s okay. There’s something in Seunyoon’s body that keeping him safe and warm, every single gestures of his body makes him feel better, naturally. It’s like strength and that was what Taehyun needed the most.

Seungyoon couldn’t hold himself. Tears came down to his cheeks right after he kissed Taehyun’s forehead. Taehyun was sleeping, so he wouldn’t notice that he cried. He felt something stabbed his heart too, because Taehyun was hurt a lot. He knew. He kept caressing Taehyun’s back as if it could make him and himself better too, because the pain than Taehyun felt was too much, he could feel that. He silently whispered as he kissed Taehyun’s forehead again. “Everything is going to be alright, Taehyun. Don’t you worry that much. It was just misunderstanding; the storm will go down, eventually. You just need to calm down, and don’t blame yourself too deep. Other members are worrying about you, Inner Circles are too. So please don’t blame yourself, we are here for you…” he kissed his forehead again, this time a little bit longer. He kissed him again, slowly, so he wouldn’t wake Taehyun up. “And you know I am here, Taehyun-ah. I am always here for you. So don’t you worry, okay? I am here for you…” He tightened his embrace a bit, to make sure Taehyun knew he was there, always. He continued caressing his back until both fell asleep.

Taehyun smiled. Turned out Taehyun haven’t sleep yet. He heard all what Seungyoon have said from the start. With his eyes closed still, he tightened his hug and slowly whispers… “I know, Hyung. Thank you for always be there for me. You’re all I need. Thank you.”

This too, shall pass. Showing people your true color isn’t always ended up with a welcome appreciation. No matter how thick you build a wall around you to hide it, your true color will shine through it and reveal the true you. That is what matters the most. At least to the people around you who do care and love. Well, that’s life.