| one |

The crowd erupts with cheers, audience rising out of their seats, confetti, shirts and arms tossed up in the air as people excitedly flap their support signs. Parents, children and high-schoolers alike fill the bleachers to the brim. Extra bodies even sit on the polished wooden floors and are accommodated on other desk chairs that had been brought in from the classrooms. All sense of seating is lost though, when the first wave of energy passes through the crowd and everyone is either whooping or laughing with joy.

The cheerleading team is the first to break onto the playfield, even though they are supposed to be chanting the victory slogan they'd been practicing all week. Only the squad leader and her co are left helplessly waving their pom-poms, before they discard all decorum and run to join the crowd amassing in the center of the basketball court.

From where Kris sits, he can see the tuft of a high ponytail that he knows is attached to the head of the student who just goaled them the winning pointer. The player has a fist raised high in the air and everyone around him is barreling into him from every direction. It's a miracle he hasn't been thrown to the floor yet. But maybe the adrenaline that's making him jump around screaming 'Yeah! Dragons! Dragons!' is helping minimize the pain from all the bruises he's probably getting. Kris isn't sure which screams he hears are of sorrow -a cheerleader broke her nail- and which one of unrestrained glee from scraping a win.

Either way, he's pretty sure getting crushed among a mass of happy screaming bodies is still better than dancing like a dolt on the sidelines in a massive, ugly, suffocating, dragon costume. Kris is genuinely happy their school won (really, he is), they just secured themselves the title of the best team in the Intra City Basketball Tournament, but the aftermath isn't anything pleasant for him because he will be taking photos with every person that requests one. The costume will stay on him a few hours more than he wants to. When his dignity will be on the verge of death is when he'll escape the grabby hands to jump out of it. That's how it always is when they score a win.

Worse of all, his face is the only one that doesn't appear when the entire basketball team poses together, their stupid school mascot BenBen taking his spot. He's allowed to take off his mask, but the picture that makes it to all official prints, displays and online photos is always the one with the full dragon costume. People want to see the dragon, BenBen. Not awkward Kris only capable of two face expressions. Not that Kris minds it. The lesser people know of who's the host to BenBen, the happier he is.

The noise in the gymnasium doesn't simmer down. The students in charge of match commentary having taken to chanting the slogan, the cheerleaders were supposed to be performing, through the microphones. Now people are even tackling BenBen's large textured frame, mercifully they're only kids who want photos or shoulder rides. The heat keeps propelling up and Kris just wants to strip on the spot.

He kind of wishes they'd lost instead. The costume isn't exactly Egyptian cotton. It's ing itchy and today is a hot day and seeing the number of children and parents surrounding him makes him feel faint already.

Kris looks at the crowd of high-schoolers jumping to the sound of their school anthem, horribly overlapped with the victory slogan the commentators are chanting. He can't see any of the team players among the myriad of other colors that are now crowding around them. Even the proud raised fist has finally sunk.

-

The only reason Kris was given the heavy (literal and metaphorical) responsibility of BenBen was because he was the only person in the entire school -staff included- who fit it. Even on him the costume was still a few inches larger. Whoever the had given the measurements for the costume had ed up big time. But the school was frugal about money (always had been, always will be) and Kris had been more or less bribed with some extra GPA points if he actively participated as the mascot host for the school games.

Basketball was the pride and joy of his respective educational institute (now will be double the pride and joy because they won their first tournament in years). So even though his absence from other games was acceptable, the basketball team never gave him the out.

The only good thing BenBen had ever done for him was befriend the cheerleading squad. The pretty athletic girls had been attracted by the costume's big googly eyes and naturally the next step had been taking lots of photos with the 'caption: my giant fluffy teddy dragon! hugs <3'

The only drawback was they thought Kris' name was BenBen. They still do.

And Kris is the one who had his hair dyed blond.

The teen tries not to mull over those thoughts. His self-motivation books tell him he will get over these dark patches through life just fine. But are those meager GPA points really worth the asphyxia?

Kris places the costume in the storage, carefully turning the lock and double checking. He turns around only to jump back in surprise when he is met with their school's newest hotshot, the star of the basketball team, the player who scored the winning basket, the one and the only, the Park . . . . . . kid.

"Hey," Park greets, his face still radiant with the elation of the recent victory, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Kris can hear the distant repressed sound of the still celebrating crowd coming in from the gymnasium. Park is still high as well. It shows from his trembling hands that grip the basketball so tight, his knuckles have turned white. "This," The tall youth nudges the ball towards Kris, "You forgot."

Kris eyes the ball, now signed with a permanent marker by the entire team and dotted here and there with kisses left by lipstick coated lips.

"The janitor is supposed to take care of this, actually." Kris responds, "I only do the costume." He's a bit miffed that one of the team players just asked him to pick up the balls. It's not his responsibility to tend to their whining or sport mess. He's not the team runt. It's some freshman who's also a substitute and their unofficial towel slash errand boy. 

"No," He holds the ball towards Kris, "You didn't sign it."

Kris' lips pull apart in surprise. "Me?" He points verily to himself. "Do you know who I am?"

"BenBen," Park responds, his infamous million watt smile shows up and, ugh, Kris feels blinded. This guys' all teeth smile is still more attractive than Kris' all gums smile and he is instantly placed on Kris' 'I Don't Like You Anymore' list. How can one make an awkward all-teeth display look so good?

"Yea, BenBen," Kris mumbles as takes the ball and marker from Park's hands. He looks all over it to spot any clean place but the ball has been filled quite fully and all the signatures are mixing up. There's no place for his.

"Any place will do." The teen responds as he sees the hopeless state the surface of the ball is in.

"Yeah, okay," Kris finally notices a place where he can fit his writing in snugly. It's a whole empty slot between a monstrous 'C' that someone has written in the beginning of their own signature. He writes his name messily, unlike all the other cursive curvy and stylish ones, before he quickly hands the items back. He doesn't know why he bothered putting his mark on it. It's not like he contributed in the game or made anything memorable for anyone. In fact, today he spent more time sitting rather than jumping around, despite the looks the coach kept shooting him from across the court.

Park turns the ball until he sees where Kris signed. His eyes flit to the mascot host for a second before his gaze falls back down. He says softly, "That was my spot."

Kris blinks dumbly for a moment. Then he realizes that Park had occupied half the ball with his massive signature that had a titan 'C', in whose belly Kris had just put his own name. "Uh...."

"No biggie," Park laughs it off. The star of today's game deserves the spotlight and Kris is pretty sure he ruined this guy's mood by a few good points.

"Yeah, uh, sorry?"

Park waves it off. His movements are jerky and Kris vaguely wonders if the guy is on drugs. Then the overtly happy teen is bouncing back down the corridor, towards the gymnasium, towards the noise, towards his fans.

Kris is left behind alone, stretched shadows of the late afternoon being his only company in the warmly lit corridor.

-

The next day, only half the basketball team comes to school and they look like . It shows in their bleary gazes, heavy eye bags, dry lips and droopy steps that they've been partying wild all night. Only a fraction of the cheerleading squad shows up and a small percent of the general school population is missing as well. No one is legal yet to drink but everyone knows who did what (and more), and they only pass knowing smiles to each other as they collapse in their seats.

Kris is sitting on the bleachers in the soccer field, finishing the last of his homework, when Jessica saunters up to him. She's one of the cheerleaders whom he bonded with on the mutual ground of being light-weight drinkers -in addition to being his neighbour.

"Hey Kris," She cheerily greets as soon as she's caught his attention. The taller nods in acknowledgement before resuming his task. "Didn't see you at the party last night."

"I don't go anymore," He responds, even though Jessica knows the answer. They both had made the drinking-party-no-go pact together, except Kris followed through and Jessica didn't.

"You should have been there," She grins cheekily as she climbs the steps to get closer to him, "Guess who was so drunk he couldn't tell his from his feet?"

"You?" Kris teasingly looks up and she shoots him an indignant look.

"No," Jessica drawls out the vowel, cleaning up the space beside him with her floral printed tissue paper, "Park Chanyeol." She finally answers, her words carrying a teasing lilt.

Kris looks ahead trying to put a face to the name. It takes a full minute before a set clicks in his head, "Oh," He murmurs. Park Chanyeol. One year his junior and the new favorite of the basketball coach. The rising golden boy. Teeth rich. Happy virus. He doesn't want to recall all the other nicknames sticking to the youth, but he's the one who asked Kris to sign the basketball. "Really?" Kris asks, not interested at all and resuming his homework. It's not a surprise that a student clean to his bones finally receded to the habits that plagued his sport team.

"Oh yes," Jessica replies, leaning closer as if about to divulge the most secretive of gossip. Her strong perfume irritates his airway. "He's cute, isn't he? That Chanyeol?"

"Yeah, yeah," Kris responds absentmindedly.

"He's even more cute when he's drunk," She giggles and when Kris looks up, there's a glint in her eyes that doesn't sit well with him.

"Yeah. Okay. So?"

"Nothing." She shrugs before skipping back onto the dewy grass. "I just missed you last night. You and Chanyeol are like totem poles. You would have looked good together. Happy and drunk." She laughs.

Kris dismisses her with a curt wave and resumes his homework.

-

It's fine when it's Jessica, they're somewhat friendly with each other and he never takes her seriously, but when the entire cheerleading squad crowds around him after coach chews his ear for his 'lackluster performance' in the Tournament, Kris knows some went down at last night's party.

"I can't tell if BenBen is taller or if it's Chanyeol," One of the girl's wonders out loud, "They're both like twin towers."

"They would look good together. Oppa, you should play basketball."

"They would look so hot kissing," Someone stage whispers and then he's surrounding by giggling girls.

Kris helplessly looks to Jessica for some explanation but she's also laughing at him.

"Chanyeol-oppa!" Someone from his right whispers harshly and a silence falls over the group. The named brunet sluggishly enters the gymnasium and instantly his eyes lock onto the group staring at him like hawks.

"Was'up?" He raises a hand, confusion apparent on his face before he looks behind himself to see what the group is staring at. "Everything okay guys?"

The girls all burst out in giggles. Kris feels someone pinch his arm, "Ow!"

That's the most reaction they're going to get out of him.

-

Kris knows something is fishy when something is fishy.

He's in line at the cafeteria when Jessica loops her arm around his and drags him to the front of the line. Heads turn as the pretty cheerleader drags the resident Eiffel Tower ahead of the line and pushes him in where her friends are standing. Kris is thoroughly confused. Then the person standing ahead of him turns around.

"Did you girls- Oh!" Chanyeol stops abruptly. "Hey," The jock shuffles his feet, making space between them both. Kris nods but he doubts Chanyeol sees him since the teen has turned back to face the front.

There's no practice that day and Kris is spared from whatever torture the cheerleaders had planned for him.

-

It has been a week since their high school won the tournament. It has been a week since Jessica has started pointing out all the things attractive about Chanyeol. It has been a week since the cheerleaders have been teasing him with Chanyeol's name but Kris doesn't know why the ?

Sometimes during lunch he catches Chanyeol's eye from across the cafeteria but he's never too sure if it's him or someone around him that has caught the jock's attention.

Whenever the mascot host enters the gymnasium during the team's break, the guys all start hollering and whistling. Kris promptly ignores them.

Once, when he went to the notice board to see the renewed time table, he saw Chanyeol's finger paused on the number that was doubtlessly Kris' class and not Chanyeol's.

He notices that Chanyeol sprints on the track surrounding the soccer field early morning whenever he's sitting at the bleachers completing his homework.

It begins to irritate Kris, because now Chanyeol is everywhere! He sees him in the bathroom, they bump during off time, they stand together in lines, they can easily spot each other during the assembly. It doesn't escape him how often he's caught Chanyeol staring at him on numerous occasions.

-

"Do you have a problem with me?"

Chanyeol jumps at the sound of his voice. He quickly closes his locker and stands to his full height. The usual slack in his posture vaporizes and Kris realizes that Chanyeol seems almost taller than him. But that's probably due to the mop he calls his hair.

Chanyeol rapidly shakes his head, his hair bounces animatedly. Not a sound escapes him.

"Are you talking on me?"

Chanyeol's brows furrow, his eyes widen further and he once again shakes his head. Kris can finally see why the girls tend to call him a puppy. Chanyeol goes up a number on Kris' 'I Don't Like You Anymore' list. For what? Kris doesn't know either. But he doesn't like Chanyeol and that's all the explanation he needs.

-

-

-

The soles of his rubber padded shoes squeak against the court floor as Chanyeol dodges his team mates during their mockup game. Someone comes dangerously close to snatching the ball, but Chanyeol cleverly manages to feign a pass before he ducks around the sweaty arms and dribbles the ball a few steps, scoring an easy two pointer.

Chanyeol huffs proudly and looks towards the bleachers. His face is instantly marred by disappointment when he doesn't spot the person he's searching for. One of the girls notices him look their way and gives him friendly a wave. Chanyeol waves back before he resumes the game.

It's been a week, Chanyeol thinks as he changes in the locker room half an hour later. He's still high from their school's recent victory and the euphoria isn't looking to die down anytime soon.

There is a loud bang as someone recklessly opens the gymnasium doors and Chanyeol jumps to his feet, quickly peeking out from the changing room to see if it's the person he has been waiting for. He is met with sour disappointment. Again.

It has been four days now and no sign of Kris.

Since their confrontation, Chanyeol had avoided any and all things related to Kris before he realized that the other had disappeared as well. Kris doesn't have any absences. Chanyeol knows because he searches for his face every day.

It's when he comes back to school on Monday, exercising on the soccer track and sees the outdoor bleachers empty, yet again, that he resolves to see Jessica. When he doesn't spot Kris during lunch break either, his will strengthens further. He's not sure if the cheerleader will have anything informatory to divulge, but he feels slightly desperate and partially worried and that girl is the only person he's seen Kris talk with so casually.

He finds her in the hallway by chance during the five minutes break between classes. She easily pulls away from her entourage and the two press their sides to the wall as Jessica stares him down.

"I was kind of wondering if you know anything about, you know, about Kris? I haven't seen him around the entire week." Jessica's lips twitch. "I'm really concerned." Chanyeol adds lamely because Jessica looks like she's more willing to rake her manicured nails down his face rather than disclose anything about Kris.

"I don't know when he'll be coming back." She finally answers when the warning bell rings. Chanyeol nods, disappointed.

During off time he still hopes to get a glimpse of a blonde head standing tall and prominent among the student body, but he doesn't. There's no after school practice today and Chanyeol feels slightly lost, if only for a minute.

Like most of the students, he walks home because their high school is conveniently located in a housing area. It's not a hot day, but it's not entirely pleasant either. He debates with himself if he should stop by Kris' home to check up on him. They're not well acquainted, or acquainted at all for that matter, but perhaps Kris wouldn't mind him dropping in unannounced because he has good intentions (?). It was a of luck when he saw Kris enter the house one day, and Chanyeol memorized the address without ever even realizing it.

Chanyeol loiters in front of Kris' house for a while before he promises himself that he'll definitely check up on his senior if he doesn't come to school tomorrow.

-

Chanyeol overhears the coach talking to someone about Kris being absent from all classes without submitting a leave. They need someone for BenBen or they won't have a mascot for their game on Thursday. Chanyeol finds it absurd that their concern is BenBen when they should actually be worried if anything has happened to their student.

He hunts down Jessica again at lunch. He remembers a fleeting conversation in which someone had mentioned the two being neighbors, he isn't sure, but he prays Jessica is Kris' neighbor, and a good neighbor and knows all the gossip of the neighborhood.

This time Jessica is more hesitant to talk to him, but she agrees and the two move aside to a quieter spot where Chanyeol rephrases his concerns from the day before.

"Don't spread this around," Jessica sighs as she looks back at the table her friends are sitting at, "Kris' parents divorced."

-

The next day Chanyeol finds himself outside the Wu residence. He stands there for what seems like forever, looking between the door and the bell. He's still standing and contemplating the pros and cons when a girl's voice cuts his thoughts and brings him to Earth.

"Nobody's home." She is dressed in a middle school uniform and Chanyeol swears to himself that she looks awfully familiar.

"Where is everybody?" He asks as if he had been standing there ringing the bell for ages. Which was only partially true. He had been standing for ages.

"Oppa is in the hospital," She answers in manner quite familiar, but unfamiliar, to him.

"What happened?" Chanyeol asks, a tinge of panic coloring his voice. He can't imagine Kris in a hospital bed. Even the 'why' aspect.

"Mrs. Wu's in the hospital. I think she got a heart attack," The girl hitches her bag higher up her shoulder and grips the straps tightly, "Who're you?"

Chanyeol blanches, "Um, I'm a friend."

"Oh," Her eyes seem more intelligent than her middle school uniform suggests, "I didn't think oppa had any friends."

She looks like Jessica, he notices.

-

He waits outside Kris' house the next day, again, after school. Nobody answers the door and nobody shows up.

-

It's almost two weeks now since he last saw Kris and Chanyeol grows seriously concerned. He wonders if Jessica knows which hospital Kris' mother is in and what's the room number and contact number and visiting hours and if Mrs. Wu prefers flowers or chocolates.

Chanyeol slaps his forehead to straighten his thoughts. There's only one thing that keeps him focused these days and it's basketball (the coach points out he's gotten a bit aggressive lately). The school team had to play on Thursday without their dragon mascot and no one was more upset than the coach himself. Chanyeol had kept looking at the sides hoping the googly eyed mascot would step in any moment with Kris' muffled voice rumbling from within. But it didn't and now it was way past Thursday, and Chanyeol was sporting a bruising elbow courtesy of his distracted mind during the game.

He doesn't know what is going on with Kris, but if his parents divorced and his mother got hospitalized, than the teen can't be in a happy place. Chanyeol wants to find Kris and help him, but he doesn't know how exactly. He's revised a few great lines that he'll recite to Kris whenever they next see each other, but there is more than a hundred percent chance the words will die in his throat and he'll be croaking indecipherable words meaningful only to his own heart.

The weather is severely dark for the time of the day when Chanyeol stands at his spot outside the Wu residence and starts punching the bell like an elevator button. Before he knows it the sky is rumbling, thunder clapping and he barely looks up when the sky releases a sheet of harsh rain soaking him instantly. Chanyeol runs for cover under the front porch of the house. It's a small arc and keeps him more trapped rather than protected, but Chanyeol feels grateful for any cover at the moment. He stands, watching the fat droplets drip down from the extension above his head for what seems like eternity. Every moment spent waiting outside the Wu residence has felt like an eternity. The jock decides to call it a day and steps only a few feet in the rain when he sees another person briskly walking in his general direction. It's someone he recognizes.

"Kris!" Chanyeol hollers, taking the bag off his head in his excitement. Within seconds he becomes a look-alike to a wet poodle and Kris' alarmed face comes into clear view.

"Park?" The mascot host sounds surprised as he takes in the figure of his school mate. Kris isn't much better off himself, clothes sticking to him like second skin, hair matted against his forehead and tickling his heavy eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask if you needed any notes for the classes," Chanyeol answers in a voice slightly higher than his usual baritone. Kris looks flabbergasted and the jock internally muses on his luck because this the most emotions he has seen on the guy, "You've been missing school a lot lately."

"Aren't you a junior?" Kris blurts out rather quickly.

Chanyeol runs his hand through his messy wet bangs,plastering them over his head as his face flushes. He hopes he sounds confident, "Doesn't mean I can't get them."

Kris nods, but his eyes betray his uncertainty, "Do you want to come in?" He sounds like he doesn't really want the company so Chanyeol grants him the favor.

"Nah, I'm on my way home. Come back to school, everyone misses you." With these parting words, Chanyeol holds his bag over his head again and dashes homeward. He kicks himself mentally for sounding like a retard and an awkward social turtle.

-

Chanyeol crashes into his teammate when he spots a tall blond head in his peripheral vision enter the gymnasium during afterschool practice. The two players go stumbling to the ground in a tangle of limbs and Chanyeol is quick to recover himself, guiltily pulling up his teammate as well. No hard feelings later he quickly jogs towards the bleachers and sprawls there as he listens to the girls smother Kris in a welcome. From the corner of his eye he can see Kris, standing more than a head taller than everyone, nodding to all the chatter around with a soulless smile and navigating through them towards the coach's office.

Kris leaves just as quietly as he arrives. It is not unusual because he normally does stay very quiet, but it is unsettling because the blond generally greets everyone before lounging around, ditching his classes or killing time under the pretense of practicing with the cheerleaders and the basketball team.

Chanyeol has a quiet despondent moment in which he wonders if Kris stayed back so late with them during afterschool practices just to stay away from his home where his parents might have been engaged in a cold war. Perhaps that is why he's studying everyday on the soccer field before classes. That might also explain why Kris thought Chanyeol was " talking" about him the day the mascot host confronted him by his locker. Though Chanyeol still has no idea what the hell that was about.

The teen spends so much time mulling over his thoughts, he doesn't realize he has lagged behind. His teammates are exchanging goodbyes and he cheerlessly responds before taking the shower. When he comes out of the locker room, dripping wet and missing his towel, is when he gets the surprise of his life.

Kris looks just as surprised to see him.

The basketball bounces out of the court.

"That was a three-pointer." Chanyeol deadpans.

"Yeah?" Kris murmurs, and the other can't hear him but he can read those words off Kris' lips any day because they are the most common in his vocabulary. Kris rubs his knuckles with his thumb as he stands close to the D in the opposite side of the court. The opposite side of the court from where he put a ball in the far side basket.

"I didn't know you could play," Chanyeol comments as he drops his bag on the court border, picks up the discarded ball and makes his way towards the basket. He makes an easy shoot and catches the fall down. The jock passes the ball to the other whom easily captures it with one hand.

"A little bit," Kris answers before he tosses the ball with a tilt of his wrist. It flies over Chanyeol's head and falls through the hoop.

"You're ing kidding with me," Chanyeol laughs as he catches it after a bounce. He ties his wet hair in a ponytail with the elastic band around his wrist and turns to Kris, dribbling the ball around his feet. "How little can you play?" He teases as he starts forward.

A small smile tugs on the senior's lips. He lets Chanyeol pass him and make a slam dunk. "I don't play."

"But you're so good at shooting," Chanyeol responds. He's disappointed Kris didn't take his bait. "Let's try a bit?"

Kris is someone who fascinates and intimidates Chanyeol at the same time. He readily admits to himself that he has a man-crush on the guy, and he also admits he sneaks peeks at the mascot host whenever opportunity presents itself, but he has never had enough confidence to go up to him and engage him in a conversation that could lead to possible acquaintance -or even friendship, but that's a faint dream and he knows it. Kris isn't easy to approach. He looks like he hates everything he sets his eyes on and his replies are always limited to words countable on fingers. But right here, right now, on the basketball court is where Chanyeol's ego inflates, his confidence blossoms and his blood vessels pump hormones that make him more excitable. It's the only reason he's able to respond to Kris with a straight face. It's the only reason he's able to exchange words with Kris. It's the only reason his body hasn't gone into rigidity mode.

"Let's play," Chanyeol gives no room for an answer before he casually walks around the court dribbling the ball. Kris tries to swipe it from him but fails. He laughs lightly.

"Another time," He answers, the smile still tugging at his lips before he picks his bag from the foot of the basket pole and waves a goodbye to the golden boy of the basketball team.

-

Kris is absent for two days before Chanyeol spots him on the third day, at his usual morning spot on the bleachers at the soccer field. This time he doesn't hesitate to go up to him.

"Good to see you back," Chanyeol says with as much control as he can muster over a voice mixed between excitement and nervousness. Kris smiles at him and gestures to the notebook on his lap. "Okay, you're busy. I'll see you around then."

Well, that was embarrassing.

-

There's no team practice that day but Chanyeol chances a visit to the gymnasium, hoping, praying, wishing and to his pleasant -and gleeful- surprise, finds Kris there.

The teen stands still in the middle of the court, staring at one of the baskets, when Chanyeol enters. They exchange silent greetings. Chanyeol picks a ball from the large basket and holds it up questionably for Kris to see.

"Okay," Kris responds.

A man of his word, Chanyeol mentally approves.

This time Chanyeol let's Kris take the ball and they goof around as Chanyeol gives little game tips here and there. Kris is familiar to the sport and catches on fast. Some of his attacks are so polished Chanyeol feels the elder is more practiced than he lets on. It's too much for beginner's luck. They play for barely fifteen minutes before Kris tosses the ball in the holding basket instead of the hoop and calls it a day.

"I'll see you at practice tomorrow," Chanyeol says, giving a pat to Kris' arm as he passes him towards his bag.

"I quit, actually." Kris answers and Chanyeol freezes. He turns around, blinks and reprocesses Kris' words. "That's why I came to talk to the coach today. You're gonna have to look for another BenBen." That's the most words he's ever heard Kris speak in one go and it blows his mind because it just had to be when there was solemn news.

"Is it because of your mother?"

Now it's Kris' turn to be surprised. "How did you ..."

Chanyeol gulps, "I-I'm sorry about what happened between your parents. I hope your mother is getting better. I've been meaning to visit her, you know."

"Who told you?" Kris looks so betrayed, it physically pains Chanyeol.

"I heard from here or there..."

"See you around, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol wants to kick himself. His attempts at getting close to the only person he really wants to are dying before they even breathe.

-

He's jittering with nerves by the time his shadow looms over Kris, but Chanyeol gives himself one final push before he slams his tray down next to Kris'. His cup spills over and half the food falls off the tray, but Chanyeol, in full dignity and poise, sits across Kris, drags his tray towards himself and starts eating as casually as possible.

Kris stares. A lot of people stare.

Later in the day, when Chanyeol comes out of the showers after the team practice, Kris is sitting on the bleachers, waiting for him.

-

What once used to be fifteen minutes of goofing around turns to twenty, then thirty, then forty, then an hour, then more than an hour, and then it's a few weeks later when Chanyeol realizes that they've been having private hangouts every day after school and Kris is too ing good at basketball to claim that he only knows 'a little bit'. Often times he exerts himself enough to wish for a second shower but they both walk back together sweaty and high and hot with Chanyeol rambling non-stop and Kris smiling non-stop. Until the latter breaks off because his house comes first.

Chanyeol doesn't get as nervous as he used to. He can joke freely with the other now and they exchange playful punches and pass silent greetings to each other in the hallways. Chanyeol feels something building between them and he feels elated because it's great being Kris' friend! (Does Kris consider him a friend too? He hopes so.)

"You know, I noticed something yesterday," Chanyeol says between pants as he chases after Kris, who is sprinting too damn fast across the court. Kris makes a slam dunk, hanging onto the basket with a laugh before he lets himself free. Chanyeol grabs the falling ball and dribbles it around a bit, "There's a basketball net in your garage." He looks up to see Kris' face (which can now display five emotions)before he maneuvers the ball around his opponent. Chanyeol tries scoring a point but Kris blocks it and claims the ball again. "You're really good at this." Chanyeol finally comments when Kris makes another successful shoot.

"I observe a lot," He replies, wiping the sweat off his forehead, "You should too."

"No," Chanyeol huffs as he lets himself drop on the floor. The floor smells of cleaners and rubber and something he can't quite put a name to. He wonders if Kris still smells like his cologne from earlier in the day. "I mean, you're too good. You've played before, haven't you?"

Kris doesn't answer immediately. Chanyeol raises his head to see if the other is still there. "Yes," He finally responds, sitting on the floor with hands outstretched and supported on his knees, "I played on my middle school team and for a short while in high school."

"What position?"

"Usually, center."

"Why did you stop?" Chanyeol sits up, mimicking Kris' posture. The other raises a brow, the corner of his lips twitching upward in a half smile.

"Medical problems," Kris answers, but when he sees the look of alarm on the other's face, he elaborates, "I tore a muscle. Twice. I didn't want to risk permanent damage so I stopped."

Chanyeol slowly nods. "How is it now?"

Kris grins as he raises his foot, shakes it around before he kicks Chanyeol harshly, "Great."

Chanyeol grumbles before they both fall into a comfortable silence.

"How are you holding up?" Kris' brows furrow, "How's your mom?"

Kris sighs.

That's his answer.

-

-

-

It's a friendly weekend match between two rival high schools, but the crowd pulled in is surprising in number. Kris can even spot their bony head master flitting here and there between the parents. His heart goes out to the new BenBen, whose head keeps rolling off and he keeps tripping between the kids running in his feet and clinging to his arms. The mascot doesn't look as tortured as the firsthand experience feels. Summer is melting into autumn and the chill of the season is a faint wispy feeling. The costume won't be as toasty as Kris remembers it being inside the gymnasium. He declares it a good day.

Kris takes a seat at the back of the bleachers because he doesn't want to inconvenience any viewers. He doesn't want to be spotted by Chanyeol either.

"Ladies and gentlemen, twits and twats," A faded scolding of 'Mr. Byun!' can be heard before the commentator coughs and continues. Kris chuckles with the rest of the audience and people start seating themselves. He looks down at the court, at the edge of which two teams stand in their school team uniforms with their respective groups. Chanyeol fits his uniform like a modal, broad shoulders and toned arms displayed all too perfectly, developed legs kicking the ground in his excitement and his hair tied up in his trademark style with a few loose bangs covering his forehead. He looks ready to kill (the ladies).

Kris can't help but notice the corona on the teen's head from the late afternoon sun. Chanyeol's new hair dye looks great on him. A lot of things look great on him. His big ears that Kris has yet to make vocal fun of. His big smile that lights up his surroundings. His big eyes that express what words can't. His school uniform, always unkempt- Kris halts his thoughts. Yeah, Chanyeol is good looking. So? Everyone knows that.

There's the sound of a bell, a whistle and then the referee tosses the ball into the air. It's supposed to be a friendly game but there are plenty of foul whistles, warning whistles, pushing, shoving, insults, glare downs and it's a pretty brutal match. Kris doesn't think he remembers even the tournaments being this ugly, and the teams were playing for a trophy then. Now there's no reward but plenty of bruises and middle fingers in the air. He thinks he might have missed it all because he was trapped inside BenBen's skin. Now that he's viewing it from the audience's perspective, well damn, Park Chanyeol is one fine male specimen. His confidence oozes off him in tidal waves. The shift between his game-face and grinning face has people swooning (or maybe it's just him in his head?) and when the ing piece of tease raises his shirt to fan himself, he gives a marvelous view of his navel (and maybe even his boxers but Kris wasn't looking. He convinces himself he wasn't. He didn't see anything. Really).

It's past sundown when the timer declares only seconds left before the game closes. Their team starts stalling in the game because they're ahead by a dozen points. The crowd is already cheering even when twenty seconds remain. They are some of the most anxious of Kris' life because he's seen from up close how a game can turn in only a few seconds. The rival team goes all out Hulk. He slumps in his seat with a contended sigh when everyone stands up and starts screaming hysterically as the counter hits two seconds. Kris is sure the noise can't go any higher, but it does when the numbers fall to zero. The referee's whistle is drowned out by the cheering mass and students start dancing, jumping and declaring proclamations of love. The speakers start blaring with a dance track but nobody seems to care. The basketball team is swamped and Kris runs his eyes over everyone one final time when he locks gazes with Chanyeol. The teen has already had his eyes set on him. Kris abruptly stands up and realizes his stupid mistake because now he can't pretend he didn't see the brunette. Chanyeol's hand also shoots up, pointing strictly at Kris and it's a silent order - Stay. Right. There.

The jock maneuvers through the tightly packed crowd, receiving pats and praises, before he finally climbs up the bleachers to where Kris is standing, all awkward.

"How was the game?" Chanyeol's grin splits his face into two. Kris isn't sure what he was expecting. Chanyeol had looked extremely serious when he had been staring at Kris and the latter was half expecting for some argument to start.

"You were great," He replies, "Congratulations."

"I knew I'd win when I saw you," Chanyeol laughs, "You're my lucky charm." Kris stutters over his words. He's not sure how to respond to that. Additionally, he's also not an idiot. Sometimes he wonders if Chanyeol even knows what he's doing, the way his eyes fall to Kris' lips and linger, or when his fingers rest too long on Kris' arm, or the way he invades his personal space as if he belongs there, or when he subtly flirts and then brushes it off, or how he tries to prolong Kris' departure with useless conversation topics. It's too much. Kris wishes he was a blockhead like Chanyeol. The guy is friendly with everyone but Kris knows he doesn't play tact with everyone as he does with Kris. Perhaps he's not a blockhead after all. It's hard to believe that a month ago they barely had any interactions and now he's more comfortable with Chanyeol than he is with Jessica.

"Star boy!" A voice hollers from the bottom and they both look down to see one of the team members waving excitedly at them, "Choi's place. Now!"

"You have to come," Chanyeol reaches for Kris' wrist and starts dragging him down, "I don't see you at any parties."

"Yeah," Kris tries to tug his wrist free, "I don't think I'm a party person."

"Then we'll find out tonight."

He doesn't know whose car they loaded in and whose place it is or where it is but Kris is there and Chanyeol's hand is around his wrist once again. He's grateful for the little contact because it's a small anchor for him in this unknown place. The music is loud, the ground beats with the bass and even the walls vibrate. There is an abrupt sound of loud cheers and it doesn't take a genius to figure out there's some game going on inside involving alcohol.

"Let's start living," Chanyeol declares before he drags Kris in through the open door. Kris does not recognize a single face in here. There are a bunch of faces he's seen around school, but apart from Chanyeol there's no one he can even say 'hi' to. He knows it was a terrible mistake letting the jock push him here.

They've only taken a few steps before drinks are at them. Chanyeol cheers, takes a huge gulp before making a face and Kris laughs. He leads them forward, people patting the player and yelling congrats to him and Chanyeol replies back just as enthusiastically. Kris isn't sure if these people can even hear over the noise each other because he certainly can't.

When Chanyeol finally lets him go they're standing in a crowd of dancing people. He shoves Kris' shoulder lightly and starts to move his body. Kris stands awkwardly. He knows his level of dancing skills and he doesn't want Chanyeol to think him a fool.

"Relax," Chanyeol yells. Kris more makes out the words from his lips than hears them. He takes a sip of his drink instead. Chanyeol inches closer to him and yells right into his hear, "Hold this for me. I'll be right back." Kris ignores the other's hot breath on his cheek and nods as he's handed a half-finished drink. Chanyeol leaves. Now it's just socially inept Kris in a mass of half-drunk hormonal high school students. It's an odd place, but Kris just stands there and starts to finish his cup of illegal drink. He gets d a number of times but every time he turns around there's no one to claim guilty. A few people even try to coax him into dancing but he remains ramrod rigid and sips his drink like a businessman watching an art display, though there's something lunatic about the way a few of these people are dancing (Kris sighs, pleased, at least he's better than some).

"Kris!" Jessica bounces into his vision. She looks ecstatic to see him and then surprised to see the contents in his hands, "Wow! Thanks!" The teen laughs before she snatches Chanyeol's cup and finishes it in one go. "Why so glum? Come on, dance!" Kris sees a new side to Jessica that day as she playfully against him. Kris grabs her waist to keeps her away and Jessica bursts out laughing. She takes his other cup and empties it as well, tossing it over his shoulder to a destination unknown.

"Are you drunk?" He yells, hoping she's heard him over the noise.

"Not enough!" She laughs, throwing her head back. Her arms go around his shoulders and Kris shudders, rolling his shoulders to get her hands off. "Loosen up, Kris!"

Over her head he spots two students, pressed back to chest, engaged in what would most definitely be rated PDA and a hefty fine. When he sees the guy's hand crawl into the front of the girl's jeans, he rips himself away from Jessica, hoping she is not expecting something similar. Jessica doesn't seem to mind, locking her hands over her head and dancing in a way that would seem sinful to al eyes. It is only a second later when one of the other cheerleaders finds Jessica and the girls laugh and dance together. Kris is sure the other girl has a boyfriend, but she locks lips with Jessica anyway and their hands start crawling where they shouldn't and Kris should really look away from them now.

He spots Chanyeol's head bobbing in the mass. Kris looks around himself and knows he doesn't want to be seen in this mess that's turning into something akin to an . So he pushes past everyone and aligns himself against the wall, finally breathing right. Chanyeol finds him in no time. He isn't particularly hard to spot with his tall stature and bright hair.

"You look like you've witnessed a murder,"Chanyeol grins. Kris turns to frown at him and he's gazing back at a freshly bathed Chanyeol. His hair is a dripping mess and his shoulders are wet. He's changed his clothes, though, to whose?

"Get it going, dragon!" Someone goes past them, screaming to Chanyeol with a knowing look and giving him a meaningful clap on the shoulder.

"Yeah, get it going," Kris shoves Chanyeol towards the crowd.

"I don't think you understand what he meant," Chanyeol laughs. Someone passes them with a handful of filled cups and Chanyeol takes away two, pressing one into Kris' hands. "Tomorrow's Sunday, Kris. You can live with a hangover."

Kris' protests die in his throat when one of the cheerleaders appears out of the blue and drags them both in the crowd again. Kris and Chanyeol keep their eyes trained on each other, one because he doesn't want to lose sight of the only face he knows, the other because of reasons that make Kris' stomach churn. Chanyeol has very expressive eyes.

The girl dances between them and Chanyeol follows her lead. It's amazing how he can drink while he moves his body in such an active (alarming) way. "Stop being a stiff, BenBen," She laughs, takes Kris' free hand and places it on her hip as she sways them sensually. Behind her Chanyeol snorts a laugh. Someone is dancing and waving with their cup, which Chanyeol plucks away without a second thought and drinks up with his head tossed back. He turns the cheerleader by her shoulders and hands her the empty plastics, then she is pushed out with unheard instructions from Chanyeol.

Kris is slightly shocked when Chanyeol produces another drink to down. The brunette throws his arm around Kris' shoulder, slumping his weight against the elder. Kris has to strain his ears when Chanyeol speaks, "I hate it when they do that."

"I think that's the point of this party." Kris wonders if he should drink any more after this. Chanyeol is on a non-stop ride but he doesn't seem to be drunk yet. The beer could be dilute or Chanyeol might just be a resilient drinker.

"No," Chanyeol mumbles, he turns his head to stare right at Kris, breath hot to feel and alcoholic to smell, "They know I like you. It's their thing."

"Yeah?" Kris more squeaks than says.

"I think, you know I like you."

"I know, yeah," Kris mumbles and puts his disposable cup to his lips. He keeps it there even though he's not taking any sips. It's like a safe shield for the time being, to keep himself from responding. He feels someone's elbow dig into his mid and winces because they're still standing among crazy dancing teens with Chanyeol's weight heavy against himself, and oh help him Lord, someone's started making out here as well.

"No, I don't think you understand," Chanyeol replies loudly, trying to make sure he's heard clearly. "I like you. As in, I like you-"

"Yeah, I get it-"

"As in, you give me a like,"

"I don't need that visual," Kris removes Chanyeol's arm off him, "Though, yeah, I've known it for a while now."

"Do you like me?"

"You're not acting like yourself," Kris steadies Chanyeol who tries to pry his drink, "You're well on your way to drunkville."

"I'm not drunk, I just want to know if you like me too. Seriously like, like let's make out like,"

Kris knows that Chanyeol is usually a friendly and nice person, even shy (he's one thing when you don't know him and an utterly different personality when you get to know him) but he's something else entirely when he's on the basketball court, and now Kris realizes, also when he's at loud parties. It swellshis ego a bit, knowing he was right about Chanyeol being somewhat interested in him and that he picked up the signs right. It simultaneously terrifies him because Chanyeol's interested in him and he is talking about boners and making out and Kris hasn't thought that far ahead. He didn't take Chanyeol to be the kind of person who would take initiative for anything unless chance presented itself, and Kris was never going to give him that chance. Apparently, alcohol gave him the drive instead.

Kris doesn't do relationships because he has no idea what he's supposed to do. His track record should be proof enough. He doesn't want to screw up what he has with Chanyeol. Friends secretly -or not so- liking each other is just fine with him. Just harmless staring and admiring glances and longing thoughts and the bond still survives. But it's a whole different story when it turns into some other kind of relationship, because one can never backtrack from there. If either one of them screws up they won't be able to look at each other. He doesn't want that. He thinks it's going too fast. Then again, Chanyeol befriended him really fast as well, with his constant pestering to get Kris to sign up for the basketball team.

Then it's too fast when Chanyeol is closing in on him. Too fast when Chanyeol murmurs something (Something like, “I'm going to kiss you now”. Kris doesn't know. The music is too loud in his ears).

Too fast. Maybe he's slightly dizzy too. Whoops, he drops his cup and the spill is on his shoe and pant too. Wait, wait, wait, Chanyeol-

Firm lips are pillowing his own and not a second later Kris frantically scrambles away from the arms holding him.

"Don't do this! I can't do this!" Kris panics when a large hand holds him back from the wrist.

"Kris-"

"I don't want to ruin us!" He tries to tug himself free, "Chanyeol!"

"I like you-"

"ing hell I know! I ing know!" Kris pulls his wrist free and shoves the other when he tries to hold him again, "I'm not a ing preschooler! I can tell! I have a ing functional brain!" Chanyeol gapes at him, wide eyed, surprised and slightly hurt. "Chanyeol, we'll ruin ourselves. Let's just stick to friendship."

"But, you like me too," He says pitifully.

"I swear I will break your face if you say that word again." He warns as he turns around and tries to escape this mess. He knows Chanyeol is following him and trying to put words in his ears but he doesn't want any of it. He can pretend none of this happened if it doesn't escalate any further.

"Let's be together," Chanyeol declares when he falls into step next to Kris. It's hard to stay that way with the flow of people going against him. Kris throws him an incredulous look.

"Didn't you hear a word I just said? Let's not bother with any relationship other than friendship." Kris sees the open door, the freedom it provides and he quickens his pace. "Good bye, Chanyeol."

"Wait! Kris! I like you! I'm not messing around!"

A fair number of people turn to stare. Kris flushes deep red from embarrassment and anger. He waits for Chanyeol to stand right in front of him.

Then he punches him square in the jaw.

| two |

He knew this would happen. He knew it. He knew it! He warned him, but no, he didn't listen.

Kris doesn't go to the soccer field where he knows Chanyeol would be warming up. He doesn't go to the cafeteria where he knows Chanyeol would be with his clique. He doesn't go to the gymnasium where he knows Chanyeol would be waiting for him. He spends between class gaps locked in the toilet cubicle, waiting for three minutes to pass after the final warning bell before he dashes to his next class, because he doesn't want to run into Chanyeol.

School is hectic and he feels like a fugitive. Every time he spots the unevenly cuthair, he swiftly turns to head in the opposite direction. Every time he sees a high ponytail, his heart freezes and he tries to become invisible. It's one of the few times in his life he curses his height.

The ex-mascot host succeeds in avoiding everything related to basketball for a full two days -including Jessica. There is one terrifying moment though, when Chanyeol sees him as he is heading to his class, and they both run around until Chanyeol is caught by a teacher and handed detention. Kris is both surprised and frightened by Chanyeol's determination. He doesn't think he knows anyone who is so enthusiastic about anything related to him. It's an unsettling feeling that rests in his gut, lurching every time he looks at Chanyeol. Butterflies blow up, his palms become sweaty, his heart palpitates, a haze covers his eyes. He hates this.

His new routine schedule directs him to finish all last minute homework and revisions in the library. It's where he tends to stay for an hour or more after classes too, incase Chanyeol sees him leaving and gives chase again.

He ing knew things would change for the worse, and now look at what's happening!

Kris packs his books when he notices it's a safe time to leave. The librarian isn't at her desk and he can't spot anybody, which isn't unusual for this hour. He bounces his bag higher on his shoulder, places his book on the counter since he can't bother placing it back himself. When he turns around he sees the last person he expects to see enter the library. Well , is all Kris thinks before he sprints the other way, throws open the window and jumps out. He makes the mistake of looking over his shoulder to see himself being followed and his name being pleadingly called but, nope, he is not stopping.

The teen finds himself in the ing gymnasium of all places -where it all started. The door bangs open behind him and Kris barely has any time to think before he dashes towards the locker room, his chaser hot on his heels. He slams the door behind himself. An external force stops it from closing at the last second. Kris panics and both start pushing against the door.

"Kris!" Chanyeol cries out, "Why are you running?"

"Why are you chasing!" Kris grunts as he gives a harsh shove to the door but it doesn't move even by a millimeter.

"I want to talk!"

"I don't want to hear!"

"Kris!" Chanyeol sounds miffed. All the more reason not to let him in. "I know where you live. I found out your number. But I didn't harass you, like I probably should have, because I wanted to talk to you face to face, like mature people!"

"Why are you so stuck up on this!"

"Because I like you! I want you to accept that and I want to be with you!"

"You're wrecking our friendship!"

"No," Chanyeol grunts, "You wrecked it when you started avoiding me." Kris feels the door opening and he can see Chanyeol's hand slide in. "Let me in, please," He panics like he's never done before. He's not sure if he feels faint from the lack of oxygen or excess of it. Chanyeol squeezes in more of himself. Kris' brain goes on overdrive. His heart feels like it might expire any second now. It's been through too much this past month.

Kris keeps pushing against the door until Chanyeol is half in and glaring at him. Then he jumps away and dejectedly slides down against the wall, his arms looped around his backpack as he fixes his eyes on the floor. Chanyeol squats in front of him.

"I know you like me."

"So ing what?"

"I want us to be together."

Kris snorts, "No."

"Why not?"

"Are you deaf? Dumb? I warned you not to start this," Kris yells, finally looking up at Chanyeol, "Look at us! We were just fine! What we had was great! It was great Chanyeol, I'm admitting it. Do you know what a relationship is? Do you know what being together means? I can't do that. I don't know how and I don't care to know." Chanyeol opens his mouth to reply but Kris holds up his hand and continues his tirade, "You have girls spreading themselves for you. People admire you, they look up to you. What are you doing associating yourself with me?"

"What the are you going on about? There's nothing wrong with you."

"Nothing wrong with me," Kris laughs dryly, the words jest on his tongue, "There's nothing wrong with me." Chanyeol looks confused. He had always had an expressive face and loud eyes. "We're supposed to be friends! What happens when we get together and mess up? I don't want to lose you. Why should I risk a relationship when we're already good friends? Nothing wrong with me. man, I'm gay.There's something wrong with both of us."

Chanyeol's face hardens, "I'm not ashamed," He says resolutely, "And there's nothing wrong with feeling this way. I fell for you the first minute I saw you. I think you're good looking, kind, intriguing. You were special to me even if you didn't give me a second of your day. I haven't kept it a secret from anyone. My team knows this. They don't care.So what's the big deal?"

Kris looks away, scoffing 'good looking' under his breath.

"Kris," Chanyeol starts softly, "You don't want anything to change between us, but look at how much has. You don't know how it will go from here if you don't try. I-I," He swallows, "If you want to be friends, then let's just be friends. Please, don't run away from me."He says resignedly. Kris blinks rapidly. It makes Chanyeol wonder if he's made the other cry, "I'm sorry."

The elder sighs before he looks tiredly at Chanyeol.

"Things have changed." They were swell when they only remained in his head, but now that they were splayed out in the open, his gut twisted with the feeling of vulnerability. "Even if we try, how will it go? What are we supposed to be? Boyfriends? I hate that word."

Chanyeol hums, "I think we'd just be special."

The jock sits beside the elder with his back propped against the wall sluggishly. They simply bask in each other's presence. "I feel like you're stalking me," Kris mumbles, "Who gave you my number?"

"I got it from here or there ..."

"Stalking."

Chanyeol's hand crawls between them and gently taps Kris's pinky, curling around the small digit, testing. Kris doesn't respond. Chanyeol freezes up when Kris suddenly looks at their hands, at his face and down then their hands again. "Never do this in public." Kris says. He squeezes Chanyeol's hand before retreating his own and placing it on his lap, under his bag.

It's slow, but it's a start.

-

-

-

Chanyeol knows Kris is shy. He just never knew to what extent. He also doesn't know what line he's supposed to toe with Kris - are they friends or more? He doesn't see Kris in the morning, or lunch break or even after classes. The male does show up at the gymnasium though and Chanyeol feels like a man granted a second chance at life. They greet each other as they used to but Kris' eyes are nervous and they skirt all around.

"Let's play," Chanyeol announces as he lets the ball bounce to his companion. Mercifully, they play without any unease and it feels like they're back into their old setting.

Except, they're not.

He knows it from the way Kris' eyes saunter to him, watch out for his hands, lean away from his body.

Chanyeol sighs dejectedly.

-

One day during practice he finds that Kris has entered sometime without his notice and has been observing the team. He isn't sure if he should acknowledge the other but Kris makes it easy for him when he gives him a small smile. It brightens up Chanyeol's day like nothing has ever done before.

He jogs over to the elder, "What brings you here?"

"Nothing," Kris shrugs his shoulder.

'Nothing' turns out to mean that they would walk back together again. Kris also reveals that he might try out for the basketball team. Chanyeol feels conflicted about that, but he's still happy with the news.

Kris waiting for him becomes a new part of his routine. He sits on the bleachers listening to the girls or concentrating on the game until Chanyeol walks out of the shower. Kris spends his mornings in the library now, which he claims to do so because they are dry. Lunch break is spent outdoors because it isn't congested and loud. But the after class time is reserved for Chanyeol.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, isn't sure what to make of these mixed signals.

-

The first breakthrough comes on the end of season gala at their high school.

Chanyeol sits at a stall sweltering under the sun whilst his companion has gone on break. He's busy moping around, playing with his phone and musing over the lack of customers when Kris' shadow looms over him, holding out a chilled glass of lemonade. He takes the chair abandoned by Chanyeol's friend and they sit side by side, sipping their drinks. The jock's hand hangs slack by his side and then he feels the faintest of touches. He doesn't want to discourage Kris unintentionally, so he tries to keep himself natural as he lets Kris' thumb his palm, before he gently squeezes Chanyeol's hand, "Hang in there."

Chanyeol wraps his fingers around the hand to keep it from pulling when away he senses Kris is about to.

"Thanks," he murmurs.

"This is embarrassing," Kris laughs lightly, nervously.

"It feels nice, actually."Chanyeol swings their hands, shooting Kris a grin before facing forward again.

"It does."

"I'm about to say something really stupid, okay?"

"Best not say it then." Kris swirls the ice cubes in his glass, "But you never listen to me," he mumbles to himself.

"I think I'm falling in love with you. Maybe I always have been."

The elder's grip loosens on the glass and his pants are stained the next instant, "."

But he doesn't pull his hand away from Chanyeol.

-

Kris doesn't come to the after school practice, or even after that. Chanyeol sends him a text but he doesn't respond. It begins to gnaw at the younger as he wonders if he's done anything that might have created a rift between them again. He decides to check the library, just in case, and feels glad he did because that's where he finds the other. Kris is engrossed in a book, only noticing the other when he calls out his name. His eyes follow Chanyeol until he has seated himself opposite Kris.

"Have you kissed people before?"

The question throws the teen off because he doesn't expect Kris to be the type to ask such questions. In a library nonetheless.

"Umm ... yes?"

"Have you slept around with others?"

"Well, yes." He sees no point in lying.

"Me too," Kris answers as he returns his attention to his book, "In case you were wondering."Chanyeol nods, confused, "Stop thinking of me as a al prepubescent." His eyes flick to Chanyeol before he buries himself in his book

-

The meaning behind Kris' words really sinks in a few days later when they're both lying on the court, panting, sweating and Kris staring, as Chanyeol fires off with his mouth. He shuts up when he notices Kris' eyes on him. It's a look unlike one Kris has ever given him before. Chanyeol realizes belatedly that those eyes are fixed on his lips.

"Kris?"

"Hmm?"

Chanyeol sits up a bit, wondering what course of action to take next. He won't lie to himself. If Kris is receptive to him he won't stop. But Kris is also confused and shy, and Chanyeol knows now he has to tread carefully, a pace that the other is comfortable with.

He props his face in his hand, closer to the other than he was before. Kris looks at him, his face betrays nothing but his eyes tell enough to make a world of their own. With a silent prayer for good luck, Chanyeol slowly, ever so slowly leans closer. And closer. Kris doesn't stop him. In fact, Chanyeol swears the other shifts a bit to lean forward himself. Closer. Closer.

His eyes flutter close as he relaxes himself to the feeling of the other's lips. Sweet, moist lips pressed nicely against his own. He pulls back to see the reaction. There's nothing that warns him to stay away.

He smiles. Kris returns it.

Chanyeol drops down again, the kiss more confident, more firm. He feels the stretch of Kris' lips from the smile that breaks on his face and he can't help his own. He pulls apart his lips, testing the waters and is more than surprised to feel Kris mimic his actions. Kris blows a warm breath into his mouth and Chanyeol pulls back to laugh. They come together again, with Kris raising his upper body to get better access. There's soft nibbling on his lower lip and he responds by on the other's upper lip, placing a kiss to the nose and descending on those plush lips again.

Chanyeol moves his hand, his middle finger tracing the other's neck softly, going down to the collar bones, the hollow of his neck and passing over the collar bones again. He feels Kris' breath hitch and smirks.

When their lips meet again, Kris is the one who gives the first harsh bite. Chanyeol growls in his throat and he doesn't even realize when their tongues crossed the borders of their teeth while he's Kris' muscle. Kris lets out a short moan of approval. One of his hands go to rest on Chanyeol's chest as his other supports his position.Chanyeol drapes one leg over the male, scooting closer, trailing his lips over the other's jaw line and drinking up his scent. One of his hands teases the skin of the other's neck whilst his other goes to rub shapes around his navel.

Kris suddenly groans, pulling away from the touchesand lying face down on the floor.

"Sorry," Chanyeol quickly apologizes, "I got carried away."

Kris shakes his head. "It's not that."

"Then, what's wrong?"

Kris groans again, "I'm-I'm getting hard."

A full minute later Chanyeol chuckles. He presses a kiss to the back of the other's neck, only pausing between more when Kris rests his hand over Chanyeol's recklessly beating heart. The thrum is as harsh on his palm as it is loud in Chanyeol's ears.

"Mine too." Kris whispers.

Chanyeol is a goner and he knows it.

-

Some days Chanyeol goes to the library before classes start only to tease Kris. He pinches him, playfully hits him or peppers him with kisses from his ear to his neck. Kris keeps mum but his expressions betray him. The time when he kisses back are the some of Chanyeol's favorite, but Kris only actively responds in the gymnasium. He doesn't like being touched during school hours or in places where anyone can walk in on them. For him, their ... whatever, is a very private and personal affair. Chanyeol respects it. But he has moments when he does it simply to get a rise out of Kris.

He likes the progress they're making. It's slow and sometimes Chanyeol wants them to fast forward it, but he doesn't want Kris to shut him out. Some nights when he wakes up with Kris' face imprinted behind his eyelids and his garments tight and hot on him, he wonders if they're ever even going to progress as far as his wet dreams show.

Their kisses and shy touches eventually develop into wandering hands and Kris is so body conscious it endears him to Chanyeol. He begins to wonder if Kris ever really had a boyfriend -or even a bed partner for that matter- before or if he was only told so for dubious reasons. Kris is eager to explore but extremely reticent. His persona doesn't match with his giant body and half the time Chanyeol is crooning in his ears, "It's alright, it's fine. Do whatever you feel like," encouraging him to keep going as their shirts gradually rise on their chests and they start revealing skin instead of just feeling it. Of course, Kris is always the one to stop it when he feels too embarrassedfor growing aroused.

"What are you doing to me?" Kris jokingly asks one day as Chanyeol plays with his fingers after their game. They sit close together, limbs tangled with one another, Kris slumped on Chanyeol's shoulders. The words hold deeper meaning than the moment provides and they both know it.

The same night, Chanyeol gets a text from Kris in the late hours when he's a dead weight on his bed. He only sees it when he's about to leave for school the next day.

Are you awake?

And another.

I had a weird dream about us.

His heart beat intensifies because he feels like he's reading too much into these messages but he prays he isn't. When he confronts Kris about them, the teen doesn't want to talk about it and asks him to forget it. However, it doesn't escape Chanyeolhow Kris responds to him that day. Receptive to touch and enthusiastic to touch back. He has Kris lying under him on the bench in the gymnasium locker room, all buttons undone and shirt spread under him as he kisses every inch of skin visible. He only touches his companion's hardened s with soft ghosting touches because lips on them has Kris trying to scramble away from him. They're sensitive to the point of being comical, or perhaps Kris is just that timid.

"I'm sure I've fallen in love with you." He whispers in his ear, letting his hands trail down the other's sides as Kris's own stay locked on his biceps.

"No," Kris groans, "Youhaven't."

How would you know, Chanyeol silently asks.

-

The game practices trickle down in number, as do the matches against other schools and their participation in tournaments because finals are closing in. Chanyeol doesn't realize the gravity and significance of it until the day he's walking back home with Kris and teases him about not joining the team despite practicing so regularly.

"Maybe I'll join one in college."

He instantly sees the rifts that can come between him and Kris. Kris is in his senior year and will graduate. Chanyeol still has another year to go. Kris will be far away, out of reach and out of touch, out preparing to enter real life, while Chanyeol will be left behind and thought of as a kid still playing kid games. Kris will find people, grow confident in himself and Chanyeol ... Chanyeol will be a wreck without him. There's little chance they'd end up in the same college. Even smaller that they'll be able to continue with whatever they have between them now. Kris basks in the attention Chanyeol gives him. He's a person who cherishes everything privately and Chanyeol doesn't know how he'll be able to do that with Kris away from him. Now that he's addicted himself to Kris' body, it's hard for him to wrap his head around their impending separation.

Suddenly, Chanyeol feels anger bubbling inside him. A boiling feeling he can physically detect that scorches his insides, because how can Kris be so casual about this? Was Chanyeol the only who actually wanted them to stay together? Did all of this mean nothing? Did Kris not care? They still haven't put a name on what they have between them, only Chanyeol's earlier declaration of it being 'special'.

He doesn't dare utter a word as he silently seethes, not wanting to hurt Kris in any way.

The next day when he sees Kris at the bleachers on the soccer field, a smile on his face directed for him, he is a fool in love again.

-

Kris hadn't been kidding when he had told Chanyeol he was a good observer.

"What's wrong?" He asks after everyone has left the gymnasium and Chanyeol takes a seat next to him.

"What is?" Chanyeol counters, confused.

"You seem out of it," Kris answers, "Something is bothering you. What's wrong?"

Chanyeol hums thoughtfully. "I don't know. But something really is bothering me."

Kris pats his thigh, "Tell me if I can help out in any way. You know you can tell me, right?"

"Of course," Chanyeol smiles.

-

It's not a celebratory party, more of an unofficial farewell to the seniors that has the entire student body gathered in a manor past a respectable time of day. Kris hopes there's no alcohol this time. He's in for a surprise because there's not only alcohol but open distribution of drugs too. People are high around him and he's sure some of the crowd doesn't even belong to their high school. He voices his thoughts to Chanyeol, who chuckles and nods.

"It's your last few moments as a senior, Kris. Now is not the time to be judging people. Let's forget everyone and have fun."

They go to play pong ball but drop out after the first round because Kris is afraid he won't be able to hold his alcohol and they'll lose. They loiter around a plasma screen for a while as a few players play a game. Chanyeol finally joins the dance party that's everywhere in the house while Kris chooses to stick himself to a wall and remain content by nibbling on the packaged chips he found earlier.

The obliviousness that Kris displays frustrates Chanyeol. The jock mingles with everyone, looking over at Kris every once in a while to check if he's still there. It dawns on him that this is pretty much what their relationship is, or what it feels like. Kris is always skittish and ready to bolt at the first sign of discomfort. Chanyeol is the one who dares and pushes them through.Half the time he's afraid he's reading his partner wrong and he'll make a mistake that will have the elder retreating into his cocoon. It's mentally draining.

Chanyeol weaves through the people and faces Kris, who pauses in his actions to look back inquisitively.

The brunette leans forward and he can see the hesitation in Kris' eyes, the way they dart everywhere to see if anyone is watching them.

"Let them," Chanyeol says right in his ear. Kris doesn't push him away, but he doesn't respond either and it feels like he's kissing a warm and soft statue instead of a living person.

Far into the night, Chanyeol has no idea where Kris is, having lost sight of him when he grouped with his team for a few photos. He searches for a blond head, double checking every tall person. Bless Jessica, because when she sees him, she immediately directs him towards the stairs where he finds Kris sitting on the bottom most, head leaning against the railing.

Chanyeol grips him firmly by his upper arm and hauls him up.

"Yeol," Kris whines. Chanyeol does a double take at his face.

"Kris?" He asks unsurely.

Kris sighs breathily. He pats the younger's chest, then wraps his hand at the back of his neck and lowers his face to meet his lips in a languid open mouthed kiss. Chanyeol hooks his fingers in the waistline of the other's jeans to keep him in place. "We're wrecked," Kris mumbles when he pulls away, lips brushing against Chanyeol's as he speaks.

"We are," Chanyeol responds. He's sure Kris hasn't heard him.

"What are we going to do?" Kris pulls back more and the hands on his waist keep him steady.

"About what?"

"Chanyeol," Kris frowns, "I'm graduating." The younger leans down to plant fleeting kisses on his face.

"Nothing changes. I still love you."

Kris growls, frustrated. "You don't! Don't just throw that word around!"

"I'm not throwing it around. It's not a cheap word." Kris' brow furrows and he seems to be recalling any moments Chanyeol might have confessed to him. He can only remember twice, or was it thrice?

"We shouldn't have started this," He mutters to himself, "I knew this would happen. Nothing good ever comes out of these things."

Chanyeol wraps his arms around him. The insecurities Kris brings from his home cling to him more often than they don't. The youth never speaks about his problems directly, but his words signal to Chanyeol how he's afraid they'll fall apart like his parents. That Chanyeol will grow on him and abandon him like his father (but the irony is it happens to be the other way around with them). Changes don't sit well with Kris and neither do surprises. It's only when they're together and alone is when Kris shines in a different light, someone slightly more relaxed. His actions have always spoken louder than his words ever did.

"I don't know what to do," Kris mumbles, "I don't want to feel like this."

"It's alright, Kris."

"Love ."

Chanyeol laughs.

-

On the last weekend before their finals are due, Chanyeol takes Kris to his place for the first time. His parents are out visiting relatives, and his sister is leaving just as they're entering. Quick greetings are exchanged and his sister throws in some excuse to why she's leaving him alone, but he knows she's actually going out with her boyfriend.

Kris doesn't seem as nervous as Chanyeol had assumed him to be and it satisfies him. He just wishes they had been at this stage earlier on.

They order takeout, switch between movies and blast his stereo at full volume. When Chanyeol's parents call him in warning, he lowers the volume and Kris laughs as Chanyeol curses his neighbours. Chanyeol insists Kris dance because he's never seen him and in the privacy of four walls and no eyes, Kris is more willing than he ever was even while drunk. It's ridiculous and when the elder stops in his embarrassment, Chanyeol tackles him to his bed and they roll in the confined space.

It doesn't take any persuasion before their lips are locked and their hands daring in their ventures.Kris tugs restlessly at Chanyeol's shirt and the latter pulls away, unsure what exactly is wanted of him, before his body is tugged free of his upper garments.

It's a milestone.

Chanyeol's breath hitches whenKris starts trailing kisses from his neck down his body, heat pooling in his lower stomach, body growing warmer by the second. Kris watches him expectantly. His pupils grow a scale in front of Chanyeol's eyes and he sweeps down to catch the other in a kiss full of teeth and tongue. He hears a whine of protest from the sudden harshness, but he doesn't stop, only trailing his face aside to nip and bite on the other's neck. Kris moans. Chanyeol removes the shirt blocking his access. He receives a sharp gasp when he tweaks the s he's been aching to tease. Kris groans a light warning which Chanyeol laughs off before he starts and nipping on them.

"I-I'm-," Kris stutters.

"It's alright," Chanyeol soothes when he feels Kris' arousal growingagainsthim. He grinds his thigh against it to see Kris arc his back off the bed with a scoff of disbelief. "Let's go as far as we can, hm?"Chanyeol asks, hands massaging Kris' shoulder as a shudder wrecks through his body with the pressure Chanyeol applies between his legs. Unconsciously, his legs spread wider. Chanyeol grinds down his own clothed member on the other's. Harder. Harder.

Kris grows stiff when Chanyeol starts to his pants, so Chanyeol doesn't pull them off, only ping his jeans and pressing his palm against the strain on Kris' boxers. He receives a chocked gasp. "It's okay, be loud."He grins and shakes his head to the beat that's playing.

"Killing the mood," Kris moans. He glimpses at Chanyeol before sneaking his hand between them and rubbing it against Chanyeol's . The teen jumps off him, amusement and disbeliefapparentbefore he laughs. Kris reaches for him again and this time, he works on the button and zipper as Chanyeol smothers him with kisses, a hand rubbing against his growing arousal.

Chanyeol pulls his jeans below his hips and then it's a frantic mess as their hands reach for each other, bottoms pull lower, kisses grow desperate and Kris ruts back against him to increase the friction that's supporting the heat growing in their bellies. Kris grips his hips tightly, pressing them against himself to tighten the space, to leave no gap, to gain more pleasure. Their s rub against each other to create a fiery sensation which fogs his mind and abandons all lines of straight thinking. His s are out of rhythm from Chanyeol's but no one is complaining. He isn't sure why there are tears pooling in his eyes when nothing hurts and everything only feels good, and Chanyeol is above him and slowing down but, wait, "No! No! Keep going!" He pants. He is close. So, so close. He chases the feeling of completion and it isn't long before a sob wrecks his body and he comes crying against Chanyeol's shoulder.

He breathes heavily and realizes Chanyeol still isn't finished. They share an awkward look. Kris reaches between them. He bites his lower lip from the uncomfortable sticky feeling inside his boxers but resolutely ignores it for the time being. His hand sneaks inside Chanyeol's boxers -a loud gasp releases on his chest- before he coils his fingers around the hot organ and starts pumping. Chanyeol lifts himself with trembling arms, staring down at Kris and it's a look the male will recreate in his dreams for a long time to come. His hand is coated with Chanyeol's seed only after a few quick and then the male is upon him with trembling lips that chase his anxieties away, if only for the time being.

"I think..." Kris' voice quivers, "...love..." His thoughts are abruptly cut off by a loud moan when he feels Chanyeol preparing his body for a second, more intense, round.

-

On the last day of their exam, they opt to get together at Chanyeol's place instead of the last wild party of the school year. There's no privacy this time but Chanyeol remains content nuzzling against his lover's neck. They lay on his bed, legs wrapped around each other under the sheets and a laptop placed between them as they watch a movie. It's the simple things in life that gives one the most pleasure, Chanyeol muses.

"Chanyeol,"

"Yeah?" It's a small habit he picked up from Kris. He closes his eyes and listens to the music of the ending credits.

The elder breathes deeply. "I'm moving away."

"You have to, for college." Chanyeol replies, "But we can meet up whenever you come back on your vacations."

"I mean," He gulps, "My family, we're moving to China."

Chanyeol forgets to breathe. To move. To blink. In a second his body goes from comfortable warm to ice cold. Is his heart still there in his chest?

He feels Kris encircle his arms around his shoulders. At the same time, he doesn't feel anything at all, only bits of himself break away, piece by piece. They're only small parts. But they are the ones that matter the most. To him.

He knows Kris is tracing something on his shoulder with his finger. He isn't sure if it's a random shape or a word, and Kris keeps repeating the pattern over and over, searing it as an invisible tattoo on his skin.

爱

-

It was inevitable they would grow apart.

Kris becomes busy adjusting to his new life and Chanyeol becomes busy as a senior. Their calls remain limited because international rates are high and their only contact remains through the web, which is a problem in itself due to the time zone differences.

From the messages he receives he knows Kris is having a hard time adapting. Chanyeol worries when he starts picking signs of depression. He spots fresh scars on Kris' hips, accidently visible when Kris rises to pick something on a higher shelf and his shirt glides up. He's left staring in disbelief that Kris finds solace in hurting himself and there's nothing he can do about it. When they were together, Kris was already nursing healed scars in hidden areas, one of the reasons he was so timid of exposing himself. But he assured they were haunts of the past and Chanyeol remembers kissing and caressing them, willing them to disappear.

Their schedules pull them further apart and the little contact they have eventually dries to almost none. Chanyeol tries to send as many messages but he stops hoping for replies.

Chanyeol never sees it coming though. The last message he receives.

Sorry.

After that Kris disappears.Gone like the ghost he was turning into.

The teen doesn't know if he's supposed to attend a funeral, or find a hospital, or hire a detective.

The only thing left of him is a signature Chanyeol took on the first time he gathered his courage to face the person he had fallen for. The signed basketball still sits on the shelf next to his trophy.

(Photographs don't carry the essence of a person as their own hand crafted things do. The signature was more meaningful to Chanyeol than any of the pictures he had of Kris, and he didn't have many to begin with.)

-

-

-

Epilogue

Banners fly, the crowd cheers, support whistles blow and opposing official colors dominate the sides of the court. Chanyeol doesn't know what he's doing marching out as one of the playing five in his college's team, especially when he just cleared his freshman year, but the coach finalized him and he is in no mood to disappoint. Their opponent team files out from the other side of the stands and Chanyeol's heart beats loud in his ears. His nerves are on edge, this is his first game with his college team in a tournament and he feels the weight of everyone's expectations on him from their steely gazes.

The teams face each other, their names called out on the speakers. People boom at every one announced.

The pale athlete facing him, he's called out as Wu Yi Fan. They shake hands, Chanyeol's stiff one with Yi Fan's even colder one and he feels relived he's not the only one so ing nervous.

Chanyeol doesn't know when the game begins and when it ends. Time escapes like water between his fingers and their rival team wins with a last second shoot that moves them ahead with one point. He sees their mascot being teased by the rival one but he really doesn't give a damn. He gave it his all, his coach and team members are satisfied with his performance and he's glad he'll get a chance to play again.

Their opponent's side is lush with joy and high with excitement. One of their players is staring at him and Chanyeol gives him a wave, hoping he comes off as congratulatory instead of bitter as he feels. The other doesn't even look like he sees him, rather like he's seeing through him. Chanyeol turns his attention back to his team mates who are discussing where to crash for drinks. He misses his high school days. His glory days.

"Chanyeol," He's shaken out of his reverie by a quiet voice. One of the rival's stands before him, the one he stood facing on the court.

"Hey, congratulations," Chanyeol participates in a stiff handshake. He smiles at the taller male, whom also gives back a small smile and Chanyeol's heart suddenly goes barreling against his ribs.

Those eyes, those eyebrows, those lips. He's touched, kissed and dreamed of them over a hundred million times. But they're not set below a blonde head as he so vividly remembers. There wasn't a scar on the eyebrow or one under those plush lips three years ago.

"You cut your hair," Chanyeol says dumbly. The pretty boy look has vanished and is replaced by a more mature, domineering one with dark cropped hair. The pallid skin he remembers from their video calls has given way to a healthy color, full of happiness and life.

"You cut yours," He smiles back. Their hands are still clasped together.

"You changed your name." Chanyeol says more firmly this time, "You changed your number, deleted your accounts, stopped responding."

"Yet, here I am." He grins sheepishly.

Chanyeol is awed by the elder's confidence. He doesn't remember Kris being this way. He was rigid, quiet and reserved. Yi Fan seems comfortable, astute and hot.

"I got in an exchange program. Going to finish my studies here."Kris Yi Fan says. The squeeze on Chanyeol's hand feels meaningful and intimate.

"I want to break your jaw."

Yi Fan laughs, nervous, apologetic.

"I'm really sorry, Chanyeol. It was a hard time for me. I'll explain it all, but we have to catch up first."

"When are you free?"Chanyeol squeezes back.

"Let's go right now."

Chanyeol looks inquisitively over his shoulder at his moping teammates, then at Kris' celebrating ones. "Now?"

"I'll pay," He bribes.

"Good." Chanyeol claps his shoulder, "I'm going to raid your wallet."

"We can go back to my apartment, later." Yi Fan suggests meekly. Chanyeol sees a glimpse of the Kris he knows.

"Your apartment?" A hesitant nod. Then a confident one. "Good. I'll ravage you there."

MASTERLIST