Taemin was shaking as he climbed the small steps to the door. He was vaguely aware of being surprised when they opened automatically, in his mind church doors were big old heavy wooden giants, as if you had to be worthy to somehow be strong enough to push your way inside. The doors to this particular church, which he had picked at random, felt therefore welcoming, and he let out a small giggle at himself for being comforted by an electric doors.

He walked up slowly, taking in the interiors. This was an old building, beautiful. He stared at the stained glass windows depicting Christ and he felt a small pool of panic starting to bubble in his guts.

The clearing of a throat made him jump slightly. Then he heard an amused chuckle.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." A pair of gorgeous brown eyes were twinkling from the smile on that equally gorgeous face, and Taemin felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up his neck. "You must be new to this church. I'm pastor Lee."

Taemin felt his courage sink a little. He wasn't sure why he was expecting to talk to an old man. Somehow the image had made it easier for him to make up his mind to seek councel. And now here he was, looking at this beautiful young man, pastor, and he didn't know if he would have the balls to talk candidly anymore.

"Cat got your tongue?" Pastor Lee smiled in amusement.

Taemin gave himself a mental smack. Great, now he thinks you're slow. Well done, Taemin, good first step. "Sorry pastor Lee, I'm Taemin." He held out his hand and to his relief the pastor took it.

"Please, call me Jinki. I insist. I'm not ready to be too formal,and between you and me" Jinki leaned slightly closer  "pastor is a title for old men." He let out a giggle and Taemin found himself relaxing a little more.

"So, Taemin, how can I help you?"

"W-well. I-I was hoping to talk. I f-feel unsure and I h-have no one to turn to." Excellent, a nervous stutter, just what you need.

"Sure, it has been a slow day and I'm free for the rest of it. Would you like to sit down?"

Jinki motioned to the benches and Taemin sat down. He took a deep breath. It's now or never.

"I used to think of myself as a good Christian. I prayed and went to church regularly. I was humble and thankful for having what most would think of as an easy life. I always thought I'd find a lovely girl, fall in love, get married in a church and lead a respectable happy family life."

"I'm sensing a "but"."

"Toward the end of my teenage years I felt my feelings shift. I could not find it in me to be attracted to girls. I-instead, I-I..."

"You found yourself gravitating toward your own ?"

Taemin blushed furiously. "Are you always this blunt, pastor?" That made the man smile again, this time however, it was apologetic.

"Please, it's "Jinki". And I'm sorry, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable. I have a habit of saying what I see."

"Oh."

"But I'm curious to know as to what you would like from me? You seem to know your own heart."

Taemin blinked. It wasn't until now that he realised he had been hoping for admonishment. Some kind of punishment for his sins. That scared him.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. "If you don't mind me asking, how old are you Taemin?"

"I'm 26. Why would you ask?"

"Well, I'm 30, I am not much older than you so I don't feel like I can give you any words of wisdom. Neither can I treat you like a naughty child, if that is what you are after. I would, however, like to offer you some friendly advice, if that is acceptable to you."

"Please." He felt himself blush again. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the frank nature of the man in front of him. Maybe it was the hand that still lingered on his shoulder. All he knew was he shouldn't feel like this toward a man of faith.

"There are many paths we find hard to navigate in modern life. Many decisions feel like going against the good book. The advice I have for you is to examine the Bible critically, treat it as a book of its' own time. Some people take the book to spread hatred, but the overwhelming message of the Bible is love. It's that simple. Love humanity, love God."

"But isn't being gay a sin?"

"Many things we do would be considered a sin according to the Bible. That hasn't stopped modern life from moving on, evolving. Most of us wear polyester at some point, so far I don't know anyone who has been stoned for it, rightly so. Living your life and committing sin do not stop you from being a good person, from loving God. Does it?"

Taemin surprised himself by letting out a small chuckle. He felt immense relief that there was someone who did not feel disgusted by his confession. He felt giddy.

"I'm pleased to see you smile, Taemin. I do not know your background but I want you to promise yourself that you will live your life being true to yourself. Once you accept yourself, you'll feel the love that surrounds you. Trust me, I have been where you are."

That made Taemin take a sharp intake of breath."You - you mean you're?.."

"...Gay? Yes. And you'll be happy to know this congregation will support you. We are like a family here, we accept people for who they are."

"I- I didn't know you could be a pastor if you were gay. I feel so stupid now."

"Don't, it's still new to may parishes. Some still are not accepting of it, sadly. But times change. The day of equality will come I am sure, I believe in the good of humanity."

"I feel overwhelmed." Taemin took note of his surroundings again. This time really noticing the electric doors, the radiators on the walls, even the small television above the pulpit.  Maybe the times were moving on, changing the way churches look on the inside as well as their teachings.

"Thank you, pastor. Honestly, I'm not sure I can accept myself fully right yet, but I feel coming here has given me the hope to do so."

"I told you, it's "Jinki". And we hold an LGBTQ night every Wednesday at 6PM if you feel like joining us."

It felt more like a request than an offer, and that made Taemin feel his bubbling pool of panic changing into something altogether more warm.

"Thank you. Jinki. Maybe I'll stop by next Wednesday."

They shook hands and Taemin prepared to leave. He felt Jinki's gaze on his back as he walked toward the exit and he heard his name being uttered. Turning around he saw the man walking up to him with a hesitant smile.

"If you don't mind me being so bold I'd like to invite you to church this Sunday. I promise it won't be boring?" A small blush crept up the older man's face and Taemin felt his knees go weak. "And if you find yourself liking it here, you might consider joining up? Here is our newsletter. Think about it."

Taemin took the small booklet and for some reason felt like this was all he had been waiting for. "Thanks!" he beamed. "I'll read it once I get home. Goodbye, Jinki."

"See you around, Taemin."

Did he just wink? He just winked didn't he? He did. He winked at you.

As he walked down the steps to the busy street it occurred to Taemin that the sun was shining. Somehow, it felt warmer than before.

AN: Sorry! This arse in so many ways. It's like I just vomited words on the page and they formed themselves in to random sentences. Don't mind me, I'll just go hit my head repeatedly against the wall.