"We can always work it out," Sehun insisted his point for the umpteenth time. You sighed. He never listens to you. He is blinded by his own wants.

"That is always what you say when in fact, you do not have any plans on how we can work this out," once again, you opposed him.

You are right. Both of you know that you are right. Your relationship has always been a mess, not because you do not love each other enough. Actually, you love and value each other too much — too much that it always gets in the way of your happiness and dreams. It’s just that the situation you are in is complicated and tough.

Sehun is an idol and you are living a life outside the spotlight as a university student. Everybody knows what is wrong in this picture. It is a clash of two worlds. Both of you knew this from the start, although you were holding back at first, Sehun assured that you can work it out. You are in love, so you just closed your eyes and took the risk.

— Flashback —

"Are you done? Can you let me speak now?" Sehun tried his best to sound calm but his annoyance cannot be hidden on his face. "She is a senior and I just did that out of respect. I am supposed to do that, I’m her junior. That’s how it works in this industry, you should know that well enough by now."

You looked down before speaking. Once again, this argument leads down to that reason - that you don’t fully understand each other’s world. “But the broadcast was almost over! Chanyeol and the others were already walking to exit the stage but you still turned around to smile and greet her!” you stated your point without the intention of losing this argument.

Sehun faked a laugh before answering you, “I can’t believe you are being like this! She congratulated us for winning. If I didn’t turn around to acknowledge her, EXO would have been in the news now for being impolite and arrogant. The other members didn’t hear her and luckily, I did!”

Sehun looked at you like he is waiting for you to speak. Upon realising that you do not intend to say anything, he went to sit on the couch, crossed his arms and went back to looking at you. You caught his stare but looked away and decided to stay quiet. You realised how pathetic you sounded earlier. This always happens and you know how you hurt Sehun every time you doubt him. You cannot blame yourself for being always so insecure. Sehun is one of the most good looking idols in his generation, surrounded by equally good looking women who are mostly big names in the industry. You know to yourself that he won’t ever cheat on you but you can’t help but make a drama out of your uncontrollable jealousy. Maybe you just want it when he assures you. Maybe you just want it when he makes you feel secured. You hate yourself for this.

You grabbed your bag with a clenched fist and turned your back on Sehun as you have set your mind to leave. “_____!” Sehun called your name before you even opened the door. “Where are you going? Can’t we just forget about what happened? Come here,” he tapped the empty space on the double couch he is sitting on, signalling you to seat there beside him. You know what would happen next if you do that. This scenario isn’t new. You would sit there as he cuddles with you, telling you words of assurance that you are the only one he loves. You know you already hurt him by doubting him yet you are the one who is going to be comforted. In that moment, you hated yourself more.

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