Cold stare against cold stare. I should have been used to that. It has always been like this so I should be acting all nonchalant at this very moment. Her icy aura, her cold treatment towards me. This was what makes us for the past few years. This was what we have become. And everybody knows about this, who wouldn't? She in acting. Good for her that she chose to be a singer and not an actress 'cause she really in acting. She could not even look at me in the eyes without showing disgust or exasperation. Fan service? She's not doing any skinship if it is with me. It was like she'll get a third degree burn if I get to stand close to her.

This was what I am to Kim Taeyeon. For God knows how long, this was where I stand in her life. For God knows how long, I have always been behind. I tried to accept that fact and be contented with whatever piece of crap we had. With closed eyes, I forced myself to believe in what I want to believe. Screw everything. As long as I can be with her, I can bear all this . But not now. Not anymore.

"Jessica .." I heard her called out my name as we were still exchanging cold stares inside this room that used to be ours. Her voice was soft and almost fainting, very unusual for Kim Taeyeon whose exceptional voice stands out among us most of the time. Her eyes, there was something odd in her eyes. Something I have never seen before. Was it pity? Was Kim Taeyeon capable of sympathizing? Maybe not. Or was it guilt? Guilt because of what? Because of forcing me to leave the group oh so suddenly? If it was that, I do not know. I was not capable of knowing anything anymor