Donghae was like a white in Hyukjae's eyes; innocent and pure. He was serene and also beautiful, but sometimes he gave out the feeling, like a breath taking snowy view that captured your heart yet made you feel lonely. Ageless beauty that would always move something inside of those who looked at it.

Hyukjae couldn't help but smile when he let his eyes roam every bit of Donghae's face, who was breathing calmly, still sleeping. He worried a bit as Donghae grimaced in his sleep for a few seconds before pulling the blanket over his head as if trying to hide under it. It wasn't first time when Hyukjae would look other one like this and he was sure that he would never get tired of it. He couldn't help it but find it cute how Donghae's face would be so calm, so innocent when he was sleeping, like every worry had been ceased its excistense in his life.
But for the past week Donghae had seem to be worried over something and Hyukjae could see how it affected his sleep, thus he was happy when Donghae did seem to sleep just fine. Hyukjae often wondered what kind of dreams Donghae could be seeing, but he never asked.

Sometimes he hoped that he did, especially since he had a hunch that it was because of him. But he couldn't remember.

Donghae was like a yellow; bubbly and bright, trying to seek something good in everything, looking forward. He was his sun. But like a sun fades away after the day, so did smile on Donghae's face.

When Donghae finally woke up Hyukjae bid him good morning but smiled sadly when Donghae didn't answer him back. He looked as Donghae got up, opened the curtains to let sunlight in, smiling as Donghae smiled too while watching birds flying and singing outside. As he had done for past week, he watched how Donghae drank coffee before heading to take a shower - weird order of doing things in Hyukjae's opinion, yet he was already used to it - before he went out. Like for a past week Donghae stopped for a few seconds on the doorway like battling with himself before whispering "Bye Hyukjae," with smile that Hyukjae couldn't decide if it was happy or not on his face. 

And like always Hyukjae answered back to already closed door, feeling guilty as he couldn't remember how did he hurt Donghae.

Sometimes Donghae reminded him of the color red; he was fierce and passionate, so determined that he often was mistaked to be angry. He would give his all for everything he was doing, even when he hated it.

Donghae worked as a coach in middle school for boy's football team and even when he often complained about them being brats Hyukjae knew that he would do all he could for the team. Hyukjae had often seen how Donghae would show them how to kick the ball, what would be the best action to do and so on. He himself didn't know anything but judging by admiration showing on boys' faces even when they tried to hide it he knew that Donghae was good.

Donghae was surprisingly patient when he was coaching, letting out his frustration only at home, but there were times when he would use too harsh words that some would feel like quitting, but somehow he always succeeded to turn it around so boys would end up being even more determined, sometimes asking him to coach them even more.

Lately Hyukjae wondered if Donghae stayed behind later because he didn't want to come home where he was waiting. 

Donghae has always been like an orange; an optimistic person and he was good with his words, often saving Hyukjae's when he would blurt out something unnecessary. But for some reason, for a while that Donghae he once knew had been disappearing from his sight.

When Donghae arrived back home he whispered faint "I'm home" before heading to their room where he would just sit down on the bed before slumping down. For a past week he had done so and even thought Hyukjae tried, he didn't tell him why. He didn't speak at all during that time, just wondering around their apartment like trying to figure out if it really was his, often carrying piece of paper with him.

It was frustrating for Hyukjae how he could clearly see that something was wrong but how Donghae didn't seem to trust him enought to voice out his problems. He wanted to punch Donghae in hope that that would make him spit out everything, but he tried to remain patient. 

But it was getting harder and harder every day, so he decided to take a walk outside to calm himself down

He had always known that Donghae was like a purple; his imagination was great, sometimes even immature but it also was the reason why he was so good to handle children some of their friends brought over.

There were times when Donghae seemed to be really possessive like a green; if something was important to him he would either hide it from the world or keep it around so no one would be able to take it from him. 

Hyukjae was curious to know what was the paper Donghae had been carrying around, what could be so important that couldn't be left for even a second. He knew that Donghae always took the paper with him, folding it gently before placing it in his pocket. He knew that it wasn't good to pry, but Hyukjae decided to ask anyway.

But like before, he was harshly ignored now as well. There was an urge to take the paper from Donghae and rip it apart, weird sense of jealousy hitting him. He wanted Donghae all by himself. As he got a tiny glimpse of the paper, he realized it wasn't just that. It was a letter.

Had he really hurt Donghae so much that he carried the letter of someone else with him? He wish he could remember.

Donghae was sometimes like a blue color; like a open sky and the sea shining under the sun. And sometimes Donghae's sorrow was as big as those together, stabbing Hyukjae right into his heart.

Hyukjae stared the man sitting before him, silence around them suffocating him. He stood there, with unbearable expression with hint of slight discomfort on his face, never trying to say anything or move as the man would occasionally stand as well like he was going somewhere before realizing there were nowhere to go and slumping down again. Hyukjae stared as the man gripped his hair, hit the table with his fists, read torn out letter over and over again. It was when first tears appeared in man's eyes that Hyukjae uttered his first word.

"Donghae..."

Hyukjae knew he had done something terrible, something that made Donghae cry his eyes out in front of him yet not acknowledge him at all. He knew that yet he couldn't remember even when he desperately tried to. So he had no other option than whisper soothing words, apologize for whatever made Donghae so upset. But he had his limit as well. It had been a week already, and he was getting frustrated. He wanted Donghae to acknowledge his presense.

"Donghae, why won't you look at me? Please, look at me, I'm sorry."

But Donghae didn't raise his head, but for Hyukjae's relieve his sobs had ceased down. He smiled for the man before him sadly "I will leave you alone now," he whispered and walked away, wondering if he should cook something for Donghae to make him feel better, to apologize, but then his eyes caught a climpse of something. A mirror.

But for Hyukjae Donghae was also black; absence of every color, yet everything he searched in same spot. He was his cruel pacemaker, the one who made him realize the truth. Even when he didn't want to.

He breathed heavily as he slowly walked towards the said mirror until he stood directly in front of it. And that moment, he felt like he was about to faint then and there, and he took slow steps backwards before sprinting back to where Donghae still was sitting, yet again crying. He stopped directly next to Donghae, his eyes wild and he bit his lower lip before shakily pleading

"Donghae, look at me. Please just look at me..." 

He held his breathe when Donghae stood up, momentarily feeling relieved and smile nearly appeared on his face, but it all was shattered when Donghae walked right past him, his eyes never looking at him. By now Hyukjae felt his own tears falling down his cheeks "Donghae, look at me and tell me why I can't see myself in a mirror... LOOK AT ME!" 
He wanted to break everything, he wanted to hit Donghae, he wanted to - but then his eyes noticed the torn out letter Donghae had left on the table, and he slowly bend over to read it for the first time and after every word he felt more and more sick, and when he tried to raise the letter his hand went through it.

"Oh my god.... oh my god...." he cried out and once again went to where Donghae was, desperately pleading "Tell me it's not true Donghae, tell me it's not true... That letter, tell me it's just a lie..." he tried to grab Donghae's hand but he couldn't, same thing as with the letter happening once again. But the last piece was when Donghae walked straight through him, and he fell down on his knees.

Donghae was like a rainbow in his life. And now that rainbow was forever gone like was his own world, only few words on letter remained after him

'Smile, you have to smile Donghae. I want you to smile while I break down and shatter. You'll always be my rainbow, even when my world is gone.'

Gonna fix errors later, brain won't listen to me anymore dammit. Sorry♥