“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” 
― Søren Kierkegaard

 

 

The night was exceptionally quite expect for the sound happening in the kitchen. Everything was still and seems sleeping away for a while. Taecyeon sighed and tapped his fingers on the wooden table. He just felt utterly bored to death. Instead of partying all out in a club, there he is... sitting frustrated on a chair, waiting for his bestfriend to finish his dinner, a mere pack of ramen.

 

 

"Seriously, Taec?" His mind was awakened as a pot of hot and mouth watering ramen was placed in front of him, the nebulous smoke tempting his senses.

 

 

"What kind of man in his right mind would think of bumping a gangster's motorbike?" He saw Victoria's brows knit together as she slammed the poor spoon on the table.

 

 

Without any plan on defending himself, he grabbed the spoon and started to savour the heavenly meal. Vic crossed her arms around her chest and waited for him to say something but Taecyeon showed no interest to her concern.

 

 

"What did the guy say? How did you get out of it?" Irritation, curiosity, and concern laced her tone. As she can remember, the last time he did something this stupid; it was her bank account that suffered tremendously.

 

 

 Taecyeon stupidly thought it would be cool to create a scene in a local bar and happen to damage some properties in the process and that was only few days ago.

 

The spoon hanging mid-air, Taecyeon felt his irk and annoyance draw back his system. The jerk was demanding for a big sum of money for the repairs and 'physical damage' but it was obviously overpriced.  He had one before and knows that the price was ten times the original one.

 

 

"I... I had a fight with him... beat him... and yeah... we kinda... you know settled it" It was an obvious lie and they both know it. Among all the great things he boasts he can do, fighting was never part of the long list. Vic even doubts he could throw a decent punch. He was a lanky guy behind the hulking figure, a total fool in the field of manly battles.

 

 

Vic drew a long breathe and sighed loudly, her body giving in and slumped towards the chair opposite to his.

 

 

"If you're not my bestfriend since diaper days, I would have killed you right now and if aunt didn't nicely and sweetly asked me to not tell your father about this, I would be ringing his phone by this very moment" After hearing her speak, nothing was really registered in his mind expect for the latter part of her speech.

 

 

He felt his appetite be gone and the painful past started crawling its way out, letting out the dark he'd been trying to keep away.

 

 

"It useless" he murmured in a very low voice that would be impossible for many people to hear but not for Vic who had been hearing that tone everytime Taec is in his down moments.

 

 

"How sure are you?"

 

 

"It's been more than ten years. He would've forgotten us long before..." His eyes brimmed with tears but he forced himself to push back the unwanted emotions.

 

 

 

He felt Vic's warm hands landed on his and for a few seconds they stayed silent. It was comforting and somehow great to know that someone's there to lean on.

 

 

"I don't know why... but I believe he hasn't" Vic sounded so genuine and so true. Yet, he couldn't make himself believe such an obvious lie. He pulled his hand away and focused his attention back to the forgotten and now cold ramen.

 

 

"I should get going. I still need to check if there is an update to the search" Vic stood up from the chair and collected her bag resting idly on the couch. He watched her move and felt her temporary existence the only good thing that happened that day.

 

 

"Vic" he called out.

 

 

"Thank you and text me if you hear an update. I'll think about what you believe in" He smiled genuinely at her after a long time.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

"Ok. See you. Goo--" his words hung unsaid when an iron fist met his jaw forcefully. He tumbled back dazedly and felt a stinging pain creep through his head.

 

 

He landed on his and his sight turned shaky for a while. After gradually acclimating, he noticed being surrounded by few men and one very familiar to him.

 

 

"Do you really think you can run away from me?" It was him. The jerk he happen to be indebted to. The guy he bumped vehicles with.

 

 

"Where's the money?!" A kick on his side shook him and he desperately tried to pull up but he felt the man's foot weigh down his right shoulder with a hurtful thump. He fell flat on his back and his gaze met the clear blue sky... slowly, memories started flashing to his mind as the momentum took over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taecyeon was waiting for his dad to pick him up that time. He was sitting on a swing, taking in the surroundings as he watch few kids scatter around on the school playground. He felt his excitement bubble up inside him as he glanced on the medal hanging proudly on his chest. A smile crossed his lips victoriously. He had won the Math competition again early that day. For the past few years he had been the champion and everytime, his dad would bring him to his favourite cafe for a drink of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

 

 

"Go away!" His head snapped after hearing the firm yet pleading voice. Frantically searching the whole place with his eyes, he saw in a far corner near the school pond, a girl was being surrounded by few fifth graders.

 

 

He knew them really well and to say they are the same ones who bully him just because he was really good in Math and that he was a grade lower than them was enough reason to do so.

 

He sprung to his feet and without much thought, ran towards them. By the time he reached them, he was already all sweaty and breathless.

 

 

"Stop!" He shouted almost breathlessly.

 

 

"Omona! Isn't this our Math Genius?" Cheon Gi, the group leader, mocked him.

 

 

"Help me. Please help me" Looking behind the thuds, he saw a girl shaking and in a mere fragile state. Her silky black hair was being blown by the wind and tears were b around her sparkly and gorgeous round eyes.

 

 

An unknown feeling crawled in his chest and for a second, the world seem to stop and he was truly mesmerized. It felt so alien... so unfamiliar. Like some sort of force was drawing him near to her but his feet were frozen in the ground.

 

 

The next second, he found himself throwing an unsuccessful punch towards Cheon Gi. Fear enveloped his system but somehow he found courage. The group, each one, deadly glared at him for the act he had shown and soon started attacking without mercy. He never fought back before and it was the first he did such a foolish thing that totally maddened Cheon Gi and his so called clan.

 

 

"Appa!" He shouted as loudly as he could, hoping for somehow his father could've have heard his plead.

 

He couldn't remember how many hits and blows he received but all he can remember was after that, he laid flat on his back, gazing at the same blue sky... wounded and violated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yah! Speak up!" He groaned loudly as another kick hit his side

 

.

 

"Where is my money?!" The man shouted near his face while squatting down on one knee, fist curling around his neatly ironed collar.

 

 

"I don't have it" He spoke firmly.

 

 

"What?" He puffed ridiculously and threw him a did-I-hear-right kind of look. The man stood up and brushed the dusts of his jeans. Taecyeon noticed the gang walking nearer towards him.

 

 

"You guys know what to do" The man's authoritative voice rang on his ear and he felt fear building up inside him. Punches, kicks, and various hits... his body seem stronger than he think of after receiving few of them. He felt his own blood trip down the side of his face, his eyesbrows obtaining a deep cut same as the side of his lips. He felt like the pain would never end. It was starting to get unbearable and he could feel his body starting to turn numb.

 

 

"I think you've learned your lessons now, don't you?" The man chuckled.

 

 

"Well find you again next week and I want my money" The violence stopped and he watched the gang retreat away, leaving him lying on the cold gravel ground. With shaky and weak hands, he reached for his phone that was lying beside him, using all the strength left on his nerves.

 

 

The ringing started, then another and another. By the fourth ring the familiar voice he was yearning was heard.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

He saw her running frantically towards him with a face filled with terror and crouched on his side. She pulled his head up and rested it on her kneeled lap, caressing his injured cheeks.

 

 

"I called the hospital. An ambulance would be here soon. Just hang on" He heard Victoria's shaky voice reassuring him. He weakly nodded his head and forced a small smile on his lips despite of the immerse pain, adrenaline pumping vigorously on his chest.

 

 

"What happened to you, Taec?" Her voice was soft and low like it was not meant for him to hear.

 

 

"What happened to us?" Tears rolled down her cheeks and she started to sob, her cries too painful to hear. What happened? He, himself, doesn't know what really happened. One moment, he was leading a great life and a bright future... then everything started to change that unfortunate day at the playground.

 

 

"She wouldn't be happy seeing us like this... you like this" Victoria whispered dreamily.
 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you okay, mister?" A soft and warm hand held his. The little girl looked at him with so much worry and care like how his mother would everytime he scrapes his knees when his father would teach him how to ride a bike. She took a flowerly patterned handkerchief out of her summer dress pocket and wiped the smudge on his forehead.

 

 

"My father said you shouldn't shoot a gun if you are not prepared to fight"

 

 

Taecyeon just watched her wipe away the dirt on his face and took his time admiring her pretty face.

 

"Where does it hurt?"

 

 

He listened to his heart beating erratically on his chest. The pounding so hard he thought it would break away.

 

 

"You shouldn't have punched him if you don't know how to fight"

 

 

Her face was hypnotizing and he can't make himself to look away and lose sight of her.

 

 

"I thought my father would've come. He was never late" He murmured, dreamily. The little girl effortly helped him up and he was soon on his feet, limping but standing.

 

 

"But I am really grateful. Thank you, Mr..." she smiled at him sweetly with sparkling eyes.

 

 

"I'm Ok TaecYeon" He grinned cheekily, ears turning abnormally red.

 

 

"Nice meeting you, Ok Taecyeon.  I'm... "