1. ages five & six

“sehun is dumb, sehun is dumb!”

“i am not..!”

“he doesn’t know how to talk, he’s dumb! dumb!”

loud childish laughter almost echoed through the walls of the kindergarten room, where sehun’s own voice, as soft as a rose’s petal, kept muttering and stuttering his own protests of self-defense. it went always this – like a broken record.  sehun would try to join baekhyun and his group of friends, to engage in their playtime and be part of all the fun, just to be ridiculed over the heavy lisp he is unable to control. and it was baekhyun who would start it, baekhyun who would point out his lisp slips and copy them in a mocking voice, baekhyun who would incite the others to laugh along.

and yet sehun would try, over and over again, to win baekhyun’s sympathy.

“i-i’m not dumb.” another stutter, another whimper, along with the hint of an awakening sob. bringing his tiny hands, curled into fists to his eyes, sehun would sniffle and rub the forming tears away, lower lip jutting out in discontentment as his cheeks flushed pink.

 it started with the laughter, it ended with sehun crying. the sight of the tears rolling down the younger’s cheeks would always awake a feeling of guilt in baekhyun’s chest, a feeling he couldn’t quite comprehend in his young age although it always made playing a bit more difficult.

(baekhyun didn’t admit it, but he hated to see sehun cry.)

“h-hey- don’t. don’t do that.” baekhyun’s laughter ceased down and so did chanyeol’s and jongdae’s, who would always follow the shortest’ actions as if he were their queen bee. baekhyun’s lips pressed in a thin line, brows furrowing in disapproval and unease. “stop crying..!”

yet sehun didn’t listen, instead fighting back the sobs and keeping his head low in embarrassment, little body shaking along with the tears. this was always that split second, that frozen moment where baekhyun would ponder – to comfort sehun, or to leave him like this.

never once did he manage to do either, because a caretaker would always come take sehun into her comforting arms and scold baekhyun that bullying was bad.

2. ages eight & nine

“he’s doing that thing again.”

“ugh, c’mon.”

baekhyun’s brows furrow in almost disgust as he grabs kyungsoo’s shoulder, turning him around as their backs face sehun, who was innocently so (and badly hidden) standing a few feet away from them with a longing gaze. baekhyun’s luck back in kindergarten was finally graduating to his first year of primary school. such luck ended the moment he reached his second year and sehun popped in for his own first year as well.
ever since then, it has been kindergarten all over again. he follows baekhyun around, and although this time he has finally given up on the shameful act of asking to join in and be ridiculed by the boy he likes so much, the longing gaze always remains.

“maybe you should give him a chance.” kyungsoo mutters, a short glance given over his shoulder before looking back at his best friend. “maybe then he’ll stop.”

“no.” baekhyun childishly refused, the thought earning a pout on his lips and a huffing of cheeks. “i don’t like him. i don’t want to be with him.”

“but you care about him.”

“i- i don’t!”

“do too.”

“do not!”

3. ages twelve & thirteen

“your glasses are stupid.”

“well your braces are ugly.”

“jerk.”

“idiot.”

the two glare at each other through narrowed eyes and pursed lips, baekhyun stretching merely because sehun has grown slightly taller than him by now. he had no idea when sehun thought it was acceptable to actually direct his word towards him and more so insult him in return, but byun baekhyun does not approve.

byun baekhyun does not approve at all.

“leave me alone, what do you want?” the shorter whined, giving sehun a uttermost offended gaze as he turned his body, arms folding angrily over his chest. “you can’t talk to me.”

“yes i can, and i will.” sehun said confidently so, lisp still audible though not as heavy as when he was younger. his own arms folded over his chest in an imitating way, shifting his weight from one feet to other.

baekhyun makes a noise in the back of his throat, one high-pitched and angry one as he stomps his foot childishly so and turns to glare at sehun once more. his feelings were somewhere along wanting to throw the biggest tantrum, though there was an image he had to keep, and therefore such behaviour was not allowed.

(they are only in middle school, but baekhyun thinks he’s such an adult already. a child-like vision of himself; it’s the age.)

instead he turns towards sehun and gives him a harsh push, one that only made him stumble a little backwards, and childishly stuck his tongue out at him. “i really hate you!”

sehun looked offended for a moment, watching as baekhyun turned and started quickly walking away, before huffing and shouting back, “well i really hate you, too!”

4. ages fifteen & sixteen

“, he’s getting hot.”

kyungsoo’s brows raise at this, giving his best friend a rather amused gaze. baekhyun’s vocabulary had grown to be quite the naughty one overtime, probably an angry coping mechanism with the fact that jongdae went to a different high school, but to hear him swear this way and over that person was indeed a sight lovely to behold. “who is?”

“you know who.” baekhyun groans, voice low as if in fright of being heard as he not so subtly so eyes sehun leaning against the corridor wall, eyes set on his mobile screen and thumbs tapping quickly on it. “i think he’s going through that phase boys have where they start growing really tall.”

(one he and kyungsoo missed, sadly.)

“mhm.” kyungsoo hums in reply while baekhyun mumbles something along the lines of ‘and where did his lisp go? ugh, so cute’, before giving baekhyun a knowing look. “i thought you were dating chanyeol?”

baekhyun looks startled for a moment, raising his gaze to his best friend like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “well, yeah, but-“ he gives up before even trying, small groan heard from him as he rolls his eyes. “c’mon, we both know we’re not actually dating dating. i just want to look cool, okay? i mean, chanyeol plays in the basketball team and everything.”

“yes, of course.” kyungsoo snorts with a rolling eyes gesture of his own, glancing towards sehun and back at the black-haired boy next to him. “and of course we both know you’re not dating chanyeol to make sehun jealous, right?”

“what? of course not.” baekhyun quickly denies, brows furrowing slightly as he looks at said boy in question. his hands curl, he pouts. “i’m not.” a repeating of words, a self-reassurance. he glances at kyungsoo, back at sehun, purses his lips – and whimpers, “maybe.”

5. ages eighteen & nineteen

“look at them. who would have known?”

“i know, right?” jongin laughs, leaning back as he eyed the view both he and kyungsoo were admiring. the rooftop of their college was their favourite place to hang around (mainly because they weren’t actually allowed up there, but they are such rebels), the quiet and peaceful being great for last-minute study reviews or for gossiping about the dumb classes each has. this time, though, sehun interrupted their gossiping session to ask baekhyun if he could talk privately to him, to which baekhyun agreed after exchanging a nervous look with kyungsoo.

somehow that ended up with sehun sitting on the edge, back against the protecting rooftop fence and baekhyun in his lap. they were close, closer than either kyungsoo or jongin had ever seen them. baekhyun’s head was low in embarrassment, overgrown fringe hanging over his eyes. sehun was smiling up at him, hand gently so cupping the shorter’s cheek. they spoke so softly, so quietly, neither jongin nor kyungsoo could hear a word.

yet it went without saying that they both knew what was going on over there.

“it’s okay, baekhyun.” sehun spoke softly, so softly that it sent shivers down baekhyun’s spine. the shorter’s mouth opened slightly just to close again while sehun saw his adam apple bob as baekhyun swallowed dryly. it wasn’t difficult to tell he was embarrassed; nervous, to say the least. pink adorned sehun’s cheeks, but pure, burning red had taken place in baekhyun’s whole face. a cute contrast to his pitch black hair, but a comment that sehun decided to keep to himself. “you don’t have to say anything.”

“i..” baekhyun’s breath hitched as he fixed his position a little in sehun’s lap, delicate hands curling on the hem of the taller’s shirt in need of something to hold onto. they were close, so close, and their hearts competed in a race of which could beat faster right now.

“you’re so beautiful.” sehun can’t hold himself back, loving eyes studying the other’s soft features, the pink parted lips and the eyeliner that was just slightly smudged in his left eye. baekhyun whimpers, sighs sehun’s name, blushes a little more, and sehun knows he’s lost. drowning in overflowing love, and drowning in overflowing happiness to know he was the reason behind such cute reactions caused on the shorter.

“i really like you.” sehun’s voice is a mere whisper carried by the wind and sounding like a melody in baekhyun’s ears, to which the shorter makes another little shy noise in the back of his throat that almost drives sehun mad over just how adorable his crush managed to be. a shy baekhyun is a rare sight, but one sehun is loving nevertheless.
inwardly deciding to cut baekhyun out of his misery in that inner battle of word choices he was clearly having, sehun’s hand make its way to curl around the back to baekhyun’s neck, pulling their heads closer and pressing their lips in the kiss he had been longing for ever since middle school. baekhyun is shy as he returns it, sighing into sehun’s lips and sehun wonders if it could be possible to love him even more.

it’s short but loving, quick but endearing and it leaves both their cheeks rivaling the colour of snow white’s apple. baekhyun is the one breaking the kiss, merely to move his head, lips lingering over sehun’s skin and sending tingling shivers down his spine, lips finding sehun’s ear to whisper, “i really like you, too.”

they hug tightly and are only brought back to reality the moment jongin and kyungsoo start clapping enthusiastically.

6. ages twenty & twenty-one

“and so i said, like- if you want it, go get it yourself!”

the table burst into laughter, baekhyun’s and jongin’s being the loudest as usual. a nice evening was being spent at a cozy café, with baekhyun obviously stealing spotlight by telling the dumbest stories in which everyone knew 60% was bull, yet found it funny nevertheless.

“you seriously are the worst, baekhyun.” kyungsoo shook his head between his laughter, giving a small push to his poor excuse of a best friend sitting beside him.

“i know, i know. i love myself.” baekhyun replies before breaking into another fit of laughter, leaning back against his chair with the widest smile. his gaze found his boyfriend’s, sitting in front of him, and they exchanged the purest of smiles.
“well, that makes us two.” sehun replies with the cheesiest of smiles that has jongin fake gagging by his side, giving him a push rougher than kyungsoo’s and mumbling something like ‘sehun, your gay is showing’.

(as if jongin were any better with kyungsoo himself, but those are details. details he’d like to omit and maintain his cool image, at least as of now.)

“yes, well, anyway- i have something important to say. or- well, ask.” sehun proudly announces, tapping the table a little to get both kyungsoo’s and baekhyun’s attention. he looks excited, eager even,  so much that the hint of nervousness and the way his hands shake go unnoticed by his boyfriend.

“well, go on.” kyungsoo’s brows raise high, exchanging a knowing smile with jongin. only one person in that table didn’t know what was going to happen.

that person was baekhyun.

sehun clears his throat almost comically so, sitting straight as he raises his chin with an oh so important look. he’s attempting to keep things serious, but he hardly manages to bite back his smile. “so- after a lot of pondering, since as you all know, i’m a very romantic person, i’ve decided that this would be the perfect occasion. after all, if we want clichés, there are lots of movies to choose from, right?”

he was blabbering, he knew he was – but he had to fight back the nervousness.

his gaze found baekhyun’s, who was eyeing him in curiosity, expecting.

“seventeen years ago, i met the most beautiful, and also meanest little boy i could ever meet.” sehun’s smile grew, gaze fixed on his boyfriend. “it took me a long while, and also getting rid of my glasses, to be noticed by said mean little boy. it took me a longer while and years of shy smiles and awkward touches to gather up courage and confess, and turn that mean little boy into my precious little boyfriend.”

(there’s an ‘awww’ in the background coming from jongin, to which sehun quickly mumbles something along the lines of ‘shut up’.)

“well.. after so much time together, it didn’t take me a lot to think over this. in fact, it’s something i’ve always decided i wanted to do, something i’ve always desired for an wished to become true one day. but something that is difficult to ask, something scary and so exciting that only makes me think ‘damn, sehun, what are you doing?’.” he laughs at his own words nervously so, hand reaching for his pocket. from there he removes a small dark box, and baekhyun gasps so loudly it almost scares kyungsoo. his hands almost slap themselves against his mouth, eyes wide and terrifyingly so staring at the box.

“byun baekhyun,” sehun clears his throat, hands shaking noticeably by now as he opens the dark object, showing the most beautiful, shiny wedding ring, “will you marry me?”

baekhyun broke into such a fit of a mix between freaking out, screaming and crying ‘oh my god, oh my god, oh my god’ several times like a broken record, that he almost forgot to reply until kyungsoo laughed and yelled at him to ‘answer the poor boy’.

he never said yes so fast (and so loud) in his life until now.

7. ages twenty-one & twenty-two

“sehun,”

a gasp lost in the darkness of the room filled with heavy love and tender sweetness. their hands found each other, lacing together as baekhyun found himself seated on sehun’s lap once again, adorning only the other’s white dress shirt while he arched his back, the inner sides of his bare legs against the soft fabric of sehun’s pajama pants. they exchanged sloppy kisses and messy words in a room that felt too hot for them, too overwhelming with the way their hearts beat fast and their love was undeniable. baekhyun leans in, lips finding sehun’s to kiss once more, to claim as his own and taint them so they will be forever his. “i love you, i love you so much.”

sehun is smiling into the kiss and baekhyun loves it, body pressing against the warmth of sehun’s bare chest. the next couple of minutes are filled with nothing but tiny kissing noises and an exchange of soft sighs and baekhyun loves it, loves all of this, loves all of sehun.

“i can’t believe we’re married.” the shorter ends up confessing against a kiss and successfully ruining it as he laughs against sehun’s lips, a small cute laughter that has sehun’s smile widening.

“why not?” sehun leans back to smile at his adorable husband, hand moving to affectionately tuck some of baekhyun’s dark strands behind his ear. it was funny, how he asked such thing – when not even he himself could believe they shared golden rings and vows of never-ending love.

“i don’t know, it’s just.. it’s out of this world.” baekhyun says between his soft chuckling, moving his face to tickle the sensitive skin of sehun’s neck with the tip of his nose. “and now we have a house together, and a life together, and we’re a family..”

sehun’s smile is so wide he’s glad baekhyun isn’t looking at him right now, wrapping his arms around his husband’s small frame as their bodies hug closer. “i know. and to think i married my kindergarten bully.”

baekhyun laughs louder at this, leaning back to eye sehun with the most amused expression as he lightly pushes the other’s shoulder. “i think we agreed to not bring that up again..!”

“okay, but you have to admit you were mean.” sehun laughs along, index finger tapping the tip of baekhyun’s nose that has him doing that little scrunch up thing he does, little habit that reminds sehun of the fluffiest of bunnies.

“but i already said i’m sorry.” baekhyun smiles, leaning in to steal another kiss from his husband. and another. and another. “and thank you. thank you for always watching over me, even though i was kind of a little .”
the choice of words has sehun being the one laughing against baekhyun’s lips this time, smile growing wide and arms wrapping better around the other. “i’ll always do that. i’ll always protect you, no matter what.”

baekhyun smiles the most beautiful smile and leans their foreheads together, deciding that yes, sehun is everything he could wish for. “and i’ll always love you, no matter what.”

8. ages twenty-three & twenty-four

“for two years, you kept your promise.”

baekhyun’s voice was shaky, cracking at the end. it was silent.

“for two years you loved me and protected me like you said you would. for nineteen years you watched over me, even despite the way i treated you in our younger years. i was mean, and i know i hurt you several times – but i did like you. i regret it more than everything this day, but i.. i hope you can forgive my childish self.”

another pause. baekhyun over his lower lip and presses them in a thin line, searching for words. holding back the tears.

“when.. when you confessed to me in college, i thought you were kidding. i thought you were pranking me. because- because, why would you like me in the first place?” a dry chuckle escapes past his lips, one used to cover up the sob choked back in his throat. “i treated you poorly and i knew you still had the scars, yet you took me into your arms like a child and lulled me to peace, reassuring me that the past was in the past. that you had always known i cared about you, and that you forgave every time i hurt you, every time i left you behind and every time i was the reason behind your tears. i didn’t know what to do. so i cried on you, and instead of treating me the way i treated you, you held me close and kissed my tears away.”

(another sob. baekhyun lowers his head and brings his hands to carelessly wipe the tears away. there’s a comforting hand in his shoulder, probably kyungsoo’s, but baekhyun shakes his head. he wants to continue. it’s the least he can do.)

he held his chin up. he had to be strong.

for sehun.

“last week a car accident took the person i love most away from me, stripping me of my protection and leaving me alone. maybe it’s karma- i don’t know. maybe heaven wanted one of their purest angels back. and now i.. i am forced to return to an empty house once filled with laughter and the sweet scent of your cooking. i’m forced to fall asleep in a cold bed that’s too big for me alone, where once it was warm and felt like home. and i’m forced to convince myself that i won’t ever hear your soft laughter again, or see your beautiful smile first thing in the morning, or see the way your eyes would shine when we exchanged promises of eternal love.”

(it hurt. it hurt. it hurt.)

(it hurt and he had to be strong.)

(it hurt and he wanted sehun by his side, pulling him into his arms once again and kissing the tears away, kissing the pain away, reassuring him everything was going to be alright and that he was alright, they were alright. but sehun wasn't there anymore.)

“but i know,” baekhyun continues, attempting a smile through the tears as his gaze rests on the tombstone adorning letters that formed the name of his lover. “i know you’ll remain by my side, and i know you’ll keep watching over me like you always have, ever since kindergarten. and i am thankful for you, i am thankful for your love and i am thankful for your protection.”

“i loved you the first time, i loved you the second time – and i’ll love you forever, my dear sehun.”