word count: 2k

                Let me in

                The vibration of the cell phone wakes Yoongi up from his dull sleep. He feels that his hair is a total mess and his mind is in a groggy daze. It’s all the least of his concern right now. Slowly, his stretches his arm over to his night stand to grab the phone that’s bothering him so. With eyes barely open, Yoongi looks at the brightness of his phone screen. New message. He stares for a long while, trying to process who’s waking him up almost at midnight. Hoseok, he realizes after opening the message. Three simple words stare back at him from the bright little phone screen. Yoongi sighs, draping his arm across his phone to surround himself in darkness for just a bit longer. Sleep gnaws at his body, begging him to fall back into unconsciousness but his mind and phone tell him that Hoseok is outside. Of course Hoseok rules out as being more important

                For a few seconds, he lies still in bed like that, taking short, shallow breaths with closed eyes. From his back, he rolls over to his stomach and from there, he slides out of bed. As he passes, he grabs the jacket hanging on his door and slips his arms into the appropriate holes. The cell phone, he drops into his jacket’s pocket.

                Please

                The cell phone vibrates in his pocket almost immediately after putting it there. His muted footsteps come to a halt. Yoongi sighs, pulling it back out. New message, the phone tells him in its plain text. He clicks on it and reads it. A one word text, Yoongi thinks to himself. The desperation from Hoseok Yoongi can almost feel through the word. The phone goes right back into his pocket. If Yoongi were even the slightest surprised, then his tiredness completely engulfs it. He shuffles out of his room, wrapping his jacket tighter around him. Small amounts of light filter throughout the house while Yoongi makes his way down the short hallway, easily making it past his parents’ room. They sleep like logs, Yoongi has realized, but it really doesn’t matter since he’s found he’s as quiet as a mouse anyways. The perfectly carved wooden banisters leave their shadowy prints elegantly across his pale white skin. Yoongi stops to look, interested with all of the different ways patterns can form against the pallid canvas of his skin. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, taking on the stairs slowly.

                My arm hurts

                Yoongi’s phone vibrates again in his pocket, breaking the silence. He takes the one hand out of his pocket with the phone. New message. His bare foot touches the cold floor at the bottom of the stairs the moment he opens the message. The same feeling floods his entire body, an ice cold feeling that freezes inside of his veins. Disregarding that fact, he still shuffles towards the door. He looks at the door as he slides on his shoes.

                Yoongi

                “Hey.” Yoongi whispers as he stands in the doorway.

                The door is now open, revealing the guests he’s been waiting for. He knows the message is from Hoseok; Yoongi can see the phone in the other boy’s hand. Hoseok looks up and the tiniest smile stretches across his face, only to fall again into nothing.

                Yoongi’s eyes look Hoseok up and down, dragging across the boy’s body curiously. He notices how Hoseok awkwardly tries to hide his arm behind his back. With tired eyes, Yoongi looks away. His eyes avoid Hoseok’s as he steps away from the entrance to let Hoseok inside. No words fill the air in between them while Hoseok slides past Yoongi easily, stopping halfway. Hoseok keeps his gaze glued to the floor but Yoongi isn’t sure what he’s looking at anymore. He tries to look past the smooth, open skin of Hoseok’s sloping neck. He tries to avoid it because, after all, Yoongi is too tired to be affected by the rest of the world. At least, that’s what he tries to tell himself.

                “I’m sorry it took so long,” Yoongi says under his breath, just loud enough for Hoseok to hear. His eyes dangerously dart to glance at Hoseok and his expression. Standing there, next to Hoseok like that, Yoongi feels small, weak, and vulnerable but for reasons unknown. Hoseok is very, very close and Yoongi could wrap his arms around the other boy’s shoulders and just hold him. He could fall back asleep that easily, if Hoseok were in his arms.

                “I’m sorry I woke you up,” Hoseok apologizes. The boy keeps his gaze forward, but Yoongi keeps on looking at him as if he’s waiting for something to happen. Yoongi feels on edge, anxious, and tired all at the same time. The feeling bubbles and churns in his stomach. The tips of his fingers start to grow cold. He opens his mouth to croak out Hoseok’s name again, but then the nervousness is gone.

                Hoseok slips pasts Yoongi, putting a few feet’s more distance in between them. Yoongi feels cold all over again. His gaze falls right back to the floor where he feels it now belongs. A chilly gust of wind carries itself into the house, reminding Yoongi that the door is still open. It feels as if he’s moving through molasses as he closes the door back. He turns around again to face Hoseok, only to be surprised by the warmth that Hoseok gives off. Yoongi freezes in Hoseok’s embrace, surprised at everything that hits him at once. Tears prick at his eyes but don’t have the nerve to fall. To push them back down, he closes his eyes and puts his head into Hoseok’s chest to breathe him in.

                “I forgot to say hi.”

                Hoseok, tell me why your arm hurts.

                “Don’t turn the light on,” Hoseok says when Yoongi closes the door behind him.

                Hoseok, did you hurt yourself again?

                “Okay,” Yoongi says, “I wasn’t going to anyways, but okay.”

                You didn’t, did you?

                Hoseok laughs an airy breath. In the complete darkness, Yoongi can sense the closeness of Hoseok, Hoseok’s warmth. He wants more of it, Yoongi does. All of his senses go on high alert as Hoseok takes another daring step closer. At least in the darkness, Hoseok can’t see how desperate Yoongi probably looks right now.

                Hoseok’s hand reaches out, Yoongi senses it. He closes his eyes just as the other boy’s chilled fingers make contact with his heated skin. Light, feathery touches ripple across Yoongi’s skin, as if Hoseok is just testing his boundaries – as if he were dipping his toes into the pool instead of diving right in. His hand trails down, leaving a fluttering feeling in the deepest pit of Yoongi’s stomach. Down his cheek, the outline of his jaw, down his short neck, Hoseok leaves his path of the lightest touches. Both of Hoseok’s hands go up to hover above Yoongi’s neck. Moments of indecisiveness fill the air between the two. Hoseok’s fingers twitch feeling Yoongi’s warm skin under his cold fingers. He breathes out a soft sigh and his hands fall to Yoongi’s shoulders. Yoongi gasps quietly in surprise, at which Hoseok giggles softly. He takes a step closer to Yoongi, delicately putting his lips right at Yoongi’s ear.

                “Your jacket,” Hoseok murmurs. Yoongi open his eyes, seeing the slight glimmer of Hoseok’s eyes as he pulls away. He feels himself nodding dumbly, mouth slightly hanging agape but he closes it quickly. Hoseok goes back to being gentle as he helps Yoongi to slide out of his jacket. Hoseok’s hands drop to Yoongi’s.

                “Your arm,” Yoongi states in a low voice. He blinks slowly, mouth falling open a bit while he tries to catch Hoseok’s fluttering eyes in the darkness. Hoseok stares into Yoongi’s eyes, almost drowning in them. He finds himself starting to become helpless in Yoongi’s presence. Suddenly, a lump begins to grow in his throat and he can’t talk anymore. He looks down at Yoongi’s hand and the other boy’s eyes follow. With Yoongi’s hand in Hoseok’s, he places Yoongi’s thin, warmed fingers onto his arm.

                Yoongi blinks as he returns the same fluttering touches that Hoseok gave to him. The only difference is that Hoseok’s arm is full of linear welts. None of them feel to be bleeding, but Hoseok hisses as Yoongi gently runs his fingers across the skin.

                “What did you…do?“ Yoongi whispers.

                Hoseok pulls his arm away, “I didn’t…I didn’t cut myself. Not on my arm, well, or anywhere. It’s nothing; I just got mad? Is that okay?”

                Yoongi looks at Hoseok’s silhouette in the darkness of the room. His warmed hands slowly go to either side of Hoseok’s face as he pulls himself closer. Hoseok breathes in when Yoongi is closer to him.

                “It’s okay.”

                Yoongi nods, pressing his forehead to Hoseok’s. He repeats himself over and over again; it’s okay, it’s okay. A path of tears begins trailing down Hoseok’s cheeks. Yoongi looks into Hoseok’s eyes for a moment before stealing his lips in a chaste kiss. Hoseok responds to it, gently pressing his lips into Yoongi’s. It’s short and sweet and Yoongi pulls away to swipe Hoseok’s tears away with his thumbs. Hoseok grabs at Yoongi’s hands.

                “It’s okay.”

                Hoseok, I want to take your shirt off.

                Yoongi’s slim fingers play at the hem of Hoseok’s tank top.

                Your skin is so cold, Hoseok.

                Hoseok shivers slightly at the coldness of being shirtless. Yoongi tosses the shirt to the side of his bed before his arms go up to pull Hoseok down into an embrace. Hoseok closes his eyes as Yoongi’s hand drag down his bare skin.

                Kiss me again.

                Their foreheads are pressed together, Hoseok’s fingers playing at Yoongi’s cheeks. Their lips find each other’s again, a longer kiss than the one before. Together, the two of them move silently.

                Do you want to stop?

                Yoongi blinks up at Hoseok as he pulls back from him. Hoseok crawls off of Yoongi and lies beside him, on his side. Still on his back, Yoongi turns his head to the side to look at Hoseok. The two of them lay still for some time, only the sounds of their breathing filling the air.

                “Yoongi, I don’t,” Hoseok begins quietly, “I don’t want too much of you.”

                “Okay,” Yoongi says after a bit, turning over. He moves closer to Hoseok, placing a kiss to the corner of his lips. Hoseok lets out a sigh. Yoongi can hear the frustration Hoseok lets out in his sigh. He hears the sadness that Hoseok has bottled up for so long.

                “If you’re going to cry, then just cry,” Yoongi says tenderly.

                “I don’t like crying,” Hoseok says, just as his voice cracks.

                “You just cried.”

                “And I didn’t like it.”

                Yoongi goes silent. It stays that way as Yoongi begins to grow more tired.

                “Hoseok.”

                Hoseok hums in response.

                “Thank you.”

                Yoongi pulls up the blankets over the two of them, making sure Hoseok’s half exposed body is properly covered. He wiggles his way over to Hoseok and drapes his arm over his waist. Hoseok places another chaste kiss to Yoongi’s forehead. He pulls Yoongi’s head closer to his bare chest, wanting the boy to feel his heart beat.

                “I don’t like sleeping alone,” Yoongi croaks after relishing in the silence for awhile. His eyes are closed, head pressed into Hoseok’s warming chest. Yoongi’s mind drifts between sleep and consciousness, trying to decide if he’d rather stay awake and listen to Hoseok breathe or just fall asleep. Maybe he just wants to know how it feels to be held like this for awhile longer.

                “Me either,” Hoseok says, “But at least we can sleep alone together.”

                Yoongi hears Hoseok sniff, but doesn’t feel his hands move to wipe the tears away. Yoongi lets out a quiet sigh and closes his eyes.