During the week after the funeral, Chanyeol never opened his blinds, to which Soeun was disappointed about. Maybe it was because he wasn’t as used to death as she was. Though Chanyeol was out of his normal routine, Cha Soeun wasn’t really herself, per se, either. Every morning, she woke up at 6 o’clock and opened her blinds with a lighter heart. She had breakfast, and then went straight to work by 7 AM. From time to time, she went to the living room and looked out the window to check on Chanyeol – who knows, maybe he might have opened the blinds.

            When Soeun ate lunch, she stared out to Chanyeol’s window, hoping that maybe he was eating, too. After lunch, she went back to work, and stopped working at 7 PM, when it was time to have dinner. Since Chanyeol’s blinds were never opened, she just went straight to reading or painting.

            For a week, Chanyeol sulked. He looked at past photos of him and Joohyun, and watched old clips. He reminisced about all the good times they had, and cherished the rare bad times they had. He still couldn’t believe that someone so perfect for him left so suddenly. There were times when he broke down to his knees and cried for hours, but then he would fall asleep because crying drained so much energy. When he woke up, his eyes were always red and puffy, and his face was always swollen. However, one day after waking up from a slumber he fell into after an hour of streaming tears, he went to the bathroom and what he saw in the mirror scared him. Chanyeol didn’t look like himself; though his face and eyes were completely swollen, you could tell he’d lost a lot of weight. His face was drastically thinner, and the bags under his eyes seemed to have no end. Thinking of Joohyun for the entirety of this past week had taken its toll on him.

            Chanyeol knew he had to change his ways of moping. There were times he took calls from Joohyun’s parents and talked about how he was coping with his loss, and obviously – he told them he was coping with it fine. He had to lie. He couldn’t tell them he wasn’t okay. Chanyeol knew they weren’t okay, so how could he put even more of a burden on the people he loved as if they were his own parents? Today, of all days, the first time he feared himself, was the day to spread Joohyun’s ashes. It was time – when he spread her ashes, he would let her go, and although he was letting her go, it didn’t mean that he would stop loving her, but he would stop wishing for her to come back. Wishing for her to come back would only make things worse for him. It was about 6 o’clock in the morning that Chanyeol had woken up, and today would be the first time he opened his blinds in a week.

Waking up to the quiet sound of the alarm clock, Cha Soeun turned it off, and went straight to the living room like she did every morning, and opened the blinds. Cha Soeun froze in her the midst of her movements when she saw someone across the way doing the exact same thing. It was Chanyeol, but he looked different. He looked tragically haggard, and this devastated her.

As Chanyeol opened the blinds all the way, what he saw next took him by complete surprise. Directly across from him, he saw Cha Soeun, opening her blinds, at the same time, though she was still. She was looking straight at him, and he was looking straight at her. To Chanyeol, it was a pleasant surprise. Almost right after he realized it was Cha Soeun, he waved to her manically, and unconsciously smiled.

Cha Soeun didn’t know what to do. This was the first time he had waved to her like that. This was the first time he had even noticed her across the way like this. Without further ado, she smiled and waved back.

“How interesting!” Chanyeol exclaimed to himself.

“What?” Cha Soeun asked herself. She saw Chanyeol say something, but she couldn’t make out the words he said.

When Chanyeol picked up that she asked “what”, although he was talking to himself earlier, she probably thought that he was talking to her. Instead of saying anything, he just waved his hands and shook his head, meaning he didn’t say anything at all. Soeun just nodded her head in understanding and smiled back at him.

For Chanyeol, it was weird when he realized he was smiling. It was the first time he smiled in a week and didn’t cry. He oddly felt relieved after seeing Cha Soeun across the way. She was the first person he had seen for a week, and he was also oddly satisfied that she was.

That day, Cha Soeun stayed home and contemplated what she could do to make Chanyeol feel better. Maybe if she somehow bumped into him today, she could strike up a conversation. Chanyeol probably didn’t take her seriously when she said for him to look for her when he was down, and it was apparent.

Chanyeol took a shower and though his swelling went down, you could still tell that he had clearly been grieving. He wore a different black suit and for the first time, felt refreshed that week. A week was a long time when you stayed inside the house and barely saw any sunlight. He felt numb in the dark. He didn’t feel hunger, nor did he feel tired. The only thing he felt for a week was sadness, longing, and lonely. Today was different – he saw Cha Soeun, he took a shower, and he finally felt like he was ready to face the end of Joohyun.

It was almost 8 PM when Chanyeol got back from the gravesite, and he was completely drained. The drive to the graveyard was two hours, and he had stayed there for a good three hours, before he had a meal with Joohyun’s parents, and his own. Afterward, he went back to the grave, and just sat there, getting his closure. It was hard for him to smile without her there next to him, so he didn’t. He held back every tear he had left for her, and just like that was how he began to let go.

The hardest part about letting Joohyun go was the fact that Chanyeol felt he had only one regret, and that regret was that he didn’t ask her to marry him earlier. Perhaps if he did so sooner, she could have been there next to him. After staying there for another couple hours, he drove back home, taking another two hours.

While Chanyeol was away, Cha Soeun painted again. From the first day Cha Soeun saw Park Chanyeol, he was the only person she could paint. Her mind never drifted from the thought of Chanyeol, and the only other person she saw him with was Joohyun. She never thought that the chance for her and Chanyeol would ever come, but here she was, getting closer and closer Chanyeol. The only question was: how would she approach him?

As Cha Soeun waited for her painting to dry, she watched outside the window for Chanyeol’s car. He had been gone all day, and this was the first time he had left his apartment in a week. Though she didn’t see him once this entire week, she was at least glad she saw him that morning, even though he looked painfully different. Maybe she would take out her trash tomorrow. Over her years of observation, Chanyeol always took out the trash on Sunday mornings. Hopefully he’d take his trash out tomorrow, so then maybe, Soeun would get an opportunity to talk to him for the first time in a week.

The next morning, Chanyeol decided he’d return to his original routine, though he would have to do everything alone. He wasn’t used to doing anything alone because Joohyun was always right beside him, but after the release of Joohyun’s ashes, it was time that he start to pick himself back up, though he’d have to do even that alone. It hurt to think that he’d be alone for the first time in three years, but he had to start some time. Maybe he would start by taking the trash out on Sunday mornings again, like he did before. That was a start, even though he knew that when he got back inside, the house would be empty, just like how he felt now.

Soeun got up that morning, and readied herself for the day. She had already gotten the trash bags ready to take out in the morning the night before, so she could easily slip out of the house. That morning, when she opened her blinds, she was surprised to see Chanyeol’s blinds also opened. Maybe he was getting back to his usual self.

It was almost 9 o’clock, which was the time that Chanyeol always brought out his trash, so without hesitation, she slipped out of her house slippers, and into a pair of flats. Without further ado, she picked up two trash bags – one from her kitchen trashcan, and one from the bathroom. Though they weren’t full, she couldn’t miss this opportunity to get a glimpse of Chanyeol, and maybe even get to talk to him.

Cha Soeun made her way outside and walked to the community trash bin with no sign of Chanyeol anywhere. There were a several people walking opposite directions, and a couple walking into her apartment building, but no sign of Chanyeol. It was on her way back that she made eye contact with Chanyeol walking towards her with a trash bag in hand. Soeun’s heart suddenly felt more light-hearted and she began to feel butterflies in her stomach.

“Hi, Soeun.” Chanyeol smiled and waved to her with his free hand.

“Hi, Chanyeol!” Soeun said perkily. “How’re you holding up?”

“Better now, thanks for asking.” He answered a bit unenergetically.

“You don’t sound better.” She pointed out.

“You caught me.” He chuckled half-heartedly. “I’m just…trying to get back into the hang of things, you know?”

“I do know.” Soeun nodded as she looked at Chanyeol with total sincerity.

“I’m sorry, I keep forgetting. You knew Joohyun, too.” Chanyeol threw his trash into the trash bin and then combed his hair back with his fingers. “I act like I’m the only one who’s hurting, but –“

“Chanyeol.” Soeun stopped Chanyeol. She could sense that he was probably about to break down into tears again. He wasn’t reaching out to her, per se, but she knew that this was a moment where she could do her best to bring him back up. “Let’s go for a walk, shall we?”

Chanyeol silently followed Soeun as she seemed to wander around the neighborhood. After about fifteen minutes of walking, Soeun suddenly slowed down and asked, “How do you feel?”

“Tired.” Chanyeol answered honestly.

“But not sad, right?” Soeun grinned.

“Right…” Chanyeol smiled, realizing that he really didn’t feel sad, rather, just tired from walking.

“I’m glad you feel better.” Soeun smiled as she made her way to a swing set, and claiming a swing for herself.

“Thank you, Soeun.” Chanyeol said as he sat in the swing next to hers.

“Didn’t I tell you to look for me when you felt down?” Soeun lightly scolded.

“You’re right, but this…”

“Is something you have to overcome yourself – is that what you think? Soeun cut Chanyeol off.

“Precisely…” Chanyeol looked at Soeun amused.

“That’s what I thought, too – when my mom died, but luckily, my aunt was silently there for me.” Soeun said as she pumped her legs to go higher.

“Huh.” Chanyeol thought for a moment. It felt good to know that someone was there for you, even though they didn’t say anything, just like what Soeun had done. She didn’t say anything, but she had somehow changed the way Chanyeol was feeling in a matter of fifteen minutes. Even now, when there was silence between them, Chanyeol felt like he had a backbone. He didn’t feel so alone for the first time in two weeks.

“So how are you liking this neighborhood so far?” Chanyeol asked, honestly curious about Soeun’s opinion.

“It’s good – it’s quiet, and the neighbors are lovely.” Soeun told half the truth. It was good because that was where she first saw Chanyeol. It really was quiet – on her floor, anyway. The only neighbor she was talking about being lovely was Chanyeol, who lived in the building across from her.

“That’s good. That’s exactly why Joohyun and I moved here in the first place.” Chanyeol reminisced when he heard Soeun’s response.

“I see.” Soeun said, trying to understand Chanyeol. Although Soeun had never talked to Chanyeol before Joohyun’s funeral, she already felt so close to him.

“What do you do for a living?” Chanyeol asked.

“I…how do I put this – I basically analyze the stock market, look for patterns, you know – and my company sells it to businesses.” Soeun explained. “What do you do?”

            “I own a coffee shop!” Chanyeol exclaimed excitedly, but immediately put on a solemn expression when he realized.

            “What’s wrong?” Soeun asked.

            “I haven’t been there since I heard the news about Joohyun.” Chanyeol looked down.

            “Are you going tomorrow?” Chanyeol thought about Soeun’s question. Honestly, he didn’t know if he was going to go in tomorrow. He did say that he was going to try to get back into the loop, but how soon was too soon?

            “Uh – I don’t know.” Chanyeol scratched his head.

            “Why not?” Soeun urged, wanting to know Chanyeol’s inner thoughts.

            “Wouldn’t it be too soon?” Chanyeol asked her.

            “If you keep thinking that way, when will it be the right time?”

            “You’re killing me, Soeun.” Chanyeol threw his head back and laughed exasperatedly.

            “How?” Soeun looked at him, confused by his words.

            “Why do you always have to be right? Can’t you be wrong for once?”

            “If I was wrong, would that make you right?” Soeun teased and laughed along with Chanyeol who laughed even harder, trying to process her question.

            “It’s getting late – should we head back now?” Chanyeol asked after their laughter died down.

            “Sure.” Though Soeun didn’t want to leave yet, she agreed, anyway. She still wanted to spend time with Chanyeol. She still wanted to learn more about Chanyeol. She still wanted to know more about Chanyeol’s inner thoughts.

            They walked home together in silence, the same way they did when they first made their way to the park. Along the way, they saw couples, a family walking their dog, and it was blissful. The night air seemed cooler than it was before, and Chanyeol could smell autumn coming in the air.

            “Thanks for walking me back, Chanyeol.” Soeun said as they stopped in front of the glass doors to her apartment building.

            “It’s the least I could do. Thanks for knocking some sense into me.” Chanyeol chuckled.

            Soeun walked through the glass doors, but turned around and watched Chanyeol walk away from her. Although she already felt the longing for him, it was okay. She’d see him tomorrow.

            That night, Soeun went to sleep with such a light heart, she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

            The next morning when Soeun woke up, she woke up with a smile. She immediately went to her window, and opened up the blinds, only to see that Chanyeol was opening up his blinds too. Chanyeol waved to her, amused that they opened their blinds at the same exact time again. What a coincidence. Soeun waved back excitedly, but quickly got breakfast ready for herself, so she could meet Chanyeol outside, when he left for work.

            Soeun ate quickly and threw everything in the sink, and as fast as she could, washed her dishes. She couldn’t stand it when there was a mess or something that wasn’t organized – an acute case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

            Right as Soeun came out of the elevator, Chanyeol was walking out of his building. Soeun quickened her pace so she could meet Chanyeol outside.

            “Chanyeol!” She waved and called out.

            “Oh – hi, Soeun.” He smiled and waved back.

            “Are you…headed to work?” Soeun asked while squinting her eyes.

            “As a matter of fact, I am.” Chanyeol smiled and put both his hands in his pocket like a young boy. It was the most adorable thing Soeun had ever seen Chanyeol do.

            “Good! That’s good.” Soeun excitedly pointed out.

            “Where are you off to?” Chanyeol asked out of honest curiosity.

            “Nowhere.” Soeun shrugged before realizing that if she had just come outside for nothing, would it not be odd? “I’m just going for a walk.”

            “I’ll take a walk with you.” Chanyeol smiled.

            “A-are you sure? Won’t you be late?” Soeun asked, taken aback, and surprised by his sudden insistence.

            “No. Even if I am, it’ll be fine. I haven’t been to work in the last two weeks, so what’s the point now? Better late than never, right?” Chanyeol reasoned.

            “You’re right, I suppose…” Soeun admitted.

            “Wow! I’m right for the first time with you.” Chanyeol laughed.

            Soeun and Chanyeol took the same route they did to the park as they did the night before.

            “You know what’s so interesting?” Chanyeol suddenly asked.

            “What?”

            “You live exactly right across from me.” Chanyeol said.

            “I know, right? I was surprised when you saw me.” Soeun said without thinking.

            “I know! I was surprised when I saw you, too!” Chanyeol obliviously agreed. “Do you live on the sixth floor, too?”

            “Yep.” Soeun answered, in a good mood that Chanyeol and her were finding more and more in common.

            They walked back to the park and sat in the swings they did before. They stayed there for half an hour or so before Chanyeol walked Soeun back to her apartment, then went to his café that was in walking distance.

            It was like that for a week. Every morning when Soeun and Chanyeol woke up and opened the blinds at the same time, they waved to each other. Every morning after they both ate breakfast, they both went on a walk to the park they first walked to. Chanyeol told Soeun about his café, how popular it was, and his hopes and dreams for it. Soeun talked her paintings and her tedious work.

            Another week like that passed, and Chanyeol and Soeun had got pretty close. Chanyeol finally thought he’d introduce her to his café, though it wasn’t a secret.

            “Did you want to take a walk to my café instead of the park today?” Chanyeol suggested when he met up with Soeun in the middle of their buildings, as they did for the past couple weeks. Perhaps Chanyeol only felt attached to Soeun because she was literally so close all the time, and she was right there with him whenever he looked out the window. Perhaps he only got close to her because he didn’t feel so lonely when he knew that someone was there.

            “Today? Right now?” Soeun asked, surprised.

            “Yeah! Right now. Walk me to work?” He asked.

            “If that’s okay…” Soeun hesitantly agreed.

            They both walked to his café in smiles – especially Soeun. This was the first time Soeun was going to his café with him, and not on her own. This was the first time that she was going to his café invited. This was the first time she was going to his café with him instead of following him.

| | | | | | | | | |

            Cha Soeun woke up that morning and ate breakfast. Instead of going to work, because curiosity got the best of her, she discreetly followed Chanyeol to his workplace. She didn’t know where he worked, of course, but she was curious. Soeun followed Chanyeol to a café where he walked inside confidently and told the workers what to do. Was he, perhaps, the boss? The manager, maybe? No, because the one he was talking to was the manager.

            As Soeun stood there, it seemed she lost track of time, because before she knew it, Joohyun walked to the café and smiled to her. What was Joohyun doing there?

            “Chanyeol-ie!” Joohyun called out and held up Tupperware wrapped in a pink cloth.

            “You brought me lunch?” Chanyeol asked, with a touched expression.

            “Yes, honey!” Joohyun smiled.

            “Aww, thank you!” Chanyeol looked at Joohyun excitedly and went to hug her.

            They ate lunch together in a cutesy way and Soeun watched them, longing to be the one to feed Chanyeol the piece of egg roll. How could Soeun make it so she could be the one to feed Chanyeol, and he would smile with a full mouth?