SEPTEMBER’ 22 2014

Sitting in a middle of the black room, his eyes glistened staring at those beautiful views in his television screen. The surrounding feels empty. No sound, no touch, no light only feelings. Those bunny eyes he always stare, those sharp nose that smell only his scent and those soft lips that once touch his, yet he missed it so badly. Grabbing his MP3 player, he played on the song. Eyes… Nose… Lips… whenever he listened to the song, her beautiful face always comes into his mind. The lyrics meant so much to him.

DON’T BE SORRY

THAT MAKES ME MORE PITIFUL,

WITH YOUR PRETTY RED LIPS,

PLEASE HURRY, KILL ME AND GO,

I’M ALL RIGHT,

LOOK AT ME ONE LAST TIME,

SMILE LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG

SO WHEN I MISS YOU I CAN REMEMBER,

SO I CAN DRAW YOUR FACE IN MY MIND.

August 31^st

That’s the date. The day they broke apart from their visual relationship yet the feelings is real. The day they confessed to each other. The day he whispered I love you and her lips whispered I love you too. And also the day she broke their each other feelings by making them to wait until now. Yes, he does know that she also had a feeling to him like he always do. They believed in destiny but does destiny make them together?

FLASHBACK ON 31^ST AUGUST 2011

12:10

The feeling was indescribable. They both sitting in a dim restaurant staring at each other eyes. She starts to speak with a crack voice. “For 456 days, thank you so much for being a wonderful husband and taking a good care of me…” he wanted to hug and kiss her so badly and whispered ‘it’s okay to cry’ but he need to follow their agreement. They agreed to break up while smile plastered in each other faces yet they couldn’t hide their tears. Eyes already glistened with tears and he tried to blink several time hoping the tears would went away and so do her. The drink was remained untouched as it’s only acted like an antic thing at that moment.

“What time is it now?” she let out her voice again after a moment of silence. He only stared at her. Biting his lower lips to control his broken emotion. She blinked and moved her head lower to extinguish the unbearable feelings and tears that had reach the higher level in his emotion grade. “I said… what time is it?” she asked again when he acted like a broken heart’s statue. He raised his hand and observed the metal clock on his wrist. His glistened eyes glued back to hers. “What time is it?” her whispering voice makes him comes back to his sense and grabbed gently her hand. “00:15”

00:15

“It’s over”. He wanted to yelled and said “No it’s not over… it’s never over” when she almost sounds like a whisper. He wanted to carry and pull her and take her into a runaway like they always do back then when they still holding the husband and wife title. No camera, no mission, no staff, only them. With heavy hearts, he looks into her face and smiled brightly to her before grabbing and intertwined their fingers together. He sighs and tried to stand in his foot when he feels his feet shaking lightly. Trying to calm his breath, they start to walk to the restaurant’s exit door. On the way to the door, he felt her body become stiffened yet she forced herself to walk. He views her face from his side and felt a pinched in his heart when her bunny eyes immerged the feelings of sadness. He rose up their intertwined fingers that connect their body and whispered silently “Omma, congratulations… you’ve done a great work!” her face turned into a fake smile and giggled when they already reach the exit door. The sounds of peoples clapping their hands filled the empty space inside the restaurant. He stared back at her face as she tried to hide her upset face with a fake smile, yet he knew her better.

00:50

Asking her stubborn manager permission, he passed it with flying color. Standing outside her manager’s van, he heard her sobs. Waiting for 456 days, she finally fulfills his wish. Yet now it’s really painful to hear it. Her sobs becomes louder and louder. His painful heart screams like a maniac. The moment he opened the van door, she stunned. No words exchange. Only the painful looks covered their viewing on each other eyes. Flooded bunny eyes, red nose, shaking lips and messed bangs. Her current condition makes his heart filled with blood. Without breaking their glued gaze, he entered the van and within seconds the door shut silently. He started to trace his face using his palms, caressing her cheek using his finger, whipping her unstoppable tears, running slowly his fingers on her curvy face before pressing gently her soft lips. He did it with eyes staring deeply into her bunny eyes. She started to close her eyes the moment he moved his face and closed the gap between their faces. The heaven’s scream the moment their lips connected. He lingered his lips on hers in a moment before nibbled her lower lips. He heard her sighs the moment he moved his hand to holding her waist and one hand holding at the back of her head and deepened their kiss. The kiss becomes more intense when she starts to move and open for his better entrance. She moaned between their kisses while hands pressing gently his nape. Tearing their swollen lips, he started to attack her aw before moving his head to nuzzle and nibble her neck. “Urmm… Khun…” she closed her eyes while enjoyed the pleasure moment she was experience. He stopped nibbling her soft skin when his breath comes to a dangerous level. He buried his face in her hair while holding her waist and embraced her tightly. She was also having a hard time to breathe after their pleasurable moment. She let him hugs her as much as he wants and letting his scent lingered on her body. She wanted to protest the moment he loosened the hugs and stared deeply into her glistening eyes before his hand cups her ‘V’ shape face. His husky voice suddenly disturbed the silence that dominant them. “At this moment, please listen to me…” he caressed her cheek slowly and let their eyes glued together. “I need you to know that all of this moment that we have shared together was really meaningful to me. All my words and action that I did to you are sincerely from my heart. I need you to know that every day you are always in my mind and the feeling of longing of you will exist when you’re not around. The moment we kissed I felt that my heart had been fully stolen by you.” He wipes her tear when she starts to cry. He kissed her eyes and the tip of her nose before pecked gently her soft lips. “I can’t live without you Song Qian” he pecked again her lips when she starts to cry loudly. “And I really meant it” he hugs her tightly and whispered softly in her ears “I love you so much my Song Qian.” Her breathes turned uneven and he began to panic. “Vic… are you okay? Breathe…” he caressed her back when she tried to catch her breath. He caressed her back gently as she tried to gain back her breath and stared him with full of love and starts moving her hand to caressed his face. “Khun… me too… I love you too Khun…” she began to cry as she his face. “I love you so much and it’s so painful.” He wanted to soothe her so badly. When he moved his hands that holding her waist to wipe her tears, she grabbed his hand using both of her palms and brought it to her heart. “It hurts so much because I can’t pay it back…” he didn’t need any explanation for he had fully understood it. Their career was really important for them now. Being the non-Korean idol in this foreign place was very hard to them. As the leader for the new group, all her act would become the face to the group. One mistake would ruin everything. “It’s okay Vic, I’ll wait for you” he wanted to protest her when she suddenly covered his eyes with her small palms and one of her hand was holding his vulnerable hands. She began to whisper with a crack voice when he began to relax. “After this moment, pretend that nothing’s happen between us. When you open your eyes… all this were only a dream… pretend that I never comes into your life… pretend that we are only a normal friend… pretend that you never loved me more than just a friend… pretend that…” her voice cracked so much following her sobs that turned into hysterical one. “Please… pretend that you… you never… get into this van… pretend… please…pretend…” he can’t take it anymore. It is too much for him to bear alone. Without caution he grabs her hand that covered his eyes and caught her lips before kissed her deeply. She shocked for a second before closed her eyes kissed him with the same intensity. They kissed like there will no tomorrow and only stopped when they need oxygen. They kissed all night, creating memories and wished that tomorrow would never come.

END OF FLASHBACK

The song continued to play. His feelings and mind kept on confusing him.

Your eyes, nose, lips

Yes, those bunny eyes, sharp nose and soft lips of her

Your touch that used to touch me

Only him…

To the ends your fingertips, I can still feel you

Even though he already has someone by his side right now, her touch and scent still lingered on his body

Be like a burnt out flame,

Burnt and destroyed

All of our love

It hurts so much but now I’ll call you a memory

How can she ask him to pretend that it’s only a dream when it is called a memory?

He paused the television’s screen to look at her face clearly; he rose up his hands and starts to trace her face line on the air. He grabs his old pink camera that he used to store all of their memorable pictures and videos. Pressing the ON button, he gasped back in his seat. The way she smiled, the way she holds him and the way they stared to each other…

How can it become a dream…?

Love you, loved you

I must have not been enough

Maybe I could see you just once by coincidence

Every day I grow restless,

Everything about you is becoming faint

You smile back in our pictures,

Unknowing of our approaching farewell…

FLASHBACK

It was SNSD’s 7^th anniversary. Being celebrated in a huge rented mansion where all the SNSD’s close friend had attend, his presence was a must. He was there for his girlfriend most valuable day. Partying like an old school boy, his night was so perfect. Out from all the celebrities’ tension, he tried to enjoy as much as he can. His girlfriend was nowhere to be seen since they were many celebrities inside the mansion.

Sitting on the bar stool, he played with the glass of wine. Mixed it with another mixture, he drank it vigorously until his sight divided into two. The sounds of a bunch of people making jokes and laugh happily caught his ears. He recognizes the laugh. After so many years… how can her laughter was still the same…? How can he remember it so clearly? With brave heart, he turned his head to the left and there she goes… She cuts her bangs… she looks more matured and more beautiful from the last moment they met. Her big bunny eyes… nose… lips… he still remember it so clearly… and it’s still the same. His drunken state seems to disappear with the sight of her. What happen to him? After many years, he tried to avoid her, trying to fulfill her wish, endured her longing feelings yet his heart throbbing crazily again. She was sitting there in coach with her members and some other SME celebrities. His looks might disturb her when she moves her head to glue her eyes with him. She seems lost. No blinking, no movement and no breathing. He can feel that in hers…

A pair of arm sliding on his waist and hugs him from behind. He teared their gazes with the sudden action. “Khunnie, are you okay? Why are you here alone?” “Urmm… I’m fine… I was with Minho a while ago but he went to the toilet.” He quickly found an excuse. Why did he felt like this? Uncomfortable. Why? “Ahh… really? I just want to tell you that I will follow Taeng Unnie to her home for a while…” the moment she spoke to him, he steals a quick glance to the girls at the couch. She was bowing her head and the looks on her face seems upset. Why did she look like that? Did she still have a feeling to him? A pecked on his cheek returned his sense back to normal. “I’ll be right back Khunnie…” he faked a smile to her as she runs to the exit door. When he turned back his sight to the coach, she had gone…

Standing on a wide balcony his view glued to the empty badminton court that stood proudly in a middle of the large garden. Sounds of chirping birds fulfill the environment. Suddenly a figure of a woman stood stiffly on the side of the court caught his attention. “It’s her…” He whispered softly. He observed her movement until he noticed the smiled that formed in her lips while she was staring dreamily at the court. Why did she smile? Did she also remember their moment together in the badminton court like he did? Her beautiful and innocent face bewitched him to join her on the court.

He was greeted by an empty court when he finally reaches the place. Upset plus sadness develop his feelings. The sounds of birds chirping inside the garden made him wanted to take a look inside the garden. He was mesmerized by the beauty of the garden until he did not realize that he already reach the end of the garden which was the lake. His breath stop the moment his sight glued to the view. The lake was beautiful enough to make someone speechless but the sight of her stood beautifully near the lake almost makes him stop breathing. He really missed her. Her looks, her scent, her smile, her touch and everything about her. He missed it so badly.

He stood stiffly behind her looking at her cute attitude as he stepped forward. He really wanted to hug her and in a second, he finally did it. He hugs her and it feels really good. The sounds of her gasping knocked his ear. He tightened the hugs on her waist. Her whole body stiffened. He took a chance to smell her scent and try to remember it. Suddenly her voice came out. “Ni...c...h…kh...u…n...” she tried very hard to speak and it comes like a whispered. He smiled cheekily when she still recognizes his touch and his scent. She seems to come back to her scent and starts to struggle from the back hug position. The result comes worst when he tightened more his holding on his waist and pulled her closely until she sinks into his chest before shhh her in her ear. “Khun…” she tried to swallow her saliva and speaks normally. She tried to struggle once again when he didn’t make any movement. “Please… please just one more minute…” his manly voice finally greeted her hearing and the longing inside her seems to grow when she let him hugging her from behind. He was really glad that he didn’t protest his request. The moment he nuzzled her hair from behind makes she missed him so badly. “Urmm… I missed this…” She tried to escape but the holding was unbearably tight. “Khun… please don’t do this… someone will see us… she might see us…” He didn’t care the result that will attack him after this action. He only wanted her to stay inside his embrace like this. “It’s really hurts.” She tried really hard to speak after he began to nuzzle her skin on her neck. He stopped her action and tries to understand her words. After a while she continued “When the news comes out, I was so in pained. It was really hurts until I once tried to conceived a suicide.” Her voice cracking quietly as she continued “But then as I thinking deeply, I am the one who told you to pretend that it’s all only a dream…” the moment she blurted out the words dream, he tightened back his touch on her waist. “So, by the moment I tried to gain back my soul, I tried to think that all we have are only a dream…” She began to sobs in controlled voice. “I was really glad that I finally able to continue my life…but the moment I saw you… the urge for me to live has gone…please… please go…” she sobs loudly at this moment when he gently turned her around cups her face with both of his hand. He gasped with the tender looks that she gave to him. “Do you think I can forget you by only pretend that it’s only a dream? It’s not I never tried. I tried very hard. I even dated her. But after many years my hearts still throbbing hard when I saw you… what can I do? What had you done to my heart?” she smiled bitterly to him and grabbed his hands that holding her face. She then starts to touch his face and lightly from his thick eyebrows to his y lips. She smiled when he closed his eyes and enjoys her touch. “This prince is really handsome… after all this years you’ve becomes more handsome... really handsome…” her eye was teary the moment she said those words to him. He always wanted to tell him that whenever she saw his photo as a cover magazine or in the airport. He was touched by her shocking compliment and starts to close the gap between them. They burst in tears the moment their lips touched. The kissing starts to change its pace and suddenly turned into a passionate one. They were forced to tear apart when her phone suddenly ringing and she hurriedly increased the space between them. She cleared before turning around and answered the called. While she was in the phone, he pulled her and makes her stayed inside his embrace. She didn’t push him yet he let him to do so. When she hangs up her phone she tried to escape but he hugs her tightly until she began to speak. “Khun… I want to face you…” he pinned her shoulder and as she wished she face him. She holds both of his hands and it gently. “Khun… she’s really a good person… she’s my dongsaeng and my senior who I should have respect… doing this to her only makes me looks like an evil… stay… stay with her… please… avoid me and I will avoid you too…” the moment she asked him to stay with that person, she lowered her head. She scared that he might saw the tears in her eyes. “Let this moment turned into a secret… and let this moment becomes our last meeting…” with that she lifts her face and pecked softly his lips before began to walk and leaving that place. As she walks forcedly, she heard him yelled. “I will try hard song qian… but I will not promise…”

END OF FLASHBACK

YOUR BLACK EYES THAT ONLY SAW ME,

YOUR NOSE THAT HOLD THE SWEETEST BREATH

YOUR LIPS THAT WHISPERED ‘I LOVE YOU’ ‘I LOVE YOU’ ‘I … …’

Closing tightly his eyes he tried to calm. Why? Why did he acting like this? He makes her hurts. The confession that she did to him on their last meeting slapped him badly. The fact that she almost killed herself after the news comes out makes he want to kill himself. He didn’t lie about the feelings he had to his girlfriend for she always there for him and he wanted to protect her and soothe her when she has a bad time. But the feelings he has to Victoria is really different than any others feelings. He feel safe and right in her arm yet the feelings of longing and desire always there when he’s with the girl name Victoria.

Frustrated, she his phone and dismissed the messages and several miscalled due to the offline mode he state just now, he logged in his twitter and typing his tweet.

TS: Eyes, Nose, Lips – Sun

He groaned and closed his eyes tightly after setting the song into a repeat mode hoping that someday he can follow his heart so that her eyes, nose, lips, becomes his AGAIN…