Minho's gaze swept over the white walls and creme-coloured chairs lining said wall. He was sitting on one of this chairs, his leg jumping nervously up and down, his lip caught between his teeth. He hated waiting and he hated going to the doctor and he hated waiting at the doctor the most. He didn't even know what was wrong with him. A few weeks prior they had their yearly check up from the company and they had called him privately on his mobile phone. It was weird because normally they called their manager.

            "Choi-sshi, room three."

            He looked up and swallowed but followed the nurse to his room where his doctor was already waiting. Nervously he sat down, shuddered when the older man looked up from his notes.

            Minho sat down on one of the many banks in the park next to their dorm. His legs weren't strong enough to carry him any further.

            Cancer. Of all the illnesses he could have he had cancer. His hand grabbed the prescribed medicine in his pocket. He was going to die. The doctor had told him everything he needed to know. When he mentioned to tell his manager, his family and SHINee Minho had vehemently refused. He didn't want anyone to know of his condition. He didn't want them to pity him and to worry. He would work as if nothing happened and don't tell anybody as long as it was possible.

~*~

            "Minho! What are you taking so long? We are waiting!", Key's voice sounded through their dorm, pretty much pissed.

            Minho closed the drawer of his bedside cabinet and swallowed down the three pills he had to take every morning. It had started with only one but just after a few weeks he had to take a second and after a few more months a third. It got increasingly difficult to take them every morning without anybody noticing.

~*~

            A glass of water was put in front of him and Minho looked up, smiled thankfully at Jonghyun.

            "Thanks, hyung."

            "Minho, are you alright? You seem pale."

            It hurt the younger one to make him worry or to lie, but when he closed his hand around the small pill box in his pocket he smiled and mumbled:

            "Just not enough sleep. Don't worry."

~*~

            "Hey, Minho, what's with this picture? It was lying under your car-keys."

            Minho looked up when he heard Onew calling for him. The older one held a picture of SHINee in his hand. It was from his last birthday, Jonghyun hugging him from the back, Key on his right side holding the camera and Onew and Taemin trying to also fit in the frame. A weak smile graced Minho's lips as he took the picture.

            "My mother asked for a picture of all of us that wasn't for some magazine or something."

            He couldn't tell him that he was afraid to die alone and thus kept carrying pictures of the others with him.

~*~

            "Hyung, where are you going?"

            Minho looked up from where he was putting on his shoes.

            "Uhm... I've got a meeting. I'll be back soon."

            He had an appointment in the hospital again and he had hoped he could leave without anybody noticing.

            "A meeting? For what? Do you have another drama-role?"

            "Ugh... No, no. It's for Music Core."

            "Ah, well, then take care, hyung!"

~*~

            He spun around, two steps to the front, one to the side, almost time for his rap-part, when he suddenly felt dizzy and weak. The last thing he saw was the panicked face of Jonghyun before he lost consciousness.

~*~

            From then on everything turned for the worst.

            At first they were pissed because he hadn't told them anything but the weaker he got, the more they were worried. The hospital decided to keep him there, especially after he started to cough blood.

            At one point he wanted nothing more than to end it all because he hated to feel so weak. In a sudden burst of energy he screamed and shouted, threw everything he could reach until he felt so weak again that he could only lay on his bed, small sobs shaking his body while the tears didn't seem to stop anymore. Jonghyun came closer then, from his spot on the window where he had patiently waited for Minho to calm down, and embraced him in a tight hug.

            "Shhhh... It's okay. Cry as much as you need. I'll stay by your side."

            And he kept his promise. He visited the younger one every day, stayed by his side until he was thrown out by the nurses. Talked to him, read him books and played games with him. He was there when Minho didn't want his family to visit him because he didn't want them to worry. He stubbornly stayed by his side when the younger one didn't want SHINee to visit him anymore because he was sick and pale and didn't want anyone to see him like that.

            "But you are beautiful.", Jonghyun had mumbled and he had pressed a loving kiss to the corner of Minho's dry lips.

~*~

            "I'm sorry I couldn't love you more..."

            The faint whisper was so small, Jonghyun almost didn't hear it. Nonetheless he smiled, caressed a pale cheek.

            "What are you talking about? You allowed me to stay by your side all these weeks. I couldn't be happier."

           An almost not noticeable smile graced the younger ones lips and his hand in the older one's tried to squeeze it.

            "I love you."

            His eyes slowly closed and the weak rise and fall of his chest stopped. The continuous beep didn't disturb Jonghyun.

            His smile was bright but wet of tears when he kissed the closed eyelids of his love, then the dry lips.

            "I love you, Minho. I love you so much. I'm sorry."