They won’t believe me, accusing me of craziness when I tell them he’s there. I can see him standing in front of me smiling, telling me that he’ll never leave. How can they not see him? His smile radiates the whole room, leaving me blind of so much light.

“Jonghyun, stop staring at the wall” I heard Minho with his tired tone, he told me once: ‘if you didn’t stop, I’ll give up on you.’ Yet, Minho… how could I stop when I’m seeing him? It’s driving me crazy. “It’s not the wall it’s-…” He cuts me short “It’s Kibum” he sighed and stood up to stand in Kibum’s place “Now, is he still there?” The look in his eyes; he’s tired, he’ll give up on me… won’t he?

I shook my head no and looked down. A single tear fell and left a small stain on my denim blue jeans. The jeans which Kibum nagged on me to buy…

-Flashback-

“Yeobo! I’m telling you it looks perfect” he squealed with his ever so girly voice beaming in the shop “Kibum no, it’s too tight” I shook my head refusing the idea of wearing such a skinny jeans in public, I’m not him, I can never pull this look off.

“Fine” he crossed his arms and pouted his rosy lips. How can I resist these little actions of his? He knows how to get to me “You never listen to me” he stomped away. We both know that what he said was completely absurd, he drives my life; I always listen to him.

“Ah! I love my yeobo” he clung himself on my arm printing a soft kiss on my cheek when I exited the shop with a bag, containing the jeans he picked. “I can’t believe you made me buy it” I rolled my eyes and looked at the material laying inside its holder “Trust me, you’ll look fabulous.”

-End of Flashback-

Kibum, are you still there or not? Answer me truly, don’t lie. I promise I won’t get mad, just stop driving me crazy. I didn’t realize I was crying so much until Minho came to hold, and I heard my long shaky breath combined with vibration in my shoulders.

“Stop doing this to yourself, Jonghyun” Minho once again told me, he’s a good friend. Even though I know he wants to be more than just a friend, but I don’t deserve him next to me. “I’m not doing it, he is!” I pointed at Kibum who was standing with his arms crossed glaring at Minho with one cocked eyebrow.

I got up and stood next to him, tears already wetting my whole face. I pointed at the feminine figure of Kibum’s “Don’t you see him, he’s here!” I shouted out my voice screeching, Minho you have to believe me. Kibum waved at my friend with a smug smile and Minho looked away “Minho, you saw him didn’t you?” I whispered dropping my head “Let’s go to bed, Jjong”

-

I can’t live like this anymore; I’m hurting myself and others. But, why am I the only one seeing Kibum? Why does everyone say he’s dead? HE’S NOT. “You’re not dead Kibum, aren’t you?” I asked him who was sitting on the desk in front of me dangling his feet.

He looked up at me and smiled “Don’t you see me? Do I look like I’m dead?” he poked himself “Nope, I’m pretty much alive” he nodded with a chuckle. I nodded and got up, I looked down at what was between my hands and took a breath “Kibum, you might wanna turn away now” I said

Bang…