It supposed to be 2000 words only, but I just couldn't stop. (lol)
6600words kkkk
I hope you enjoy!
SH

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“I want that one....that one....that one....”said Kyuhyun while pointing his index finger to the pitch black sky with million tiny sparkle dots spread lavishly on the surface. Siwon stared at the sky above them, drawing virtual line of the stars Kyuhyun chose he wanted to have. He turned his head to see the smiling face next to him, blinking his big round orbs cutely. They were lying on the hood of Siwon’s Gaby, Siwon’s hand latched onto Kyuhyun’s hand, resting their intertwined hands on his chest.

Siwon has planned this since weeks ago, gazing the stars in the middle of the night on the top of the hill. Through such intimate event, Siwon wanted to show Kyuhyun how much he loved him, even though Kyuhyun might not see the amount of his love, but he wanted Kyuhyun to feel it. He would give everything he had just to make Kyuhyun feel loved. Kyuhyun was his home, his dream, his one and only rising star.

“But....” Kyuhyun trailed off.  “It’s not like all the dreams made to be accomplished right?”

“Why do you say so?” rubbed his thumb over Kyuhyun’s back palm.

“All the stars on the sky, sometimes they fall, sometimes they stay, but who knows that I’ll be able to get the star before it ceased to exist?”

“Nah. All the stars you want, all the dreams you long, I’ll give them to you all. I’ll do anything for you to get all your dreams, all your stars.” Kyuhyun turned away and met a reassuring look of Siwon. “You have my words” He added.

Siwon promised, no star was out of reach for Kyuhyun, he wanted Kyuhyun to fly, soaring up the sky, because he was the only star Siwon loved and cared. He wanted Kyuhyun to be happy with his life, with his dreams, proud of who he was, and he wanted to put an eternal smile on his face. But sometimes to put a smile on your love one’s face; you have to endure the tears falling down on your face. Siwon did so.

***

Siwon poked out his head from the new arrived magazine he was reading, looking at the whining Kyuhyun who was dressing himself, making pose in front of their wide bedroom mirror.

“I’m getting really fat, like seriously... I look so poor.” Kyuhyun pouted, pinched his belly and turned around to see an amused Siwon. “Seriously hyung, I need to diet.” Siwon just smiled and back to his magazine.

“Hyunggggggggg...” stomped his feet to the floor.

“You are fine baby.” Siwon muttered not looking, he wanted Kyuhyun not to pay too much attention to his weight, because he was just fine, it was just Kyuhyun always commented about how he was getting fatter lately, while the truth he was not, at all. He just fluffy and squishy, besides he had been practicing a lot, and his comeback was around the corner, he would lose weight in the process though.

“No. Look at this hyung.... greasy! My comeback is going to be in two months...but I feel like a bundle of “

“Not at all.” Siwon said, putting down the magazine to the night stand table and got off from bed, came closer to the pouty baby. He circled his arms around Kyuhyun’s waist and lifted him in one move, caused Kyuhyun to cling his hands around Siwon’s neck automatically. “Look, I still can lift you up this easily.” made Kyuhyun blushed, but he still wasn’t convinced. “You have four musicals this year, and your comeback is just two months to go, also your recording schedule almost as much. I don’t think dieting is a good way to keep you up with your entire packed schedules baby...”

“But.....what if people don’t like me like this?”

“No one doesn’t like an adorable baby like you.” Siwon said nuzzling his nose to Kyuhyun’s. “Besides, you will always have me. I will always love you, fluffy.”

“See, you called me fluffy.” Deepened his pout

“Indeed you are.” Siwon stole a quick kiss from the adorable lips.

“This is my dream hyung, released my fifth album....I need to give the best of me. I don’t want people to leave me”

“You did, and you’ll be doing great as always. In my eyes, you are always beautiful.”

“That’s why I shouldn’t ask your opinion in such cases...” hit Siwon’s shoulder playfully.

“If no one buys your fifth  album, I will buy them all.”

“Stupid.”

It was one of times Kyuhyun outpouring his insecurities to Siwon. Musical, Album, Kyuhyun topped it all since he debuted as solo singer after SJ run a company together; they stopped activity as Super Junior but, most of them worked on projects under their own SJ's company.

Siwon ceased to work on the showbiz; he started his own business and inherited his father’s company. He was happy that he had free times on his hand to enjoy his life and stay close with Kyuhyun.

“I said I don’t like this kind of collar, this makes my face looks bloated. I told you many times already, Jaejiyah...” Kyuhyun nagged to one of the wardrobe coordi, agitated. Siwon was on the corner of the room, waiting for his baby fitting the attire for his fan sign event. Siwon was always there to support Kyuhyun on his shows; he had many spare times lately. All his schedules were packed up according to Kyuhyun’s schedules because he didn’t want to miss a single moment of being beside Kyuhyun.

He approached Kyuhyun who hadn’t calmed down yet. They’ve been together for years; people counted on him in this sort of circumstance.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Siwon said petting the coordi and motioned her to leave them two for a while.

“Siwonnie..... This is a big event for me; I don’t want to disappoint my fans. Look at this; I’m going to fire whoever made this jacket.”

Siwon drew his hands to Kyuhyun’s shoulders and squeezed it lightly. “Hey...” Siwon cupped Kyuhyun’s both cheek made him look up. “You don’t have to wear this, okay? We’ll get another jacket for you.” He cradled Kyuhyun’s bubbly cheeks. “I will talk to them and get you changed.” He helped Kyuhyun to undress, throw the jacket somewhere on the couch.

“Come here.” He held Kyuhyun’s hand and pulled him into warm embrace. Swinging their body along with the soft music Siwon hummed over Kyuhyun’s top of head, My Love For You, their Chinese song with SJM eight years ago.

Kyuhyun was at ease in Siwon’s arms, he rested his head on Siwon’s shoulder “Thank you.”

***

Months passed, Kyuhyun topped everything like always, his album was on top of the chart for weeks, his musical got so great attention, and he received all the love he deserved. Kyuhyun was drowning on his hectic schedule and didn’t have free time at all. All the time he looked like he didn’t sleep a blink of eyes.

Siwon was there, through message, calls or presented as the first and best audience.

Until he was not.

He still remembered the twentieth time Kyuhyun broke his promise of their tryst, it was the hundredth plea Siwon proposed to Kyuhyun so he could give some alone time for them to be together in a place, enjoying their romantic moment and have an adult conversation.

The last time, Siwon waited for three hours and only got the news from Kyuhyun’s manager at another next hour that Kyuhyun had a sudden meeting with the company and got a wardrobe fitting afterward. Siwon sighed heavily; the schedules stole his beloved from him.

What made it worse that Kyuhyun always came home late and worn out. Siwon would wait for him till he got home safe and sound while the truth he never meet the bright Kyuhyun, the bubbly cheeks gaunt, eye bags seen clearly and he was getting thinner each day, like all his blood had drained forcefully from his body. Siwon watched how Kyuhyun dragged his feet lazily to the couch, slumped haphazardly on the couch, he would prepared for the hot bath before Kyuhyun arrived, sometimes Kyuhyun took it, sometimes he just flopped himself on the bed with full clothes and make up, exhausted.

Siwon understood Kyuhyun’s condition, he didn’t ask more, he just needed to show that he would stand by his side no matter what, just like he promised four years ago when they gazing the stars, he always being there to love.

It was another different; Siwon was hard, he needed it so bad. It was 10 months ago the last time they had it, that night all his longing peaked and seek for the windup. He fidgeted on his sleep, tried to form good plea for Kyuhyun this time, he missed intimate gestures more likely he missed Kyuhyun’s warm body in their joint flesh, but it never happened.

“Baby...” Siwon nudged Kyuhyun’s arm lightly, made Kyuhyun stirred from his sleep.

“Hang...” He mumbled with eyes closed tight

“Baby...” He nudged again and Kyuhyun opened his eyes looking at the kicked puppy look beside him. He knew what kind of situation Siwon was in, but he was not going to deal with it that night, he was spent and the only plausible thing crossed his mind was sleep.

“I’m tired hyung.” Kyuhyun said closing his eyes again. “Next time okay?”

“But baby.....” Siwon pleaded “Please....”

“I’m really tired.” Final words before Kyuhyun turned around back facing Siwon.

Siwon stared wistfully at the back of his love, he stopped nagging and just like the other night, and he would deal with it in the bathroom.

***

“Hyung...” Kyuhyun came home early, and he looked so blissful, holding a bundle of papers to his chest.

“Hey,” Siwon said welcoming Kyuhyun with his affectionate embrace. “You home early babe.....”

“Yes. I can’t help break this news to you so very soon.” Kyuhyun jogged his feet to the living room and jumped to the couch, folded his legs so ready for telling the good news.

“What news?” Siwon said curious, while taking the empty spot beside Kyuhyun, hand circled on Kyuhyun’s waist on his own.

“Look at this.” Handed the paper.

“Scenario?” flipped the papers

“Yes. And guess what?”

“What?”

“I will perform it on Broadway this spring hyung, it’s Broadway, New York!!!” he squeezed Siwon’s hand in excitement.

“Wow. Congratz babe.” Siwon said gathering Kyuhyun in his arms.

“The practice started the end of this month.”

“Wait, when? This month?”

“Yes, why?”

“You’ll be there for three months? And..... babe I thought you already empty all your schedules for two weeks during Valentine’s Day.”

“Ugh yes, I know. But..... This sudden call... you know how much I want it Siwonnie. It’s Broadway.... it’s my dream...I mean” He looked at his fingers “I’m sorry, I know... should I turn it down?”

“No...It’s.........its okay. We could plan another trip on Christmas.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I love you so much hyungie....” Kyuhyun threw himself to the broad chest “You are the best.” Kyuhyun mumbled through Siwon’s fabric.

***

It was the hardest three months for Siwon; being away to the love of his life and worse because Kyuhyun had limited time even for just a call. Many times Siwon invoked to fly there on weekend, but Kyuhyun refused. He needed to focus on his practice, besides Kyuhyun’s life been under scrutiny lately, one wrong moves could ruin everything.  So Siwon waited and stayed mum to Kyuhyun’s decision, it wasn’t like Kyuhyun wouldn’t come back to him and became his again, of course patient was required.

Kyuhyun arrived at the airport with two suitcases and some paper bags with the manager followed behind him.

He was surprised to see Siwon waiting outside “What are you doing here?” covering his mouth with the scarf and put the shades on.

“Picking you up.” Siwon stated

“I know. But....you shouldn’t do that. People might recognize you.”

“They won’t recognize me; I am no longer an idol.”

“But still...if they see us together.” He quickened his pace to the car.

“Kyuhyun, they might think I am your manager. Look I don’t put any make up on and I don’t know if they still remember me, I am just normal people now.”

“They know you, or at least they know me.”

“Well....should I take three steps back and disguise as your fan instead?”

Kyuhyun sighed. “Just don’t do this ever again.” Kyuhyun slid inside the car while protecting his face from people’s eyes. Fortunately, his homecoming wasn’t leaked to anyone and he took the early flight to avoid news.

After dropping the manager at the office, they headed home with Kyuhyun kept telling about his experiences all the way to their shared apartment. Siwon listened with beams, he was happy that Kyuhyun felt happy and proud about himself; moreover he was happy that his Kyuhyun was back.

Kyuhyun took out the paper bags from one of the suitcases and started showing them off to Siwon.

“Ah... I bought this is for you. It’s really cool. You will like it.” Putting the new wrist watch on Siwon’s hand. “Whoa...it suits you hyung.” He looked through his paper bags and piped in delightful “Ah this one... this is my favorite.” Pulled a straw hat out from the bag along with some sunglasses then put one on. “Oh my God I love this so much, I want you to wear this hyung.” took other sunglasses and offered to Siwon. He model some y pose in front of Siwon made the latter chuckled “This also. Ah perfect!” Siwon just stared at Kyuhyun promoting all the gifts Kyuhyun prepared for him, he indeed was loved.

Siwon moved to Kyuhyun who was sitting on the floor busy opening up another box of shoes.

“Hey baby” He crouched down and cupped his cheeks with both hands. “I am thankful of all this presents, I love them, sincerely. But...... what I really want right now is you.” Siwon said painting red crimson on Kyuhyun bubbly cheeks.

Siwon rubbed his thumb on Kyuhyun’s rosy cheek, eyes staring at the brown orbs of his love one, he moved his eyes down to Kyuhyun’s appealing lips and Kyuhyun mirrored Siwon’s action. Their face started getting closer and closer until theirs touched, it was so soft and enticing, new but familiar, fresh and sweet. Their position was awkward but Siwon hack care about it, what important was to claim his stake and paid off the three torturing months away from each other.

Siwon was above Kyuhyun who was sprawling in between the paper bags, so ready for savoring each millimeter of Kyuhyun’s unblemished body; until a phone call broke their making out session.

They tried to neglect the phone call, but it kept ringing intruding their concentration.

“Okay..I’m going to take it, wait a minute darling.” Kyuhyun got up before stole kiss from Siwon lips and answered the phone. Siwon let a disappoint sigh out from his mouth and about to scold the manager...

“Shh..This is important” Kyuhyun said while walking to the balcony left Siwon alone in the living room, hard.

After three minutes, Kyuhyun went back to the living room with Siwon’s eagerness to resume their session.

“Siwon..... I am sorry, but I need to head to the office right now.”

“What? But you just got back from New York and....why?”

“Yeah, I know...but there’s something important the company need to tell me.”

“Okay....how long will it take?”

“I don’t know, two or three hours maybe? I’ll be home for dinner, I promise.”

***

Kyuhyun reached home at super late hour, he just couldn’t reject the offer of having dinner together with the CEO of his upcoming commercial project. The apartment was so quiet and the living room was just dim light. He saw there was flash light from the kitchen; he removed his coat and walked to the kitchen only to find Siwon sat on the dining table with glum face, eyes staring blankly at the nearly went out candle. Kyuhyun felt the guilt of breaking his promise again; he sat across Siwon who seemed indifferent to his presence. The dishes were placed out beautifully on the table; it looked delicious, only it was cold.

“I am sorry Siwonnie. I couldn’t make it for dinner. You haven’t eaten?” He tried to brighten the awkward atmosphere but fell through. Siwon stayed reserved.

“Hyung....” Kyuhyun touched Siwon’s right knuckle that stretched out on the table. Siwon looked up, and Kyuhyun knew he must be sitting there for hours. His eyes were tired and weary.

“Let’s break up.”

“Hyung....”

“Let’s end this here.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Kyuhyun stared angrily at Siwon, expecting Siwon to take back his words.

“It’s for the better. You don’t need me anymore, Cho Kyuhyun.”

It was a bang for him, never in his life he could imagine they would break up, and the fact that Siwon broke them apart hurt his pride. “Fine.”

They stared for some seconds before Siwon standing from his seat and ready to leave. But he stopped after a meter from where Kyuhyun was sitting, dumbfounded.

“I will take my stuffs tomorrow. Good night.”

***

Kyuhyun didn’t get it; he was too overwhelmed with the jumbled feeling inside his heart. 24 hours after their break up, he didn’t grasp the real situation at all; in his head the thing mattered was “Siwon broke up with me? Siwon broke them apart? This was a joke that Siwon who loved him so much wanted to break up” his pride was hurt and it was the only thing mattered until he wake up the next day with eyes swollen and his face sunken, alone.

The bed looked a little bigger for himself, and he saw the pillow next to him was tidy just like the night he slept in. He massaged his temple lightly, the room was a bit unoccupied, and some things were removed from the room, Kyuhyun sure. Their photos were no longer on the night stand, only Kyuhyun’s stuffs left on the dressing table. He jumped on his feet and rushed to open the closet, half of them weren’t there anymore, Siwon’s suits, Siwon’s shirts, his watches, perfume....all gone. He felt like crying when the realization hit me: they broke up. He needed no check to the other rooms to know if Siwon’s stuff still there or not. He said he would take all his stuffs, meant this super big apartment was his alone and it was suffocating.

The second day were much worse, he noticed Siwon’s sticky note on the refrigerator saying to put the bottle back inside, because Kyuhyun being the lazy and sloppy one always forget to do that. He just left the bottle on the ref or on the table.

He took the sticky note and recited the handwriting, he looked at the dustbin beside and had an argue to look for it, he found some old sticky note of Siwon telling him to eat his prepared breakfast, one said about his juice’s ingredient, anthers just said good morning, doodles, series of take out numbers or a short I Love You. Kyuhyun sat down on the floor gathering all the sticky notes and saved it to one glass jar, just in case he would miss these and he probably would.

Each day the memories swirled around, peeked from every single thing left in the apartment. Just like that morning when the aunty sent their laundry, he looked through them and found Siwon’s stuffs, there was this pair of certain socks, their favorite. It was during winter when they ran out of socks, because the other day they played water splash around the kitchen made all the cleaned clothes on the laundry box wet, included their socks. There was a pair of heart-printed socks left and that night was pretty cold, so they decided to wear them, the left sock for Siwon and the right sock for Kyuhyun left the others bare. They teased a lot that night, doing footsie under the blanket, giggled. What funny was even after they got enough socks, they still wore one pair only and enjoyed flirting playfully under the blanket, good times.

Kyuhyun took the socks and put them on his feet, he stretched his feet on the floor wiggling them together;

‘you are so cute...’ said the right sock

‘no you are cuter....’ replied the left one

‘so why did you leave me?’

He halted his action then sighed “What’s with all this torment?”

***

“Ahh... I am so tired.” Kyuhyun croaked out after fixing his seatbelt and yawned like a little kid.

“It’s still 1pm. What are you so tired about?”

“I don’t know.” He massaged his shoulder. “The outcome of getting older I guess, my body couldn’t take too many works.”

“Have you taken your vitamin this morning?”

“Vitamin? Oh my....I forgot about vitamin.... and I don’t even remember when was the last time I took it. Was it last week?”

“Why? You never forget that before...”

Kyuhyun fell silent, he knew why he forgot to drink his vitamin, and it was not like he ever remembered it on his own. Usually, Siwon would prepare all his needs, placing the vitamin next to his water and reminded him to take it before leave. He always did, so when Kyuhyun had to serve himself, he kind of lost about it, got used to be pampered all the time.

Other times, he forgot to make detox juice, breakfast, lunch and dinner. He just couldn’t remember a thing he usually did when Siwon was around.

One night he played the star craft on his laptop after reaching home early. He intended to play until midnight only, but drowning in the thrill of his game, he didn’t realize it was passed dawn already. He opened the curtain and met the sun glared dazzling his eyes. He sighed.

Sometimes, when the night got rough and he couldn’t sleep, he would watch TV on the living room with chips and remote on his hands. He remembered he was watching Radio Star at that moment, but he didn’t know what happened next and only waking up because by his alarm echoing for about thirty minutes. 7am; chips spread on his chest and the remote fell down next to the couch. He was in a mess. Usually, Siwon would wake him up or simply lifted him up to the bedroom and wake him up in the morning for schedule, but he was all by himself.

“I have practice right now, Kyukyu.” Said Wookie on the other of the line.

“Okay, I’ll ask Heenim.”

“Ah....My recording will end after two hours.” Heenim remarked

“What? I am really hungry right now.”

“Hm...Try asking Kangin or Yesung then.”

It was never this hard to have lunch; Siwon was always one call away from him. The members were busy but he hated to eat alone; in the end he had take out and eat alone at home.

***

“Hyung, I need a personal assistant.”

“Huh? Am I not enough for you?” said the manager

“Of course not. I need a person who is available 24/7 for me, reminds me to take my vitamin, wakes me up, prepares my breakfast, reminds me to have my meal, accompanies me e.v.e.r.y t.i.m.e”

The manager sent him a questioned look

“And it will be better if he could sing.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t sleep well lately.... I need distraction.”

“Why don’t you just watch TV or listen to music?”

“I did. It didn’t work. I need someone to accompany me, real person.” He reasoned

“You sounded like you are lonely. Do you need boyfriend? Do I need to get you boyfriend?” the manager teased.

“No. I am not lonely. I don’t need boyfriend.” He glared.

“But all the requirements..... You better get boyfriend than a personal assistant Kyuhyun. Why don’t you get back together with Siwon?”

Kyuhyun ducked his head and blew a long sigh.

“Oops, sorry.”

***

The next two weeks, the personal assistant he asked for, came. He was tall, good looking, had perfect body and fashionable so much like Siwon, pointy nose, enticing eyes, and thin lips. Kyuhyun’s jaw dropped when he couldn’t find one thing to distinguish him with Siwon. He was satisfied with the manager’s choice before the man voiced out.

“Hello, I am Cha Jangmin, 26 years old, your personal assistant.” His voice was far from thick or husky; it was shrill and sharp, like a ding.  His appearance might look like Siwon, but his voice was completely the opposite.

“You are awkward.” The first sentence Kyuhyun muttered then coughed because he felt weird himself saying such thing. “Okay...so do you know the things you have to do and the things you shouldn’t, right?”

“Yes. I understand, Cho Kyuhyun-sii.” The man straightened himself.

“Well.....since you have to accompany me 24/7, you will live here too, I prepared the room next to mine, just in case I need something. I wrote down my needs, read that carefully.”

“Yes, Cho Kyuhyun-sii.”

“Okay...hm....the last thing, you can drop the honorific, we are not in military, just call me hyung.”

“Yes, hyungnim.”

“Hyung.”

“Ah hyungnim.” He bowed down

“Well, whatever.” Kyuhyun threw his hand to the air.

Kyuhyun felt a bit relief; all his schedules were handled by manager and his stuffs at home handled by Jangmin, and he only needed to sit at home waiting for them telling him the next things he should do. And he didn’t need to find people to accompany him for meals; Jangmin was quite compatible for everything. He was a good companion and so much for boyfriend materials. Despite his cooking that didn’t suit his taste, yet, other things were handled perfectly.

***

“Hyungnim..... You will have two weeks off next month. Should I prepare for your schedule or you want to have vacation during the holidays?”

“Two weeks off? What occasion?”

“Uhm.... they said last months you lose your two weeks off during Valentine for the Broadway performance, then you asked for an exchange to this Christmas”

“Ah....that one.” He sighed; it was supposed to be a makeup vacation for their canceled vacation with Siwon on February. He didn’t know how to spend a day without schedule, let alone two weeks, and it happened few days more, which he hadn’t plan anything yet. On his young age, he liked traveling alone, but the last few years, he always went together with Siwon. “I will talk to manager.”

“Hyung.... I can’t take the two weeks off.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know what to do during those two weeks. I mean, I can take 3 to five days during Christmas, but two weeks.... Can you arrange schedule for me?”

“I don’t think so. It’s almost year-end, your schedules for this year had decided.”

“Really? Okay then.”

“Hyungnim....” Jangmin barged into his house

“What are you doing here? I gave you days off.” Kyuhyun said poking his head out from the couch.

“I know, but.... when I was at home, I watched a variety you guested.” He came closer and sat next to the couch.

“Huh?” Kyuhyun listened to this seemed interesting story.

“I saw you cooking pizza.”

“Cooking? Pizza?”

“Yes, you were with Henry-sii on that show.”

“Ah...Happy together?”

“Yes.” Said him in excitement

“It was 9 or 10 years ago.”

“I want to taste your pizza hyungnim...”

“Geez...no. I am no good, not anymore.”

“But it looked delicious; you should give it a try hyungnim.” Jangmin plead, clasped his hand together and begged.

“Jangmin please...”

“Hyungnim please....”

“Fine fine... but you have to take responsibility if this house caught fire.” Jangmin just nodded eagerly.

“I told you.” Kyuhyun mumbled staring hopelessly at the messy kitchen. It wasn’t because he forgot the receipt or forget how to cook, it just his head in a mess recalling why he chose to cook this healthy pizza in the first place. They both love pizza so much, but Siwon’s work forced him to have well-built body, so he needed to pay attention to his meals, Kyuhyun being the good boyfriend help him by serving good and healthy meals. When he first joined SJ, he was at cooking, but gradually he learned to cook for Siwon.

They ended up order a take out from Chinese restaurant and Kyuhyun started cajoling Jangmin to drink wine.

“It’s still noon hyungnim.”

“No problem.”

Jangmin was a bit tipsy after his third glass. Kyuhyun was perfectly sober; he has the highest tolerance of alcohol among members.

“What about the pizza hyungnim?”

Kyuhyun stared at him gloomy.

“We love it.”

“We? Your lover?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you still love him?”

“I do. Wait, him?”

“I am sorry, I know you had boyfriend when I overheard your conversation with manager.”

“And you don’t feel I’m weird?”

“Why would I?”

He hummed in response

“Why do you love him hyungnim?”

“Why do I love him? Because....” his eyes wandered to the ceiling, tried forming reasons to love Siwon: he is funny, handsome, caring, kindhearted, stupid, weird, y, smart, fool, romantic, eager, bright, talented, but nothing was sufficient for a reason to love him “I don’t know.” Kyuhyun said dreamily

“So why did you have reason to leave him?”

Kyuhyun’s turned to look at Jangmin in surprise, it was a simple question yet hard to answer. “He did”

“Why did you give him reason to leave?” another strong words.

“How’s it me to be blamed?”

“Because he left.”

Kyuhyun nodded, acknowledging the whole story plot why Siwon ended up breaking them apart. “I was such a fool. I made him feel bad about himself. He said I don’t need him anymore.” Kyuhyun vented, finally admitted he was wrong. “But the truth.... I need him so much, I don’t even know where to place my hand on the table while eating, because it always on his palm. I feel awkward sleeping with the pillow, it’s uncomfortable compare to his hunky chest, it’s weird having no one to cuddle on the couch.” He inhaled “I am sorry for telling you this.” Kyuhyun said turn his gaze toward Jangmin, he chuckled because the younger already sleep face firmed to the coffee table. He fixed Jangmin’s position before took a comfortable spot on the couch.

He woke up around evening with Jangmin still sleeping soundly. He took a blanket from his room and covered the slumbered man.

Of his distracted mind, Kyuhyun went out to the park to breathe fresh air. Before he reached a bench on the park, his vision went blurred until everything was pitch black.

He was stirred from his sleep when he woke up seeing the face of someone he was missing lately. This must be a dream. He thought. He closed his eyes again and tried to sit down, but the person stopped him.

“You should just lie down.” He was blanked for one second long before focusing on the man before him.

“Si...where am I?” His head hurt and his wrist felt itchy from the IV.

“Hospital.”

“Hospital? How?”

“You passed out at the park.” Siwon said while fixing his blanket

“Passed out?”

“The doctor said your enteritis relapses, due to your disordered eating and alcohol.” There was guilt on Siwon’s tone, like Kyuhyun’s well being was his responsibility.

“Oh...... you were there? At the park?”

“No. Someone found you there and took you to the hospital. He called me since I am on your speed dial.” There was a stabbing pain inside his heart.

“I—I forget to change it. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“It’s okay. I am glad that when they called I was in town or else I have to send someone to the hospital instead of me and I don’t think I can be calm about it.”

A comfortable warm creep in Kyuhyun's chest. Siwon cared.

“Anyway, your assistant will be here in a few minutes.”

Suddenly there were noises outside Kyuhyun’s door. A tall man drenched in sweat rushed to the bed “Hyungnim.....” He panted, hands gripping two bags. His eyes caught Siwon first.

“Are you.....are you Choi Siwon?” Siwon was too taken aback that he didn’t respond. “You are Choi Siwon the actor?”

Siwon threw a quick questioning glance to Kyuhyun. “I was...I mean I am.”

“Whoa.” He shook Siwon’s hand and pulled him in a hug. “I am your fan hyungnim...” Siwon couldn’t grasp the situation at all.

“You are Kyuhyun’s assistant right?”

“Yes. When you said you are Siwon I didn’t know that you are Choi Siwon the famous actor.”

“Past.” Siwon stated.

“Excuse me Jangmin....” Kyuhyun glared. “You are supposed to ask about my condition here....what are you...” Kyuhyun coughed.

“I’m sorry hyungnim... It’s just I don’t know you are befriended with Choi Siwon-sii.”

“Of course I befriended with him, he was in SJ, what an unfaithful fan you are.”

Jangmin just casted his eyes down feeling guilty. Siwon laughed at the two cuties. “It’s okay...it’s okay.” He turned his gaze to the pouty Kyuhyun. “I shall take my leave now.”

‘Why so fast’ Kyuhyun thought, but didn’t dare to say it aloud. “Okay, thank you for coming.” He spoke softly.

After Siwon took off, Jangmin pulled the bag to the chair, stuffing Kyuhyun’s needs.

“I brought blanket for you hyungnim. Siwon-sii said you hate the smell of hospital blanket.”

Kyuhyun opened his mouth to say something but he retreated.

“And he also asked me to bring your favorite socks....he knows you so well hyungnim” placing out the stuffs on the closet.

He remembered. Without him knowing, his eyes got watery and it was caught by Jangmin

“Hyungnim....what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Kyuhyun turned his head to the side, remotely drop the tears to his cheek.

“Hyungnim....”

Kyuhyun took a long deep breath and wiped away the tears with his free hand.

“Is it him? The one you love?” Jangmin conveyed carefully.

“I want to rest. You wait outside.” Kyuhyun muttered and shut his eyes tight.

***

Kyuhyun was sitting on the hospital bed staring blankly, whilst Jangmin stuffing his clothes to the bed. The worst holidays ever, Kyuhyun thought. Not until someone peeked from outside the door and hi him.

“Are you ready to go home?” Siwon said smiling.

“You come?” Kyuhyun beamed, everything was in the right place once again.

“I’ll wait in the car.” Jangmin stated and exited the room.

“How’s your feeling.”

“So much better.” Kyuhyun stretched his hand out motioning Siwon to help him down. Siwon knew better, he took Kyuhyun in bridal style and carefully putting him down. “Thank you.” Hid his rosy cheeks.

Siwon walked to the door and opened it for Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun stared for some seconds before walked closer to Siwon’s direction, he didn’t step out of the room, and he circled his hands around Siwon’s neck instead. Siwon’s jolt was invisible.

It took long enough for Siwon to return the hug.

“I am sorry” Kyuhyun said. He couldn’t help to tighten his hug around the familiar heat “I still love you.” He whispered.

Siwon stayed mum, so Kyuhyun concluded that Siwon didn’t feel the same anymore. But he didn’t regret of confessing his feeling, he didn’t want to be fooled by his own selfishness. For Siwon to listen to his words was enough, if they were meant together, they would certainly together one day.

***

“Where are you going hyungnim?” Going back and forth to Kyuhyun’s side when Kyuhyun putting his scarf on.

“Somewhere.” Kyuhyun mumbled indifferent

“But it’s pretty cold outside.”

“Don’t worry, I wear jacket.”

“But.....why can’t I accompany you?”

“Not this time Jangmin. I have to do this on my own...” he tied his shoelace

“B-but...”

“Shut up or I’ll fire you!” sent a death glare before taking off.

“Hyungnim...”

Kyuhyun was sitting on the trunk of his vehicle, watching the invisible stars on the sky. It rained hard that noon so no stars hanging above the sky, but Kyuhyun convinced him that that was the right time. Last year at the same place, they were there gazing the stars in hope that night Siwon would do the same.

A series of quick knocks fazed Siwon’s attention; it was nearly 10pm when he opened the door to see Jangmin waiting outside the door, breathless.

“Why are you always breathless?”

“I am sorry Siwon-sii, but this is urgent.” Siwon open the door for him to enter. “I need a favor.”

Siwon blinked, he just knew this man for a few days... “What is it?”

“Kyuhyun hyung went somewhere but he asked me not to follow, I’m worried, he usually tagged me along. He hasn’t come back and I couldn’t reach him. I don’t want that night at the park to happen again. I know I sound pathetic but Kyuhyun hyung is a good guy, he has a gentle soul. The world needs someone like him...”

“I know. Did he tell you where he was going?” squeezing Jangmin’s shoulders.

“No, he didn’t. But he kept saying too bad it’s raining”

“What date is today?”

“December 20?”

“I know. Thank you, I’ll go find him now.”

“You know where he is?”

“Yes.” They both exited Siwon’s apartment. Jangmin started smile cheerfully.

“Hyungnim....” Siwon turned back.

“Please take him back, he loves you so much.”

“I will.” Siwon said confidently.

***
Siwon arrived at the place where he promised to give all the stars to Kyuhyun four years ago on the same day. From a far Siwon could see a car was parked some meters away from the edge.

“Kyuhyun!” He called out, getting closer to the vehicle but found no one there. “Kyuhyun! Kyuhyun!”

“Hng.” A soft mumble came from the right side of the car. Siwon rushed his pace and found Kyuhyun curled into ball near the tire.

“Kyuhyun.” He pulled Kyuhyun to his embrace. He was as cold as ice, his lips turned blue, fingers freeze. “Oh my God.” He took Kyuhyun’s hands, enveloped it with his hands while blowing his warm breath in between the palm.

“What took you so long?”

“I am sorry.” Siwon slid his arms under Kyuhyun’s legs and lifted him up.

“Wait.” Kyuhyun whispered. “I want to see my star.”

“There is no star tonight Kyuhyun....”

“You broke your promise.” He pouted. “You said you would give all the stars I want.”

“But I did.”

“So why did you go?”

“What do you mean?”

“My stars won’t be complete if you aren’t mine. I want my last star, I want you.”

“But I don’t deserve that.” Ducking his face.

“You do, you may be the tiniest star of all, but you matter the most, for me you are very significant.” Kyuhyun tried to reach his hand out to hold Siwon.

“Kyuhyun....”

“I love you so much” holding Siwon’s cheek with his palm. “I need you Siwonnie.” Siwon leaned to the touch and kissed the palm affectionately.

“I love you too, always.”

“Kiss me.” Kyuhyun commanded

Siwon lifted Kyuhyun and placed him carefully on the trunk, made home in between Kyuhyun’s thigh for himself. He circled his hands around Kyuhyun’s waist and locked them on the center of Kyuhyun’s back waist. Kyuhyun’s hand moved to Siwon’s neck on its own and the other carding the top of Siwon’s scalp, his fingers lingered on the strands for quite long before Siwon landed his lips on Kyuhyun, wetting the cold plump lips, sending feverish touch made each millimeter of Kyuhyun’s body felt the heat.

Kyuhyun’s grip was getting tighter around Siwon’s neck so Siwon stopped for awhile to give them air to breathe.

“Are you still cold?”

“No. I’m surprisingly hot.” They both chuckled

“Do you want to know a secret?”

“What?” Kyuhyun pulled Siwon closer while he lying down on the trunk.

Siwon followed Kyuhyun’s movement. He wetting his lips before whispered into Kyuhyun’s ear softly “You are my one and only rising star.”

END
 

regards,

Serena H_