Chaerin Pov.

"Stupid girl !" they scream at me when i walk down the corridor and i just smile at them, i am a stupid girl.

"look that ugly creature smiling at us hahaha." they say i wonder how ugly i am, they keep talking bad thing and i keep repeated throwing smile on them. Even if they don't see me as human, even if they keep saying I'm ugly, even if they make me wanna cry all the time, i love to think that they doing normal thing.

I'm just a 5 yo. girl that time when i doing everything in normal, its just not the same when i do it again this time. All i see is black, even when i open my eyes everything just gone in the darkness.

I lose my self when it comes to school, they don't know i can't see them, i fell sorry. Now i just a 15 yo girl with much award on my record, best music maker, best arranger, best writter, best musician. They just don't know how great i am when they just bagging and barking like a puppy asking money from their parents.

"Lee Chaerin, can you do Lilium choir for me ?" thats Park saem the one and only person who smile at me.

"without music ?"

"yes honey." with all my strenght i come to that soft voice and began to sing. The class set in silence when the tone of my voice began to fill the room, i keep my voice in a very high but soft tone, i feel a bit cold when the silence turn in a very scary situation featuring with my voice, the atmosphere of the graveyard is illuminated the room but i can't stop i love it, i love to imagined the face of my classmate looks make me go on till Park saem stop me. "okay thats great Chaerin, thank you." she says, i can feel the warmth of her palm pat my hair gently. My face form a grin from ear to ear, i can't exlpain how happy i am now, when i walk bact to my sit stil with the grin on my face i feel someone follow me and said. "you're the best my queen."

. . .

2 years pass he still following me, give me everything i never had. Friendship, love, and warmth, he say he is a musicion too but somehow now he can't do music, i don't understand ough but i don't care.

"can you feel me Chaerin ?" he always asking me the same question.

"yes your warmth."

"Do you like it ?"

"yes."

"Chaerin !"

"where are you Ji yong ?" for the first time i asking him a question. Silence surrounding the room. "can i touch you ?" the second one and he keep in silence, i know he still there, he always do, even when i take a shower or poop.

The silence keep illuminated the room, all i can hear is just the tic toc sound of the clock. It keep like that till the day pass, day by day pass in silence, he never talk to me either i to him, his warmth fade away time to time, i feel alone again.

The best time to be the old Chaerin, everyday in silent, making musics, writting books, singging all alone. He might be a part of my delusion, he might be just another me that i can't reach, lets just live like you always live, no need to cry cuz he won't back.

Lee Chaerin is never cry even when someone hurt her soo dadly till she want to dead. Lee Chaerin is never cry eventhough she want to. Lee Chaerin is a very tough creature god ever made.

. . .

Today the graduation of mine and i think i wanna cook this time just for this time, i wanna touch the knife i bought yesterday, i wanna chop the vegitable with it.

I'm ready for cooking now, with all the equipment i'm so ready, i began to grab eum i think its carrot, yeah its carrot. And where's the knife ? Ah there you are.

Klik klik klik

I love the sound of the knife kliking, cooking is fun haha, eventhough my fingers hurt i keep going chop the carrot.

"Stop it, i'm sorry." He come again ? "please stop it !" he scream at me.

What did i do ? I'm just cooking.

"why don't you stop ?" he still scream at me.

"i'm just cooking !" i yelled loud, i don't know why but tears are faling down make my face wet.

"i can't touch you, please just stop !"

"why ?"

"Lee Chaerin !"

I lose my grip to the knife make a 'prank' sound wich make my ears hurt, i fall on the floor covering my ears with my arms as i feel a sticky liquid, i cried out loud. "Go away, go away !"

"Chaerin."

I still cry, why is it soo hurt ?

. . .

The day pass just like the same day without him, i can still feel the pain on my arm, its fine but its hurt just the same way as my heart.

Its good to be alone Chaerin, or else you will end up hurting yourself. Yes Chaerin is always alone no metter what.

Knock knock !

"Chaerin." its him again ? "Chaerin its Ji yong, can i come in ?" his voice is just so soft.

"NO !!" i screaming out loud not wanting him to come. Cuz i just still the hurting Chaerin in her heart.

He knock once again and said. "Chaerin please, i'm sorry." with that soft voice i ever heard.

Sorry ? What for ? He never did a wrong thing, he never did. I don't know why he knock the door cuz he always just aroud me all the time, why he need to do that ?

"Chaerin i know your code, i can barge in every time." he raise his voice.

"I don't care !!" i yelled as a reply.

"Chaerin you can touch me now." he keep trying so hard to convince me while he can just open the door and come in.

"Go away !" all i can say, i don't need it anymore, i'm alone, i'm alone, i'm alone.

"Chaerin I love you." its give of a hard hit on my heart, what's that mean huh ?

"i don't believe in love, go go away !" i yelled loud when i heard the ringtone of the door opened, i hurriedly go to the corner side of my bedroom, i hugged my knees and hide my face on it, i feel my heart beat so fast and i sacred so much, i don't know why. 'I don't cry, i don't cry !!' I yelled in my mind as I feel someone get closer and closer till i feel that one right in front of me and hug me thigh. "I'm sorry chaerin I'm so sorry." he said while hug me tighter and tighter.

I don't know why i keep quiet, all i can hear is just his breath on my neck and my sobs, i don't know why but i do cry. He pat my hair gently and whisper to my ear softly. "I love you my queen."

______

Thats it, i know its but thats all... Such a weird fic.

Thankyou for reading.