The fire crackled in the night air. It was the source of heat on their impulsive camping trip. They were on a hill overlooking the lights from the city. It was refreshing to be away and  still have some sort of appreciation. They city could be overwhelming at times, pressure from friends, school, family and the constant need to be successful, living to meet people's standard of how one's life should be. The city was a rush.

The flames at the piece of wood Kibum added.

"This is different."

Kibum rubbed his palms together to generate some warmth. They were on a hill so it was only natural that the temperature would be lower than that of the city.

"It is." Kibum agreed. From his position, Jinki's handsome face was partly illuminated by the flames that kept on crackling and devouring the pieces of wood.

"So.." Jinki began awkwardly as a distraction from the undeclared staring match. "Jonghyun's a very nice guy. He organized all of this. I see why you like him."

"He is..nice." A smile graced Kibum’s lips for a few seconds. It was awkward by default to talk your ex about your current boyfriend. That issue had Kibum worried all night when he found out that Jinki was coming along but he was excited as always to see him. They had ended on very amicable terms with an underlying, unexpressed promise of getting back together because of how intricately wound and tangled their heartstrings were.

"I bet he's  a good kisser too." Jinki laughed. "Ok too soon? Awkward?"

That made Kibum giggle.  "You haven't changed at all. We've been so caught up in school and college applications that we don't get to spend as much time as we used to."

Jinki took a swig from his water bottle and nodded in agreement. "That's understandable. Besides we're  ....not how we used to be so that's a factor." Kibum's heart jolted at that sentence.

"Hey guys!" Jonghyun came running by. "I brought more wood for the fire and Taemin and Minho are done setting up the tent."

He leaned over and gave Kibum a sweet kiss whilst Jinki looked on. Kibum felt odd and so he shyly detached his lips from Jonghyun's eager ones. Surprisingly, Jinki felt no discomfort. The sight was pleasant and sweet. Jonghyun was a charming man.

After a few hushed whispers exchanged Jonghyun hurried over to the vehicle to get the food.

"Do you.." Kibum began, looking at his fingers. He wouldn't want to be disappointed by the look in Jinki's eyes so he opted to avoid his gaze, question pending. "Do you ever think about  us? When we dated? Do you remember? "

"Of course I remember even though it was such a long time ago." Jinki stood because his legs were suffering from the uncomfortable seating position. "3 years ago. Yeah but I don't dwell on the past. I'm about living in the moment."

Kibum finally lifted his gaze and saw Jinki looking back intently at him.

"Ok I was just curious."

"You're always curious."

Shrieks of laughter stirred them awake from their reflective moment as Jonghyun and Taemin fooled around by the tents and Minho just looked on, his face wearing a bored expression that was until he caught Jinki's stare and shyly broke the contact. Kibum saw that. He had an eye for detail especially in times where he'd rather not know some things like possibly something going on between Jinki and Minho. His heart lurched at the thought. Because after 3 years he still had a soft spot for Jinki.

"I'm guessing that's not the answer you wanted."

Kibum's silence was enough of an affirmation.

"Jonghyun is a better partner than I could ever be. We've been friends for so long and it works for us. Anything more or less could disrupt that dynamic." Twigs and dry sticks cried out in protest beneath Jinki's feet as he made his way to a solemn looking Kibum. "I don't want to take that risk."

Kibum the rubber bands on his arm.

"I guess I thought that this break was temporary."

"It was but then Jonghyun came along and piqued your interest." Jinki laughed. "But I'm glad. I like him for you."

Kibum's face was covered in confusion.

"We were 15, Kibum. A point in our lives when we were rebelling, experimenting  and discovering ourselves."

"A part of me will always love you. You tend to have that effect on people."

Jinki pulled an aegyo expression which warmed Kibum's cheeks.

"A part of me too."

Another shriek garnered their attention to see Taemin tackling Jonghyun to the ground.

"Come on. Let's  save him." Jinki offered a hand which Kibum took.

....

6 yrs later.

"Congratulations!!" Jinki embraced Kibum in a hug. It was the first time meeting physically  face to face in a while despite all the skype calls.

Kibum held Jinki tight in order to wholeheartedly  cherish the moment of Jinki being in his arms. It had been so long. High school was over in the blink of an eye and college just flew by them. Now they were into the real world like the young adults they were.

When they broke apart, eyes raked over faces and bodies. Nothing was said for a few seconds because an impromptu meeting demanded treasuring features you were accostumed to seeing everyday and getting used to them again.

"I'm sorry I  wasn't able to make the wedding. They scheduled me for a flight due to an emergency with another pilot."

Kibum grinned nonetheless. " I  see you're a busy man."  Jinki nodded and gestured to the tables nearby. They sat and ordered coffee when Jinki insisted that he'd pay. He was the persuasive type and Kibum gave in.

"How's Taemin?"

"He's doing very well. He's doing logistics so he always down by the harbour. He's  a man of the sea."

"And I'm  a man of the sky." Jinki chuckled.

"You are. You seem very happy doing what you do."

"I am. For many ,the sky is the limit but for me, it's home."

Their coffees arrived and Jinki thanked the waiter.

"How did you know Taemin was the one?" Jinki asked after a sip.

Kibum exhaled. "Actually he proposed one night when we went out for dinner. It took me by surprise. No one has ever done something so elaborate for me before. It was amazing."

"Charismatic indeed."

They continued catching up on their lives until the night rolled in from the hills. Kibum was a tad hesitant to leave when Taemin came to pick him up. However, they all ended up chatting for another 3 hours. Jinki realized Taemin had become a talker and boy did they talk.

.....

1yr 6mths later

It was a routine for Jinki and Kibum to meet and greet whenever Jinki was in town. Those meetings were few and far in between Kibum’s work schedule and Jinki having a second home in the States since he was based with United Airlines.

They decided to go to a social event instead of chatting over coffee. The club was refreshing and the atmosphere inviting. Jinki remembered Kibum as a dancer and he did dance away on the floor. The drinks kept coming but just a few sips here and there. They were responsible adults.

"I'm  going out for a bit." Jinki whispered when he'd gotten tired of the blasting music abusing his ears to the point where he couldn't hear himself think. With great force he penetrated through the thick, growing crowd and emerged into the cool, night air. He took a stick of gum and began to relax.

"There you are." Kibum smiled.

Jinki couldn't help how stunning Kibum looked with eyeliner around those eyes of his. How alluring and seductive. He wanted to get under his clothes and ravish that body. He wanted that back to arch and those lips to part in pure ecstasy. He looked away in shame. Kibum already had someone to do that to him. He was married for Pete's sake.

"It's getting late. We should go."

"Oh." Kibum said. "Ok." His voice void of enthusiasm.

"Minho and Jonghyun are gettig married in a couple months. Will you be able to make it?"

"I'll definitely try to. I can't keep on missing these  milestones in my best friends' lives."

Kibum nodded and jingled his car key in hand.

Jinki said his farewell and was about to wnter his car to leave when Kibum held him back and kissed him.

Jinki gently pushed him away. "Are you sober enough to drive? "

"I'm not drunk at all. Just buzzed. That's it."

"What you did just now.."

"I'm not drunk. I wanted to kiss you. Gosh Jinki, I always want to kiss you." Kibum blinked rapidly during his explanation. "Sometimes there's more. Sometimes I'm scared by how much I look forward to our meetings, emails and skype calls."

Jinki stood, motionless not knowing how he should respond to that confession.

"Taemin is your husband."

"I know . I know."

"If you guys are having problems,  talk it out, seek counseling but please don't cheat or hurt him."

Jinki got in his car leaving a sobbing Kibum.

......

5 months later

Jinki made it for Jonghyun's and Minho's wedding. It was a short, sweet and intimate affair. He took his current girlfriend at the time, Krystal. Taemin and Kibum were there too and they mingled. Taemin was so proud of Kibum, showing him off and boasting about and Jinki only felt guilt becuase of that kiss a few months back.

"Are you going to marry her?" Kibum managed to find him alone whilst Krystal was at the restroom.

"She doesn't believe in marriages."

"Then why are you dating her?"

"Because there's no pressure where that commitment is concerned."

....

2 yrs later

Jinki discovered Taemin and Kibum divorced.

"I love him but I wasn't in love with him. I married him becuase someone actually proposed to me. I just couldn't say no in front of all those people."

"I'm sure someone's out there right now looking for you." Jinki replied.

Minho and Jonghyun had a baby girl and Taemin migrated to Japan after the divorce was finalized. Jinki was surprised that he was the one to file for it. He wondered if Kibum had been too obvious about his feelings towards him. But that was what they were :feelings. Nothing more. Nothing less.

. ..

3 months later

Apparently face time and emails were too sublte for an insatiable kitten who wanted more and Kibum made that clear whe he showed up at Jinki's apartment unannounced, dressed in a coat and a bottle of champagne in hand.

Jinki was a man and he could only resist so much. So when Kibum pulled at the buttons of his coat,letting it fall to the floor, revealing every inch of his body to Jinki, there was no turning back. Not when Kibum clambered into his lap and slithered his way into Jinki's bed.

To Kibum,  love making became addictive with Jinki. Genuine feelings were involved and after yearning for so many years the wait was over. He never wanted it to end.

Jinki felt the same.

....

With Jinki being a pilot he away more than he was with  Kibum  but they made it work. Though Kibum took full advantage whenever Jinki had his day-offs.

"Taemin's getting married to this girl, Arisa. She's a model.  They complement each other." Kibum told Jinki as he perused his ex husband's instagram account.

"I'm happy for him." Jinki smiled. "Now drink this and feel better for the rehearsal."

Kibum and Jinki welcomed a little girl too their lives. Jinki took some time off from work to get accostumed to fatherhood. Minho was extremely excited.

"Our daughters can go on play dates and such." Kibum laughed at Minho planning ahead. Plus Minho and Jonghyun  were expecting again.

...

Jinki knew Kibum wasn't completely satisfied becuse there was still one step remaining: marriage. It was all the other ever wanted and it was what scared Jinki the  most. He feared change and possible disruption. They had a good thing going.  But he would do it for Kibum,  he would.

So when Jonghyun was performing on stage he jumped into the audience and handed Jinki the mike. Kibum instantly covered his mouth upon realization when Jinki removed the little box from his pocket.

"We've know each other since forever and despite our troubles we seem to alwayas find comfort in each other. All my life I've been a coward, never wanting to lose you yet never making the effort to keep you. Tonight I'll change that." The crowd erupted in a series of cheers. "Kim Kibum,  will you marry me?"

"Yes! A million times yes!"

....

"Were you really happy that I was with Jonghyun? Remember the talk on the camping trip?"

"I was. I was a coward too."

"Well it doesn't matter anymore, husband." Kibum pecked his lips and turned off the lamp.

He would never tire of this life as long as Jinki was by his side.

It's meant to be if it's meant to be :)