He doesn't know when it had all started, or how. He remembered waiting, always waiting, in the middle of the night in a half empty room. The darkness weighed heavy on him and loneliness pecked at him harsher than he had thought it would. He felt alone anyway, even though Chanyeol continued to snore softly on the other bed. He's waiting like he said he would, and it didn't matter that his lids had doubled up from staying up too late, didn't matter that he had to get up so early in the morning for another day. Another day of practice, another day for a show, another day to spend only to end up exhausted. He said he would wait, so he continued waiting.

But Sehun never came.

Perhaps Baekhyun should have known it was coming. Sehun stopped coming to him at night, Sehun's arms stopped finding their way around him and Sehun's eyes stopped looking at him like he was the best thing in the world. He was afraid of the truth, however, so he continued to believe that Sehun's feelings for him had not changed. At times Sehun still smiled at him, but he never know if it was because he had to or he wanted to. The smiles were no longer as warm as they had once been, brief and cold, like how friendly strangers acknowledge each other. Their schedules grew tighter, preventing Baekhyun from cornering Sehun for a proper talk. So he continued to be clueless to why Sehun grew cold, why he no longer kiss him goodnight. Why, where once Sehun never forgets to say the three words, now he stopped completely. The fear is real and it haunts Baekhyun's wake and sleep. 

He wasn't ready to completely let go of Sehun, even though what they have had been kept a secret so well that none of the members are aware. He loves Sehun and he was certain that his heart beats for their maknae but he is no longer sure if Sehun's still beat for him. He was scared, so very scared, but he hides it well.

It was on the way to Jakarta for their next concert when Baekhyun's heart cracked. 

He had never been so glad to have been given the opportunity to stand with Sehun while they await their flight, laughing to whatever joke Sehun was saying with their crew members around. It was just a little movement - an outstretched hand, fingers grazing Sehun's skin because he had missed it, missed touching his secret lover, a pure, genuine grin coloring his lips because he had missed Sehun, mostly. He missed Sehun so much he could have cried right then, if they weren't in public. He could and would have wrapped his arms around the younger boy and kiss his collarbones like he used to. But everyone stands around them, and Sehun seemed glad that they weren't alone. That, though, wasn't what hurt Baekhyun most.

Their manager had finally called them forth, announcing that their flight has finally arrived. Baekhyun had kept his hand wrapped around Sehun's wrist as they began to walk. It almost felt like in the movies, a slow motion of reality as if to purposely, slowly, rip Baekhyun's heart. Sehun, instead of returning the hand holding or even let Baekhyun hold his, had almost snatched his hand back. As if Baekhyun's touch hurt him, burnt him, disgust him. There was still a small smile that lingered on Sehun's lips, albeit a little forced as he walked on but it took a whole lot of energy for Baekhyun to keep his own smile, to not shed a tear or two. 

Sehun no longer love him like he had thought. 

His touch that once was Sehun's craving now became a disturbance. 

Perhaps he should have known it earlier, when Sehun stopped saying those words. Or even earlier then, when Sehun began to gaze at Tao the way he used to gaze at Baekhyun. He hadn't doubted Sehun's love, refused to be afraid that spending so much time with the youngest chinese would result in Sehun's change of heart. But what he should be afraid of is now the truth; Sehun had fallen out of love with him. 

Sehun's heart is no longer his to keep. 

A/N: It turned out lesser than 1k but lol who cares. I have a fluff coming, don't worry. I've been working on it for weeks. It'll come dear sebaekians, it will. As always, comments are always appreciated. THANKS FOR YOUR CONSTANT SUPPORT AND KEEP SHIPPING SEBAEK. <33