Minseok had come to the conclusion that he was a bit of an idiot.  Timing had never been his strong point, but proposing to Jongdae the day before he left for America might have been a colossal mistake.  If he said yes (Minseok knew he would say yes) it would mean no celebratory kisses, hugs, cuddle time, or less innocent activities.  Minseok was still replaying last night’s disastrous turn of events in his head as he waited to go through airport security.

They had been cuddling on couch after a date.  Jongdae was a bit sleepy, having gone straight from a long day at work to dinner, and then from dinner to the concert. Minseok had been gazing at him as he rested his eyes, thinking about what an amazingly beautiful, wonderful person Jongdae was. And then it slipped out.

“Marry me.”

“Wha?” Jongdae mumbled, called back to reality from his sleepy stupor

“Will you… um…” Minseok hesitated.  “I mean, if you want we could… get married, maybe?”  He couldn’t believe what he was saying.  But he somehow knew in his heart that he did, indeed, want to marry Kim Jongdae.

Jongdae looked at him questioningly.  “That was a bit sudden.” There was an awkward silence.  “Would you mind if I… thought about it a bit?” He got up and walked to the door. “I’m going home now.  You should go to bed. Your flight is really early tomorrow right?”   Jongdae paused awkwardly in the door way.  Jongdae paused to look back at him briefly. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” He promised, then Minseok watched as the door closed.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Minseok thought to himself as he boarded the plane.  How could he have been so careless?  He had completely forgotten about his trip in the moment.  He was so busy mentally beating himself up that he almost walked passed his row.  There was a blonde boy with a delicate face sitting in the seat closest to the aisle in Minseoks’s row. Trust his luck to be in the middle column of seats on the plane, not even in the aisle.  He pondered asking the boy to switch seats with him, but quickly rejected the idea.  Who would want to sit in the worst seat on the plane at the request of a complete stranger?

“I’m 34 E,” Minseok told the boy. Surprisingly, the boy didn’t just let Minseok climb over him to get to his seat as was the norm.  He actually unbuckled his seat belt and stood up into the aisle to let Minseok sit down more easily.

Once seated, Minseok pulled his phone out of his pocket. There no missed calls or even texted from Jongdae. Nervously, Minseok closed his eyes and selected his boyfriend’s number from his contacts.

Minseok waited with baited breath as the phone rang several times before going to voice mail.

“Hello, you’ve reached Kim Jongdae’s cellphone. Obviously, I haven’t picked.  If you care to leave a message, do so after the beep.”

“It’s me, Minseok.  My plane is taking off soon, so I just thought I might call you before-“

“Ah- sorry Minseok, I just woke up.”  Jongdae’s voice came in suddenly from the other end.“Er- Listen, about last night-“Jongdae cut off, as if unsure how to continue.

“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that…” Minseok told him nervously. “If you want we can just pretend it never-“Never happened? How could either of them ever forget that it happened? Minseok sighed.

“Minseok, um, these past months have been fun, but I’ve come to a realization recently.” Jongdae continued, Minseok held his breath.  “I like hanging out with you, hyung, but I actually think I want to just be your friend.” Minseok’s gut clenched.  His throat was suddenly tight.  “It’s just, I want you to find someone who really loves you in the romantic sense. I care about you, but I know that person isn’t me.  I don’t think I can do the whole long distance thing anyway.” Jongdae yawned. “So have fun in America, there’s sure to be plenty of cute boys over there, right?”

“Goodbye, Jongdae.” Minseok murmured, barely holding back tears, as he hung up.  This was the last place Minseok wanted to cry, but just then he couldn’t hold it in.  Silent tears were rolling down his cheeks. He rested his head on the back of the seat in front of him.  He didn’t want the boy sitting next to him to notice what was going on, he didn’t want any of these strangers to see him weeping pitifully.  He really wished he could be alone. He hated himself so much right then.  He hated himself for proposing to Jongdae, he hated himself for loving Jongdae, he hated himself for believing in Jongdae, and a tiny part of him hated Jongdae for being so damn lovable.

After the plane took off and the flight attendants announced that the use of electronics was now okay to use in Korean, Chinese, and English, Minseok couldn’t help engaging in a small self-pity party consisting of going through every picture and video he had on his tablet of Jongdae and trying to find the heart to delete them.  He could feel more tears coming as he skimmed through photo after photo, Jongdae smiling in his sleep, selcas taken with Jongdae, a recording of Jongdae singing in the shower, and video of Jongdae dancing stupidly to some popular song.  Minseok couldn’t find it in his heart to delete any of it.  Finally, he put away his phone and grabbed the crappy airline blanket.  Maybe sleep would stop him from thinking about Kim Jongdae.

A/N:

Thank you all so much for reading! This is my first exo fic, I hope you all enjoyed it~ This will probably be a twoshot.  In the next part there will be Xiuhan, or at least hinted Xiuhan, I'm also thinking it'll be called Arrival.  Xiuhan is my OTP, so I'm nervous about doing it justice.  Thanks again!