Dear Sungmin hyung,

I don't know when my admiration for you turned into something more, but I guess it's all too late now. I should've guessed that you're dating Sa Eun noona when the members pointed out the couple accessories that the both of you had. Sa Eun noona is nice, and most importantly, she is a girl.

I started avoiding you after you told everyone in the group that you're dating Sa Eun noona. That was a few days before our 6th Super Show World Tour in Seoul. I know that I shouldn't feel this way, because after all, I'm just your dongsaeng, your fellow Super Junior member. Who am I to feel jealous towards Sa Eun noona?

I first met you when our then CEO, Lee Soo Man introduced me to you guys, Super Junior 05. Everyone didn't treat me well then, probably because I'm just a new stranger that just joined you guys, and you guys had already been together for so many years, trianing together. Even though you too, hadn't been entirely nice to me then, but you were the most civil, and cared for me the most. As I slowly learn more about you, I started to admire you. You're strong. Even though things are hurting you, you'll try to hide it, and give everyone your brightest smile, because you simply do not want others to worry about you. I really like the positive vibe that you emit, and I wish to be like you some day.

I started watching you. When you're happy and smile, a smile would creep up my face as well. When you're down, but yet still smile for everyone, I just wish to rush to you, hug you, and tell you that it's fine to cry. When you laugh, I find myself laughing with you as well. I learned that you are a great martial artist, you have natural aegyo, you love the colour pink, though you are not the best in dancing, but you're still considered as one of the members who can dance well. As I slowly learn more things about you, I found myself being drawn to you even more. And slowly, my admiration for you turned into a crush. I don't know when and how it had happened, but I guess it just did.

Initially, after I found out that I had a crush on you, I thought that I would forget about my crush on you soon. However, as time goes by, I found myself falling for you more and more. And after a few months, I finally came to a realization that I've fallen in love with you.

It's fine to fall in love, I know. But this is wrong. I'm a guy, and you're a guy too. How can we ever be together, especially in this homophobic society. Hence, I just kept silence regarding my love for you. I continued to watch you from a far, not having the courage to confess to you.

But I'm glad I'm a guy sometimes. This way, we could do many things together, which I'm sure I won't dare to do with you if I'm a girl. The both of us would lock ourselves in our shared room and we would just sit together and drink wine, chatting about our work. I could hug you freely, without having others think of us suspiciously as it could be seen as an act of affection between friends.

But even so, sometimes, it's getting tiring. I just want to be with you, be your boyfriend, giving you whatever support you need. But I guess, it's all late now.

Just a few days before Super Show, during one of our rehearsals, you told all of us that actually, you're in a relationship with Sa Eun noona, and had been with her for a few weeks already. The members all ran up, to congratulate you. You simply stood there, with the brightest smile you have. I couldn't bring myself to congratulate you, so I just went to the washroom, hoping that no one noticed that I was there to listen to this news in the first place.

I started avoiding you after that, because I am really clueless as to how am I supposed to act normal with you when you already belong to someone else. I feel really sorry because you kept asking me why I'm avoiding you, but I just couldn't give you an answer.

A few days after our Super Show, we had our holiday. I went to Jeju-do with Changmin, hoping to forget about my love for you, and hopefully by the time I come back, I would be able to face you properly. However, your relationship news came out of the media. Sa Eun noona announced it to the media that she is in a relationship with you. I knew it wasn't your plan of revealing, because after knowing you for more than 8 years, I know that you are not the type who would reveal this thing to the media, well, at least not so early.

I kept wondering how are you, what was your reaction, how are you coping with all these. I know fans would be devastated. The "Kyumin" they ship, would not be the same anymore. The "oppa" they love, suddenly has a girlfriend. I know that the fans are supportive of us having a relationship, because some of them actually said that we, Super Junior, are old now, and needs to get married soon. However, I know that some who actually doesn't want us to be in a relationship at all.

After the news was released, I began checking the various SNS, seeing the fans reaction. Some people started scolding Sa Eun noona, some even scolded you. I know you wouldn't be able to take this well, and I just hope that I can be there with you to comfort you, even though I'm just a dongsaeng to you. But I couldn't do that, can I? I was only scheduled to be back the next day. Everyone would find it suspicious if I rushed back immediately. So all I could do is to wait.

At midnight, I saw Heechul hyung's instagram update. It broke my heart knowing that you had cried. You who never cried in front of the members. You who only lock yourself in the washroom to cry. You who cry while lying on your bed when you thought that I was already asleep.

Sungmin hyung, please stay strong. All the members will be with you to support you. We are your pillar of strength. I hope you will pull through this incident, and I will remain by your side, loving you silently. I just hope that you are happy, because when you are happy, I would be happy as well.

Always your evil maknae,

Cho Kyuhyun.

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After Kyuhyun wrote this letter, he folded it, and kept it nicely in the box with the other letters he wrote for Sungmin but didn't had the courage to give it to Sungmin.