[A/N:  Too many typo errors. ;; Mianhae. :3 And it seems like it's plotless. X)]

Flash.

Kyuhyun blinked thrice. He removed his thick-rimmed glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. The sudden flash made him feel a bit dizzy.

“You are more good-looking when you don’t have your glasses on Kyu~”

“Jongwoon hyung, you’re obsessing over me again.” Kyuhyun teased.

“I am certainly not. You’re too conceited little brat.”

Jongwoon was too absorbed by checking the photos on his camera. Kyuhyun fixed his gaze on his hyung. He chuckled slightly as he saw how serious his hyung. He noted that his hyung looked oddly cute as his brows were knitted into a frown, obviously focused on what he’s doing. He also noticed that his hyung occasionally bit his bottom lip while thinking hard, maybe if he should delete a picture of not. His almond-shaped eyes would turn into half-moon slits as he finds a photo funny. He snapped out from his reveries when he heard his hyung chuckling.

“What?”

“Kyuhyun daydreaming for the nth time: that would be the caption of this pic.” Jongwoon said, his eyes landed back on his camera.

“You should be paparazzi hyung. Seriously.”

“I don’t intend to invade other’s privacy Kyu.”

“But you invade mine.” Kyuhyun nearly pouted.

Jongwoon smiled at his dongsaeng, “Point taken smart brat.”

And Kyuhyun was still puzzled on how Jongwoon loved to take pictures of almost everything that surrounds him. He asked the older tons of times on why he loved photography. His hyung would only give him a smile and snap a photo of him.

One day, Kyuhyun asked his hyung again, “Hyung, are you obsessed with photography?”

Jongwoon didn’t answer right away. His eyes still glued on the newly printed pictures, carefully browsing each one of them. He occasionally chuckles. It’s as if he’s absorbing everything that’s in the picture.

“You sure spend a lot of money on photography obsession.”

“It isn’t obsession Kyu.” Jongwoon calmly said in his defense.

“What do you call that then? It doesn’t simply look like a hobby to me.” The younger pointed out again.

“I don’t know either…” he whispered.

“Eh?”

He pulled up a smile again, “Silly Kyu. You always raise points that make sense.” He ruffled the younger’s hair affectionately.

“Hyung please, you know I am a born genius.” The younger boasted.

“Remembering everything isn’t that burdensome, right?”

“It is hyung, especially when you remember things that aren’t supposed and worth to remember. Those senseless things that take up space on your mind aren’t helpful. There’s a possibility that people would forget things eventually, and that is beyond of their control. So if your memories would get wiped off without your consent, why would you bother to remember every single fiber if your memory?”

The two of them got eaten by silence.

“It is not a burden to remember everything… especially you.” Jongwoon whispered again and stood up.

“Hyung, you’re talking to yourself again.”

The older chuckled and slung his bag lazily on his shoulder, “Come on little brat, Heebongie wants you to eat dinner with us.”

-xx-

“Kyu~~”

                Kyuhyun always find it cute when his nickname rolls off from his hyung’s tongue. Despite the huskiness of the elder’s voice, it still sounded so childish, so adorable. And Kyuhyun won’t admit that it is music to his ears. He pretended that he didn’t hear the elder. He kept his eyes glued on his PSP.

“Kyu~~~” the elder called the younger again.

                Still, Kyuhyun ignored his hyung on purpose. He’s savoring another childish moment from his weird hyung.

“Kyuuuuuuu~~” And this time, Jongwoon slightly tugged the hem of the younger’s shirt.

“What is it Woonie?”

“You always forget to call me ‘hyung’.” The elder pursed his lips into a thin line. “Anyways, Can I post pictures on that side of your room?”

“What for hyung?”

“Picture frames are so clichéd. Scrapbooks are too girly. Can I have that wall?”

Kyuhyun chuckled. “No.”

“But… But… But… Kyuuuu~~ please? Please?”

“It’s still a no. It wouldn’t make you manlier. Scrapbooks are more creative hyung.” He teased.

“I just wanted to deviate from the usual stuff. You are such a wet blanket Cho Kyuhyun. How can you treat your hyung like this?? Unfair.” Jongwoon ranted.

“You always have your way hyung.”

“And you really love to tease me first before agreeing? Why can’t we just have things peacefully?”

Kyuhyun pinched his hyung’s cheeks. “I’ll be downstairs. Ahra noona might need help.”

“And seriously, Why am I friends with you?!” Jongwoon asked.

“Because I am too awesome hyung!” Kyuhyun shouted as he made his way downstairs.

                Jongwoon took out the pictures from his backpack and spread them on top of Kyuhyun’s desk. He concentrated on writing captions on it. He stood up and was about to post the picture on the wall but he paused for a bit. He stared at a pack of adhesive tape. His brows were knitted into a frown, seemed lost on what he was going to do. He focused on the adhesive tape, wondering what or where would he use that thing for.

“Hyung, don’t have a staring contest with the poor adhesive tape.” Kyuhyun spoke all if sudden, snapping Jongwoon out from his reveries. “Shall I help you post this pictures on the wall?”

“Ah yes… Help me with these Kyu.” Jongwoon reached for a ruler.

“Seriously hyung, a ruler won’t cut that tape. My tongue would be sharper than that.”

                Jongwoon placed the ruler back and stared a quite long moment on pencil holder.

“Aigoo hyung, give me the tape, you go and post that photos.” Kyuhyun got the pair of scissors from the pencil holder and started cutting strips of adhesive. “You’re getting weirder hyung. Don’t you lack sleep or something?”

“What the hell is happening to me?” Jongwoon only smiled sheepishly, “I am always weird Kyu…”

-xx-

                Kyuhyun graduated from High School and Jongwoon stopped going to the university. The younger never asked the elder, but it bothered him to be honest. Jongwoon wouldn’t just stop pursuing his love for music. There must be a huge reason behind that, but he couldn’t muster the courage to ask his hyung. Though they’ve been friends since childhood, Jongwoon is not that kind of person who would open up easily. Kyuhyun would coax everything out of the elder. But this time, he decided that he would wait for his hyung to tell him the reason. The weirdo needed to learn how to open up.

                His second year came swiftly, as the semester started, Kyuhyun promised that he would still make time for his hyung especially Heechul, Jongwoon’s elder brother, was away from the country due to his work, leaving Jongwoon alone. Days, weeks, two months passed, Kyuhyun became busier. He would only spare Saturdays to visit his hyung. At some point, he wouldn’t come. He would always call his hyung, assuring the elder that next time he would really make it up him. Those calls became text messages. And those text messages became nothing. Jongwoon would always tell the younger that it’s okay, that he understands how demanding it is to be in a university with all that school work and exams piling up. And the times that Kyuhyun promised became empty words. Sometimes, people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them. They would promise such, so that you won’t get disappointed at the moment but the bottom line would be, you were hoping for nothing in the first place.

                Jongwoon got used to it. Forgotten promises were like papers burning in fire, combusting in intense heat and turns into ashes. And the wind would sweep away those ashes and then it would be gone. Everything would be bound to be forgotten, in his case. And it wouldn’t be hard for him to forget things, they naturally slip off one by one from his grasp and eventually, everything would be in void completely.

-xx-

                Jongwoon knocked three times and waited patiently in front of the door. As the door swung open, he was greeted by a pair of arms enveloping him into a warm motherly hug. He asked himself, when was the last time his mother hugged him. He smiled wistfully, there’s no use in recalling it anyway. He was ushered inside and lead to the living room. Few moments later, a cake was placed in front of him. He stared quizzically at the cake sitting idly on the coffee table, challenging him to remember what the big event today is. His eyes still focused on the cake, he blinked several times, furrowed his brows and finally closing his eye as he heaved a sigh.

“Happy Birthday Jongwoon-ah~~~!” Mrs. Cho and Ahra greeted as they both emerged from the kitchen, holding gift boxes. “We wish you all the best dear!”

                Jongwoon felt his throat run dry, an invisible lump formed. He didn’t dare to utter a word of thanks, afraid that he would cry on the spot. He only nodded and managed to pull off a not-so-forced smile. And now, he was being squished into a hug by Ahra and Mrs. Cho.

                Mrs. Cho was busy cleaning up after they ate. Jongwoon insisted to help but Mrs. Cho firmly said that she wouldn’t let the birthday boy to do any work. And with that, Jongwoon decided to go to that backyard. The house wasn’t that big, but he was confused, he didn’t know how to get in the backyard. The house was mocking him, it made him felt so stupid. It’s been only half a year since he last made a visit but the house really disoriented him. He decided that he would climb upstairs. He carried the gifts with him, still unopened. Then he heard a hushed voice at the second door from his left or was it his right. He didn’t care anymore, he just followed the voice.

“CHO KYUHYUN! YOU INSENSITIVE BRAT!”

“Noona, I don’t have time to argue with you. I am busy completing an essay. And my professor would kill me if I fail to pass this one.”

“And that essay is more important than… Damn it Cho Kyuhyun! How dare you hang up the phone?! You are seriously dead when you get home! Uggggggh!”

                Sensing that Ahra would be coming out from that door, Jongwoon quickly entered the room next to it. He felt strangely familiar with this room. The blue walls, faint smell of apples, the messy cable wires, a PSP resting on the desk, shelves of medical books and few paperback novels ranging from different genres, and a turtle plushie resting on a single bed with blue and white sheets, all looked to familiar yet so foreign. He noticed the wall clock and then the empty wall next to it. The wall nagged him at an instant. It seems like it was never empty before. He just shrugged that feeling off and decided to take a photo of him using his Polaroid. He always carried that around. After having a photo of himself holding his birthday present, he scribbled something on the photo and inserted it on a random book. Kyuhyun forgetting his birthday isn’t such a big deal, he decided. Since, he himself didn’t remember that today was the day he came into life.

-xx-

                Kyuhyun was actually busy with school. Guilt has been chewing him thoroughly since day 1 but he needed to endure it. And as he made himself occupied with everything, he would groan in frustration, why does everything makes him feel so guilty about something that he can’t put a finger on it. Jongwoon already assured that he understood everything and that everything is fine but his subconscious would always scold: Cho Kyuhyun you knew better than that. Don’t be such an idiot. His subconscious would repeat it over and over again, serving as a mantra, but in Kyuhyun’s opinion, that his subconscious was like his mother nagging him with this and that. And mothers know best Cho, his subconscious snarls at him again, making him inwardly roll his eyes. This is stressing him so much.

                One thing was added to his thought bank. He was occupied with tons of school work, which made him realized that the elder’s presence has such a huge effect on him. He missed how his nickname sounded when Jongwoon says it. He missed that constant poking at his cheek, tugging at the hem of his shirt and surprise back hugs from the elder just to get his attention. He’s proud, Jongwoon never showers affection randomly. You would have been so close to his heart when he does that. And Jongwoon doesn’t have much friends. He only has Kyuhyun, Ahra, Mrs. Cho and especially his elder brother Heechul. He missed hearing that husky voice, that bubbly laughter that would warm you heart and those almond eyes that would stare at you, only at you. And it dawned to him that perhaps, he’s harboring feelings for his hyung. And it would be ridiculous. He should not label his feelings as romantic. Their friendship is deep and it only friendship alone, it isn’t with romantic feels. And with that, Kyuhyun focused on being busy again, busy surviving this college life and busy suppressing such feels.

-xx-

                A year passed, Jongwoon and Kyuhyun haven’t heard from each other. Kyuhyun was now having his Christmas break. He’s locked in his room, arranging his things for this is quite a chance to clean everything. One thing Kyuhyun learned as he was in the university, never slack off or else you better face ing consequences that would make your stress a hundred of folds worse. He was arranging his books on the shelves. One book slipped away from his hand. He bent down to pick it up and a picture slid off from the book. He sat on the floor and picked the picture. As his eyes landed on the photo and read the caption, somewhere in his chest twisted painfully. He recalled that was the day when his Ahra noona argued with over the phone. His noona never confronted him over the phone. He reread the words again and he felt oxygen-deprived for a second: Today’s my birthday. Kyuhyunie’s isn’t around. :’( Anyways, Auntie and Ahra were here. Wish that Heebongie was here too.

                He jolted up as he heard his noona’s voice outside. He took a peek at his window. He saw two figures outside, bathing the light from the street lamp. One was dressed warmly and the other seemed dressed inappropriately.

“Jongwoon oppa, come on let’s go inside. It’s cold.” Ahra begged. “Please oppa. You’ll freeze here!”

                Jongwoon only smiled at her and continued walking. Ahra grabbed his arm and with all her might she tried to get Jongwoon inside their house. With all her effort, she managed to do so.

“Eomma! Prepare something warm for Jongwoon oppa! I saw him standing outside barely clothed with winter clothes. Maknae-ah! Get some blankets!” Ahra shouted.

                Kyuhyun went downstairs carrying blankets. He was so stunned as he saw his hyung standing beside Ahra. Jongwoon looked so disoriented. He only wore pajamas and pair of slippers. Jongwoon looked at him, his almond eyes barely flashed any recognition of the younger. Then a loud knock disturbed all of them out from their respective thoughts. Ahra quickly opened the door to see a disheveled Heechul holding another coat.

“Jongwoon-ah…” Heechul breathed out. “Let’s get you warmed up first before going home.”

-xx-

                Kyuhyun tagged along with Heechul and Jongwoon on their way home. He insisted to come with the Kims since Heechul would need help with Jongwoon. The ride on the way was too quiet, Kyuhyun can’t figure out if the silence was out of comfort or awkwardness. But he swears he can feel tension. Knowing Jongwoon and Heechul for a long time, Kyuhyun knew there was something. They arrived safely and the first thing that Heechul did was tuck Jongwoon into bed. Kyuhyun stayed at the kitchen. After few minutes, Heechul came into the kitchen. He placed a manila envelope in front of Kyuhyun and sat opposite to the younger.

“What is this hyung?”

“Read it. You would understand that since it’s written on your jargon. It would answer all your questions.” Heechul calmly said.

                Kyuhyun felt more nervous. He can feel Heechul was angry and it felt weird that his hyung was holding his temper for such a long time. Heechul would lash out on the younger the moment he snapped already, but he didn’t. Heechul who’s cool-headed is totally surprising. And Heechul being so calm despite the tension he’s been hiding is really weird. Kyuhyun slid out the contents of the envelope and read them. His eyes grew wide at every word and he felt so weak.

“Our family has a history of that disease. Though genetic cases would happen at low probability, unfortunately, Jongwoon inherited it.” Heechul said as he made his way somewhere in their house. “Might as well visit his room when you gathered all your guts together.”

-xx-

                Kyuhyun carefully opened the door. Faint scent of apples welcomed him. Indeed this is Jongwoon’s room. He felt another wave of surprise as he photos literally littered the walls. He stood glued on his spot.

“Those pictures were pasted according to date taken Kyuhyun-ah.” Heechul stood by the door frame. “Take a closer look on them.”

                Kyuhyun did what Heechul said. The photos were taken from random times, stupid moments, and special occasions, literally everything. Jongwoon didn’t simply loved photography. It’s his coping mechanism. He prepared himself just in case he would forget everything. He felt so stupid, why didn’t he notice that. He’s been in loved with medical books since he’s young yet he didn’t notice that his hyung manifested such symptoms. But honestly, he focused only on himself, on how he would get rid of those romantic feelings for his hyung which grew as the day passed by, on how he would get through college and how he would sort things out and catch up with the lost time when he’s ready to face his hyung. His eyes caught that a photo of him. It was him bathing in gentle rays of sunlight as seemed to look up to the sky. He read the caption: My angel Kyuhyun. Never thought that this brat would look so beautiful, like a serene angel. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

                And with those words, he burst into tears. He tried to muffle his sobs but it only grew louder. As minutes passed, he can’t tell whether he cried enough. He felt someone tugged the hem of his shirt. He turned around and he was face by a Jongwoon who just woke up, worry was obviously etched on his face.

“Why are you crying?” Jongwoon tilted his head to the side, feigned innocence as he inched closer to Kyuhyun.

                Kyuhyun can’t speak. He was out of words. Guilt was strangling him furiously.

“Uljima~” Jongwoon reached out his baby hands, caressing Kyuhyun’s tear-stricken face and wiped gently the new stray tears that fell from his eyes.

                And with that Kyuhyun completely broke down. He pulled his hyung into a tight hug. He can’t bring himself to apologize. Words won’t suffice what Jongwoon felt and what he had gone through. He would never beg for forgiveness for his subconscious was right, HE ALWAYS KNEW BETTER. Regrets would really eat you on the spot once realizations were slapped in your face.