He will never forget how he met her. As she bumped against him at the airport in Seoul, bowed hundred times and said that she was sorry. “Mianhae, Mianhae, Mianhae, Jongmal Mianhae“, her beautiful voice repeated it again and again. He only nodded and walked way to catch his flight to Seattle. On the half of his way he turned around and saw her doing the same thing. “Mianhae”, she shouted through the airport hall and bowed. He smiled and bowed too. She didn’t recognize him. Maybe she was in hurry or something, he thought. But he didn’t know that he would meet her again.

“Min, I want you to ask you something.” he said. “What is it, Jaebum Oppa?” she asked with a huge smile.

“Be my girlfriend” he said and flashed a huge smile.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend” she said shyly. “I said it hundred times I feel very comfortable around you and I like you very much.”

“I can only say the same. I like you very much, too Sunmin.” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t do this Oppa! You make me blush.” She said jokely and hid him on the shoulder.

“Don’t do THIS.” He said painful with a smile on his face and rubbed his shoulder.

Then he grabbed her hand and walked through the dark streets to Sunmin’s house.

“Sunmin, do you know 2PM?” he asked suddenly. “2PM?” she asked clueless.

“Maybe you know the song. Again and Again?”

“2PM? Again and Again?” she said with a serious face. “Sing it for me maybe I know it.” He started to sing.

“Again and again and again and again

Sunmin recognized the song. “Ah. This song. This really catchy I like it. Do you work with this Band?” He can’t hide the smile.

“Oh. They are very famous? It’s a big hit for you?” she asked in excitement and hit him few times on the shoulder.

“I’m a part of this group. I want you to introduce you to my boys.” He noticed that Sunmin stopped walking. ”You are kidding me, right? You are not a famous singer or?” Sunmin laughed awkwardly. Jaebum didn’t say anything. He only looked at her and smiled. Sunmin noticed that he was not lying. “Jaebum… I don’t go out with you because you are singer. Really I didn’t know that you are singer. You know this is really not the kind of music that I listen to. I’m not the kind of person who would do such things. I hope…” Jaebum interrupted her as he pulled her closer and kissed her. He pulled back and looked at her. “Be quiet, silly. Sometimes you talk too much.” He smiled and kissed gently her lips again.

That was all on his mind when he was in the pharmacy to get some medicine. “Excuse me?” asked the salesclerk and waved his hand in front of Jay’s face.” Umm..ah.. Sorry. Can I get some medicine against flu please?!” he snapped out of his thoughts. Jaebum got the medicine he wanted, paid, said bye and left the pharmacy.

It was chilly outside. He pulled his scarf and his hat tighter to his face. Not only because it was cold, he didn’t want that someone would  recognize him. In his head played the last few weeks over and over again. Jay had his hand in his pockets and walked the way home.

Jaebum stood in front of his Manager’s room. He knocked a few times and then he went into the room. Sunmin laid in the bed. She was pale-faced and she only stared at the ceiling. Since she became ill Minjae moved out and gave his room to Sunmin.

“Min, my love. I bought you the medicine you need.”

Sunmin didn’t response. Jay went closer and saw her wet face. He knelt beside her and took her hand. Sunmin felt so bad. How could I do this to him? He loves me so much and all I can give him is pain, she thought. The tears ran down her face. She couldn’t look at Jay and not even speak. She hadn’t a clue how to say what was running through her mind. Jay was frustrated since she didn’t speak to him. He took out the medicine and gave it to Sunmin. “Sunmin. Babe, Look at me. You have to take it you will feel better after it.” Jaebum said softly to Sunmin. Sunmin turned her face to him and took bravely the medicine.

You will feel better, my . She will recover from the flu but not from the other thing, Jay thought angrily.

After this she turned her head away. Her tears were running like there would be never an end. He wiped away her tears with his thumb. Suddenly Sunmin began to sob. She bit on her lip and closed her eyes. Then she noticed Jay’s hand around her face and then his lips on hers. He backed away a little bit and looked straight in her eyes which were open now.

“It’s okay. I will stay by your side till the end but look at me and talk to me!” he breathed. Sunmin only his face. Jaebum knew what this meant. Today was not the day and he understood this. He kissed her once more, but this time more passionate, but at the same aggressive. Then he stood up. Before he left the room he turned around and looked at Sunmin. She smiled weakly at him. Jay smiled back. How much he loved this girl. He closed the door behind him and exhaled.

Jaebum went to his room and he couldn’t hold his anger anymore. On the half way he dumped into Wooyoung, but without a word Jaebum passed by. Wooyoung was perplex. He screamed after him. But he didn’t get a response except a slammed door. Wooyoung knew that was Jaebum mad at himself. Then he heard noises from Jay’s room.

Jay threw and kicked all the things that were in his way. He was totally frustrated. It was difficult for him to hold his anger in front of Sunmin. His anger against himself. He couldn’t believe this all. Why didn’t he notice that was something wrong with her? Because she didn’t seem ill the last months. Jay didn’t know what to do. He knew he couldn’t do anything, it was too late she made her decision many months before. He would lose her and he couldn’t stop it. This fact made him so mad at himself. Jay was helpless and he couldn’t stand this.

FLASHBACK

Jay stood nervous in front of his Manager’s room. Sunmin was in the room with the doctor. Jay was totally worried he found her unconscious in the living room. He hoped that it was not something serious.

Aish, Why take this so long. I wait over 20 minutes now, Jay thought

Jay was tired of waiting. He wanted to see Sunmin, to see that she was okay and wanted to hold her in his arms. Suddenly the doctor came out.

“Is she okay?” Jay asked. The doctor doesn’t answer. “Doc, what is wrong? What is wrong with Sunmin?” Jay was totally worried now. What could be wrong? Sunmin seemed healthy the whole time. Okay, the last few weeks she was suffering under headaches and dizziness. At first Jaebum thought she was pregnant, but that didn’t make a sense he never slept with her.

The doctor exhaled. “Sunmin’s condition isn’t the best. I don’t think she will make it long with the cold she caught. It makes her condition even worse. It’s like a miracle that she lives 5 months longer. The doctors in America said she would make it only 5 months. I think you made her stay alive. I really want that she goes into the hospital, but she made her decision when she came back to Korea.”

“W-W-What? What are you talking about she won’t live any longer?” Jay asked in disbelieve.

“You didn’t know? Sunmin suffer under a brain tumor”

Brain tumor!? Sunmin suffer under a brain tumor. These words repeated hundred times in his head. He won’t believe it.

“Your’re kidding right? Sunmin and brain tumor.” Jay laughed a little.

The doctor patted Jay’s shoulder sadly “I’m sorry Jay. I will come every day and check on her.”

END OF FLASHBACK

Jay wanted to cry but he couldn’t. He didn’t know why. It was only the anger in him. He reached out and wanted to punch the wall, but then he noticed that someone hold his arm. “Jay, calm down.” said Taec behind him and pulled him away of the wall.

Sunmin heard it all. She heard that Jay threw with things, that Wooyoung called the other boys to calm him down and she heard their whole conversation.

"Jay, calm down” said Taec.

“What should I do? She heard Jay’s shaking voice. “I will lose her and I can’t do anything against it. If I knew it earlier maybe I could do something, but it’s too late. I will lose the girl that I love.”

“I know it’s frustrating. We are all sad that we can’t do anything. She is like a sister. Jay, give her the best last day in her live that is all that you can do.” Taec said.

Sunmin sobbed uncontrollable. She felt guilty she hurt so many people. So many people that the loved. After a while Sunmin got really tired and felt slowly in her sleep. She heard the quiet voices from the boys outside. The voices were like a lullaby for her especially Jay’s voice. Before she drifted in a deep sleep she mumbled “Mianhae Jay. Mianhae my beloved boys.”

Jay wanted that Sunmin’s last days as well as possible. When they didn’t have any schedule he stayed the whole day with Sunmin. The most time he slept next to her on the floor. It was hard for him to concentrate on his work. Jay was afraid that he couldn’t be there when her last day will come.

Two weeks passed by and Sunmin’s condition got really worse. Sunmin knew today must be the day to explain everything to Jay. She didn’t know why she couldn’t say these weeks ago, but it must be today, because she knew her last day will be soon. Sunmin was tired to lay the whole day in the bed so she wanted to sit. Jay was worried when she said that, because her condition was not the best anymore. He helped her up and then they both leaned against the wall on the bed. Jay had his arm around her waist and Sunmin rested her head on his shoulder.

“Jay. I’m so sorry for all this.” She said with closed eyes and a tired voice. She got tired very fast lately. Sunmin had the feeling she would fall asleep very moment. “Mianhae. I hurt you I hurt your brothers.” He looked at Sunmin she looked so much in pain. His heart broke every time when he saw her in this condition. He really wished he could take away her pain. “It’s okay. You must have your reasons.” He tighted his grip around her waist.

“Nothing is okay. How could I know I would meet and fall for you!? I think God doesn’t want me for long to be on earth, but the last present I got from him was you. I shouldn’t live my last month alone so he gave me you. Jaebum, you are my angel. You are the reason why I lived 5 months longer but in the end I only hurt you. Is this my thanks to leave you hurt, because I wasn't honest to you?” Sunmin choked.

“Babe.” Jay lifted up her chin. Sunmin tried not to close her eyes. She was so tried. “You gave me the most wonderful 10 months in my live. Min, I was never mad at you I’m only worried about you. I want to take the pain away from you it hurts to see you in this condition. I’m only mad at myself, because I didn’t notice that something is wrong.” Jaebum put a streak behind her ear and tried to smile at her. “Jay.” She said faintly and a tear ran down her cheek. Jay’s heart broke to see her in that way. With his thumb he wiped away her tears then he kissed her forehead and placed her head again on his shoulder.

Sunmin exhaled and started to tell him why she didn’t tell him earlier. “When I was 11 I got diagnostic the first time with brain tumor. We moved to the U.S. My Mom wanted the best for me. They could operate but I had to make a chemo and radiotherapy. It was terrible,  but I fought against it and recovered. I got 2 relapse after my first recover. I fought against it and recovered again. With 16 I could start to live a nearly normal life. I had to make regular check up. 4 years ago I got a relapse again and then I decided not to go to the hospital anymore. I didn’t want to stay my whole life in the hospital. At first my parents didn’t want it but then they understood and let me go. I came back to Korea because I missed Korea all these years. I wanted to have my last months in my motherland. Do you remember the 2 weeks where I’ve always said that I’m too busy to meet you? In this 2 weeks I thought about not to meet you anymore, to leave you alone. But I couldn’t I was selfish ,because I started to fall for you and not to see to you hurt too much.”

Jaebum couldn’t say anything the thought that she suffered so long hurted him so much. He stayed quiet and listened to Sunmin’s tired voice. “And I didn’t know if you feel the same. Then we came a couple I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t find the right time or I didn’t have the courage. I was afraid that I would lose you. I had my times then I forgot I was ill to death. Jaebummie I can’t remember the last time when I was so happy.” Sunmin laughed a little. “I don’t why I laugh is not funny after all.” She continued. “I wanted to tell you the last 2 month but you were always so busy and then I got the headache and so on. The day I fainted I decided to tell you. I never wanted that somebody except me would tell you that. The doctor apologized to me that he told you. Mianhae that I tell you all this too late. You know I had never secrets towards you. I don’t know what was wrong with me.” Jay looked down at her. Her eyes were closed and he knew every moment she would fall asleep.

“Min my love. Brain tumor or not my feelings would never change. I’m glad you stayed by my side besides I will lose you. You were always in my mind since I met you at the airport. You gave me something that I could never forget. I’m happy that I could make your last months as well as possible. And I wasn’t honest to you at the beginning either” He didn’t want it to make too long. He wanted that Sunmin could rest. He saw the little smile that formed on Sunmin’s face. “Treat you next girlfriend well and make her happy like you made me happy.” She said with a quiet voice.

Let’s not talk about the next girlfriend when my girlfriend sits next to me, Jay thought sadly.

How cruel it seems that he said beside I will lose you he had to say it, because it was the true and they couldn’t deny it. He heard her heavily breathing and knew she was sleeping. Jaebum didn’t regret that he met her and that he loved her.

Suddenly he heard her mumbled “Saranghae Jay Park.”

It was the first time that she said that she loved him. She only had written it, but never said it because she hadn’t the courage before. But today she wanted to say all the unspoken things. She knew her time was up. Jaebum was totally moved of her sudden confession. He looked down at her, saw that her eyes were half open and a little smile on her face. “Saranghaeyo Choi Sunmin” he said with a little shaking voice and kissed her. After that Sunmin drifted into a deep deep sleep.

After a while someone knocked on the door and then Taec opened the door. He looked at Jay with a face full of questions. Jaebum only shook his head and then Taec left the room. He head that Taec told it the others and they all started to cry. Jay didn’t dare to move a little. His heart ached. After 10 minutes all 6 stood in the door. Their faces were floated with tears.

“Come on Jay.” Said Junho with a quiet voice. Jay stood up and lifted Sunmin up. Jaebum headed the last out of the dorm with Sunmin in his arm. The way out he looked at Sunmin. She looked so peacefully like she was never ill and never had to suffer like the past few hours, months and years. The tears that Jay wanted the last weeks stormed now out of his eyes. He couldn’t believe it that she was gone. He was happy and sad at the same time. Sad that she was really gone and happy that she hadn’t to suffer anymore.

He didn’t realize that Sunmin was taken out of his arms not until his arms felt empty. They laid her on the stretcher and put the white blanket over her body. The other 6 surrounded Jay and started to comfort him as they watched the ambulance drove away. Jay didn’t say a word he only shed unstoppable tears. Min, my love. I promise you I will stay strong!, he thought. He didn’t hear what the other said to him. Only one sentence repeated over and over in his head. Saranghae Jay Park. A little smile formed on his face.