We just stood here at the station and looked each other into the eyes. We faced each other and I clutched his hand. We gazed into our eyes and talked about the things which we had already talked about a thousand times before. But it was one of those days again where we had to talk about it, because it was one of those days where he ignored me and we fought.
 

His eyes. His beautiful brown eyes.  For hours I could just stand here and look in his eyes.
“How many times did we talk about it?” I asked softly.  He only smiled. How much I loved it.
 

No one  said something. I only stood there and looked at him and noticed that my eyes started to get teary. With his free hand he me a streak out of my face and I bent my face slightly in his gesture.
 

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered.
"Nichkhun, I can’t hear it anymore.”I smiled weakly.
 

The first tear ran down my cheek, and Nickhun's hand slid from my face.
I was speechless.  I shrugged helpless my shoulders. Frustrated I placed my want on my head and stammered
“Nichkhun… You… I. Nickhun it’s not your fault.”
Then the next tears ran down my cheeks. Without a word Nickhun pulled me in his embrace.
My hands laid on his chest and I hid my face in his shoulder.
I didn’t care that our friends were watching and I didn’t care what they thought, or thet they would interpreted everything wrong.
 

“We don't belong together, don't we?” I mumbled in his shoulder.
I noticed that he shook his head and said “No, we don’t”
I choked a little and confessed  “I wanted to marry you.”
Nichkhun didn’t say anything. He just patted my head.  I looked up and pouted. “Really. Nichkhun you are the one that I wanted to marry.”
He smiled tiredly. He wiped my tears away and answered “If you never let me be with Sohee I will marry you.”
I rested my head again on his shoulder.

I was so selfish.  At this point I only thought about me. I couldn’t let him be with another girl. Not now!
My hands wandered to this neck and buried themselves in his hair.
“Promise?” I asked quietly.
“Promise, if I won’t have a girlfriend in 10 year I will marry you.” He said and laughed quietly.
“I’m so sorry with the thing with Sohee but I can’t yet. I’m not ready.” I confessed.
“Yea.” I only heard Nichkhun say.
Even I didn’t look at him I knew he was sad. It’s hurt so much. I couldn’t do this.
 

I lifted my head and now we stood like at the beginning and looked us in the eyes.
“Nickhun?” I asked.
“hmm.”
"I love you.”
“I know Harin. I know.” He answered sadly and tighted his embrace.
Ashamed, I looked down. “I’m so sorry.”
Nichkhun kissed my head.
 

“Harin. We have to go.”Nickhun said after a while and pulled away from the embrace.
We walked a few steps and  then he pulled me back into his arms.
He smiled and said “Come on. Harin smile!”
I wiped quickly ,with the back of my hand my tears away, and smiled at him.
 

It was like that if you are inlove with your best friend and he would be just your best friend.
Often I thought Nickhun was the most beautiful thing that I met in my life.