I head back to my dorm, watching the sun set slowly, wondering how long I’ve been in younha’s room. I look my phone to check the time and head back to my dorm.

As I got to my door, I felt something strange inside, as if I shouldn’t enter, but ignored the feeling anyways. As soon as I put my key in and turned the lock, I could hear scrambling going on inside of the room. My first immediate response is to barge in there, in case someone broke in.

To my horror, I see Kibum on the ground, with this white powder-no not white powder, . I look away and leave my dorm room, with Kibum yelling in the back.

“Wait Jonghyun! Let me explain please.” I shut the door, holding back the tears as I walk away. I don’t know where I am going, it doesn't matter as long as it isn't here.

I run out of the dorm building, wiping the tears away. The image of what I saw a few moments  ago burns into my brain. How could he not even tell me… Why is he doing this to himself? His face… It looked so ashamed of what I saw, It looked so desperate. 

I was so disgusted that I can’t even think of him as a person. It’s like every characteristic that made him human vanished, he was nothing… It wasn't like I wanted him to be nothing, I wanted him to be someone… My someone. 

I stumble down the walkways of the campus for an hour, as my tears stain my face. I don’t care if anyone sees me like this… in fact, I couldn’t give a if even those bullies saw me. I started feeling pain in my chest, a feeling I never felt before… anger… anger towards kibum but, why was I angry? I mean he is the one doing this to himself… he is doing drugs… HE is the one going on this downward spiral.

I put my mind off Kibum and just stop walking, looking around at my surroundings. Nothing looks familiar to me, everything just looked foreign. I start to freak out. My breath starts to shorten, every breath gets harder- as if my someone grabbed my lungs with their hands and started squeezing it tightly. I try to move, but my legs don’t budge. I felt like I was frozen in time, suffocating in fear. The next thing I know, everything turns black.

I feel as if I am floating through space, weightless in an empty abyss. A part of me is terrified of the unknown but the other part embraces it. A part of me wants to know what lies beyond… I start to hear a voice nearby.

“Jonghyun…. I’m so sorry….” The voice says. The voice sounds familiar, but I can’t put my mind on who it was. I float, listening closely to the voice. 

“Excuse me sir, I’m sorry but you should leave the patient alone… He needs time to recover.” The female voice says. It sounds like they are talking to each other… I wonder who the patient is though? And who this strange guy was.

“Look, I ed up big time here right now… Don’t be telling me what to do… I need to talk to him, I NEED to hear his voice… see his gentle smile… even at least look into his eyes.” The male voice started to shake a bit. “Do you know what it is like to get lost in someone’s eye? It’s one the best things ever… It’s like time leaves you and all you want to do is stare at this person endlessly and every second of it is just… just so worth it.” For some reason, what he said touched me, and I just forgot I was floating. Suddenly I start seeing this strange light heading closer to me.

I wake up in a hospital bed, staring at the white light above me. I turn my head to see Kibum sitting in a chair, crying while a nurse looks at him sympathetically. I reposition myself on the bed to see what was going on, causing the nurse to look at me.

“Oh! You’re awake now Jonghyun… Don't move around too much, you don’t want to use up all your energy.” The nurse said.

“What happened…” I ask, trying to recollect my thoughts and memories. “Why… how did I get here?”

“Well, Someone on campus found you on the ground laying there. It seems like you hit your head on something hard when you fell, because your head started bleeding. Luckly, there wasn't any serious trauma.” The nurse calmly said. “I will leave you and your guest here to talk… If you need anything please buzz the main desk.” she smiles as she leaves.

I sit there in silence, not looking at Kibum. It wasn’t because I was angry at him… I was just trying to figure out what happened. I remembered running out because of what I saw at the dorms… but I can’t seem to grasp what happened afterwards or where I was.

“Jonggie… I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you but I just didn't want-“

“Just leave me alone please… I want to sleep.” I interrupted. It wasn’t like I wanted to say that, but something just came over me… I really do want him to stay with me but, this is just too much for me to handle right now.

Kibum sits there in silence for a few minutes before heading to the door.

“I will head back to our dorms… I hope you get better…” He leaves a note on the end table near my bed and leaves the room.

I stare at the note before I attempt to grab it, just to be interrupted by a the the door swinging open.

“OH MY GOSH JONGHYUN I JUST GOT THE TEXT FROM KIBUM ARE YOU OKAY?!?!” Younha blurts out as she runs up to me. “WHERE DOES IT HURT?? GAHH I’M SO STUPID, IT HURTS WHERE THERE ARE BANDAGES…” I smirk for a second.

“Calm down, I just fainted and hit my head on something… that’s all, I am fine now.” I say, glancing over at the note Kibum left.

“Well, I’m glad your okay!!” She begins to reach into her bag. “I got you some food and other things to make your time here go by fast!” She starts to take out item after item from her bag, ranging from food items to stuff like books.

“Thank you…” I look at her speechless. “You really didn't have to do this you know… I probably will be out of here in less then a week.” She smiles as she starts setting the items on the desk and shelves near me.

“That doesn’t mean you have to suffer here!! I will tell kibum to get your homework and text books-”

“NO… I mean its fine… plus I’m not in the mood to see Kibum right now..” or ever. Younha looks at me with a slight frown.

“You know… I don’t really know what happened with you and Kibum but I could tell something was up when he texted me…” She sets a teddy bear near me and smiles. “They way he texted me just didn’t feel right, as if something bad happened… whatever it is though I hope you work it out with him, what you guys have may be new but was strong from what I have seen” I smile at her, as she heads out to the door. She turns around and looks back again. “Also don't forget to go to sleep before 11 pm and take the vitamins I got for you every morning!!!”

“Okay I will, mom.” I joke. She chuckles and exits the room.

I lay there for  awhile, thinking about what Younha said. We did have something good but I don't know why a part of me doesn't want to be with him. I then remember the note that Kibum left on the table and reach over to grab it. It was neatly folded piece of notebook paper that was obviously ripped out of one. I opened it and read what was inside it.

“Jonggie… I am writing this note to say I am sorry for what you had to see. When I was a teenager I went to a party where they had drugs and curiosity killed the cat… The next thing I knew I was out on the lawn of the house where the party was. Ever since then, I experimented with drugs for 2 years, before I knew I had a problem… Luckily Younha and her mom helped me get over my addiction. Today… I don’t know what happened, I was walking back to the dorms from class and saw someone selling drugs and I just couldn't stop myself… It was like something inside me took over and then I was suddenly snorting coke… I never bought this up because I wanted to forget it, but the past has gone back to haunt me… I don’t think I can’t stop it this time. I don’t want to hurt younha or you… After everything you been through I just want you to be happy and I just can’t let give it to you if I get hooked again… I can’t give anyone happiness if I am like this.

Goodbye Jonggie, I’ll love you forever.”

A/N: I'm finally back!!!! This chapter took me like 6 months to work on XD I really wanted to get things going so I decided to really further develop the charaters and make them more complex. I'm sorry about the cursing, but it is very essential for this because it really shows the anger Jonghyun is going through. Thank you all for sticking this long and I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Have a great day ^.^