I watch the love of my life playing with the flowers…giggling and talking all by himself.  He looks happy, pure and innocent.  Since day one I met him, he never fails to amaze me with his cute looks.  I mean who wouldn’t love a cute little bunny named Lee Sungmin.  He’s beautiful…more beautiful than a girl, a foxy doe eyes, a cute little nose and his y pink M-shaped lips complemented his milky white skin.  Sometimes I wonder what I have done in my past life to let me deserve him.  Sungmin is cute…Sungmin is nice and kind hearted.  He once hurt me but that’s okay.  I know he never meant to do that.  Besides, now we are always together although not all the time but still I content with what happens to us.

I am still watching him pick the flowers when a butterfly catches his attention.  His eyes grow wide and slowly he tries to catch the beautiful butterfly with his palm when the insect flies away.  Sungmin sits on the ground, pouting, while mumbling something under his breath but that does not make him try again to not catch it.  He stands up once again and walks slowly.  When he comes nearer, the butterfly flies again higher this time.  Sungmin jumps around like a five years old kid and shouts.

“Yah, come back here!  Let’s play together and teach me how to fly like you!”

Sungmin whines loudly and still jumping like a little bunny, attracting some of people attention at the small garden.

“Minnie!”

Sungmin turns his head to me and pouting.

“Come here, baby.  Time to eat.”  I wave to him as a signal for him to go to me.  It’s lunch time now and I bet he is already hungry as he is known as a food lover.  I prepare the lunch box on the wooden table contains his all time favorite food.  Pumpkin soup with bread and some home-made sushi I made last night just for him.

When he is nearer, he sits beside me and looks happily at the food.  His eyes sparkle with amazement and he is already drooling.  He looks at me and smiles cutely.

“Is this all for me? Can I eat it now?  Can I?  Can I?”

“Sure.  Help yourself.”  I smile back at him and pinch his once skinny cheeks.

Without hesitation, he picks the chopstick and starts digging his food excitedly.  I am amaze with the way he eats.  He keeps shoving the sushi in his small mouth without choking and I can only see the blur image of his hands picking the food.  That’s how fast he eats.

“Wow, this is good.  I never know you can cook this well before this.  When did you learn?”  He asks me but still keep on eating.

“Slow down.  The food will not gonna be anywhere.  Well, I learn it just for you.  Are you happy?”

Sungmin grins widely and nods his head.

“This is so good.  That makes me love you more, Donghae.”

At the mention of the name, my smile drops and replace by a twinge of pain in my chest.  Sungmin who realizes my state, frowns and held my face with both of his hands.

“What’s wrong?  Did I say something wrong?”

I shake my head and form a fake smile to him.  “It’s nothing, baby.  I’m just remembering stuff.”

“Don’t do that face again.   It is soooo not handsome.”

He continues to eat his food and sometimes smile at me.

“Is this how it will always going to be?”  I whisper softly and Sungmin’s fluffy hair.

***

I have been friends with Sungmin since forever.  We knew each other in and out and every secrets we shared together without fail.  I also knew he has a birth mark on his cute and sometimes I always use that to .  In school, we were the most popular duo since both of us had been crowned as the flower boys.  Most of the students admired us including boys and girls and everyday we will receive many confessions but we rejected it nicely but that did not stop them to pursue us.  We never dated anyone and I knew Sungmin also did not have any crush to anybody.  If he had one he will already tell me and somehow it made me feel at ease.

Yeah…I love Sungmin…more than a friend…more than a brother.  But I was not confident enough to tell him.  I was scared he would leave me and as far as I can see Sungmin was a straight guy.  Here was some evidence.  He really likes Song Hye Kyo and once he told me he will do anything to have a dinner date with her.  I knew it sounds silly since she is a famous actress but still it convinced me Sungmin likes woman.  He never swoons over any guys.   That did confirm my suspicion.  Sungmin was one hell of a straight guy although he never dated anyone.  Maybe he still does not meet with his type.

I always thought we will never be together as a lover and I can only be contented by being his friend but one fateful day, a new student enrolled in our school.  He was not too tall but he was good looking and resembled a fish somehow.  By one look, I was sure the girls would have a new target to swoon over.  I brought my body closer to Sungmin and whispered to him.

“Lucky us, Minnie.  The girls will not chase us again after this.”  But I got no reply.  I looked into his eyes and what I saw was something I never saw in his eyes.  I saw admiration and sparkle in his foxy eyes and his lips curled into a small smile.  Sungmin was never like this.  He never had this look on his face although when the first time I introduced him to my cousin, Siwon.  Siwon was a one hot guy and ever girls were willing to be his slave just to be with him but Sungmin never showed this kind of reaction.

Since that day, I knew my friendship with Sungmin will be drifted away.

Every day, Donghae was that…Donghae was this…Donghae gave me that…Donghae gave me this.  What hurt me the most was the day when Sungmin accidentally told me he already made love with Donghae.  His face was all red and he bit his lower lips nervously.

“Ey, what are you so shy about?  It’s normal since both of you are lover.  It’s no big deal with me.”

It was a big deal to me.  He should be mine!  I knew him first!

“You’re not mad at me because I try to hide it from you?”  He asked me with his small voice and played with his fingers.  A sign of nervous Lee Sungmin.

“Why should I?  Sooner or later you still told me right?  Besides, it’s your personal thingy.  It’s not my right to meddle with.”

He beamed and hugged me tightly.

“Thanks, Kyu!  You’re the best!  I love you so much!”  Sungmin nuzzled his head at the crook of my neck and I felt he smiled in content.  I pat his back.  How I wished his ‘I love you’ was in a romantic way but beggar couldn’t be choosy, didn’t they?

“I just want to ask you one thing.”

He broke our hug and looked intently at me.

“Don’t you ever forget me, got that?”

He smiled back and snuggled closer to my chest.

“I will always remember you, Kyu.”

***

Sungmin kept his promise.  He never neglected me and sometimes he gave his attention more to me rather than Donghae.  I knew Donghae was jealous but I assured him that Sungmin only loved him.  So much.  Donghae was one possessive boyfriend although he didn’t show it and when Sungmin focused his attention to me, Donghae would grit his teeth to control his temper and when Sungmin noticed this, he held Donghae’s hands softly and pecked his lips.  Nobody could resist that and everytime this happened, I could only wallow in self-pity.  To tell the truth, I was ing jealous!  I was so jealous until I felt that I wanted to grill Donghae alive but I know Sungmin wouldn’t like that.

“Where are you going dressing so nicely?”  I asked him one night when I saw him wearing not like usual.

He pouted and smacked my head.

“I already told you tonight is my first anniversary with Donghae!  How could you forget that?”

Ouch!  Now I remembered tonight is their first anniversary.  Sungmin kept on repeating it every minutes and I just happened to forget it.

“Well, why should I remember?  It’s not my anniversary though.”

“Bad Kyukyu.”  He stucked out his tongue and moved to the shoe rack.  I followed him from behind.

“Are you going home tonight or you will sleep at Donghae’s house?”  I asked him while watching he put his shoes on.

“I don’t know yet.  I’ll let you know later.  Bye, Kyu!”  He pecked my cheeks and like a fool I was, I grinned and touched the spot that he landed his kiss.

It was already 3:00 am and still no messages or calls from Sungmin.  I started to worry and pacing back and forth in our shared apartment.  When I tried to call him, it went straight to the voicemail box.

“Where the hell are you, Lee Sungmin?”

I knew he was with Donghae but I couldn’t stop myself from being worried.  Somehow I could feel something bad had happened to them because Sungmin never once failed to inform me when he would get home late or he would stay at Donghae’s house.  At this point, I rather him to be at Donghae’s house.  Yes, I would feel jealous but that was better than worried about his whereabouts.

Suddenly, I got call from unknown number.  This better be good.  I was not ready to receive a bad call early in the morning.  Usually, when people called you at this time it only meant one thing.

Bad news.

My hand was trembling as I was about to pick up the call.

“He-hello?”  Damn, I stuttered!

“Mr.  Cho Kyuhyun?”

“Yes, talking.  Who am I talking to?”

The caller introduced himself and left me unspoken.  The only thing that lingered in my mind at that time was only Lee Sungmin.

Right after that, I rushed to the hospital and my heart dropped when the doctor explained to me what happened and I felt relieved when he said nothing serious happened to Sungmin but unfortunately Donghae could not be saved.  He died because of bad injuries when he tried to save Sungmin by using his body as a shield.  That caused his body to crash at the window and threw away from the car. The doctor left me alone sat on the chair.  Now, how I was going to tell Sungmin about this knowing how much he loved the guy?

The first time he opened his eyes, his first question was Donghae’s whereabouts.  I wasn’t intending to tell him but later how much I tried to keep it as a secret he would know eventually.  After three days, I wasn’t ready to tell him but since Sungmin already throwing a tantrum and not eating his food and medicine I decided to tell him.  It wasn’t good for Sungmin to neglect his health.

When he heard that his lover already dead, he just let out a chuckle but his eyes were already brimmed with tears.

“You’re lying right?  Donghae will never leave me…he promise to be with me come hell or high water.  This isn’t funny, Cho Kyuhyun.  It’s not a right time to joke about that.”

I shook my head and hold his hands.

“Look at my eyes, Min.  Do I look like I’m lying?  Donghae’s gone.  He will never come back…I know he promised you he will never leave you but it’s his time to go already.  He have to go whether he likes it or not.”

“No…no…this is just a dream…Donghae is still alive.  You’re lying to me…do you think I didn’t know you’re jealous of us?”

That was the final straw.  The pain from Sungmin’s words sliced my heart.  Just how could he say that to me?  To his own best friend?

Sungmin kept on shaking his head and his tears pouring heavily.  Suddenly he struggled to get away from my arms and start shouting loudly.

“Donghae!  Donghae!  Don’t leave me!  Bring me with you!”

I hugged Sungmin tightly but that did not make him less struggle in fact he became more aggressive.

“Let go of me!  I need to go!  Donghae is calling me!  Can’t you hear that?”

“He’s gone, Min!  Calm down, please!”  I pushed the emergency button because Sungmin was uncontrollable now.  A minute later, the doctor came with three nurses and they held him tightly so he cannot move and the doctor injected something in his veins.  Sungmin slowly became weak and his eyes slowly closed but his lips still muttered about Donghae.

After a week in hospital, Sungmin was allowed to go back and right after we arrived in our shared apartment, he went into his bedroom and locked himself up.  I knew he still needs time to recover from the shock so every time it was time to have breakfast, lunch or dinner I will prepare his meal and left it in front of his door.  I knew Sungmin ate it because every time I went to his room to collect the dishes, there was always empty dishes in front of the door.  The first three days, I heard some sobbing late in midnight but nowadays I heard nothing.  But I didn’t know whether this was my illusion or not, I heard some giggling inside Sungmin’s room.  I tried to ignore it but my curiosity beat me.  One day, I knocked his door and called him.  It had been nearly two weeks he locked himself in the room.  It was not good for him to keep on mourning over Donghae’s death.  I knocked on his door twice.

“Minnie, open the door.  I want to come in.”

I thought he will refuse to open it but I met with a bright smile of Sungmin opening the door.

“Donghae, you come!”  He launched forward and hugged me tightly.  Shock is understatement when he called me Donghae.

“Where have you been?  I was waiting for you to come and I really really miss you!”  He whined and pecked my lips.  If this happened before this, I will gladly kiss him back since I’ve been longing to kiss his lips as long as I can remember.

“Why are you not talking?  Are you not happy to see me?”  He pouted and stomped his feet like his usual self when he was with Donghae.

Sungmin, what happen to you?  What happen to my Sungmin?

My heart clenched so hard.  Do you really love him until me, Cho Kyuhyun, your best friend, you saw as your late boyfriend?  But I knew…this was not he wanted…finally, I did something what I thought I should do at the moment.

“I love you and of course miss you too, baby.”  I hugged him back this time and he grinned widely and pushed his body further into my embrace.

“I love you too, Donghae.”

***

I smiles sadly at the thought.  Sungmin never recovers from his illness.  I bring him everywhere to cure him but he still did not show any improvement.  What more at the early days of recovering, Donghae’s family kept on blaming and pressured him. Everyone advices me to bring him to the mental hospital but I refuse.

Sungmin is not crazy!  He is just too in love with Donghae.

“Donghae, why are you not eating?  Want me to feed you?”  I snap out from my reverie when I heard that cute voice.  I smile at him and nod happily.  He traps a bulgogi and brings it to my waiting mouth.

“Here comes the train.  Aaa…”

I gladly open my mouth and Sungmin shoves it with a cute smile.  I munch the food and start caresses his fluffy cheeks.  Sungmin just grins and leans into the touch.  He stares into my eyes deeply and says those words.

Words that are not meant to say to me.

“I love you, Donghae…”

If this is the only way for me to be with him, I’m willing to be the other person as long as we are together forever.

“I love you too, Sungmin…”

 

 

a/n: this story is nonsense. bye.