000

Prepare yourself for a very long one shot.

Dongwoo grinned and bowed continuously, thanking as many people as he could on his way out. His bright and dazzling smile always spread to other people, and it was something that would always lift his heart. Being able to give a piece of light to another person’s day was always satisfying.

“Are you coming back to the dorm for dinner?” Woohyun questioned him as they briskly walked through the back exit. Though greeting fans would be nice, it was just too chaotic. All the shoving and pushing was a hazard, and the crowds were overwhelming.

“No, I’m going to visit Eojin tonight.” Dongwoo waved at his fellow bandmates as he headed towards his own car. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

There was a chorus of goodbyes and there was even a ‘have lots of fun!’ from Sungyeol, which earned a good slap on the shoulder from Sunggyu. Dongwoo was chuckling as he got into his car, but he felt it slowly fade into nothing as his surroundings became empty. There was no one to impress; no one to laugh with.

He rummaged through his backpack, finally finding his phone at the very bottom after pushing all the contents everywhere. After a while of staring at his phone, he began to question his plans – what if Eojin was busy with overtime at work since he didn’t call her in a day’s advance? What if she wasn’t even in Seoul, what if she was with her parents all the way in Gwangju? Dongwoo had no idea, since his schedules were usually too hectic to allow him to constantly contact her.

Dongwoo wanted to surprise her, but he didn’t want to end up knocking on the door to an empty apartment unit. He groaned and gently hit his head against the steering wheel before dialling Eojin’s number.

“Hey.” Eojin picked up after three rings. If it was her calling him, he’d probably pick up after the third try at calling.

“Hi.” A small smile graced his lips as he heard her voice. Dongwoo would always be teased by his bandmates whenever he had a phone conversation with his girlfriend – even if he was in the midst of being frustrated with something, his mood would change completely. “Are you home? I wanted to come over and eat dinner with you today.”

“I just got back from work.” Eojin sounded tired, and it made Dongwoo guilty. All of his schedules ended late, which meant that dates would only work out at night. “Did you finish all of your schedules yet?”

“Yeah.” Dongwoo fumbled around with his keys, trying to get the right one with only one hand. “I’m leaving the broadcasting station right now, so I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“Be safe on your way here, Dongwoo.” Eojin said. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Eojin was a ball of sunshine as she flitted around the kitchen, trying her best to make dinner in fifteen minutes. She had already been prepping food before Dongwoo called, but since he did, she had to make more food so that he would be fed properly as well.

It was only a weekly occurrence that she would be able to spend time with Dongwoo, so she made sure that everything would be perfect each time. Of course, they had a few days where they would have a small quarrel over different opinions, but they always tried to make it up as soon as possible. There were also days where she wasn’t feeling great, but Dongwoo always managed to cheer her up.

“Did I die and go to heaven?” Dongwoo’s voice cut through the sound of the stovetop fan. “How did you manage to make something like that in just fifteen minutes?”

“Magic.” Eojin took off her apron and ran to the front door, giving Dongwoo a huge hug.

Dongwoo let out an oomph from the impact, his grin widening as he pecked her on the lips. “Well then, magician Eojin, make the food appear in my hands right now.”

“It’s still cooking.” She laughed as she headed back towards the kitchen. “I was preparing food before you called, so I was partially ready.”

“I thought you said you just got home from work?”

“I did. I was making dinner for myself after I got back.” Eojin winced as her words sounded lonely and sad.

Dongwoo instantly picked up on it, but he didn’t want to bring down her mood.

“Let me do the rest.” He took the apron from her hands, only to have it taken away from him a heartbeat later. Frowning, he tried to take it back, only to be dragged over to the dinner table and forced to sit down.

“You’re probably tired from your schedules today.” Eojin kissed him on the cheek before turning her attention to the pan full of food. “You can entertain me with more of your bizarre stories while I make you a meal.”

There was a short pause in their conversation before Dongwoo started one of his anecdotes of the day. “During the photo shoot today, Myungsoo…”

Dinner had been an hour of laughter, as the two exchanged stories that had built up over the week. They continued talking even as they cleaned up the dishes, and after that they had relaxed on the couch while watching television.

“It’s getting a bit late,” Eojin said as she glanced at the wall, “we should get to bed soon.”

“You wash up first.” Dongwoo offered.

“You should, since your schedule starts early in the morning.”

“I’m being gentlemanly and letting you take your hour long shower first, and here you are rejecting it?” Dongwoo feigned being hurt as he put his hand over his heart.

“Oh, stop that.” Eojin giggled at him before hauling him off of the couch. “Go, it’s almost one in the morning. What time does your schedule start tomorrow?”

“Six thirty.” He groaned while trudging into her bedroom. “I have to go over choreography with Dongmin and show him a few of my ideas.”

“Wake up at six, then?” Eojin eyed his phone on the coffee table.

“Preferably half an hour before I have to leave.” Dongwoo replied before he entered the bathroom.

Eojin waited until she heard the water turn on in the shower, and then she literally lunged at Dongwoo’s phone. Drawing a pattern onto the phone’s screen, she grinned when it faded and showed the home screen of his phone. Dongwoo was the type of boyfriend to be extremely loyal, and he never hid anything from her.

“Dongmin, Dongmin…” She uttered to herself as she scrolled through his never-ending list of contacts. Finally, she found him under ‘The Choreographing Master”, which made her laugh hysterically. Eojin took a deep breath and pressed on the call button, hoping that Dongmin wouldn’t be too angry.

“Hello, Dongwoo?”

“Hi!” Eojin cheerfully greeted back. “I’m Park Eojin. I was wondering if there was any way for Dongwoo’s schedule to start a bit later for tomorrow?”

“Actually, I was just about to call Dongwoo about that.” Dongmin let out a long sigh on the other side of the phone. “My daughter was just admitted into the hospital for enteritis, so I can’t go tomorrow. Since he already sent me a video demo of his suggested input, I have a pretty good idea of what he wants to do.”

“Oh, I hope she gets better! She’s always so bright and happy.” Eojin frowned. “I’ll tell Dongwoo about that, then!”

“Yeah, she’s still pretty upbeat even for someone who’s sick.” Dongmin chuckled lightly. “We’re pressed on time for the choreography, so I’ll send Dongwoo a video over Kakao later in the day tomorrow. Thanks for being the messenger for us!”

“No problem.” Eojin smiled.

It was two in the morning and Dongwoo was wide awake. Thoughts were running everywhere in his mind, and he just couldn’t fall asleep at all.

Dongwoo slowly untangled himself from Eojin, praying that he wouldn’t accidentally wake her up. He let out a breath of relief as he slid off the bed and stood up, his hair a complete mess as he dragged himself towards the bathroom.

He had no idea why, but he felt like complete and utter crap at that moment. All the wrongs he had done, all the things he hadn’t done to make something right – they were all drowning him and he felt like he was useless. It was always him giving the laughs to other people; was it because they didn’t like him? Sometimes their laughs did seem a bit too hysterical to be real. There were also people who didn’t like him because of how kind he was – they all said that he was faking it just to look good. Was he really treating people nice just because he wanted to seem like a down-to-earth idol? Did he get lost into having an angelic image?

There was also the trouble of being a boyfriend. He wasn’t always there for Eojin, and he was usually too busy to pick up calls or send any calls. They couldn’t go out often because it would result in being mobbed by fans. Their relationship was basically just seeing each other at home, eating dinner or breakfast together, and then the rest was texting. One of his concerts had happened to land on Eojin’s birthday, but there was obviously no way that he could ditch his own concert to go out on a date with her. There was also no way that Eojin would ever want to spend her birthday at a concert in a crowd full of screaming fans. He was a horrible boyfriend.

He spent a long time in the washroom pondering over his thoughts, not even knowing that he had been crying the entire time. Dongwoo only realized it when Eojin’s drowsy voice called his name, and he miserably tried to stop while wiping his face with his hands.

“Dongwoo, are you okay?” Eojin started to kick the covers off, but her attempts were sloppy due to being half awake.

“Yeah, I am.” Dongwoo mentally cursed as his voice cracked. He was still overwhelmed by his sudden onslaught of emotions, and he couldn’t stop crying.

Dongwoo turned off the lights to the bathroom and bit his lip to stop any sound from escaping. He moved silently back to the bed and lied down, turning over on his side so that Eojin wouldn’t be able to see his face.

Wordlessly, Eojin hugged him from the back with her left arm. It instantly made Dongwoo choke on a sob, and he went back to crying audibly as Eojin used her right hand to play with his hair.

“I… I’m a horrible person to you.” Dongwoo let out a shaky breath as he tried to speak clearly. “I can’t do simple things like taking you out to a restaurant for dinner, I can’t take you out on a date to an amusement park. I can’t go on a walk with you to enjoy the cherry blossoms in spring. I can’t even say I love you back over the phone whenever I’m at my schedules. What kind of a boyfriend am I?”

Eojin didn’t respond as she gently twirled a lock of his hair around her finger, letting it go after a while and combing through his hair to get rid of the twirl.

“Every time I see you, I feel like I have to make you smile. If I don’t, then I’ve failed in my job of being a boyfriend. It’s the only thing I can really do for you since I can’t do anything else. In fact, I feel as if it’s my job to make everyone around me to smile.” Dongwoo continued blubbering. “I don’t even know if people like having me around. They smile or laugh at me because I make them, not because they’re happy to see me. I’ve made so many mistakes, too.”

“Dongwoo…” Eojin breathed out quietly.

“Sunggyu told me to be positive, but I don’t know how to. I just… can’t.” Dongwoo whispered. “I’m sorry, Eojin. I wish I could be better.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Dongwoo. You’re human. You’re not ever going to be perfect.” Eojin softly said. “You weren’t made just to make someone else smile and laugh – your life wasn’t given to you for you to make as many people happy as possible. It isn’t your job to make everyone smile. That job is left to their significant other, or their closest friend, or their family members. Even so, their job isn’t meant to be constant. People need breaks, and we can’t always be making others smile.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m not up to par.” Dongwoo turned around to face her after mustering up all his courage to show her his tear-stained face. “I’m not good enough; at least for you I’m not. You deserve someone better.”

“I don’t deserve anyone better than you. I have my flaws too, Dongwoo. I’m not as strong as you, I show my annoyance easily and I don’t get along with everyone. I need to improve on being calmer in certain situations.” Eojin brushed his hair out of his eyes and then placed her palm on his cheek. “It’s normal to have flaws. In fact, I wouldn’t love you if you had no flaws at all. Not being able to do the usual things that couples do is what makes our relationship special – we cherish our time together. We actually appreciate each other.”

“But I wasn’t there for you every time you needed me.” He mumbled, not as insistent on his opinion anymore.

“Because you can’t always be there for me.” Eojin stated simply. “You’re not me. You can’t be there every single time. It’s normal like that, and if you actually can… well, I’d report you to the police for being a stalker.”

Dongwoo laughed hoarsely before giving Eojin a kiss. He snuggled closer to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Thank you for being what I’m not.”

“You’ll improve over time, even if it’s little by little.” Eojin yawned and bowed her head so that her chin touched the top of Dongwoo’s head. “Remember that where you are right now, is also fine.”

Dongwoo hummed, and minutes later, he was sound asleep without any thoughts to pester him.

Eojin lazily glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand, noticing that it was almost three in the morning. A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips as she knew that Dongwoo would sleep in, and then wake up and freak out over being late to a cancelled schedule.

“Eojin! Why didn’t you wake me up?!” Dongwoo shouted as he came charging out of the bedroom half-dressed and half-asleep.

“I didn’t have to.” Eojin grinned, completely amused by how ridiculously adorable Dongwoo looked. “Dongmin called while you were in the shower last night, and his daughter was admitted into the hospital for enteritis so he couldn’t make it today.”

“Oh,” was all Dongwoo said as he stared at her.

Glancing at the clock, Eojin gestured for him to sit down at the dinner table. “It’s almost nine. I made breakfast, so you can head off to your schedule after you’re done eating.”

Eojin turned around and almost skipped into the kitchen – his reaction had been plain hilarious. She felt bad that he probably almost had a heart attack, though. His silence wasn’t abnormal, as he was probably recovering from the false panic of being late.

When she turned around to joke with him, she found herself only centimeters away from Dongwoo’s face. Eojin stumbled back towards the counter, only to be followed by Dongwoo as he kissed her without hesitation.

“I love you, Park Eojin.” Dongwoo smiled as he pulled away.