Hi guys okay so this chapter is kind of a filler and i apologize its not that long either but ive been feeling kind of blocked? Idk anyways ill try and upload a chapter worthy of someone's time when i can -____- i hope this doesnt bore you to death ...

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            I don’t think I’m an especially nice person, not compared to most people anyway. However when I entered high school my image suddenly changed from being the average decent guy to being a stone cold heart breaker. Apparently my first girlfriend had felt our entire relationship to be callous and unfair so she decided to tell the entire school about all the “wrong doings” I had done to her. Cheating, abuse, lying. You name it, she said it all and slowly everyone began avoiding me. That is everyone but the random girls who would sometimes find it hot to meet a “not so nice” guy and would openly come after me. I shrunk into myself, putting up locked walls and plastered a smile on my face to hide my true self.

            “Hey did you hear? That guy Yong Junhyung was with another girl last night,” I was just helping out a middle school girl who had fallen on her way home “They were holding hands on their way to his place to yooou knowwww!” I only walked her home since it was dark outside…

            So I would smile and hide how much their words hurt, clawing at the walls I had built up to defend myself. The only place I could feel safe was when I went home to my family. My dad had past away a few years ago but my mom and sister were always smiling as soon as I came through the door. My sister’s only a year younger than me and she was the happiest person I knew, always a bright smile on her face.

            When I would get home sometimes feeling more upset than usual my sister would follow me into my room and sit on the floor near my bed quietly reading a book and humming to whatever song she was listening to on her iPod. She didn’t say much but as I would lie on my bed replaying all the untruths of the day, having her beside me would help calm me down. If she felt like I wouldn’t be too annoyed she would grab my hand and pull me up forcing me to dance to a song I couldn’t even hear.

            Everything changed for her when she started high school, her best friend had recently gotten a boyfriend and they would spend most of their time with his friends. Till this day she never told me what exactly happened but I know that it all started with Jang Hyunseung. He was a boy in their group that was quieter than everyone else but Namjoo would always say that even though they didn’t talk much, she felt like he was the only one who she wanted to see when they all hung out. When she told her best friend, they both planned for her friend to go and talk to him for Namjoo. But her friend’s boyfriend was very possessive and when he saw Namjoo’s friend receive texts from Hyunseung and caught them secretly meeting he assumed the worst and lost control.

            Hyunseung was suffering from a mild case of epilepsy and when the boyfriend had started beating him he had gotten a sudden seizure. He died before even being able to reach the hospital and ever since then Namjoo had blamed herself for his death. Each night she would wake up sweating and crying as she yelled that she was sorry over and over again. It’s not that she had necessarily loved the boy, but the guilt from his death had driven her over the edge as she sunk deeper and deeper into depression. My mom had started getting bags under her eyes and she would cry all the time alone in the bathroom when she thought I had already gone to sleep. I told her to switch her shifts at the hospital to night time and that I would take care of Namjoo. That’s when I became Namjoo’s source of strength; I stopped caring about how tired I was because I knew she was more tired. Every time I was close to suffocating from being around people