T u e s d a y

He looks so innocent at this state. I looked down at us and smiled weakly. We were hugging each other after he agreed that he would hug me every night and we would tell each other ‘I love you’ before we go to sleep. Yesterday seemed to be a dream but it’s not. This gorgeous man sleeping beside me whom I adored with my life had hurt me so bad.

It still hurts.

Just as when I thought nothing more could go wrong, the harsh reality slapped me hard. All this time I did everything not to let him know. But that was it. I already made a promise to myself and I will keep it for as long as I live.

I have loved Sehun with all my life and I always will.

Breakfast was still silent. I would catch him steal glances at me but I didn’t mind. Instead, I gave him the sweetest smile I could make. While he was on the shower, I already prepared his things so it wouldn’t be a hassle for him. It’s been awhile since I last acted like I was his wife. I was busy, really busy figuring out certain things and I don’t want him to get involved with it.

I don’t want to cause a burden and I’m afraid I might just lose myself if he will know.

“Aren’t you going to work?”

Sehun asked me while striding his way to our walk-in closet with a towel on his waist.

“…No. I took a vacation.”

He didn’t respond, which I think was a good thing. I hate lying. But I had to do it.

I handed him his lunch and I could see his straight face contort in a way I couldn’t comprehend.  I gave him a peck on his cheek and waved him goodbye as he drove his way to work.

I closed the door and leaned on it for awhile. I don’t know if he will do what I saw yesterday and as crazy as it sounds, I decided not to care. The only thing that matters to me now is that I have to make this one week a memorable one. I don’t want to die with only sad memories to treasure.

…

Yes. I don’t have much time to live. I have this rare heart disease even I couldn’t pronounce properly. It was so rare no one still hadn’t discovered the cure for this but the only thing the specialists were sure of was that I don’t have much time left.

Don’t take pity on me though. I mean, everyone dies for christ’s sake. It’s just that…maybe I had my deadline a little too early than the others.

For months, I flew different parts of Korea to look for doctors and they tried different treatments and medications with me. They even insisted that I should be confined in the hospital but I couldn’t risk Sehun to suspect anything. I don’t want him to know. I’d rather endure not having to communicate with him. That would be the last thing I would want to happen. What he thought he knew was that I was busy with different projects for the House of Belle, the company I used to work in.

He didn’t know I already quit my job. He didn’t know I was sick. He didn’t know I was going to die sooner than he thinks.

I was getting tired. My body feels weak from all the injections and god knows whatever medicine I’m taking. I know it all too well. I knew the treatments aren’t working so I decided to finally stop all the medication and just live my life for as long as I can. I decided to consume my time left with that one person I treasured the most: Sehun.

Funny it was him I have trusted my heart with for the rest of my life but he was also that one person who can be capable of destroying it.

Ironic, isn’t it? Just as when I had planned everything I found out he was…cheating behind my back.

I swear the moment I saw him close to ing his secretary, I wanted to kill the b