Eunhyuk POV

*Flashback*

"Hey Eunhyuk, are you okay? seems like you don't want to hang out with me these days?" Donghae says

Eunhyuk's face becomes stiff. "Are you kidding me Donghae? You're the one who's leaving me behind! Your always with that freak, what is his name again? Oh right, Siwon"

"Don't call him a freak or else I'm going to get mad at you." Donghae's face was so serious while he was saying that.

"Fine, It seems like Siwon is your bestfriend now, heh"

"Siwon is not my bestfriend... he's..."

"What?"

"Siwon is my boyfriend you see, I'm sorry if I'm keeping it  to you, I don't want you to be awkward with me because I'm not straight"

Oh God, it hurts so much

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Ever since that day, I can't look at him straight, everytime they are together, I can't take it. My heart really can't take it. I keep repeating to myself that I'm just his BESTFRIEND and nothing more. Our feelings are not mutual. I'm the only one that is inlove with my bestfriend. While him, he's inlove with somebody else. And it hurts me so much.

I also keep thinking and telling myself that whatever happens, Donghae will not love me like how I love him. First because yeah I know, he has a Siwon now. Second is that, he only see me as his bestfriend. 

Why? Why can't it be that he will change his mind and love me instead of Siwon? Is it really that hard to love your bestfriend after all the moments we had together? Why? Is my presence are not enough to make you fall for me? Huh? Donghae?

I remember when the time that we are talking to each other, bonding you know, you told me that if you were a girl, you're going to fall for me because you like me. Why are you like this? Don't you know that that gave me hope that someday... someday you'll fall for me? My heart really hurts you know.

There are times that he is with me... well of course Siwon is also with us. Whenever I'm looking at them, I can't take this jealousy that I'm feeling. Hey, are you two mocking me? I'M OVER HERE FOR PETE'S SAKE. I'm like an invisible man over here. Are you two really that blind? I'M HERE YOU KNOW. So am I going to pretend like, okay, I'm going to keep this happy whatsoever face until I come home? Okay, it's better than crying whenever I'm with you Hae. Whenever I'm with the two of you. I really think that you didn't care for me, for your bestfriend, that stays by your side whenever you have a problem.

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So here I am. At my apartment . I'm not living with my family because I told them I want to be independent. And they understand me.

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So what am I going to do now? It's night time already, Am I going to sleep with this feeling? Feeling of losing my bestfriend? My one and only because he doesn't have time for me anymore? So yeah.

I lay down in my bed, check my phone if Hae texted me... but none. No text, Usually, Hae will text me saying:

"Are you at your apartment now?"

"Do you need me there?"

"I miss you bro, Can I sleep there?"

"Are you okay there? Text me, okay? Love yah bro."

Sht, I miss those days.

I browse my phone, and yeah, on my gallery, There are many picture of us together. The time when we are on an amusement park, everytime we go out, we always take pictures. If we don't have it, it will make our day incomplete.

there is a picture of us that I really love. Seeing it makes me cry. The F Hae. Why are you doing this to me? Now I can't stop this stupid tears from falling. Thank you Hae, Thank you for hurting my heart you bastard.

But, I can't help thinking that it's my fault also. Why? Because I never confess to him, because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that he will reject me. I'm afraid that if I'm going to confess, it will break our friendship. I'm afraid that he will stay away from me. I'm afraid.

I fell asleep while my stupid tears are falling down on my cheeks.

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I love you for the nth time, stupid fish Hae.