There is that period of time in childhood when everything is butterflies and rainbows and fluffy clouds that asume different shapes. Oh Sehun lost his first three kisses in that blissful period, to three different people whom he loved a lot.

The first one happened when he was seven years old. Luhan, his neighbour, had persuaded him to take the neighbourhood swing to an all-time-high and Sehun agreed, despite seeing, very obviously, that it was a horrible idea, because Luhan was persuasive like that when he turned his huge smile on him and his eyes were reduced to little crescents on pale skin. So when Luhan had pushed him a little too hard and he tumbled from the swing at its peak, he couldn't say that he was too surprised. What did make him cry, though, was the fact that he landed on his face and he bit his lip a tad bit too hard, until it split and bled all over his shirt. Luhan was apologizing so many times over, but it went unheard as Sehun bawled, salty tears stinging his badly cut lip and running over his bruised face.

"Sehun, I'm sorry. My mommy said that giving a kiss might help the pain go away." The cut hurt. The cut hurt a lot, and so did the bruises all over his arms and face. 

"Luhan it hurts," he finally whimpered out around the cut and Luhan's face fell further. "Okay. Kiss me." Anything to make the pain go away, Sehun thought.

Luhan's lips were soft and hesitant, like melting marshmallows in a cup of hot chocolate, dotting all over his face and tracing a map over his bruises. And like Luhan promised, it helped. Finally, Luhan placed a soft kiss on Sehun's lips, kissing away the blood and the pain. It must have looked weird, two young boys kissing, legs sprawled out and tangled as they sat on the playground floor, summer flying around them in a gentle, warm breeze. But Sehun didn't care, because it worked, and all the blood and the pain was gone, so he hugged Luhan, like he always did, breathing thanks in his ear and against his neck. And Luhan laughed and hugged back, because kisses worked, and all the pain was forgotten and long gone.

~

The second one was initiated by the other party, if it counted that way. Sehun was nine, enroaching on the exit of childhood, and Luhan had invited him and their entire bunch of friends to a slumber party at his place. There were four of them, Sehun, Luhan, Jongdae and Baekhyun, and Sehun loved each and every one of them as brothers.

Perhaps he should have known better than to sleep next to Jongdae (who was clingy awake and even clingier in sleep) and give away his second kiss so easily, but Sehun realized he didn't actually mind when he woke up in the middle of the night with Jongdae curled up around him, half of his mouth pressed against Sehun's lips. He recalled the time that Luhan had kissed him, and the comfortable pressure of Jongdae's lips against his own made him turn his head and let the entirety of his mouth press against Jongdae's feline, thin lips. He liked kisses, Sehun decided, smiling distractedly as he pulled Jongdae closer, revelling in the shorter boy's warmth.

Soon, though, he realized he couldn't breathe properly, and he pulled away, letting Jongdae's head loll against his shoulder. The boy let out a whine in his sleep, perhaps at the lack of warmth, and instead buried his face against Sehun's neck, lips finding purchase on smooth white skin and fingers curling against Sehun's collarbones.

Sehun's second kiss taught him many things, even if the other party was asleep and didn't know the existence of the kiss. He learned that he liked kissing, because it was warm and fluffy and made him have tingly butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He learned how to trace over the contours of someone's face with soft fingers and thumbs, and count the eyelashes fluttering against high cheekbones even in the dark. He also, realized, that maybe, he might not just see guys as friends, and he might want more, crave more.

~

His third kiss tasted like soured milk, shadows and slipppery, coppery liquid. He couldn't really remember the hazy details presented and hidden by the fog cloaking his mind, but he remembered enough of the cold pavement and the heat of fire crawling up his fingers and his limbs. And he remembered the lack of heat in the body pressed against the shattered windscreen, glass sticking out of her forehead and red painting her body like a canvas.

His throat was raw, voice scratching and clawing out of his body, but he managed to unbuckle himself and crawl to the front seat, ten year old body still small and nimble enough to fit in the gaps.

"Mom?" That didn't sound like him, voice cracking and ever crevice in his body trembling in fear. He shook her arm softly, because he knew that it wasn't polite to wake people up too violently, but she didn't wake, and he was quaking when he pulled at her shoulder and she fell atop him, a dead, cold weight against his shoulders.

He didn't really understand why, but there was pain in his heart, worming in the pit of his stomach as hot tears flowed down his face and his breaths escaped in short, erratic puffs. When the stifling pain in his chest heated up, he just wanted it to disappear, like Luhan made it so long ago on the playground, and he was so cold, he just wanted to be warm again, like that night when Jongdae clung to him and his lips met the other's. So he leaned forward and pressed kisses all over his mother's face, shoulders, lips, but there was no warmth, just the coppery slick and shadowed pain creeping up against him.

He held on till the ambulance arrived, clinging to her body and tears running dry as they peeled him away gently and wrapped him in blankets, but he felt like he would never, ever be warm again.

~

That was all before he met the male with the crinkling eyes and sleepy smiles, body fluid with aimple movements and grace unbestowed on Sehun and his lanky, awkward teenage limbs. That was all before he met Jongin, imperfections wrapped in a soft, fluffy bundle and three dogs added as a bonus. That was all before he knew how kisses made his lips tingle with more than comfortable warmth, before kisses only removed pain and didn't make his lips twitch and grin with too much gum and teeth, making his chest feel like it would explode with fluttering butterflies. That was before he woke up to a blanket of warmth and arms wrapped around his waist, long legs tangling in faded morning sunlight and the sound of yapping dogs.

That was all before he fell in love with Kim Jongin, and shared a thousand kisses just as important as his first three ones.

~

A/N: I hope Sehun's mom is safe and doesn't pass away in the way I mentioned in this fic. It's just an au. Thank you for reading!