Fools of Inadequate Love

Description

A few say, "those who loved someone who didn't love them back are considered fools." 

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Foreword

Those who claim to have inadequate love are fools but what about those who love deeply yet their love was insufficient? 

What would they be acknowledge as? 

Is falling in love a taboo? That's what people call forbidden love... 

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Aiba and I decided that we need to pick something up at the vending machine because the guys said they need a drink or so they say but I'm just thinking they are addicted to alcohol. 

I stare at the different beers they had wondering which one they liked the most. They had cherry flavor, vanilla, and more. But I'm sure that it's all fake just to make kids buy alcohol before the age of 20. It's pretty easy to get alcohol in Japan. Especially since they created vending machines that sell alcohol. 

"I think this is the most wonderful creation they've made so far, alcohol in a vending machine!" screeched Aiba. Then he stared at me. He pointed at my jeans pocket. I realized my cellphone was ringing. 

I took it out and a familiar number showed up. It was her. The one I once loved. 

Aiba knew what it meant as I stared at the number on the screen of my cellphone. I knew he had the intention to take the phone from my hand and listen to it for me but I didn't answer it and continue to let it ring. After the song ended, I stood as if I were hypothesized. He simply patted my shoulder and told me to forget everything that happen today....

I didn't know if I could. 

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The two guys in this foreword are Aiba and Nino. I hope you enjoyed the forewords. comments pls. :) I also know there is room for improvement so give suggestions if possible. =] 

Comments

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kkeuchi
#1
(>ω<)
staticdream
#2
yup they(Karlo, Annie and Booki) pretty much said all I was going to say
Insanity #3
Your story isn't bad at all! There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, such as the switching between past tense and present tense. Your writing is nice, but more description would be good! I like your story, keep writing!
notebook_xx #4
overall, your story is not bad :) just describe the outlook of the characters more and elaborate their feelings :D<br />
keep writing ! <3
DarkHybridx
#5
Like I said before, your vocabulary i eloquent enough, but I'm recognizing some errors in your tenses. Since that first part that started "3 months ago" was in present tense, you should keep up with that. Saying "he founded his..." was incorrect, "found" being the past tense of "find."<br />
<br />
I'm sorry if my comments are like this, but I'm generally real picky about grammar and how well understood the story is. Probably why I don't comment very often. Other than that, I'm sure people would enjoy it.
kpopartory
#6
I like it. Your write well, your good.
Sheri-chan #7
@Darkhybridx: Thank you very much! <br />
This is my first fanfic after many years of not writing. I deleted so many fanfics on winglin,I don't even know how many. I rarely complete one. I hope I can complete this fanfic and don't end up deleting it.
DarkHybridx
#8
Hmm. sounds interesting. Your language and vocabulary seem pretty eloquent, lol