“Let’s break up!”

Joonyoung words like a sword that slice Jinae’s heart up into pieces. She didn‟t even imagining that her lover would say such a harsh word like that. That’s unbelievable, but that was true. Joonyoung break their relationship up like Jinae would fine with that. He even asks Jinae to be his friend and pretend that they were never in love before.

Jinae is too loves Joonyoung, she let herself to hurt by Joonyoung and tried her hardest to be a good friend for Joonyoung. She would come to Joonyoung’s place every weekend, just to find that the man she cares so much is not home. Of course J

Even that reality makes Jinae’s heart hurt badly, she never stop to come there since Joonyoung didn’t take the key he had gave to Jinae as they still be lover ago, so she can entering Joonyoung’s place.

Jinae would clean Joonyoung’s place up like her usuality when she still Joonyoung’s lover. Make sure that her beloved man’s place tidy and clean. She also cooks Joonyoung’s favorite food; put them on the fridge so when Joonyoung come back he just need warm-up those foods and eat those up.

On the Sunday morning, Jinae would receive a call from Joonyoung who happily said thank-you for all Jinae makes for him. Also he would say thank-you about his place that become cleaner after he’s comeback from his girlfriend’s place.

Just heard Joonyoung's voice and praises her about the foods that she makes for him, Jinae's heart like swollen by happiness. She couldn't deny that she still loves J

Sometimes, Joonyoung would invite Jinae to have dinner at his place when he received a lot food from his girlfriend so he couldn't eat them alone. Jinae's heart hurt a little, but she would accepted Joonyoung's invitation happily, occasionally she would brought alcohol since she know that Joonyoung loves alcohol so much.

They would eat the foods up with talking about their live in past. Jinae can't help but felt so hurt by all Joonyoung said about their beautiful memories though Joonyoung was the one who said that they should forget about their past. Jinae would let herself to drink a lot to get drunk, so she couldn't heard what Joonyoung said anymore and her pain could eased.

And if the morning comes, she would found herself was sleeping on her own bed. Joonyoung always brought her to her place when Jinae passed by alcohol. Jinae felt happy, yet felt disappoint at the same time. She's happy because Joonyoung must be carried her all the way from his place to her place, and she‟s disappointed because she could felt Joonyoung warm embrace when carried her since she got drunk.

Someday, when Joonyoung invited her again, Jinae making such a ridiculous plan, she pretended that she got drunk like always, just want to feel how warm Joonyoung's embrace. She missed that warm badly since she no longer Joonyoung's lover for a year. S

Jinae thought that her acting must give an award since Joonyoung didn't notice that she just pretending get drunk. Joonyoung called her name repeatedly, but Jinae just shut her eyes tightly, and muttering something randomly to make her acting perfect.

“Jinae-ya,” Joonyoung shook Jinae shoulder lightly.

“Hmmm….” finally Jinae answered Joonyoung's call. She then lifted her body up from the floor they were laid together, and stretching her hand just to reach the bottle of alcohol but Joonyoung snatched her hand.

“Don't force yourself,” Joonyoung said softly and Jinae felt like about to cry as her heart filled by happiness.

“Eummhhh….” Jinae tried pulled her hand but unexpectedly Joonyoung hold her hand tightly.

Joonyoung then caress Jinae's cheeks softly; murmur some audible words to Jinae's ears that make Jinae flushed.

“Sorry for makes you sad,”

Jinae laid her body to the floor again. “Ugghhh…..” she rolled her body around the floor, to hide her jitters. She shut her eyes tightly.

And suddenly, Jinae felt something soft-wet thing touched her lips. When she opens her eyes, she found Joonyoung's face leaned closer to her and his lips touches Jinae's. He's closed his eyes like his usuality when kissing Jinae. It's too nonplus, so Jinae can't move her body which stuck frigidly. She can't breathe since her heart beating like crazy.

Jinae can tell that Joonyoung's kiss right now was different from his usual kisses that couldn't forget by Jinae. His kiss felt so full with sadness. But when Jinae's lips move slightly just for a breath, Joonyoung's tongue pushed in. His kiss become rough and full of passions that make Jinae afraid if she couldn't hold herself to reply the kiss as wild as Joonyoung, and Joonyoung would found out that she just acted.

Jinae then shut her lips to not allowed Joonyoung's tongue in. Joonyoung open his eyes and stared to Jinae.

“Huh? Why you not let me kiss you deeper like yesterdays?”

Jinae startled with Joonyoung's words 'Like yesterdays?'. Does that mean that Joonyoung always kiss her when she got drunk. Jinae couldn't ask to Joonyoung since she was pretending got drunk. So all she can do is pretend to fall asleep and leaned her head to Joonyoung's firm chest.

─

Jinae feel that her head messed up by Joonyoung's image. And the fact that Joonyoung always kiss her who had drunk makes her head dizzy.

It becomes a routine for Jinae to lay in bed night after night thinking about Joonyoung. The very first time she does so, she thought that Joonyoung completely not love her anymore after their break-up. But suddenly she found a new fact that flustered her; Joonyoung always kiss her, it can be that Joonyoung still love her.

Jinae couldn't tell herself how about Joonyoung's feeling to her now. Joonyoung had a girlfriend so it's obvious that he's not love Jinae anymore. Yes, Jinae would convince herself that she was just too over-hoping for Joonyoung's love so she had an unbelievable delusion. All of what happened at that night just Jinae's delusion.

Jinae tried to act normally as if nothing happened between her and Joonyoung that night. She kept coming to Joonyoung's place every weekend. To clean up and making Joonyoung foods.

But, someday when she come over in the another weekend she found that the tall man who always being her Romeo was kissing a beautiful girl at the Joonyoung's living room. The girl that has such a slim creature clinging her hands around Joonyoung's neck with her messed blouse. Joonyoung's shirt of course messed up as mess as the girl's. They break their kisses as Jinae entering the living room noisily.

Jinae uttering a sorry, as she turned her heels and leaving that place as fast as she able. Her eyes stained by unstoppable tears for regretting her silliness. She should call Joonyoung though if she wants to come over to Joonyoung's place. But who knows that she‟d found such a painful scene right before her eyes. Usually Joonyoung would come to his lover's place and stay over, so this not Jinae's fault. No one can blame Jinae.

Jinae couldn't bear the pain anymore. She gave her love to Joonyoung up. It's too hurt for Jinae, she want to forget Joonyoung so she could live in happiness. And when she's ready to tell her truly feeling to Joonyoung, she came to Joonyoung's place. Not like usual habit to just get in with her key, today Jinae press the doorbell. She's too afraid that she would found another painful scene if she just entering without permission.

Joonyoung opens the door and surprised to see Jinae stood before the door. But he has a happily face when let Jinae to come in. This is first time in two weeks Jinae show up at his place. Although Jinae said that she was too busy to come over when Joonyoung ask, Joonyoung still feel worried. And now he offering Jinae to have dinner at his place but got rejected by that long-haired girl.

“Sorry, I can't,” Jinae said succinctly. “I come here just want to return your key,” she take out the key from her bag; simply key with guitar-shape strap that she received from Joonyoung three years ago.

“W-why you returned that to me?”

Jinae shrugged. “I think I couldn't be your friend again since I still loved you, that so unforgivable so I‟ll try to forget you from now on,” Jinae didn't troubled herself to showing Joonyoung her happy face anymore, she let her face masked by sadness.

“What?”

“I couldn't stand with this pain anymore. Even I always seem happy with your story about your girlfriend, but my heart hurt badly. I just hiding that so you could felt happy have me on your side as your friend,” Jinae stood-up. “Then this should be our true ending. I want to cut all ties with you, sorry for troubled you all the time,”

Joonyoung blinked as saw Jinae walk-away from his living room and said goodbye in impassive tone.

That day, after leave Joonyoung's place, Jinae spent her time to wandering the downtown, just by herself. Trying to ease away her sadness, Jinae does shopping, buy lot stuffs for her month- necessity. She walked around the downtown with ice-cream on her hand, then come to night-market to ride all of vehicle that offered there.

Even the time passed slowly, but night already late when Jinae leaves the night-market to station and rode the train. She comes home almost midnight, and she fall asleep before take a bath first since she felt so tired, both; physical and psychic.

At the next day, when she wants to go to school, Joonyoung show up on her apartment door. That's make Jinae wroth, and ask Joonyoung to leave. She even said that she really won't see Joonyoung's face again. She begged to Joonyoung not to bother her anymore.

“But I wanna tell you something,”

“I don't want to hear, just leave my place!” Jinae said, and swung the door; closed that.

“NO, I REALLY WANNA TELL YOU SOMETHING!!” Joonyoung shouted and knocking the door noisily. “Please hear me, just for least,”

“NO! GO AWAY!”

“DON'T WANT. I'LL BE HERE UNTIL YOU OPEN YOUR DOOR,” Joonyoung keep shouting and knock the door roughly.

Jinae let out a long gasp then open the door. She doesn't want if the neighbor scolded her because Joonyuoung's act.

“Okay, tell me!” she finally let Joonyoung to come in.

“I love you,” Joonyoung said right after Jinae finished her words.

“So that's all you want to say to me? You even come here in early morning just to say those ridiculous words?” Jinae said evenly. “If that's true, then you should go home now since I've heard what you said already,”

“No, not just that,” Joonyoung‟s face looks rueful.

“Oh then there was something else?”

“T-that girl you saw that day it's not my girlfriend,”

Jinae frowned.

“She just the girl from host club that I occasionally visit,”

“You shouldn't tell me that matter. Who cares with that girl?”

“You! You care about her so you suddenly want to cut our ties because you jealous,”

“Hmm, so am I not allowed being jealous if I found the man who I loves so much doing such a nasty thing right before my eyes?” Jinae started crying as she kneeled down to the floor. “You're so cold,”

“No, who said that you not allowed get jealous of me? But you shouldn't broke our friendship,”

“Why?”

“Because that makes me hurt,”

“Oh, so if I'm the one who get hurt is okay? You had dumped me away, and then ask me to be your friend even you know that I still love you, and bringing your girlfriends to me time-by-time is okay? And now you begged that I shouldn't let myself to pull away from dreadfully-pain so you couldn't get hurt?” Jinae sobbed. “You are cruel!”

“I‟m sorry, I‟m sorry. I shouldn't let you bear all those pains by yourself. I should know that I had hurted my precious girl, I just too coward to admitted that I really need you to stay by my side as my lover, not just as friend,”

Joonyoung kneeled beside Jinae; put his hands to the almond-eyed girl's shoulders. “Let me told you my stupidity,”

“I‟m breaking our relationship up because I don't want to hurt you in many ways,”

“I don't get what you‟re mean,” Jinae still sobbing, but calmer than before. She even let Joonyoung to hold her on his hug.

“You know that I never satisfied with our kiss, I always begged you to have with me,”

“And I always let you to do that to me,”

“Well, that was the matter. You always let me to devour your body until you almost died sometimes. I don't have self-control if I was on the bed with you,”

“And you make that matter as reason to break-up with me?”

Joonyoung nodded. “I don't want to hurt you. I decided to make you as my friend so I wouldn't hurt you anymore,”

“But I rather choose that 'hurt' instead thi 'hurt',”

“Sssh… just hear me,” Joonyoung touch Jinae's lips with his finger. “I tried to released my -frustration to many girls that I bought,”

“S-so the girls that you always bring to me…”

“Yup, they're not my girlfriends,”

“But, where do you stay at weekends?”

“At the hotel, with such useless girls that not even makes me feels good,”

“And you always kiss me secretly when I got drunk to release your -frustration too?”

“Wait! You knew about that?”

“Yes, I've once pretend got drunk just to felt your warm embrace when you carried me to my place. But, I found something that you always kiss me secretly,”

“Sorry for that. I want to eat you up badly, so I just let myself to kiss you,”

“Ahh…you‟re too cruel and selfish!”