Today is not so great day for me I only have 5 hours of sleep and I really don’t know what will I going to do today.. since today is Saturday and I don’t have

class….

 

I went to our living room and open my laptop when suddenly someone message me….

 

 

 

From: taengoo

 

Sica! Are you busy?

 

To:taengo

 

Nope why?

 

From taengoo

 

Ahmm I’m just wondering if I can go to your house today?

 

To: taengoo

 

Hmm why? Aren’t you with tiff right now?

 

 

 

I wait for her reply but she suddenly log off…

 

What the hell is her problem? Why she suddenly want to meet me today? What’s with her?

 

…….

 

 By the way I am Jessica jung and taeyeon is my first love actually I fall for her deeply when we still in high school and she knew about it but she just shrug it off

she don’t to commit into a relationship with her bestfriend….

 

And its been 3 years since the last time she went here in my house with out any reason…

 

Yes I always see her when our other friends is having a party but unlike before it’s a little awkward to talk to her because she is always with tiffany her college

girlfriend… and that’s also the main reason why I ended drunk after the party I always drink my emotion and hurt….

 

Any ways now I am waiting for her to come and now I am spacing out…

 

Kyaaaaaaaaahhhh… why am I still feel sleepy? And my head ache….

 

After a few hours she is now here in my house and we talk and talk and talk like there is no tomorrow and now I feel happy and also a little hurt…

 

“sica? Do you want to go to the mall i will just going to buy a gift for a friend?” she said

 

“hmm I don’t like to walk around!!” I said with a little hint of laziness…

 

“yah! its been a long time since we go out please come with me!!! Please” she said with a little bit of aegyo

 

“aish so childish taengoo!!”

 

“kyaaaaa!! So you will come with me?!?!?! Yey!!”

 

“yah! I didn’t….” before I finish what I will going to say she grab my hands and pulled me out of my house..

 

Since the mall is only a few blocks away from my house we both end up walking there and since its raining we use only one umbrella…

 

It’s a little romantic but everything I feel at that moment fade away when she stated talking about tiff.. I feel like arrows is hitting my chest but I still need to stay

still……

 

I know I she know that I moved on about  her but the truth is I still want her I still miss her and also Im still in love with her…

 

Why is that love is so unfair?

 

Awkward silent is following us right now because non of us what to start a conversation….

 

When she suddenly sigh…

 

“ahmm sica?”

 

“hmmm?”

 

“how are you and yuri?”

 

“hmm fine we both fine?”

 

“ahmm how about your relationship with her?”

 

“we broke up last week “ I said with a blank expression..

 

“what?! Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

I shrug and told her “you never ask”

 

“but I thought…”

 

“life is unfair taengoo I thought I love her but I think i was wrong I broke up with her because I cant give back the love that she is giving me and also she is a

good person I don’t want to hurt her in the end…”

 

We both stop walking and she look at me in the eyes and before she say anything I broke the silence

 

“yah! we go now I don’t want to go home late!”

 

“ok…”

 

And we both start walking again…

 

i know its wrong to love you 

 

i know its wrong to be with you 

 

but im sorry that i feel this way for you 

 

my heart is beating fast whenever i see you 

 

i feel sad when i see you happy 

 

i feel lonely whenever im with you 

 

i feel like i lost you whenever i didn't see you 

 

but what can i do this jelousy is killing me 

 

b'cous when you are happy i know its because of her

 

b'cous whenever im with you you always talk about her

 

b'cous whenever i didn't see you i know you are with her 

 

but what can i do im just your friend 

 

a friend that you always need 

 

i know that you cant love as much as i love you 

 

but i just want you to know 

 

that i am willing to wait for you 

 

eventhought i know that this is wrong 

 

but what can i do 

 

loving you is my decision 

 

even though i know in the end that i will be left behind

 

left crying...

 

but one thing i know loving you is not a mistake

 

and i am sorry for loving you!!...............

 

 I sigh heavily and I can tell that she caught me zoning out  that’s why she cling her arms into mine and I feel like a thousand bolts is circulating all over my body!

 

…………………………………..

 

We are now in the mall in the ladies section I just don’t feel I want to go shopping so I just followed her around…

 

“hey look at that bikini its look good at you!” she said jokingly

 

“yah! stop it!!”

 

“hahaha why are you so serious?”

 

“like I said before I am not in the mood to go the mall but you just drug me here!”

 

“sorry! But I can say you cant say no to me right?”

 

I just roll my eye to her and again I followed her..

 

Yeah taengoo I cant say no to you! And I don’t know why!

 

 I just sigh knowing that the gift that she will buy is for tiff…

 

Tiff is a lucky girl to have you!

 

 While looking at the dresses I went to a infant section of the department store and I look at the cute clothes for babies…

 

“I never thought you like babies…”

 

I look at my back knowing that is taengoo and I just smiled…

 

“why? Do you think a cold person like me would not like kids?”

 

“yeah! You said to your self! You are a cold person!”

 

I rolled my eyes again to her because I know it will start a fight if I said another word…

 

“by the way…” she said..

 

“hmm?”

 

“what do you want to have if you have a baby? A boy or a girl?” she asked while holding a piece of baby clothes

 

“hmm a baby boy kekeke” I said..

 

“why?”

 

“because boys is mostly the closes and sweet when it come to their mothers…”

 

“ok..”

 

And another moment of silent and then I walk over to a toy section of the department store and look at them… while I am in there I can still see taengoo in the

distance looking serious at the dress for tiff… and I feel my heart is aching again…

 

Taengoo.. why cant I have you? Why can I be with you? Why?why is that life is so unfair for me…. T_T

 

………….

 

Hours gone so fast and i still don’t want to end it.. I know it will be the last time that I will going to see her again…

 

Her smile and laugh with my corny jokes..

 

And those eyes that tells everything about her….

 

And also the part when she link her arms in my arms

 

The way she cares for me..

 

Everything will be all gone after this..

 

………………………………………………….

 

After we ate in a fast food chain I know its time to bid my good bye to her..

 

but I still don’t want to! I still want to be with her but I know I cant… she cant she already have tiffany…. And I know she is happy with her so I also need to be

happy with her… even though my heart is calling out her name….

 

but since this is just a day with her.. at lease for a short time I saw her again…

 

for a short time I talked to her again without any eyes looking at me

 

and for a short time I had a chance to hug her again…

 

for the last time…

 

and for a short time…

 

I had her in my arms again…

 

……………………………………………….

 

The end!!

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halo!! 

i dont know if you can relate to this story but this one happend to me 

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