“Luhan, are you awake?”

Luhan slowly opened his eyes and rolled over on his bed, facing his roommate. He hummed, too tired to answer the question he had been asked.

“Don't you think...” Yixing slowly started, “you should eat something? It's already 3pm and you haven't eaten anything today.” The young man eyed his friend carefully, worried about his health but afraid to scare him.

Truth be told, Yixing had been worried for over two months, since Luhan had come back one night crying hysterically and mumbling incoherent words about Minseok, death and lying hearts. It had taken him the whole night and a lot of calm and care to finally know what had happened. At dawn, as he was slowly calming after having cried his eyes out, Luhan had told his friend that his beloved Minseok was dead. At first, Yixing was dumbfounded and had wondered how the other male could be so sure of himself. The older male then had told him that, after having searched for his lover all day long, he had thought he had finally found him at the train station as night was falling. But the person who had made his heart beat so fast wasn't his Minseok. No, he had found a stranger and had started to cry as he had understood what that meant. The foreigner, a Korean called Chanyeol, had panicked and tried to know why the male in front of him had burst into tears when he had seen him. After a lot of talking from Chanyeol and a lot of tears from Luhan, the older man had finally known the truth; the love of his life was dead and his heart had been transplanted to Chanyeol. He had come back home in a daze, the world a blur behind his tears. At that moment, he didn't care about his life at all. Had a car crossed his path, he wouldn't have avoided it. He would have been glad to die. But he hadn't. He had arrived home safe, only heartbroken. So Yixing had taken care of him the best he could, holding him in his arms and slowly his back as he was crying, until his tears had stopped falling and his story had been shared. And that day had only been the beginning. The days after his discovery, Luhan had started locking himself up in his room. He didn't go out at all, didn't wash himself or come in the living room to watch TV. He didn't even eat or drink anything and that was what worried Yixing the most. So he had forced his friend to eat, staying in the kitchen until the other had finished the meal he had cooked for him.

As time had passed, Luhan had slowly started to live again. After two months since he had discovered Minseok wasn't alive anymore, he had decided – or rather Yixing had told him – it was time for him to react before it was too late. He couldn't go on living like he was, he had to take care of himself unless he wanted to die. And Yixing had assured him he would never allow him to let himself die. So Luhan started to cook again, even if he wasn't eating much himself, he started spending time in the living room again, he started taking showers again. He hadn't gone out of their house yet, but he didn't lock himself in his room anymore and he tried his best to get better. Of course he hadn't forgotten his lover – and he doubted he could forget him one day, but he was slowly admitting that Minseok was dead, that he would never see him again. It was a hard truth to admit and the journey would be long before Luhan would be happy once again, but at least he was getting a little better.

Although there were days where Luhan felt at peace, most days were depressing for him. Today was no exception. He felt sad; the only thing he wanted to do was lay down in his bed all day long and cry his heart out. He didn't even have the courage to answer when Yixing knocked on his door, even less when he knew the other was surely there to force him to eat something. Luhan wanted to tell him to just leave him alone as his suspicions were confirmed, but Yixing didn't let him interrupt his speech as he told him someone had sent him a parcel. “For me?” Luhan asked, confused. He hadn't seen anybody for ages, who would send him anything? “Can you bring it here?” he asked his younger friend, although he already knew the answer.

“Go and get it yourself! I'm not your slave!” The smile the male wore contrasted with his words and Luhan knew his friend was only trying to shake him out of his numbness. The boy's care was proved true as he added, “and get something to eat on your way, I think there's a bit of chicken left from yesterday evening.”

“Yes mom!” Luhan answered jokingly. The last thing his saw before his friend disappeared from his sight was his dimpled smile. Luhan himself smiled, but stopped seconds later, shocked. How long had it been since he had last joked, laughed or even smiled? The blond male made his way towards the living room where the package was waiting for him, lying on the couch, and walked towards the kitchen because he knew Yixing would keep bothering him until he would finally eat. He took a plate and put a little bit of chicken and some rice in it, then sat down at the table. He smiled once more as he saw a little piece of paper his roommate had placed under his glass. 

You better eat! I will check what's left when I come back. I'll buy some macarons when my shift ends but I'll only share them with you if you ate. I'll get your favourite ones if there are some left... Just so you know. ;-)

Yixing was really a great friend; Luhan was grateful to him for the way he had treated him those last two months. He had taken care of him, had pampered him when he needed it the most and, at the same time, he had be strong enough to help him get better. He knew this hard time would have been even harder without his friend's kindness and care. Shaking his thoughts out of his head, Luhan started eating while wondering once again who could have sent him a package. Curious, he finished his meal quickly, put the dishes in the sink, returned in the living room and sat down on the couch. Then, he took the package and eyed it curiously. It was square-shaped, rather big – and heavy – but what shocked him the most was the sender's address. The package had been sent from South Korea. Seeing this reminded the male once more of his Korean (ex)lover. He quickly shook his head to get rid of his thoughts and carefully opened the package. Inside, he found an external hard drive, a digital camcorder, and, stuck on the inside of the box, a note written in Korean. Luhan had fortunately learned Korean for some years – especially to be able to talk with Minseok when the latter had just arrived in China – so he could understand what was written down. He read it, curious at first, but more and more focused as he neared the end of the note.

Hello, I am Minseok's mother. I apologize for I know this note may sound strange and sudden to you. I found a package in my son's house that was addressed to you. As you may already know, Minseok is deceased. From what I know, you were really close with my son. He talked a lot about you during the weeks he spent in South Korea before he died left our world. So I thought you would like to see this 'project' he had planned for you. I truly apologize for only sending it to you now, I had a hard time getting in touch with you. My Minseok was a little secretive about his love life. Please take care of these things that belonged to my son. I know you couldn't attend Minseok's wake, please visit his grave if you come to South Korea someday. I know how much it hurts Stay strong for that's what Minseok would have liked.

Luhan read the note once, twice, three times. He was dumbfounded. Minseok's mother. He would never have guessed she was the one who sent him something. He examined the note once more; the lady must have been crying while writing it for there were dried tear stains on it. Luhan himself realized he was crying as he his vision became blurry. He quickly wiped his tears away before taking a look at the other objects he had put on the table. Spotting Yixing's laptop on the armchair, he took it before connecting the hard drive. He clicked on the hard drive icon. The drive contained pictures and an important amount of videos. Luhan decided to look at the pictures first. There were pictures of Minseok. Minseok in his bed as he had probably just woken up; Minseok in a bathrobe, his hair looking still damp; Minseok wearing the shirt Luhan had given him for their first month anniversary – the blue one Minseok had claimed made him look like a teenager but still wore because Luhan liked it; Minseok posing in front of the Namsan Tower – “I'll take you to dinner there when you'll visit”, he had told his Chinese lover one day as they were watching a documentary on TV; Minseok smiling at the camera like he was smiling at Luhan all those times. Luhan couldn't help the tears that started falling once again; it had been so long since he had last seen Minseok and now there were all those pictures of him and it was overwhelming. But there weren't only pictures of the Korean male, he had also taken a lot of pictures from landscapes – the Han River, Seoul under the snow; his house – there were framed pictures of Luhan in every room; his family – Luhan saw his lover's parents, his mother smiling kindly, the same smile Minseok always wore.

Luhan didn't know if he was strong enough to keep looking at all this; yet he wanted to know what Minseok had filmed for him. His mother had written that these pictures and videos were meant for Luhan himself and he was craving it, craving some contact with Minseok, even if it meant only looking at him – a past him – through a screen. He closed the pictures and instead opened the folder which contained the videos. The folder himself was divided into more folders, each one representing a precise date or event. The young male scanned the titles; 12-12 Christmas Time, 13-02-14 Valentine's Day, 13-04-20 Lulu's Birthday, 13-04-30 Our Anniversary... He was about to click on the first folder he would see when he saw the first one was called 0000 WARNING! OPEN FIRST 0000. He clicked on it and saw there was only one video in the folder. He opened it and Minseok's faced appeared on the laptop screen. Hi Lulu~ his cheerful voiced said. Before you start watching those videos I made for you, I have to warn you... He paused, then added in a serious tone, Do not watch them before you are over 50! I insist! Don't do it! I know you, you are unable to keep things to yourself and I can almost hear Jongdae's laugh right now... Wait! I guess you know Jongdae by now, don't you? In case you don't know him, he's my closest friend. But he certainly is not anymore if you didn't know him so don't mind what I just said. But if you do know him, I don't need to explain my warning to you, you know how he is. Anyway, don't watch the videos too soon, It would be too embarrassing! Minseok's face turned a cute shade of pink as the words left his mouth. He cleared his throat before speaking again, So... If you did as I said, you are now allowed to watch the following videos. Just know I made them for you during the time we were apart because I missed you so much. He smiled sweetly, then, using his famous aegyo voice, he said, I love you Lulu~, making a heart with his hands before waving goodbye. Bye bye~ Luhan kept staring at the black screen for a minute. He had just seen his Minseok. He had just heard his voice. He had long given up getting rid of his tears and they were now freely running down his cheeks and falling on his hands and his clothes. With shaking hands, he opened the next video. He didn't think Minseok's warning still counted now, and he wanted, no he needed to watch those videos. In the new video, Minseok was wearing winter clothes. He was standing in a street lit by Christmas decorations, a scarf hiding half of his face and a beanie covering his ears. He was cute, Luhan thought. He started talking as he slowly turned around to film his surroundings. So, as you can see, it snowed a lot the last days. It's so beautiful, don't you think? Oh, I promised you I would show the Christmas tree that's near my house. Let's go there, okay~ The screen started shaking a little as Minseok was walking towards the place he wanted to show his lover. While walking, he was pointing things and telling stories. Here, do you see the convenience store? That's the one I always talked about, you know the one I worked at during high school; oh, and do you see the cute dog there? He's so fluffy!; ah! I love this street! It's always so beautifully decorated during Christmas Time! He kept blabbering cheerfully until he reached his destination. Here we go~ So... How is it? He waited a few seconds, as if he was letting some time for Luhan to answer his question before saying, it's great, right? I've seen it almost all my life yet I'm still amazed! Luhan watched in awe the giant tree standing proudly in the center of the place, decorated with golden stars, little angels and shiny tinsel. It was beautiful, majestic. I knew you would love it! Minseok exclaimed loudly, as if he was right next to him. The Korean male then took a look at his camera before cursing lowly. Sorry Lulu, my battery is low so I'll end it here today. See you next time, okay~ Bye~ Luhan was about to close the window when Minseok suddenly appeared on the screen again, whispering, I love you!

Luhan spent all the afternoon watching the videos Minseok had filmed for him. He cried a lot – Minseok would end all his videos by telling him he loved him and it made his heart ache; he laughed – the Korean male had filmed funny moments, like when he had slipped on the floor while showing him around his house, or when he had spilled his drink because he had tried to talk before swallowing; he had smiled – at the other's cuteness, at his sweet words, at his everything. Night had long fallen when Luhan decided to stop his watching for the day. He closed all the windows before turning his friend's laptop off. Getting up from the couch, he got the things that were lying around and took them to his room. As he put the box on his desk, he realized he hadn't inspected the camcorder. He turned it on curiously and yet a bit anxious and saw there was only one video recorded. He pressed play and watched Minseok's face appear for the nth time that day. He looked especially happy on this one and it made Luhan happy and sad at the same time. Hi Lulu~ I've got some big news to tell you! But first you have to close your eyes. Don't open them until I say you can. Okay? Now, close them. He waited for the other to close his eyes, as if he was sure he would do it. Luhan felt a little stupid but he did as he was told nonetheless. Okay~ You can open you eyes, Minseok's voice exclaimed enthusiastically. Luhan opened his eyes and what he saw on the screen made his tears fall down once again. Minseok was holding a ticket in his hand. A plane ticket. To go back to China. To come back to him. I'm coming back! Minseok's smile was dazzling. My flight is scheduled for the end of the week. I'll be packing starting tomorrow so everything'll be ready for the big day. I just can't wait to come back to China... To see you... I miss you Lulu! But we'll be together soon! Just wait and see! I need to go now but I wanted to make sure to tell you! I love you~ Luhan's sobs got harder when the video ended; Minseok wanted to come back. He had planned everything and was ready to leave. All this time, Luhan had wondered if the other male had thought about going back to China but now he knew he was about to do it when he had died.

***

One year later, in South Korea, a man is slowly walking outside in an alley, flowers in his hands, his coat floating in the winter's wind. He is looking attentively at his surroundings. He finally stops and turns to his right. In front of a grave. He kneels to light a candle before getting up. The young foreigner takes a deep breath and starts speaking. “H-hi... Minseok. It's me... Luhan.” Talking is harder than he thought it would be. Luhan inhales deeply once more before the words leave his mouth once again. “I... I'm sorry I didn't come to see you sooner. It's just... It's hard, you know... Living like this...” He clenches his chest. “Without you.” Don't cry Luhan! Be strong!, the boy reminds himself in his mind. “I... I got a package from your mother. She gave me all the videos you recorded for me. I had a hard time watching them but I watched them all... For you... For me too...” Despite his cheers, Luhan feels the tears gathering at the corner of his eyes before slowly running down his cheeks. “I had promised myself I wouldn't cry... But you know me... I'm such a crybaby.” Luhan laughs bitterly. “I visited your mother before coming,” the Chinese male admits, trying to distract himself, “she's really sweet. Now I know whom you got it from. She offered to show me around but I have to go back to China tomorrow morning... But I will come back soon. Actually, I'm gonna move out to Seoul starting next month. I found a job there, at the kindergarten in your neighbourhood. As you can see, I finally made my dream come true; I'm a teacher. I have to say it's thanks to you; without you I would have left college a long time ago... Plus, I wouldn't even have studied Korean in the first place. So thank you... Thank you so much Minseok... For all you've done for me. For always being next to me. For being the best human being I've met. For loving me... And for letting me love you... I have to go now. I'll be back soon.” Luhan kneels in front of the grave once more and lays the bouquet on it. A sob escapes his lips. “I miss you,” he whispers, “I miss you so much...” The male gets up, dusts his pants off, and before making his way out of the cemetery, he says in a low voice, “Goodbye Minseok.” Goodbye my love.

A/N: Here it is~ I hope you liked it. =)