I'm sorry! I know I said I'd update it yesterday morning the latest, but you can blame my Philosofical something something something something Bases teacher (Yes, it's a long name. No, I didn't want to translate it. Yes, I hate that class.)-.-. She was like: "Here, read these fifteen pages, write down the main ideas, make three mental maps, do a colorful exposition about it and you can't use your laptops. It's due tomorrow, by the way. :D" So yeah... -.-

Anyways, back to the story.

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I opened my eyes to a very blinding light. I turned my face away from my window towards the clock on the table next to my bed and saw it was barely 3 minutes past noon. 

 

 

"NOON?!?!"

 

I immediately got up and ran to the bathroom. I was already half an hour late and by the time I get there it'd probably be already past one. I can't believe I didn't wake up. He was most likely still waiting for me at the restaurant, feeling hurt...but by now I think he's already getting used to it since it's not the first time it has happened. 

As soon as my shower was done I ran out of the bathroom only to crash into my roommate and fall. I quickly got up without paying much attention to him while yelling, "Sorry Min, I'm just really late and need to hurry!" and with that I dashed to my room starting to get changed at lightning speed. When I was convinced that I was presentable enough, I grabbed my phone and flew out of the apartment, finally on my way to meet my boyfriend.

 

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Almost an hour later I arrived to the restaurant and saw him sitting in a bench in front of the restaurant's window. I felt something bad was about to happen as soon as I was standing in front of him. I softly called out his name.

"Siwon..." 

He looked up with tear-filled eyes, "You're here. It's very nice of you to delight me with you presence, Kyuhyun." I could hear the pain and hurt mixed together with some sarcasm which made me shiver since he had never talked to me that way.

"I'm so sorry...my alarm didn't go off this morning and my cellphone was on vibrate! I swear I didn't do it on purpose. Next time I prom-" I began apologizing but he suddenly stood up and cut me off. He looked at me straight in the eye and said with a hurt voice, "it doesn't matter anymore...I'm done with this." 

He turned around and began walking away towards to his car without explaining further. I was frozen in shock. By the time I realized what was happening he had already begun to drive away so I just turned to watch his car pass by. I stared at the back of his car even after it was already out of sight. 

I knew this would happen sooner or later, I just wished with all my heart that it wouldn't because...well because I love him and I still hadn't been able to tell him that. I didn't want him to think he isn't important to me, I'm absolutely sure about my love for him. It's just that I'm having trouble getting those three words out. He knows this and understands but I think it's about time for me to get over these issues or else I'm afraid I might lose him...or worse, I already did.

To make things even worse, I've been arriving late— or sometimes even not arriving at all— to our dates in the past two months without a reasonable excuse. It's all due to the fact that in a couple of months we will be celebrating our 5th anniversary and I'm working extra hours to save enough money for his gift, but it also means I get less sleep which is why I didn't get up on time today or the other days as well.

Since he has always wanted to go visit London, I'm working my  off to be able to afford a week-long vacation for both of us there, the problem is I can't tell him about it because it's a surprise. I was hoping for him to endure with me a little longer, then he would be rewarded but it didn't work out the way I planned.

What made me completely lose hope was that out of the two he was the fighter, the one that never gave up and always found a way out...if he had given up on us already what could I do? I had to find a way to get him back but how can I do that?

I guess it's my turn be the strong one and fight for us now. But how can I do it without revealing the surprise?

When I was about to leave a waiter came out of the restaurant and turned my way with a bouquet of roses and a...box? 

"What's this?" I asked the waiter when he stopped in front of me looking like he would hand me the objects in his arms.

"The gentleman that just left forgot this on his table. He told me he was waiting for his lover and since he left after talking to you I'm guessing you're the one he was waiting for...are you? Or should I just store this here until he returns for it?" He asked sounding sort of apologetic and uncomfortable.

I ignored his first question and just said, "Sure, I'll take it and give it back to him." I smiled and thanked him as he handed me the things.

I began walking down the street towards a park near the restaurant, trying not to be bothered by what just happened, deciding it was not something that couldn't be fixed, but I could not avoid still feeling a little down. I couldn't go back home now because it was too soon and my roommate would begin to question me about why I looked so down or why I returned home so early.

When I arrived to the park, I sat on a bench near a tree where there was enough shade. I put the flowers down next to me on the bench and put the box on my lap.

I stared at the box wondering what could be inside. It was the kind of box you used to pack your things when moving out of an office, having a squared shape with a lid. It wasn't that heavy either so I couldn't come up with a possible explanation of what could be inside.

Giving up on trying to guess, I took of the lid and looked at what was inside. 

A collar and leash? Was he trying to hint that he was into  or something? That's umm...hot! He was always so loving and gentle with me and I loved it, but I wouldn't mind trying this out.

I felt myself blushing as I began to imagine the possible scenarios where this could be used. Him standing over me making me beg and call him master while ing me sen- I shook my head trying to get those dirty thoughts out of my head.

I look back into the box and- oh wait there's more inside! There are dog treats, a water and food bowl, a dog bed, some dog toys and an envelope that had my name on it.

Well that , I guess he wasn't hinting anything after all. That or he was an extreme  which I highly doubt. I laughed at my stupid thoughts and shook my head. Maybe this was for his brother's dog, Choco.

I grabbed the envelope and took out a picture first. The picture was of a super adorable puppy that could only be about a month old. Its' fur was white with black patches around his body and it look very soft. I turned the picture around and saw something written there. it said:

 

"Kyuhyun, my love, these years that we have spent together have been the best of my life. There's not a day where I don't thank God for putting you in my path. There are many things I wish to tell you. I know you've never told me that you love me but even without you saying it I can feel it by the way you look at me and how your actions are always showing care for me. Even though we've been through ups and downs in our relationship, I'm absolutely sure that I wouldn't mind it staying that way forever as long as it's with you.

I want to start a family with you, I'm sure of it just as I'm sure of the fact that I'm completely in love with you and that I can't see myself without you by my side. I found this puppy yesterday abandoned on a street and I realized he needs love and care, something that both of us can give him and he might not receive it anywhere else. I want us three to begin our own little family, but for that I need you to ask you something first..."

 

I rubbed my eyes and reread several lines because my tear filled eyes wouldn't let me see clearly. In a way I couldn't believe it, it was too good to be true. Especially now that all this happened, it seemed more of a dream.

I turned the envelope down over my hand and a ring fell out. I can't believe it! Was he going to ask me to marry him?!?!?! I couldn't be any happier yet heartbroken at that moment. I felt how my heart clenched painfully and couldn't stop the tears running down my cheeks anymore. 

I sat there for more than two hours without realizing it and began to remember all those times I spent with him. How we met, the embarrassingly cheesy way he asked me out on our first date, then going to the extreme of buying flowers and taking me to a fancy restaurant, how he stole my first kiss that same night, the day he asked me to be his boyfriend, the first time we made love...

After a while I began to panic when it hit me, what if he really had given up and doesn't want me back? We've been together for almost five years but what if he was tired of me? What if he found someone else to give his heart to while he's staying away from me? Kyuhyun, you're so stupid, how could you let him walk away without saying anything to him to stop him? To at least show him that you care?

I put the box besides me and drew up my legs to hug them to my chest as I began sobbing. I buried my face into my hands on my knees and let out all of my tears. I didn't care if someone was watching or not, for all I knew I had lost the love of my life.

I don't really know for how long I cried but it made me very tired and without realizing it, I fell asleep there sitting on the bench, going off to dreamland.

 

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A dog's bark near my feet was what woke me up.

I opened my eyes and looked down to meet a pair of dark brown eyes and an excited wagging tail. It was a medium sized dog that was sitting on the grass right in front of me looking like he was waiting for something, he then bent down to retrieve something from the floor. The dog had a bag of treats that looked somewhat familiar. I turned to the box next to me, noticing that the dog treats were missing and realized that the dog must have gotten it out on his own while I was asleep. Since the dog had done this without destroying any of my belongings and waited patiently for me to wake up, I decided he deserved at least two treats, so I opened the bag and fed him before he  my face and happily trotted away.

I finally turned and looked around me to notice that it was already starting to get dark, so I packed my things to go home. As I began walking, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket so I stopped for a second to check who it was.

Minnie: Kyu, where are? It very late and you haven't been answering your phone!! I met Siwon earlier and well I know what happened...So you better let me know that you're at least fine in the next ten minutes or else I'll go out to search for you and when I find you I'll kill you for making me this worried! >.<

I checked my phone and realized I had sixteen missed calls from him and about the same amount of new texts. I lazily typed back an "I'm fine, I'm on my way home now." Just to sooth his nerves for now or else I'll be in a lot of trouble when I get back home.

I took a long route on the way back since I knew Sungmin had talked to Siwon and I was already dreading the way I'd be bombarded with questions I'd rather much avoid as soon as I got home.

While walking through Seoul I began thinking about what I could do to fix things with Siwon. Too soon I reached my apartment and still had not managed to come up with a plan. I was disappointed that I couldn't think of a useful plan where I can show him and finally tell him that I love but without having to spoil our surprise vacation.

As soon as I turned the key and opened my apartment's door, Sungmin was standing in front of me with arms outstretched. He was either waiting for me to run to his arms and begin crying or he wanted to help me with the things I was carrying. Since I wasn't really sure which one it was, I decided to ignore him and walked towards the living room to set down the things I was carrying on the table.

I still hadn't said anything and Min was just observing me. After some moments of silence he finally walked toward me and raised his hand liked if he was going to pat my head. Instead I received a hard smack on the back of my head.

"Hey!" I yelled out of surprise more than pain and glared at him.

He glared back at me and then sighted heavily before saying, "Don't even start whining Kyu! You're so stupid, Siwon thinks you're cheating on him and that's why he really broke up with you, you babo! And then you didn't even try to stop him. Seriously Kyu, you're always bragging to me about how you're a genius and all but you couldn't manage to say a word to him to make him stay?! Aish!" He began pacing around the living room and I just stared at him somehow not understanding what he was saying.

"What..?" I asked dumbly. It took me a few moments of staring at him before I finally understood his words. "Cheat on him? Where did he even get that idea out of?! And most importantly, why in the world would I cheat on him?!?!" I finally lost it and began yelling toward the end because that was just so ridiculous. He's the perfect boyfriend many want while I lack in many things and it would have been more reasonable for him to cheat on me and not vice versa for crying out loud!

I grabbed everything I had put down on the table when I arrived and once again stormed out of my apartment. I could hear Sungmin telling me to wait and to go back inside but I just ignored him since I was determined to clear things up tonight. Screw all my plans to surprise him with the trip. Him breaking up with me for something like that without proof and without even trying to ask me about it was beyond ridiculous.

I was mumbling to myself as stomped on the sidewalk on my way to the bus stop, to frustrated with what was happening to even notice the people around giving me weirded out expressions.

I sat there for several minutes before the bus arrived, just thinking about what I would tell him to make him see sense and forget about the crazy idea of me cheating. Pfft, as if I would ever do that! I was so lost into my thoughts that I didn't even realize I almost missed my stop until an old lady besides me stood up and almost tripped with my feet, which made me earn an undeserved speech as soon as we both got off the bus.

During the walk to his apartment I began to cool off and, by the time I arrived forty minutes later, I was in a more understanding mood. 

I got into the elevator and rode up to the fourth floor in silence. As soon as the elevator doors opened I stepped out and walked towards his door. I hesitated whether to knock on the door or to just open it with my key. At the end I took out my key to his apartment an opened it myself.

When I walked in I took off my shoes and put all my things down in the living room. I look around and wondered why the lights were all turned off. I searched the house but found no one. Lastly I walked towards Siwon's room with the small hope of finding him there. 

Nothing.

Where could he be this late?

I decided to get comfortable and wait for him in his bed since I didn't know how late he would be arriving.

 

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At around 4am, my cellphone began ringing.

 

Entering call: Wonnie 

 

"Hello? Siwon where are you?!" I asked, relieved that he was calling but also worried since he had not arrived home yet.

"Hello? Who is speaking?" A stranger's voice asked.

I pulled the phone away from my ear to make sure I had read the name correctly. Once I had verified I had, I put the phone back to my ear. Controlling the worry in my voice I answered back with a question of my own. "Who's speaking and why do you have Siwon's cellphone?"

"Sir, I'm calling from Seoul's Gangnam Hospital. The owner of this cellphone had an accident and was brought here immediately after. Are you a family member? If not, we would really appreciate for you to inform them as soon as possible."

"I'll inform them," was all I could say before my hand began trembling and my phone slipped out of my grasp.

What? No, this can't be happening...

 

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Not an hour later, I was standing next to his bed, recalling everything the doctors had said as I observed his calm expression.

"He was drunk."

 

"The accident destroyed his kidneys and some other vital organs."

 

"Induced coma."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Would only be able to wake up once to say goodbye."

 

 

His family had wanted nothing to do with him since he came out of the closet and that apparently didn't change now. I was all he had left.

I dropped down to my knees, taking his hand in mine, never wanting to let him go, as I cried.

Cried for him.

Cried for who I was about to lose.

Cried for what my stupidity had caused.

 

Because it was all my fault...

 

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It was already 11:45am. Everything was set. The only thing we were waiting for was for the clock to strike noon. Noon—the hour that would be the beginning of the end.

Since I arrived at the hospital I never let go of his hand. I couldn't. Tears ran down my cheeks for hours and by now I felt like if my tear ducts were completely dry, like one more tear was to much too ask from my body.

Everything that happened to him was my fault. He was going to die because of my stupidity.

These thoughts circled my mind as the minutes ticked away. Before I knew it, a nurse walked in to turn on some machines that would wake him up.

I wasn't ready yet, but there was no time left.

"Everything is ready sir, he should wake up in a couple of minutes. You have about two hours." The nurse smiled at me sympathetically as she exited the room, closing the door softly after her.

Not a minute later, I began to hear him make some soft sounds. I looked up to see him slowly open his eyes, adjusting to the bright light.

"Hey..." I said softly, afraid that he might be mad at me.

He turned his head towards me slowly and smiled lightly before speaking, his voice barely above a whisper. "Hi...why are we here, Kyu?" he asked, eyeing the machines he was connected to. 

It was hard for me to say this to him. I had cried so much during the morning, wondering how I was going to answer that simple yet hard question. How was I going to tell him it was all my fault that he was going to die?

I opened my mouth to answer his question but only sobs could be heard. "I-I'm so-sorry!" I plead between my sobs, tears rolling down my face as I held on to his hand for dear life. "I—it's all my fault! If I had told you the truth since the beginning, this wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry! Please forgive me..."

I felt him pull his hand away, and for a moment I was afraid he was loathing me for what I had done, but I was wrong. He used his hand to wipe away my tears before pulling my hand weakly so I would lay next to him on the bed. Once I did, he told me to place his arms around me since he didn't have the strength to do it himself.

We lay there, him comforting me, caressing my back until my sobbing stopped.

"Can you tell me what happened? I won't get mad at you. I just need to know if I need to take advantage of time we have now." Siwon whispered next to my ear.

I had to be strong. I couldn't break down anymore, not when our time together was so limited. I took a deep breath before explaining what happened to him.

It was harder than I thought. By the time I finished, tears were once again running down my face, soaking the front of his hospital gown. Still, Siwon never pushed me away.

"Why aren't you pushing me away? Don't you hate me?" I asked, holding on to his gown like a scared child.

"Why would I hate you? It's not your fault." He whispered, giving me a light kiss on my forehead. "It's not you who told me to drink so much and neither did you make me drive while drunk."

"But if I had not-"

"No, no matter where you look at it from, you did nothing wrong, my love." 

"I'm still sorry." I said, still not being able to forgive myself.

We then stayed in a short, comfortable silence before suddenly blurting out: "I found the ring."

"You read the note as well, didn't you? Was it too cheesy?" he asked, hiding his lightly blushing face in my hair.

"It was perfect," I answered without hesitation before continuing, "and the answer is yes and will forever remain a yes."

I felt his hold on me tighten a little before he kissed my cheek.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too." I answered back without hesitation. I had finally said it. For the first time since we met, I told him I loved him.

I looked up and saw him looking down at me, tears staining his handsome face but still gazing at me as if I was the most unique and beautiful thing he had seen. That was enough for me to realize that he had resigned, that he knew he was not waking up tomorrow anymore, yet he still saw me as the most precious thing in his life.

 

 

 

There we lay, resting in each other's embrace, talking of everything and nothing at the same time. Avoiding what would be our final words. It was like this that seconds turned to minutes which then turned to hours, and before we knew it, it was time.

"Kyu, I'm tired." Siwon whispered, his eyes closing and taking a little longer than before to open once again.

"No, Wonnie, please don't leave yet. Just stay a little longer with me." I plead, not yet ready or wanting to let him go.

"No, Kyu. No matter how much time we are given, we are always going to want a little more." He smiled softly before leaning down to give me a kiss full of love and tenderness. "Live your life, my love, but please think of me every so often, for I will forever be thinking of you. And most importantly, never forget that I love you."

"I love you too, Siwon, forever." 

We then both closed our eyes and leaned forward to share another loving kiss. A kiss full of emotions. A kiss full of words we would never be able to speak out loud. A kiss full of a bittersweet feeling. But most importantly...

 

 

 

A kiss that would mark the end of our love story.

 

 

 

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A/N: First of all, ignore all the typos because I typed this back when I was still to stubborn to use auto-correct in my ipod. xD

Please don't hate me, it was Siwon's turn to die. >.<

Anyways, what do you think? Please share your thoughts on the one shot with me, I would really appreciate it. :)

Thanks to the people who subscribed and waited for me to update. A special thanks and a big hug to the person who upvoted this fic, you know who you are. :D

 

Thank you for reading! Love you<3

 

 

Septermber 10th, 2014