It's silent in the hospital room. I'm bored just looking at you, I want you to wake up soon. I could listen to music, but I don't want to miss the moment you open your eyes. The nurses have checked on you a few times in the past hour, but you don't move. You just lie there, still and broken. Are you in pain? I hope not. I don't want you to be uncomfortable.

The doctors had to put you through an X-ray when we got here. I think you have broken yourself in a few places. There's a cast on your right arm, and they bandaged your ankle too. The doctor spoke to me, but I didn't fully understand him. I'm still not good at English. I think he said something about medication to ease the pain. I guess that's what the nurse gave you in the needle when they put you in this room.

I guess I should have studied more for the concert here. I don't come to the UK often. Key Hyung really likes it here, he's been excited about coming here actually. I like the UK too. London is really pretty isn't it? I bet if you were awake, you'd tell me all about living here. Will you wake up soon?

Speaking of my hyungs, they keep calling me. I have my phone on vibrate, but it won't stop them from trying to get a hold of me. They know that I'm with you, but they are worried. I guess they want to make sure you're alright, but what can I say to them? They know I'll be back for the night rehearsal, so why won't they leave me in peace? I'll tell them everything then. I don't want to take my eyes off you. Do you know my hyungs? Do you know who I am? I'm Lee Taemin, the youngest member of SHINee. Do you know SHINee? I guess you do, that's why you pushed me out of the way, right? To be honest, I'm not sure why you saved me, because you're not awake to tell me.

It's my fault you're lying there silently. If I was cautious, I wouldn't have ran in front of that car. I wasn't thinking. Hyung told me not to separate from my bodyguards, but I didn't mean it. The fans quickly surrounded us, and I got scared. I ran down the street until I had no choice but to cross the road, I didn't even see the car coming. You shouted as loud as you could, ran to me, and pushed me out of the way. I fell down hard, but not as hard as you did. Everything slowed down after that. When the ambulance came, you were still knocked out. We tried to wake you up, but you didn't awaken. I've stayed with you since then.

They are finding it hard to contact your parents. I guess they are at work. I heard something about a train or helicopter, so I guess they don't live with you. How old are you? You look really young to be living away from your parents. You're probably a university student or something, right? I hope your friends know you're in here, they will want to see you. It would be better than seeing the pabo that put you in this horrid place anyway. But even if you hate me, I want to talk to you just once. I want to apologise for doing this to you.

I don't need to imagine your personality, I already know it. You're kind, gentle, golden hearted, and a fool. You risked your life for me. Why would you do that for me? I can't help but to wonder what your name is, but I bet it's something gentle. I'm not sure who you are, because no one gave me your name. Even if you were a fool, I know that you're the reason that I'm still alive. Because of that, I won't leave your side, until you can walk away with me.

It's been 5 hours since you came into hospital now. The sky is already turning a pinky orange with the sunset. It's such a pretty view. I bet you'd like the view, although I guess you've seen it a lot of times. I don't get to see it often. I wish you were awake to see it with me.

I have good news for you though. It seems that they have managed to contact your parents. You'll be able to see them soon. They didn't seem too excited about it though, I think something might be wrong. But I can't worry until I know for sure. You don't want to awaken to see a worried face, right? When you awaken, you'll be greeted by my happy smiling face. I won't even have to fake it, because when you open your eyes, I know I'll be the happiest I've ever been.

I was so lost in the maze of pink clouds, that I didn't even notice that you had began to stir awake. Only when I heard a quiet gasp of shock, was when I turned around to see you grimacing in pain and confusion. You're in pain, so I guess the pain killers have worn off already. It took you a moment to get used to your surroundings, but when you saw me by the window, you tensed up again. Did I scare you? I feel guilty. I don't want to make it awkward, but I don't know what to say. I don't even know how to talk to you fluently. I'm an idiot.

It took you a while, but you seem to recognise me. You must have been really shocked to find me in the same room as you. Hearing you stutter my name makes my heart skip a beat. Your voice is so gentle and warm. The way you bite your bottom lip after you say "Oppa" is just too cute. I can't stop smiling now. So you really do know me. I wonder if that's the reason you saved me, but you tell me that you'd risk your life for anyone. You really do have a heart of gold don't you? I feel even worse for putting you in this position. Why don't you hate me for putting you in this position?

After a short while, you managed to sit up with my help. You didn't say much at first, it's not easy to talk to someone when you're not fluent in their language, I know that much. But now we're almost confident with talking to each other. We don't say full sentences, but little words help us talk in that sense. You finally tell me your name, and my thoughts are correct. Your name is really pretty, just like you. I keep trying to tell you that I think you are cute, but I keep blushing. You must already know that I'm trying to tell you something sweet, because you keep laughing and blushing with me. In the end, all we manage to do for the next 5 minutes is smile and blush at each other.

Your hands are really soft too. I just wanted to comfort you by holding your hand, but now I can't let go. You're just really cute and pitiful like this. I must have said that I'm sorry almost a hundred times by now, but you keep shaking your head and smiling at me.

I finally get the courage to ask you why you saved me, but I'm not sure if I want to hear it now. It makes me feel even worse about what I've done. But I can't just ignore that I've put you in here. That would be the most disrespectful thing I've ever done. The SHINee hyungs would be mad if I did something like that. I can't avoid it now. You tell me that you're a fan of SHINee, and you were worried about me when I got scared and ran away. You were confused, because our fans would never harm us, yet I still ran away. I don't know why I ran. I still feel guilty. You don't seem to mind though, because you said you're happy to protect me. I wish I didn't need protecting though.

I'm crying. I can't help it anymore. Why are you so kind to me? Why did you do something so risky for me? I had to lower my head, I don't want you to see me like this, I don't deserve the pity. Yet, you still give it to me. Your voice is sweet, trying to tell me that you're happy I'm alive. You wanted to risk your safety, just so the thousands of fans wouldn't be upset if I did get hurt. That's the most amazing thing a fan has ever done for me. You said it's because I have given you so much through my music, that you wanted to pay me back. I didn't realise my music meant so much to anyone. Because of this, I promise to try even harder from now on.

It's been a while, but the doctors said that your parents have arrived now. Thank goodness. I was worried that they weren't going to make it. The sky has already started to gain it's stars for the night, meaning that I need to go. I promised everyone that I'd attend the rehearsal tonight. It's our concert tomorrow night, but I guess you already knew that. Did you have a ticket? I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Now you may not be able to see the concert, and it's not often I come to the UK. But don't worry, I'll be sure to do another with the hyungs next year, so you can come see us.

Your parents finally walk into the room, and I feel even worse now. Your dad doesn't seem to happy with me, but he has a good reason not to like me. I try to explain myself, but your mum shakes her head, telling me that she's not surprised you jumped out to save me. So that's the type of person you are? I thought you were just making up things not to make me feel bad. There's not many who would do that for anyone.

It's time for me to go now. I promise you that I will come see you tomorrow before the concert. You smile back at me, but I can tell that you're sad that I have to go. I don't want to go either, but if I'm late, I may not be able to see you at all tomorrow. I don't want to be forced to stay in the arena all day, I want to come see you. Before I leave, I give you a quick kiss on the cheek. It's sort of awkward, because I'm smiling too much from the warmth of your soft skin. I don't get to kiss girls much, so it's still new to me. I bet you find that fact weird about me. Despite this, you blush with me and even hide your smile under the bed covers. So cute!

I bow a few times to your parents, apologising once more for my actions that put you in this state. Once I feel like it's the right moment, I walk out of the room, and down the long hall with heavy footsteps. I can't stop biting my lip, I'm scared that I'd start crying again if I did. The only thing to do now is get back to my hyungs. I hope they aren't mad at me. I don't want to be shouted at right now.

***********************************************************

I'm walking as fast as I can right now. I'm excited to see you again. Are you recovering well? I hope so, because you are all I thought about last night. You were on my mind so much, that I had a dream about you. I hope that's not weird. Maybe I won't tell you about that, you'd think your Oppa is weird. I brought you a few things to cheer you up. I really hope you like them. I got some merchandise for you from the concert tonight. Well actually I got you one of everything. I tried to pick a few things, but I thought that you deserved everything. I also have a little bear for you that I made at build-a-bear. I've kept it since I made it in Thailand, 3 years ago. I take it everywhere with me. I want to give it to you so you can remember me when I go back home. I'm sure you'll look after it well. I have a few more things too, but the bear is the main thing I want to give to you. That, and maybe another kiss.

When I walk in the room, I notice that you don't look as excited as you had done yesterday. Maybe you're lonely staying in a private room alone? Don't worry now though, because I'm here to cheer you up. You gave me a smile as I walk into the room. I'm not sure if you're excited about seeing me, or because I have gifts, but I don't mind. I'm just happy because you're smiling now. You force yourself to sit up on your own before I even get the chance to help you. I wish you hadn't have done that, because you gave a really pained expression. You must have really hurt yourself yesterday. I apologised again, and if I wasn't out of range, you would have smacked me. You don't like me apologising so much, do you?

I'm glad you like the gifts. You're holding the bear in your arms. Actually, you're hugging him so tightly, I'm worried that the stuffing will pop right out of it. I guess you love it just much as I do. I didn't really have a name for it, I just called it "Bear", but you decided to pick one for the memory. "Taeminnie." How cute. You thought it would be nice to name it after me, so now it's like you can carry me around everywhere. 'You really look cute cuddling the bear like that. But wouldn't you rather cuddle me instead?'

You're laughing. Did I say that last part aloud? I only meant to think it, not tell you. Now I'm blushing again! Pabo Taemin! You hold your arms out, inviting me for a hug. I'm not going to reject that offer! I don't think I could have leaned in and hugged you any quicker than I just did. You were warm and soft, just like yesterday, but something feels different. Maybe I'm just tired from the late night. Key Hyung says I'm worrying too much about you. Why shouldn't I? It's my fault. Did I mention I'm sorry?

After a while, you pulled away from me to get something. You said it is important to you, just like the bear is to me. You reached to the table by the bed, picking up a bracelet. It's simply stunning, so precious and pretty. It matches you perfectly. I looked at it for ages, listening to your gentle voice tell the tale behind it. Your parents gave it to you when you were young, telling you that it was important, but that you wouldn't understand until you were older. That's when you show me your sweet smile again, telling me that you now know what your parents meant.

With that, you held my wrist gently, pulling it up to a suitable height. I keep my hand still in midair, letting you slip the bracelet around my slender wrist. I wasn't sure if I deserved the gift, it was really important to you. I tell you that I want to return it, but you look sad after hearing that. Have I upset you? I didn't mean to. You told me that you wanted me to have it, taking it as a remembrance of me as your guardian angel. So that's what the bracelet means? It's so much cooler than a lame teddy! I'll have to buy you more gifts in the future to make up for it. I'll shower you with gifts every chance I get.

I can't stop twirling the bracelet around my wrist. I'm literally hypnotized by it's beauty, but only for a moment. Your beauty is harder to stop admiring than the gift's. You're biting your lip again, like you are holding something back. You shake your head, telling me that you really wanted to see the concert. So that's what is bothering you? Now I feel bad again. But you tell me not to worry, because you're happy that I can still do what I love to do. You eventually tell me the story of what you want to do in your life. It's a big dream, but if you study hard, I bet you will reach your goal. It's not easy to fulfill your life's wish, and you know that. You tell me that's why you look up to me so much, because I motivate you to aim for the top. I hear these words a lot from fans, but it's different coming from your lips.

How has 2 hours gone by already? I really don't want to leave, because I know that I won't have any time to see you after the concert. We leave for our next concert destination in France very early in the morning, and the hospital won't permit visitors at that time. I don't want to part from you just yet. I feel like there's still a lot that I want to know about you. You feel the same, I see it in your expression. You're clutching onto Taeminnie really tightly now, tighter than before, and your lip is trembling as you bite down on it to stop the tears from flowing. Why do we have to part already? Isn't it too soon to say goodbye?

I want to stay longer, but we both know that I can't. You smile at me, telling me that it's time for me to leave. If I don't go now, I don't I ever will. It's not fair, but I have to go for the sake of the concert. You understand that, and you seem ok with it. Are you really? I know I'm not. With a heavy heart, I lean towards you, wrapping my arms around you in a comforting and tender hug. I can't help but to moan at your sweet scent. So perfect. I pull away from a moment, but then find myself going back towards you. Before we can protest, we find our lips pressed tightly together. My first kiss, and it's with you. You seem shocked at first, and you're not the only one. But soon we are enjoying it, smiling and giggling and the feeling.

As soon as our lips part, our eyes refuse to part. I want to look at you for a little bit longer, but I can't. It's time to go. I caress your blushing cheek one last time, before turning away and walking to the door. I send you one last smile, before bowing a kiss and taking my leave. My heart is breaking. I wish I didn't have to leave, but the hyungs would be mad if I didn't turn up for final rehearsal. Just as I'm tuning the corner to walk out the ward, I hear your gentle voice call out to me. "Taemin Oppa, fighting!"

***********************************************************

I stand on the stage with the SHINee hyungs. Just as I promised, we came back to hold a concert in the UK, so you could watch us on stage. But even to idols, the world isn't always fair. It's been a year since you left us. A year ago, you closed your eyes, and never opened them. The injury was too much for your precious body to handle, and you passed.

My heart aches every time I look out for you, but suddenly remember that I won't see you again. You left so suddenly, and you knew that the end was coming, didn't you? Is that why you told me all of those things, to keep me going no matter what? To reassure me that despite your end coming near so fast, you were ready and happy to die. Do you know how much it hurt when I found out that you passed? It was all over the news. I can't imagine the pain your parents went through. If I had only just looked, you would have been able to see us live the first time.

But, even though your body is no longer with me, you're still alive. I know, because I see you in my dreams, you give warmth when I cold, and you give me the strength to carry on when I'm sure I can't. You're not really dead, because I know that you're always with me. I heard that you were buried with Taeminnie, you really loved that bear as much as I did, didn't you? I still have the gift you gave me, no one ever sees me without it. I feel unless I'm wearing the bracelet. It reminds me of you. The one who saved my life. My guardian angel.

Hi everyone.

So this took me longer than expected, but I was too upset about my Nana, that it was hard to write at times.

I hope you liked it, and I hope it spoke out to you in some sort of way.

R.I.P my Nana, and to EunB and RiSe of girls code, who have sadly passed away recently.

Don't take life for granted. Live it to the full while you can. X