“It was hard trying to forget you in the past and in this lifetime.. it was painful. But I never thought that meeting you again and realizing you don't remember me, is much more painful. Because.. I remember you. Never once forgotten."

Seoul, South Korea 2014

 •Jaejoong•

“Junsu-yah, have you talked to Yunho before?" Jaejoong whispered to his cousin. He peeked at Yunho just across his chair beside the window. He's looking outside. Deep in thoughts.

Junsu gave him a are-you-kidding-me look. “Jung Yunho? That transferee? No way. Everyone's afraid to approach him because he's scary. Always with that blank expression. Why do you ask anyway?" he grinned. Junsu is obviously teasing him.

Jaejoong fought back a blush but failed. “I-I was just curious, stupid Junsu!" he let out a sigh. He glanced at Yunho. “I get this strange feelings towards him. Like we've met before and I've known him for a long time. A deja vu? I don't know." he said. His eyes widened when Yunho turned and met his eyes. 

He saw a flicker of intense sadness in his eyes and... regret? Jaejoong looked away. He clutched his chest. His heart is beating wildly it's almost painful. “What is this?" he whispered.

Junsu tapped his shoulders. “Yah! What's wrong? Are you hurt anywhere? Wanna go to infirmary?" he looked worried. He counted up to ten to settle his nerves then smiled at Junsu. “No. I'm okay. I was just startled when Yunho saw me looking at him."

Junsu's teasing smile came back. “Ah! So, have you realized now that you like him?" Jaejoong kicked his legs under the table before standing up. “Stupid Junsu," then he walked out of the classroom. 

•Yunho•

Yunho's eyes followed Kim Jaejoong until he disappeared in the corridor. He sighed in exasperation when he remembered Jaejoong's expression when their eyes met. He looked a bit bewildered and a lot curious. As a matter of fact, Yunho knew that Jaejoong was always watching him from afar. And everytime, he fights the urge to meet his gaze. He doesn't know how and what to say to him.

Due to his father's work, Yunho and his family transferred from Gwangju to Seoul. He really doesn't mind. He doesn't have friends. Not that he doesn't want to have one. But everytime, the friends he thought he had, always leaves him. They said he's too boring and mature when they are too adventurous and childish. He didn't get mad. Because though he's 18, in his mind he's already 198 years old... if he'll count from the first life he had.

Yunho stood up and followed Jaejoong. He saw him in the corridor looking at the garden. He hesitated for a while, but still approached Jaejoong. 

“The wind here is nice. Better than from the window near my seat," he said. Jaejoong gaped at him with his mouth wide open. Yunho chuckled. Jaejoong blushed.

“Uhm. I'm sorry?” Jaejoong managed to say after recovering from his shock, “What were you saying again?" he laughed.

“Hi. I'm Jung Yunho. Transfer student from Gwangju. 18 years old. And I'm not, by any means, harmful," Jaejoong was just looking at him intently. Like he is some kind of a ghost. Suddenly, he remembered a certain person and he felt a pang of guilt and regret. No. Stop.

He cleared his throat loudly. Enough to make Jaejoong come back to his senses. He raise his right hand to him asking for a handshake. “Pleased to meet you---?"

Jaejoong blinked at him twice before reaching for his hands. “Jaejoong. Kim Jaejoong. An old student here. 17 years old. And definitely harmless too. Nice to meet you, Jung Yunho-ssi,” he smiled sweetly at him. And it was his turn to gape at him.

Memories from more than a hundred years ago appeared in his head like it was only yesterday. He felt once again that he doesn't belong in the present life he's living. If he's really living.. because until today, he can feel that his heart died along with “her”.. in his first life.

--Yunho's past life--

As he remember, he was first born in Marseilles, a city south of France in Bouches-du-Rhone region, on December 26, 1816 as Daniel Clovis. They didn't live a wealthy life. Both his parents were servants for the reigning king that time. As the king's servant's child, he was given the privilege to study until high-school. He graduated at the age of 16 in the year 1832, two years after the king flew out of the country and was replaced.

Year 1834, Daniel was transferred to Paris. He was sent as a soldier when there were republican uprisings in Lyons and Paris. There he met the orphan and very beautiful Estelle Fleur. 

Theirs was love at first sight amidst the uproar around them. They lived together in Paris. Vowed to love, cherish, and protect each other... until that one fateful day.

Assassins were sent to kill the king. As a soldier, it was Daniel's obligation to protect him. They had planned to transfer the king before the assassins came for they were notified about the said attack. 

He didn't tell Estelle about it because he know for sure that she will tag along with him. And he just can't risk her life like that. Later that night, bringing only 3 cars and a handful of soldiers including Daniel, they departed with the king. 

Daniel will drive the middle car with the king. He doesn't know why but ever since he went inside the car, he's been feeling uneasy and nervous. He glanced at the person next to him in the passenger seat. It's been bothering him for a while that he has the same scent as Estelle. He knew that it is rude to stare.

He was about to stop glancing his way when the soldier removed his helmet. “Estelle!" he shouted which shocked everyone in the car, “What are you doing here? How did you know about this?! It's dangerous! Why did you come?!" he's mad. So freaking mad at her. And nervous and worried as hell at the same time. 

Estelle looked down and is about to cry. His face softened and touched her hand gently. “I'm sorry for shouting. I'm just concerned about you. You know how much I care for you, right?" he asked. Estelle nodded. “I'm sorry t--"

“The assassins! They're following us! Daniel drive faster! They will catch up! The third car was bombed just now," the soldier seating at the back said. He stepped on the pedal to drive faster when the car ahead of them exploded! Daniel tried to avoid colliding with it. What he didn't notice was that the assassin's car drove past the burning car to hit them. It was too late to avoid it. The next thing he knew is they were falling down on a not so steep cliff. 

After their fall, he searched for Estelle and found her unconscious beside him with blood all over her face. He felt an adrenaline rush and despite the difficulty, he managed to get out of the car. Just when he was about to take Estelle out, the sergeant who was barely conscious, shouted. "Daniel! Save the king! Hurry!"

“NO! I will save Estelle first!" he's struggling to pull her out of the car but her legs were trapped. He started panicking. He kept pulling her. But all his efforts were futile. “No. This can't be happening. Estelle! Wake up, baby please," but there was no response. He touched her hand and he felt a very faint pulse. He's going to save her. He must save her.

“Daniel! Get the king out of the car now before it explodes!" the sergeant shouted again. His feet were smashed too and he's in a much worse situation than Estelle. The soldier at the back is not moving. Same as the king. But he can see from the way his chest is moving up and down that he's still breathing.

Daniel gritted his teeth while still tugging her. “No!" he won't leave Estelle here. Never. The sergeant in a much weaker voice said, “I understand what you are feeling right now. She's the most important person to you. But you are on duty right at this moment! It is your top priority to save the king, the most important person in the country! I'm giving you this order, Daniel Clovis. I'm still your sergeant. Save the king!"

Daniel bit his tongue and head towards the king quickly. He decided that as soon as he got him out and moved him in a safer place, he'll come back to save Estelle. 

Afterwards he run as fast as he could back to the car. He saw Estelle who was conscious already. He held her hand. “Wait a bit more baby. I'll save you and we will go home together, okay?" he whispered. She gave him a faint smile. He tried pulling her again with all his might but stopped when he saw her winced. She's hurt. Damn it. 

She held his face. “Daniel... je t'aime.. don't forget that I have never loved anyone as much as I loved you,” she whispered in a hoarse tone. As he saw tears in her eyes, he tried even harder to get her out of the car. And he still failed. He cursed. He kneeled beside the car then kissed Estelle on the lips. “If I can't get you out, then wouldn't it be better to stop struggling and just stay with you?" he said. 

Estelle shook his head. Her cries turned into a loud sob. “Don't. You have to live. For me. For yourself. Please Daniel. Save yourself," she begged.

His jaw tightened. Resolve evident in his eyes. “No. I won't. If you live, I'll live. If you die, I'll die with you," he bumped his forehead on hers. “I can't live without you.." he closed his eyes. Suddenly, he heard voices calling his name.

“Daniel! Get away from the car! It will explode soon!" that was the voice of his close friend Ethan. He pretended not to hear and held Estelle's hand tightly. While her grip on him loosened. “I love you, Daniel. We will meet again. I promise." she whispered and smiled.

Then he felt strong hands pulling him away from the car.. from the most important girl in his life. “NO! NO! Save Estelle instead! Save her!" he tried to shake them off but he's still weak from his injuries. He felt like his heart stopped when the car exploded right in front of him.. with Estelle's sweet smile. Her last smile for him. And the most painful.

He almost lose consiousness due to the impact of the explosion which is only a few meters aways from him. His ears are ringing. He felt a slight burn from his left arm. But none of those mattered. He walked towards the burning car.

“Estelle! Estelle!" he weep. But she can no longer hear his voice. When he looked at the car, he saw her burning body. His eyes blurred from tears. He lost her. He wasn't able to save her. She died in his own hands. He killed her. 

--END of Chapter 1--

•Author's note•

Hi! Thanks for reading the 1st chapter! Before you leave, I will be explaining some details and trivia about it.

Do wanna know the meaning behind the names Daniel Clovis and Estelle Fleur? Well then here it is:

Daniel is a French name which means “God is my judge”. His surname Clovis, is the name of a Frankish king who united France under his rule in the 5th century.

Estelle means “star” which was derived from the Latin word “Stella”. Fleur is a French name means “flower”. When I saw these names, I thought that they were really perfect for Yunho and Jaejoong. My Cassiopeia instinct told me so. Haha!

About the king: The 1st king that I mentioned is actually the Bourbon King, Louis XVIII. It's true that he flew out of France when political issues and discontent arose. On July 1830, Louise Philippes became the king. The event I mentioned about republican uprisings in Lyons and Paris in 1834 (where Daniel and Estelle met. But they are purely fictional characters) were also a fact written in the history. Year 1836, assassins were sent to kill Louise Philippes, also a fact. But the car-chasing and cliff-falling scenes I wrote were by no means true and was just a story I made up. I can tell you what really happened during the assassination but then I guess you won't be interested. LOL

The city where Daniel was born, Marseilles, France and the info about it, were also a fact. There.

If you have further questions, please feel free to ask. But if it's about the upcoming chapters, I won't tell you! LOL

Thank you again for reading! Hope you enjoyed the 1st chapter of Mémoires de vous! ≧ε≦