I feel so weak...

I am crying in my bed right now…

I just feel so ing exhausted. 

I try… 

I try to be strong but i cant 

I try to be strong so i can look back and smile with a  proud feeling.  

But i cant.

You know that feeling when you do your best and people still don’t give gratitude. 

gratitude, for someone to just   understand you.

Not even my ing family is supportive.

I moved to another country and have no friends.

I live with my aggressive brother and a father who well… is a as well.

I just cant live like this. 

I wanna die so badly… 

Why does God have go put be through this? 

Is there a God?

Why would he do this to me?

Why…

I just want someone to hug me…

I just want someone to listen.

Anyone...

My name is Minah and i am 18 years old.

This summer i moved to Seoul, Korea.

I don't know the language well or anyone.

I have no friends here, even tho i didn't have any back home either ...

I have been going to Korean lessons to study the language.

Its going pretty good, but everything around me really isn't.

Sometimes  i feel like i have nobody.

My mother lives back home and even she doesn't understand.

When we talk on the phone she always says 

" Help your brother, to something with yourself!!"

Huh, how ironic...

I literally do everything but like always, nobody notices.

My father only sees my brother as the golden one.

And me? He sees me as a lowlife who will never achieve anything.

When i was little i heard him talking to my mom about me.

And about how i was useless.

I just wanna die sometimes.

But, i am too big of a coward to actually cut myself or jump off a bridge.

No no... I would like to just sleep forever.

Never wake up, at times like these when i cry in my bed.

I pray to God to just kill me quickly and painlessly.

I know i will kill myself one day.

I just know...

 

Well that was depressive...
 
Hah, i am sorry you guys if its bad! 

I have  good feeling about this fanfic and yeah...

Please support! Saranghae