"Hold ya... Just wanna hold ya...~ , Eunhyuk, 2014"

A continuation of previous chapter,

               I can’t move far enough. . I’m stumbling in the rain. I sit under a tree, clutching my bleeding abdomen. Siwon. I need to call Siwon.

A presence. Someone is approaching.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “Are you ill?”

Bastard. off. I hiss at him.

I see him shudder. A rush of pleasure at the site of it…

I have no choice but to let him treat me. He’s a vet. Oh the irony.

It‘s painful when he sutures me up. Every tug of needle only adding on to the jabbing pain all over my body. He offers me painkiller. But I can’t take it. I can’t lose my mind. I can’t be any more vulnerable than I am now.

I see his hand shaking as he tends me. Such a red hair doesn’t suit such a scared face. Intimidating him is such a joy.

It’s too much when he wants to bring me home. My only good hand is closing on his windpipe. He’s struggling against my hold.  What is his intention? When I let him go, he still insists to bring me to his house? Siwon. I should call Choi Siwon now. I don’t know how to handle this kind of person.

Taunting him as he drives through the night… Making conversation is not my intention at all. Showing him who’s in control. I’m in control. Even though I’m allowing him to bring me to his house…

Lying face down on his bed, with a foreign smell, and I let him apply some cream onto my back. Siwon. I need to call Siwon…

*

I wake up feeling so fresh. How long has it been since I feel like this. My body is still in pain but my mind is so relax… . . I slept too long. What have I done? It’s already morning. I need to call Siwon.

Siwon picks me up from the vet’s house. He frets and complains how he’s been frantically looking for me all night.

“You’ve been sleeping all these while??” He exclaims.

“I did.”

Something must have shown on my face, because Siwon keeps quiet after that. He calls our family doctor. The doctor gives me antibiotics. Nothing to be done for my physical wounds because they have been patched up nicely by that vet.

Something is off. Yesterday night I slept so well. But tonight I’m plagued by images that leave me breathless again. it. So annoying. I go to his house again. I use the duplicated key that I made this morning. The house is empty. I lie on his bed again, face down like yesterday. Nothing. I’m not calming down.  It takes me one hour to decide that this is useless. I leave the house. I need to find out more about him.

I feel so restless. I want to go and find him. The daily reports about him from Siwon are not enough. As soon as my plane touches down from Beijing, I will go and find him.

He’s asleep. The light is very dim. But he looks quite pretty. I sit beside him on the bed. And he immediately jolts awake. Oh, such a light sleeper are you? He seems wary in the beginning. But when he relaxes, I feel myself relaxing as well. He’s asking me question after question. I answer nonchalantly.

His lips. Why are they so plump? The sudden desire to possess him invades me. So I do what my instinct tells me to do. I claim him as mine…

I see his face scrunches in pain as I enter him, and I find myself slowing down.

I never know I have it in me. To be gentle. It feels so good…

Hi, I want to brag that I flew to Seoul and watched all 3 days of Super Show last month :))