Kai's POV

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After the ”Pretty Boy” performance with Taemin, I noticed a change in Kyungsoo’s interactions with me. First I didn’t really mind it since I had come to know and respect his mode swings, he is a complicated guy but worth loving. After the stage with my friend, Kyungsoo stopped initiate conversations, skinship or just the smallest gestures I knew he did for me. When I had a long practice, he would be ready with some home cooked food and help me shower. He didn’t cook for the other members, that I knew but I didn’t see it as a big deal. Kyungsoo and I are probably the closest of the members so it didn’t seem unfair to the others.

Now, a week after the “Pretty Boy” stage Kyungsoo had completely stopped and tried his best to ignore me. Even when he was mad at me he didn’t act this way, so I was getting worried if I did something wrong. The person I was next close to was Sehun, he had noticed the change in Kyungsoo’s behavior towards me too and had asked me if we had gotten into a fight.

“I don’t know why he’s ignoring me, Sehun-ah.” Was my reply as I sunk deeper into the sofa in our dorm. I rested my hands on my face, trying to hide the mix of emotions. I really didn’t like to fight with Kyungsoo and I didn’t even know what I had done wrong.

“You need to talk to him, the managers will find out soon if you don’t fix it, and we both know it’s better not to get them involved.” He always knew what to say to me when I wasn’t in my clear mind, he was a good friend even though he had his mischievous moments.

I let out a sigh before standing up to get my things, I had a late practice with Taemin that I was running late to. “I’m going to talk to him, don’t worry.” I patted Sehun on the shoulder and fished up my phone as I walked towards the door. I dialed my manager’s number and told him to come pick me up outside the building.

~

When I arrived, Taemin was already there, as expected, but didn’t scold me for being late. I think he felt my sour mood and we began our practice without heavier words than small greetings.

With the loud music pumping through the speakers, I let go off all my frustration into the dance. I messed up more than I usually did, but it still felt good moving my body to the music and with every pop of my chest to the symmetric movement of hands, I felt my body getting more and more exhausted.

I had almost forgot Taemin was in there with me whenever he would speak up to me, trying to encourage me so I wouldn’t mess up as much, but it didn’t help as the words kindly left my brain once in.

I didn’t notice the hours going by until Taemin placed a hand on my shoulder, telling me that it was time to stop and get back to the dormitory. He tried making small talk with me as we were wrapping our things up but when I didn’t respond with more than a hum or a nod he stopped trying.

As we were in front of the studio, waiting for our managers to come pick us up, Taemin broke the comfortable silence that had formed. “What’s got you so distracted today?”

I took my time to scribble the right words together so it didn’t sound like a stupid reason, “Kyungsoo is avoiding me..” I was going to wait for Taemin’s response before I continued but when I saw him encourage me to explain it more with his hand, I sighed and obeyed my hyung. “I don’t know why, to be completely honest.”

After what seemed to be five anxious minutes from my side, I looked at the slightly shorter male for some sort of support or sympathy. He gave me a weird look and chuckled, “I bet he’s just shy, Jongin-ah. Talk to him and sort this out, we can’t have you distracted like this.” He pushed my shoulder with poor strength as he saw Jonghyun pull up in front of us.

I looked confused at him since I was expecting his manager to come pick him up and not Jonghyun. He only shrugged my expression off and mouthed a ‘talk to you later’ as he opened the front seat, revealing the rest of Jonghyun. I greeted my hyung and offered him a bow, which he returned by a genuine smile and a candy-coated greeting. Taemin laughed at Jonghyun while he got in and waved to me before closing the door. I watched them drive off a little confused and shortly after my own ride came to pick me up.

~

When I got back to the dormitory at 2 am, everyone had already went to bed. I moved around the dorm with smooth and quiet steps to make sure I didn’t wake any of my members up. We all had a packed schedule so sleep meant a lot to us, even if it was just a few hours.

After a hot cleansing shower, I decided to go to bed and get some rest. To my surprise, Kyungsoo wasn’t asleep when I stepped inside our tidied bedroom. I found him leaning up against the headboard of the bed with one of his favorite books in hand, he always read it when something was wrong and the fact he was reading it right now only proved my suspicion. He hadn’t noticed me yet, or that he was ignoring me, which I hoped wasn’t the case.

I moved without noise to our shared closet and quickly pulled some boxers and shorts on that I could wear for the night. Moving closer to my bed, I threw the damped towel in the laundry basket, before crashing on the way too soft bed.

I decided to take the advice I had gotten from both, Sehun and Taemin, and try to talk to him about what was going on. I the lamp on my bed table before clearing my throat so Kyungsoo would notice my presence. He jolted from surprise and I heard a choked breath escape his throat. I was sorry for giving my hyung a minor shock but relieved that he hadn’t noticed me entering before – that meant he wasn’t ignoring me.

“Kyungsoo-yah.” I almost cooed. My voice was so hoarse from all the exercise that it seemed impossible not to make it sound that way. I saw that Kyungsoo decided to give me his full attention as he marked his page and closed the book, placing it on the bed table before turning his body in the direction of mine.

“I didn’t hear you enter.. How was practice?” I knew by the tone in his voice that it was a forced question, not wanting me to know his feelings, it also told me he had been waiting up for me to come home, like what he always did when I stayed out late.

“Kyungsoo-yah.” It sounded demanding but caring as well and it was meant to, Kyungsoo knew that tone all too well by the way he stiffened and stared everywhere else than at me. I sighed and propped myself against the headboard of my bed, “You know, everyone is asking me if we had a fight or something, by the way you have been acting towards me.” Okay, maybe only Sehun noticed, but Kyungsoo didn’t need to know that.

He didn’t answer me and kept staring everywhere else than at me. I let my frustration audible with another sigh as I stood up to walk over to Kyungsoo’s bed. His body language screamed that he was uncomfortable by the way his fingers were fidgeting and the tensing of his body.

When I was seated beside him, with my legs over the bed and my upper body turned to him, I placed a hand on his thigh. “Kyungsoo, tell me why you are mad at me..” I kept my eyes downward, not feeling comfortable about the conversation at all.

I felt his stare on my hand that was touching his thigh and when I acknowledged that he didn’t even want me touch him I quietly retreated it. I felt horrible, I didn’t know what I had done but I was willing to do anything to make it up so we could get our friendship back, it meant too much to me to let it go easy.

“I’m not mad at you, Jongin-ah.” He finally said to me after a few awkward minutes.

His words made me even more confused than before. If he wasn’t mad at me, then why was he avoiding me? I finally got the courage to look up and meet Kyungsoo’s eyes so I could read what expression he was showing me, and I deeply regretted it when the only thing I saw was sadness. “Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“Jongin, please, just leave me alone.” He pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged them tight, leaving me to feel even worse because I knew that whatever he was feeling was caused by me.

“I can’t.. Kyungsoo, you mean too much, and watching you hurt because of something that I did, it hurts me too..” I tried to his cheek but he was too quickly gone from my reach. “Kyungsoo-yah.”

“Stop, Jongin, please.. Just stop, forget it.” His voice was as low as a whisper now, filled with uncertainty.

“No… No! Tell me, I promise whatever it is that you feel so afraid of telling me, I will still be here after you just tell me.” I looked at him with reassurance, even though my insides where a stumbled mess. I had no clue to what Kyungsoo was about to tell, if he even decided to let me in on it, at this point.

He let out a strained breath and anxiety was written all over his face, it had me questioning the whole situation. Before I could act on my doubts, Kyungsoo showed signs of cooperation.

“I, Jongin, promise me you won’t find me disgusting or pathetic after I tell you..” His anxiety hurt me deep in the bones that I only managed to nod and offer him a hand for support. “I-… Jongin, I like you.” He said the last part so fast that I barely caught it, barely.

I didn’t move in spot, I had never imagined the thing bothering Kyungsoo was his actual feelings towards me. I never thought about it that way, it didn’t even occur as a possibility.

“Say something..” Kyungsoo’s voice brought me back to his trembling state, it sounded so restrained and forceful and when I looked up to meet his eyes, I saw he was at the verge of tears. All I could do was hug him and he let me touch him this time, he even leaned into me but didn’t return the contact. I felt his shoulders begin to bump ever so slightly and a touch of wetness on my shoulder, telling me he was crying.

I couldn’t take it anymore so I softly pushed him down so we were lying down together and pulled the covers over us, wrapping my arms around him once again. I pulled him closer than I had ever hugged him before as I let him bury his face in my chest.

After what felt like torture watching Kyungsoo cry in my arms, he fell asleep from exhaustion and I was left feeling his small peaceful breaths against my bare skin. I couldn’t let myself sleep, there was too much going on in my mind to find peace enough for sleep. Kyungsoo’s confession had me stunned, it was surprising at first but after some thinking, the only thought that came to mind was how brave he was and how much I admired him now. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked down on his face – the flushed red cheeks and his heart shaped lips seemed so much more cuter than I remembered. I found myself drawing the lines of his face while I admired how peaceful he looked after all the crying he had done. It ached inside my heart watching him cry but I couldn’t find myself do anything else than comforting him by showing him I was still here. I was never good with expressing my feelings and I hoped Kyungsoo would consider that so he wouldn’t feel like I rejected him, because I did far than reject him.

~

I was preparing breakfast for the members that had an early schedule since I had given up on getting some sleep after a plethora of hours watching my hyung breathe soft air on my bare chest. It wasn’t much; an omelet with the leftovers from yesterday to make it less boring, but it was better than nothing.

Junmyeon walked in as I poured the last portion on the frying pan, “You’re up early.” I offered him a smile as I was giving the omelet my full attention. “And you’re even making breakfast.”

I felt his disbelieve, so I looked up to meet his gaze, “I couldn’t sleep.” I wasn’t much of a talker when it came to subjects that involved my feelings. Junmyeon knew that so he let me alone with the breakfast as he went away to wake the other members that needed to be up.

It didn’t take long after that when the members started to pop up one by one, looking swollen from their sleep. Baekhyun was the first one to enter the kitchen because the smell had attracted him, “Wooow, something smells nice!” I didn’t get how he could be so cheery right after waking up.

“Jongin is cooking!” With the most obnoxious voice of us all, I knew that was Chanyeol’s, coming from behind me.

I gave him a look and then shooed him so I could place all perfect four omelets on the dining table. It didn’t take more than five seconds before Baekhyun and Chanyeol was seated, eating the omelet with so much ungrace that I looked away. They often reminded me of Shabby and Scooby when it came to food. Junmyeon returned to the kitchen and offered me a tired smile as he sat down and started digging in himself, I could only imagine that it was from waking Sehun up, that maknae sure liked his sleep.

Right on cue, I felt a presence behind me so I turned around and saw a tired Sehun leaning against the counter. “Seeing you cook can only be explained by two things; either did the talk with Kyungsoo go well or bad.” He looked behind me to see what was on the table, “And judging by there is only four plates, then I will guess bad.” He placed a sympathetic hand on my shoulder before slumping over to the others.

After everyone was done, Junmyeon helped me with the dishes. “It’s only going to be you and Kyungsoo until noon, I would take the opportunity to talk to him.” I looked at him surprised, a little taken a back, but then smiled at him and nodded, saying that I planned to use the opportunity well.

Junmyeon was like our group’s father, he was so hardworking and always wished us the best. He knew when to say something and when to just be there without words. He guided us when there was need and praised us when we did well. There have been a more than few incidents when I probably wouldn’t had gotten by if Junmyeon hadn’t been there for me, supporting me with his ever so caring character. There was no doubt that he was the most fit to be EXO-K’s leader.

~

Kyungsoo woke a few hours later after the other members had gone on their schedule. I was sitting on the couch watching some anime that was playing when he came out of our shared room, heading straight to the bathroom when he saw me. I sighed and turned off the television to wait for him to finish. I was getting nervous but I didn’t know why. I had always been comfortable around my hyung and I wasn’t going to let his confession get between us now. It didn’t matter to me if he liked me or not in that way, he was still my friend and I wouldn’t avoid him just because of such a rigid reason.

After a good 10 minutes, he moved carefully out of the bathroom, sticking his head out to scan the room before stepping nervously out of it. “Hyung..” I never called him ‘hyung’, only when I was serious and he needed to pay attention.

It surprised him too to see the frozen state he was currently in, “It’s okay, Jongin. I understand your feelings, I don’t need you to explain.” He turned around so I couldn’t see his face, that I knew from instinct was probably a mess.

I stood up and walked to him, taking a hold of his wrist and turning him softly around. “Come, sit with me for a second, okay?” When I saw him nod after a few hesitant seconds, I pulled him towards the couch and let go of his wrist so I could sit down. I motioned for him to take a seat beside me and gave him a halfhearted smile, it was hard to crack a smile in this tense situation.

“Jongin-ah.. You don’t have to-“

I cut him abruptly off, “Have to what? You don’t know what I am going to say, so why are you putting words in my mouth..” I wasn’t angry at him, I just didn’t understand what he thought I was going to say to him. It was clearly written on his face that he thought I didn’t want to be near him after yesterday, but what surprised me the most was that I wanted to be closer than ever to him.

He looked up from his stare on the floor and met my eyes for a seven heartbreaking seconds, his pain was so severe that it hurt me too. “Do you love me, Jongin-ah?”

The blunt question took me a little off guard, “Of course I love you, Kyungsoo.” I answered immediately so there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings.

“No, I mean, do you like me, like how I like you…” His voice was a soft whisper but there was no sign of regret asking that question, which made me think he was even braver than before. He never failed to impress me and I just wanted to hug him but I knew the time wasn’t right for that.

I pondered over the question, I only got to know about his feelings yesterday but I hadn’t disliked it any moment since, that meant something. I looked up from where my eyes had been rested and stole a glance at the beautiful boy before me. His eyes were sparkling from what I assumed were tears threating to fall, his soft lips were shivering ever so slightly that he bit his lower lip in attempt to make them stop. I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding in and my hands found their way to his cheeks, cupping them as I whipped away the tears falling down from the contact. His doe-eyes found mine and I saw his confusion clear.

I didn’t know the answer to his question, but I knew that I couldn’t take his crying, or him thinking I didn’t love him. “Kyungsoo-yah.. I don’t know, but I do love you.” Without knowing it, my body had begun moving closer to the trembling boy in front of me. I offered him a sad smile that I knew he appreciated by the way he tried to smile back at me.

“Is it because of Taemin?” My hands darted down from his face and landed somewhere on his thighs, letting him think that it was a ‘yes’, but in reality I hadn’t the faintest idea why he had brought Taemin into this matter.

“What of him?” I couldn’t help the confusion slipping onto my face as I stared at him.

“You like him.”

My jaw almost dropped to the floor. So that’s why he has been avoiding me since the “Pretty Boy” stage..
It didn’t make sense, but when did Kyungsoo’s reasoning make sense. I took a hold of his hands and intertwined them when he didn’t pull away. I looked at him fully exposing my adoration for him and just waiting until he would look up from the spot on the floor.

He kept avoiding my eyes so I squeezed his left hand to make him face me. When his eyes finally locked with mine, I saw his eyes tear up once again and before I could even think about the words, they left my mouth. “I love you, hyung.”

At the same instant, the tears began running down his cheeks and I let go of his hands to whip them away softly while making ‘shushing’ sounds to make him stop.

“Kyungsoo-yah, I love you.” I kept repeating those simple words in attempt to make him realize that I actually did love him so he could stop crying.

When the words seemed to not register, I decided to use another method and leaned closer to his face, letting my lips ghost over Kyungsoo’s ever so softly. His sobs came to a halt and I knew he wouldn’t push me away if I tried to kiss him.

Which I did.

I pressed my lips against his carefully, as if I would break him if I was too rough or if I did it too fast. At first, he didn’t respond but after some anxious seconds he met my movements, still keeping it soft and loving. I purred all of my feelings into the kiss, to make sure that he really understood them now. The same did he, showing me just how much I meant to him.

I didn’t pull away before I was sure when I did he wouldn’t start crying again. We barely spoke after that, not as the words were needed, and just enjoyed the company of each other. I the television once again and pulled Kyungsoo close so that his head rested on my chest while I intertwined our hands.