Summer nights were always my favorite. I loved the smell of the air, the sound of the trees rustling, the crickets chirping, everything. I just loved everything about summer nights. Especially him.

My parents were always strict about curfew but because of him, I rebelled and snuck out just to run around with him and do things I’ve never done. I remember the first night I snuck out as if it was yesterday.

“Just jump and I’ll catch you,” he whispered loudly.

“Are you crazy?! My room is on the second floor, we could get hurt!” I hissed.

“But you won’t because I’m here.”

I froze at his words and then sighed. “Fine but I have to warn you, I’m heavy.”

He grinned and extended his arms. “I’m a strong boy; I think I can handle it.”

I opened up my window and when I looked down, my head started to spin. “Oh God, this is crazy,” I said under my breath.

I made sure my shoelaces were tied tightly, made sure that I had my keys and cell phone in my pocket, and most importantly, made sure that he was still standing there.

“Jump!”

I gulped and after taking in a deep breath, I leapt from my window. I let out a squeak and squeezed my eyes shut as I fell. I felt myself land on something strong and sturdy and when I slowly pried my eyes open, I found myself face to face with him.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He smiled.

Summer nights were always chilly, making me shiver as we walked around the neighborhood. Whenever he felt how cold my hand was, he would always take off his sweatshirt and drape it over my shoulders, sniffle a bit and then say, “You should bring a light sweatshirt with you next time.” But I never did because I knew that he would do the same thing.

I let out a sneeze and then shivered a bit. He looked at me and clicked his tongue. “This is why you should listen to me. Summer nights are always chilly.”

He slipped out of his gray sweatshirt and draped it over my shoulders. He slipped my arms through the sleeves, zipped the zipper up halfway, pulled the hood over my head, and sniffled. “You should bring a light sweatshirt with you next time.”

I meekly smiled and nodded. “Got it,” I said softly.

He flashed a lopsided grin and continued to walk forward. I followed after him, a shy smile on my face as I looked down at his sweatshirt. It was still warm from when he wore it and some of his subtle citrusy scent lingered, infiltrating my nostrils. I loved wearing his sweatshirt.

Summer nights were sometimes crazy. We would sometimes venture out to the city, we would sometimes sneak around the neighborhood, finding spots that no one knew existed, or we would sometimes just run around for no reason.

“Stop running so fast!” I shouted as I tried to catch up to him.

He laughed and looked back at me. “You should just run faster!”

I huffed and continued to chase him down the streetlamp lit street. The sound of our feet pounding against the asphalt echoed through the silent night, sometimes being drowned out by the sound of trees being rustled by an occasional breeze.

I caught up to him after what seemed like an eternity and held onto the back of his shirt tightly to ensure that he wouldn’t run away.

He smirked and then put me in a playful chokehold. “What took you so long, you slowpoke?”

My arms flailed around and I said in a strained voice, “L-Let go!”

He let me go and I gasped for air. He then draped himself over my back and nuzzled his cheek against mine. “You’re so cute; I don’t know what to do with you.”

My cheeks burned and I pushed him off. “Then catch me!” I stuck my tongue out and darted forward.

“What?! This is so not fair, you got a head start!” He cried out as he chased after me.

I laughed and continued to run until he caught me in a hug, lifting me up and twirling me around with a wide smile.

Summer nights were sometimes romantic. Although he didn’t like admitting it, he was quite the romanticist. He would even take me on small heartwarming dates from time to time.

“Where are we going?” I asked, my arms moving to and fro in an attempt to find something that would give me a hint on our destination.

“You’ll see once we get there,” he sang, his large warm hands covering my eyes.

I scowled and continued to walk forward. “If it’s some shady place where you’re going to trade me off for God knows what, I will kick your .”

He laughed. “You know I would never do that. Be careful, there are steps.”

I stumbled a bit but quickly regained my footing with his help. “How much longer until we get there?” I questioned.

He didn’t say anything and I frowned. “Hey, are we-“

“Ta-dah!” He exclaimed as he removed his hands from my eyes.

I gasped at the sight of hundreds of fireflies floating around the park, illuminating the dark night. “Whoa…” I said in awe.

He stretched his arms out and smiled widely. “This is my surprise for you.”

I was speechless and he looked at me worriedly. “Are you okay? Do you not like it?”

I shook my head, my eyes starting to burn with tears. “I love it,” I said, my voice shaking a bit.

He sighed in relief and put his hands down. “That makes me really happy to hear,” he breathed.

I walked over to him and then rested my head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

I could feel his stiffen up but then relax. I could feel him moving his arms and then wrapping them around me. I could feel him hold me tight. I could feel his warmth seep through his sweatshirt that I was wearing. I could smell his subtle citrusy scent. I could feel his chest rumble as he whispered a soft “I love you”. I could feel his soft lips press against mine. I could feel his heart pounding against his chest. I could feel everything.

Summer nights were sometimes depressing. The weather wasn’t always kind to us so we always played to our limit on nice nights.

He sighed and slumped over. I tilted my umbrella back and looked at him. “Are you okay?”

He had his bottom lip jutted out and he mumbled, “It’s raining.”

I stared at him for a moment before looking at the fat drops of rain falling at a rapid speed from the sky. I stuck a hand out and watched the rain slowly get my hand wet. “It’s just rain though,” I whispered.

“But it’s ruining our night,” he said softly.

I turned to look at him and saw how down he looked. I then turned my attention back to the rain. “Yeah, you’re right. But we have tomorrow, don’t we?”

A corner of his lip tugged up and he nodded. “We do.”

Summer nights were sometimes serious. We would have a heart to heart and just spill all of our bottled up feelings or deepest secrets.

“You know, I had a grudge against Sehun for two years,” he started.

I cocked an eyebrow and leaned back against the bench we were sitting on, or “our bench” as we liked to call it. “You mean that kid who was as skinny as a toothpick and never really smiled much?”

He snorted and nodded. “That’s him. I was dating this girl back in eighth grade and I found out that she was cheating on me with him. I immediately broke up with her and stayed angry at Sehun for two years until I decided to just let go of it.”

“Speaking of grudges, I once held one for five or more years on this girl who called me a back in elementary school,” I said.

He looked at me with wide eyes. “Are you serious? That’s impressive. Why’d she call you a anyways?”

I shrugged and looked down at my lap. “I have no idea. We were sort of close friends and then I found out from others that she called me a . I held a grudge against her the moment I heard it but decided to just forget about it not too long ago when I realized that it was stupid of me to continue to stay angry at her.”

“Sure was strong of you to do that.” He smirked.

I rolled my eyes and then asked, “She cheated on you?”

He sighed and rubbed his face wearily while mumbling, “Yeah. Said that Sehun was cooler than I was or something like that.”

“Y’know, it could be a good thing that she cheated on you,” I said, my head tilted back to look at the dark sky.

“What?!”

“Because then we would’ve never met.”

He fell silent and then softly chuckled. “You’re right. I don’t even want to imagine what my life could’ve been like if I never met you.”

I softly smiled and hummed in response. I felt something touch the tip of my fingers and when I looked down, I saw him intertwining his fingers with mine. I looked back up at the sky and squeezed his hand. I felt him squeeze back and I sighed with a smile.

Summer nights were sometimes full of childish antics. When we were too lazy to go on our running sprees or go venture out to the city, we would just play on the jungle gym or the swings in the park.

“You at the monkey bars!” He teased as he made his way to the other side easily.

My face burned as I dangled from the bars. “Shut up! I was more of a swing person, not monkey bars person.”

“Really? Then let’s go! I’ll race you there!” He shouted as he got a head start for the swings.

I straightened out my legs, let go of the bars, and charged after him. “You cheater!”

We each grabbed a swing and then started to push ourselves. “Whoever swings the highest is the winner!” I shouted as I swung forward.

He grinned and pushed himself. “You’re on.”

We continued to swing for God knows how long until he started to get tired. “You know what? You win. I’m so tired from swinging,” he panted.

I smiled triumphantly and slowly skidded to a stop. “I told you I was good at the swings.”

We then sat in silence, the only sound in the park being the chirping of crickets. I heard the swings creak a bit and felt something hit my side. I watched him swing side to side and just smiled when he hit my side. He grabbed the chain of my swing and pulled me along. I laughed at him and swatted his hand off. Instead, I turned to face him and held a hand out. He raised an eyebrow and hesitantly slipped his hand into mine. I pulled him towards me and tangled our legs together. He stared at me with wide eyes and I grinned. He gave me a lopsided grin and started to sway his from side to side in attempt to swing sideways.

“Man, if only we had someone push us.”

“Yeah.”

Summer nights were sometimes y. He always was a bit of a y person. He just never really showed that side of him and instead acted like a child. I always and called him a “cute little puppy” and every time I did, he always knew what to do to prove me wrong.

I watched him struggled with opening a water bottle and snorted. His cheeks were a bit puffed out, his lips were in a pout, and his nose was scrunched up. I chuckled and held out a hand. “Here, let me do it.”

He reluctantly handed it over and I easily opened it for him. He took it from my hands and grumbled, “I loosened it for you.”

I his head and cooed, “Of course you did, you cute little puppy.”

He scowled and swatted my hand away. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me a puppy?”

“But you’re cute like one.” I blinked.

“I’m not cute!”

“Prove it.”

He cupped my cheeks and pulled me in for a kiss, knocking over the water bottle. The feeling of the water splashing against my leg and getting my shoe wet was not pleasant but his plush lips took my mind off of it.

The way he nipped and at my bottom lip drove me crazy. My hands were balled into tight fists as I kissed him back with the same tenacity as him.

I broke the kiss gasping for air and he smirked. “Did you like that?”

My face grew warm and I grabbed his collar to pull him closer. “Shut up and kiss me,” I whispered.

He chuckled and tugged on my bottom lip. “Your wish is my command,” he said as he pressed his lips against mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and straddled his lap as I kissed him. I felt his arms snake around my waist and press me closer to his body.

We hungrily kissed each other, hands roaming each other’s bodies or becoming tangled in each other’s hair. I felt him his sweatshirt that I was wearing and ghost over my stomach. My breath hitched and I held him tighter. His fingers lingered at the hem of my shirt and just when they were about to creep up, I pulled away.

He looked at me with wide eyes and I panted loudly, taking in the oxygen that I desperately needed. My cheeks grew red as I continued to stare at him so I hid my face in his neck. He hugged me tight and whispered, “I’m not a puppy.”

I snorted. “Sure you aren’t.”

Despite summer nights being my favorite, I also hated it. I hated it because it was like a countdown. A countdown to when I would have to wait yet another year to see him again.

“I’m leaving on the weekend,” he said softly.

I hummed in response, looking down at my feet. I saw a hand reach out and take mine into theirs.

“I really don’t want to leave,” he whispered, his voice cracking a bit.

I bitterly smiled and looked at him. “Just tough it out for another year. Just like what we’ve been doing for the past two years.”

He sniffled and I wrapped an arm around him. He buried his face in my neck and muffled, “I hate this part of summer.”

I pressed my cheek against his head and closed my eyes. “I know. I do too.”

We sat in silence, letting reality sink into us. I felt him pull me closer and squeeze me tight. “I’m gonna miss you. A lot,” he breathed.

“Mm.”

“I wish I could stay.”

“Mm.”

“Tomorrow’s our last night together. Do you want to do anything?”

I gently pushed him off of me and softly kissed his lips. “Let’s just have fun one last time,” I said, resting my forehead against his.

He curled a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled. “I’d like that.”

Now that I think about it, I only loved summer nights because of him. I missed his bright smile, his cute laugh, his puppy like behavior, his y side, his serious side. I missed everything about him. And now that he’s gone, all I can do is think back to the memories we’ve shared and wallow in regret.

You may not be around anymore, but I always wanted to say this:

I love you, Kim Jongin.