“He sees me like his mother!” Jin explains quietly and nervously spins his morning cup of coffee in his hand. Rap monster hums as an answer, not looking up from his phone and Jin sees that as a queue to continue. “He sees me like some kind of role model, the mama bear of the group and that’s not…that’s not what I want” He says with a blush and Rap monster nods slowly while scrolling on his phone. “I want something more you know, more than mutual respect or friendship…are you even listening?”

“What? Yes of course” Rap monster blinks up and meets Jin’s angry look from across the table. He immediately straightens up and put away his phone, frowning as he tries to remember what Jin actually was talking about.

Jin looks extremely serious and offended which can only mean he has come to terms with his feelings for cookie and has probably decided to sort it out with Rap monster.

The only straight guy in the group.

“I’m sure Junkook likes you back.” Rap monster starts out slowly, eyes drifting back to his phone “Maybe you should just, you know, not act like a mom? Show him that you like him or something? I mean, look at V and J-hope! They are all over each other all the time!” he makes some vague hand gestures, hoping that’s a good enough answer.

Apparently it’s not because Jin frowns angrily at him.

“I’m not acting like a mom! And it’s obviously not working for V and J-hope since they are not together” He says angrily and Rap monster rolls his eyes.

“Because they’re both too dumb to understand anything, including feelings” Rap monster explains superiorly and Jin can’t really argue with that.

Jungkook suddenly walks into the kitchen, dressed and ready for school and Jin basically shoots up from his chair.

“Cookie~” He great in a sickly cute voice he doesn’t use for anyone else and starts to fiddle with Jungkook’s hair. “Are you ready, do you have everything? I have made a lunch box for you, it’s in the fridge” Jin babbles and Jungkook smiles with adoration at his hyung.

“Yes I have everything. And thank you for the lunch box” He mumbles and blushes as Jin goes to his clothes free from wrinkles. “I’m fine hyung, seriously!” He says and swats away Jin’s hands, swallowing visibly and Rap monster smirks. Jin pouts cutely and Jungkook goes bet read before clearing his throat and hurrying towards the fridge.

“I’ll be back later” He says and takes out the plastic bag with his food from the fridge.

“Okay, have fun~” Jin says in that sickly sweet voice of his and turn around to stare after Jungkook as he disappears out of the kitchen.

 “So, not acting like a mom huh?” Rap monster asks slowly and takes a long sip from his coffee with a raised eyebrow. Jin blushes deeply.

“Shut up straight boy, you know nothing!” Jin says and storms out of the kitchen and passes Suga in the doorway.

“I am awake so that I can tell you that you’re not allowed to wake me up before or after noon, swag” Suga announces tiredly before walking into the doorframe. He backs away in confusion before making his way out of the door and Rap monster wonders what the hell he did to deserve this band.

“Isn’t this like the cutest family ever?” Jimin suddenly coos as they’re all (finally) seated around the dining table.

“What family?” Suga mutters and Jimin beams at him.

“Our family!” He exclaims. “First there’s Jin and Rap monster, mama bear and papa bear, and Jungkook, their little baby! V and J-hope is like the cute soon-to-be-married couple and of course the already happily married: me and Suga!” Jimin explains and throws himself over a deeply blushing, stuttering Suga who’s probably trying to say something like “I don’t care about Jimin, like who does I don’t even like him, swag” but it’s hard to hear with all the stuttering and over V’s and J-hope’s loud voices.

It’s unclear if V and J-hope are trying to deny that they’re a cute couple or confirm it because they’re both screaming random, unclear sentences to try to out-match the other while clinging on to each other, each with an expression somewhere between crying and laughing. Jin is currently spluttering water all over the table and Rap monster wonders why there’s always chaos at their meals.

“Rap monster is not papa bear” Jungkook exclaims angrily, looking furious and stabs his fork down on his empty plate, the voice making them all flinch.

“What, yes of course he is Jungkook!” Jimin frowns and look away from Suga long enough to glare at the maknae. That doesn’t mean Suga has a chance to struggle away of course and the rapper is now sounding like a broken record, repeating swag over and over again.

“I think you broke Suga, Jimin” Rap monster says calmly as Jungkook glares between Jimin and Rap monster, like he had anything to do with anything.

“Rap monster is not even gay!” Jungkook screams angrily and V and J-hope stop their hysterical, loud babbling to turn and look at him.

“It’s not like Jimin is serious Jungkook” J-hope says and roll his eyes as V looks absolutely destroyed beside him. Suga stops his muttering and turns to look at Jimin, who’s grinning happily, and his face falls “It’s just that Rap monster is responsible like a dad and Jin always take care of us, like a mom- especially you”

“What no that’s not true, I don’t care especially for Jungkook” Jin says, desperately trying to avoid confirming his mama status. Unfortunately he realizes too late what it really sounded like as Jungkook turns to look at him with sad puppy eyes.

“I mean…It’s not like…I just…oh god umm” Jin tries to explain and Jungkook looks down at his plate.

“I’m not hungry” He announces dramatically and throws his fork on the table before walking out of the room.

“No wait cookie!” Jin says and stand up quickly to run after Jungkook, just to trip over his own chair and fall down on the floor.

“I don’t need anyone, I have swag” Suga says randomly and they all turn to look at him dramatically pushing poor Jimin away.

Rap monster sighs and reaches for the food as Jin whines on the floor.

He’s pretty sure he did something worse than murder to be forced to deal with all this.

Definitely worse than murder.

“We’re having a what?” He asks and stares at the three male sitting on the bed opposite of his.

“A rejection support group” V answers gravely and beside him Jungkook nods seriously. Suga simply mutter something about not caring about Jimin and that swag is more important than anything.

“But why am I here?” Rap monster asks, feeling a headache coming on.

“The real question is why Jungkook is here” Suga says with venom in his voice and points at Jungkook. “He’s got Jimin throwing himself all over him, what is he doing here? He can just go and be all ing cuddly with Jimin!” He continues and Jungkook glares back at him.

“I don’t care about Jimin, I care about Jin but obviously he doesn’t see me as anything else than another band member” Jungkook answers dramatically and looks out of the window with a sigh. Rap monster frowns at him and shakes his head slowly.

“Still, I don’t have any problems with rejection what so ever…”

“Me neither” Suga pipes up and they all give him a long look.

“Yes you do Suga-hyung” V says before turning to Rap monster seriously. “You are the smartest person here, even though you’re straight” Rap monster is pretty sure that is offensive. “And we need your help. I’m…” V hesitates here and bites his lip before turning to Rap monster with large puppy eyes. “I think I really like J-hope, like like-like”

“No Sherlock” Suga mutters and V turns to him, obviously not noticing the irony.

“It is true! I really do, I really really really like...”

“What are you guys doing?” Jimin walks into the room out of nowhere with a packet of pocky and they all jump in surprise.

“Aren’t you supposed to be out with Jin and J-hope?” Suga asks sulky and Jimin shrugs as he sits down next to the angry male, basically melting into his side.

“I changed my mind, they seemed depressed. Maybe you’re more fun, what are you doing?” Jimin looks curiously around them and wraps his arms around a stiff Suga. Before anyone has the time to stop him V answers honestly.

“We’re having a rejection support group, for rejected people”

There is a pregnant pause as Jimin process the information.

“WHY THE HELL WASN’T I INVITED” Jimin then explodes, staring at them angrily and Rap monster face palms. “I am the most rejected person of all of you!”

“This isn’t a competition Jimin” Rap monster tries to irrupt him but the other make continues unfaced

“Jungkook won’t even talk to me and Suga doesn’t even care about me!” Jimin waves his pocky angrily and Suga frowns beside him asJimin detaches from his side.

“That’s because you’re being too clingy!” Jungkook protest and Jimin waves the pocky in his direction.

“SEE!! I’m unloved!” Jimin whines and Suga looks like he’s working up the courage to say something.

“You’re all idiots” Rap monster proclaims and Junkook gasps, clearly offended.

“That was so uncalled for” V says and rolls his eyes.

Rap monster is about to say something but Suga beats him to it.

“I don’t think you’re unloved” Suga says gravely and blushes bright red as he turns to Jimin.

“What?” Jimin asks, looking lost and completely confused.

“H-how c-can you b-be unloved if w-we’re m-m-married” Suga stutters while blushing furiously. “T-that would m-make me a b-bad husband and t-that’s so n-not swag”

There is a silence as the two of them stares at each other and the others stare at them before Jimin breaks into a happy grin and happily throws his arms around Suga.

“Yoongi-hyung~!” He screeches happily and Rap monster forces back a smile.

Maybe these idiots are slightly cute and not too bad after all.

“Great, go on and be all cuddly the two of you while we’re in pain over here!” V dramatically swings an arm across Jungkook’s shoulder and puts a hand in front of his eyes. Jungkook nods and Jimin only laughs at them.

“You just don’t have as much swag as we does” Suga says seriously and put an arm around Jimin, who beams brightly.

Rap monster changes his opinion back to that they’re all idiots and annoying and not cute.

“Just listen you two. V, you and J-hope are basically together and everyone knows except the two of you. Jungkook, Jin likes you. He came to me complaining about you seeing him as a mama bear or something just some days ago. You just need to gather up the courage and tell them how you feel, that goes for both of you. Love is an act of courage, a shoot in the dark. It will either make you or destroy you and you’ll just have to accept that. You’ll just have to except that it might all go to hell and then do it anyway. Because the chance of love is worth any embarrassment or rejection” Rap monster holds his speech passionately and personally he’s very proud of it. He should make it into a song.

“That was really lame Rap mon.” Jongguk says seriously and beside him V nods. “Jin would never need a straight guy like you for advice”

“Yea and me and J-hope are so basically not together, he only sees me as a friend. You know what, it was a bad idea to try to get some help from you” V says and rises from the bed. “Come on cookie, let’s go and have our support club alone”

They leave just as Jimin shyly takes out a pocky from his box and looks at Suga.

“Want to play the pocky game?” He asks and Suga nods vigorously.

Jimin smiles happily and brings the pocky to his lips while Rap monster watches in horror.

“That’s it!” He screeches as Suga takes the other end of the stick into his mouth. “I’m going solo!” He loudly announces and storms out of the room.

“Not until we say you can” Comes the muffled scream from the manager’s room and Rap monster forcefully slams the door of the dorm shut, fully planning on finding the closest café and take out his aggregation with hating on the other bts members on the internet while sipping calming coffee.

After several cups of calming coffee Rap monster is back in the dorm, fully intending on using his secret weapon that’s a sure card to overcome any obstacle in his way.

He stands in front of the mirror, slowly putting on his shades and ignoring the looks from Jimin and Suga.

“Jin-hyung, J-hope”

“Yes?”

“Umm, Rap mon why are you…”

“I will take care of the questions here”

“Woah, okay sorry I was just…”

“You two need to start to behave like real man”

“Kim Namjoon, That’s not the way to speak to your hyung!”

“Jin.”

“On the other hand your aura is very scary right now so I guess I will let this one go.”

“Really I swear those sunglasses…”

 “As I was saying you need to start behaving like real men. Being gay is not an excuse to behave like a little girl with a school crush. This is ridiculous, fix it!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, like fixing what…”

“Yea and that is really offensive, I knew you were homophobic I knew it! I…”

“Jin-hyung, J-hope”

“…Yea?”

“You know what I mean. Fix it”

The two men looks like scared puppies and nods hesitantly and Rap monster swears these shades just fixes everything.

“Hi cookie” Jin says uncertainly as he enters the kitchen and as the maknae looks up at him his smile slips.

“Hi Jin-hyung” He mutters and looks down at his cup of tea.

“How are you doing?” Jin asks and wants to smack himself for being so awkward.

“Fine I guess” Jungkook mutters and Jin sits down opposite to him, slowly trying to figure out what to say.

“Look cookie, what I said during that dinner” he starts uncertainly and Junkook doesn’t look up “…I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just…I don’t want you to see me like your mother bear cause I” at this Jin blushes deeply and looks down at the table. “Well I’d like to have another kind of relationship something a little bit more like…well couple like” Jin wants to sink down his chair and disappear into the ground and his cheeks are burning. He feel like he’s a fifteen year-old with a crush and the thought makes him even more ashamed.

Cookie is supposed to be the young and shy one god dammit!

Jin glances up at him tensely and finds Jungkook staring down at his tea in chock. He’s sitting so still that Jin is afraid that he might never move again

“Uh cookie, it’s okay if you don’t feel them same. I mean it’s not a big deal if you don’t want to date…”

“NO!” Jungkook shouts and Jin jerks in surprise. “I mean yes, I’d like to date you. I want to date you, please treat me to ice cream and hold my hand” Jungkook babbles and reaches across the table towards Jin with big eyes and a deep blush spreading across his entire face.

Jin simply gapes at him before reaching forward and taking Jungkooks hand in his.

“So you want to..?”

“Yes!”

“Are you sure?”

“YES!”

“Well okay then…”

“YES!”

“I wasn’t even…”

“YES!”

“You’re dumb” J-hope says as he walks into V’s room and the latter looks up in surprise at the older man glaring down at him.

“I’m dumb?” V asks and J-hope nods. “Well then you’re dumber”

“Then you’re the dumbest” J-hope counters.

“Am I not! Why am I dumb anyway?” V sits up from his bed and puts his phone away so he can glare properly at the other. J-hope blushes deeply and his eyes darts to the door before they return to V, a lot less glare-y than before.

“Because I like you but you don’t notice” J-hope says and it almost sounds like he’s whining. V is in chock for a moment until his brain progress what J-hope actually said and he frowns deeply.

“No, it’s the other way around! I like you but you’re the one that doesn’t understand !” He exclaims and points an accusing finger at J-hope.

There is a long silence as they both let that information sink in and they both blushes brick red.

“Will you be the dumb to my dumber?” J-hope finally asks and to V that might be the weirdest pick-up line ever.

But then again, V really, really, really likes weird.

“Seems like this all went well at last” Rap monster says with a smirk and fixes his sunglasses. “Thought you were all very slow”

“I think it all went extremely well” Jin answers while feeding Jungkook with his spoon as J-hope tells V about how he’s the prettiest fairy he’s ever seen and Suga shows Jimin some Jimin-inspired lyrics. “At least me and Jungkook ended up together” He continues and blushes prettily while smiling at a very happy cookie.

”Which means that I am now papa bear” Junkook exclaims with a proud smile as Jin brushes away some food from his chin.

For the first time ever it’s completely silent in Bangtan boy’s dorm.