I didn’t know how fate could have worked for me, I never actually believed in destiny – thinking that if it was bound to happen, you have to do things your own way when fate wouldn’t kick in. Well, while it may work wonders to others, it never worked with me.

The first time I met him was at that dim-litted stage in the small bar by the South of Seoul. He was playing a song everyone knew, by the time of Gangnam Style and Gentleman, he was playing ‘Hey there Delilah’, with the guitar tuned perfectly, his strumming -- ever so softly and with his eyes closed.

That night in October, it was raining hard, right when I had just gone off of my part time work, having to take another shift when Lay had not gone to work that afternoon. Walking right out of the shop, rain started pouring loudly, that I had to stand under the first shade I saw, and it was that bar.

Only a few people were around the place, knowing it was eight in the evening, but they had all listened to his voice well. I grabbed a table, noticing the mellow, and yet deep voice he had.

“You be good and don’t you miss me, two more years you’ll be done with school and I’ll be making history like I do.” He sings with perfect pronunciation. He intrigues me, how could a voice like his have perfect English, and could play really well too?

“Are you okay?” I look up and see a waiter named Mark, as seen on his nametag, smiling brightly at me, that’s when I realize I am actually wet.

“Yes, could I get a cup of coffee please?” I end up asking him, not even noticing I was already shivering in the cold place.

The mysterious bar singer ends the song, with a last bar of strums, and I wanted to clap my hands at his performance, but none of the others did, so I just silently applauded him.

"If you have any requests, you could send it up here." He says in hangul, and I suddenly miss the other language he used to sing the other song.

Inevitably, I wrote the words of my favorite song in a napkin by the table, “Officially missing you.” I wrote, hoping he sings in English, again.

Mark comes in bringing the steamy coffee to my table, and I send him a faint thank you. "Could you hand this out to the performer?" I suddenly add, giving him the paper with my handwriting on it. 

"My pleasure." Mark winks at me, before he leaves with his tray on hand. I watch him give my piece of paper to the guy on stage, as he talks about a random day. 

Mark is pulling him by the arm, and then whispers to him. The guy smiles and ten he suddenly calls out, “Hey, girl with the wet hair in blue. What’s your name?” He asks that night, by the microphone, I look behind me, but I was the only one on the left side of the room. I smiled, “Hyejin.”

He repeats my name, and it rolls on his tongue so well, “Hyejin, wait for me.” He adds before he sings his last song, my request. 

His song ends, and he immediately thanks everyone for coming, he bows down, and then leaves the stage.

A few minutes after, and as my coffee gets cold and yet untouched, he comes clad in a blue shirt under a leather jacket.

"Hi? Hyejin, right?" He stands right in front of me.

I smile and nod. "I'm Chanyeol, by the way." He hands out his arm.

And that's the first time I felt his touch, the hands that could play my favorite song, the same voice that called my name that could sing my favorite song, and the guy that ended up being my favorite person.

“Where have you studied English?” Was my first question to him, it wasn’t a great conversation starter, but I was curious that bad.

He played with the cherry on my new drink (he insisted I grab a cocktail while he got a beer -- we were in a bar afterall), "I grew up in California. It wasn’t until last year when I moved in Korea. But both of my parents are Korean."

“That explains it.” I chuckle.

“My pronunciation?” He asks, moving his face closer to me, and that's when I realize how big his ears are. It was rather cute. 

I shake my head, “No, your cockiness.”

Chanyeol laughs, “Where do you work?” He changes the topic.

“I’m still studying actually, drawing.” 

He nods, “Ah, visual arts, hm?” 

"Yea, but I work parttime in the studio by the other side."

"Why haven't I seen you here before then? If we basically work in the same street?" He asks, and I suddenly do too. Why haven't we?

And that night, it made me actually believe in destiny -- if it hadn't rained that day, if I didn't have to take Lay's shift, and if I didn't decide to get shade in that bar, I wouldn't have met Chanyeol, my now boyfriend for nine months. Because like what he said before we had parted the first night we met, "Fate had brought us together."

 

It became a regular, with him teaching me music, and I, trying to fix his arm to something that could actually draw better – it was no use actually, I couldn’t do much (he could never draw). He taught me a few chords, and he had promised me a guitar once he gets his paycheck.

"No, you don't have to buy me my own instrument, I at playing it anyway." I told him a night in July.

"How would you learn if you don't put the effort? And you don't like me leaving my guitar at your place anyway. I promise you one, okay? Let's go to the shop later." Chanyeol insists.

 

"Two grands." The shop owner had told him.

"Eyy~ you know I get discounts here ahjussi!" 

"I know, but that's a special piece. I only made five of them." 

Chanyeol pulls me out of the shop a second after, and then huffs his cheeks, "It wasn't even that nice." He tells me.

I laugh at him, "I told you that we don't have to buy a new guitar. Stop insisting it." I told him for the nth time, hopefully he drops the topic.

~

“You wouldn’t have to go back to California, right?”

“You could come with me.” He grins, not answering my first question.

I roll my eyes, "That's impossible."

“And me going back is impossible as well, I would never leave you, okay?” 

 

For my 22nd birthday, we had fought as soon as the sun shined, I have gone off to school early in the morning, despite him telling me not to attend. I couldn't absent myself just because he was to treat me pancakes that day -- no matter how much I loved pancakes. Saemi would kill me. 

I remember him telling me, "It's just a day! How could you miss a lot of things? And you're excused since it's your birthday anyway!" 

"It's not just a day, I have a practical exam today, and no matter how much you think today is important, I do too. I want to spend today with you, too. But I can't. You know how important my academics is for me. Not because you dropped out of college means I want to follow your steps. Look what happened to you."

I regret walking out on him that morning, by the time I arrived in school, I felt awful, despite it being my 22nd year. I don't remember the look on his face when I told him about the drop out -- but I knew I made a mistake. He never wanted to drop out, he had to work for himself after having turmoil over his parents. It was a sensitive topic, and I had hit wayward. 

Saemi comes running to me by the locker, holding out three pairs of roses, "Happy birthday, Hyejin!" She envelopes me in a hug immediately.

"What did the birthday girl get this year? Anything special from the boyfriend?" She gives me a smug, and I roll my eyes.

"If a fight is special then you get your answer."

"That's not what I mean. You-know-what. And you fought? It's the first time I heard of that." 

And truly it was, Chanyeol and I rarely fight.

"He wanted me to absent today." I told her.

"Then you should have! I'm sure he was planning something special." Saemi tells me, and I suddenly hope she wasn't right. But Saemi was always right about these things. 

"And I messaged you last night as well! The practicals were moved next week, Mr. Oh's wife is put on labor last night so he filed a leave." Saemi smacks the back of my head.

Oops.

How should I know that?

By after lunch, I was feeling down the more, I have turned down Chanyeol, and he probably hates me for life after what I've said, and to top it all up, it's supposed to be my birthday still. 

By that afternoon (right before I was to go home where Chanyeol would still be waiting for me hopefully) Saemi pulls me for the gymnasium, which scares me a little -- I don't do sports, and for all I know, today was the try outs for the girls' volleyball team.

"Saemi what are you doing?! Chanyeol would skin me alive if I woudn't be home in half an hour."

"Chanyeol this, Chanyeol that. He is already mad at you for leaving him right? So what's the point of coming home early. If Chanyeol would skin you alive, I would be the one to hold the knife first if you don't come with me." She insists, pulling my hand as we walked through the stairs toward the gymnasium.

"That's why, he would hate me the more if I would be late!" I tried removing my arm from her grip.

"Trust me on this one, okay, Jin? You know I wouldn't do anything to break you apart!" Saemi suddenly says, which makes my heart skip a beat in the turmoil, that means something good, right?

She pushes the silver metal door and then prompts me to enter first, as I do so, the lights of the gymnasium turn one at a time.

And then revealing Chanyeol standing in the middle of the room, holding a dozen of white flowers.

It makes me smile, Chanyeol always does make me smile. He was holding a ukelele in his hand.

I look back at Saemi and she only nods me to go to Chanyeol, I send her a thank you and basically run a mile to him.

"What are you doing here?" 

"Happy birthday." He just says.

"I knew he was going to be absent today, because fate brought us together." Chanyeol smirks.

"You're bluffing right now. You set me up, didn't you?"

Chanyeol doesn't answer, which was typical for him, he only laughs. "Happy birthday, Hyejin." He lands a kiss on the top of my head.

"This is for you, by the way." He hands out.

"A small guitar?"

"A ukelele." Chanyeol corrects.

"I couldn't even play a guitar, and you're giving me a ukelele." My hands move to the instrument's neck, knowing it might have been expensive just by the look of the uke.

“Today, for your birthday, I gift you this ukelele. Not a song, not my voice, but an instrument. Today is August 19, you have exactly a hundred days before my birthday to finish learning a song." Chanyeol laughs.

"Are you kidding?"

He shakes his head, "Why would I kid?"

"Then why are you asking such a big thing for me? Strings and my fingers don't mix well." I complain.

"It would be my greatest dream to see the love of my life do the thing I love the most." Chanyeol only says, and the only thing I could do is succumb to his wish, ah, the things you do for a loved one.

 

D-90
Ten days passed my birthday, I had tried learning the basics of the four-stringed instrument; I suddenly regret not taking the lessons he had given me seriously way back then. It was harder than I thought. I had insistedly asked for Chanyeol to teach me the basics, but he shook his head and left.

I have learned the C chord that day, and I'm sure Chanyeol was smiling secretly as I played him the chord I learned all by myself.

D-85

“Record my voice." Chanyeol says out of the blue, as I played with the strings of my ukelele, he had changed the nylon to new ones after complaining about the dull sound, but he realized soon after changing that it wasn't the strings' problem but was my strumming. 

“Why? I like hearing you live.” I had told him.

"So you get to hear my voice everytime, even if I'm not beside you." He reasons out.

And I immediately pull my phone out, "My favorite song please." 

And he laughs, "Officially missing you, coming right up." 

 

D-65

More than a month had passed since Chanyeol gave me the ukelele, and having lessons behind his back (well from YouTube) really had done me a big help. Playing the uke was already hard, but having to convert the chords from a guitar to the small instrument was harder. 

The song I'm trying to learn was Chanyeol's favorite song, he had told me about that secret one night we were together -- he wanted it to be played on our wedding  (but I argued that Hey there, Delilah should be it). Funny how we could talk about future plans so easily now. I could play up until the first verse now.

There was an improvement. I couldn't wait until Chanyeol hears it.

D-60

I had decided to surprise Chanyeol at his working place today, and maybe I get to see Mark as well. Bringing my ukelele with me, I went to the place right after work.

He was already on stage, just as the first night I saw him. His voice was extra husky today, and when I waved a hand to him, he simply smiled.

He still played English songs, remembering he once told me he got hired because of it, and it was also because of his pretty face. I scoff at his confidence.

"But seriously, more girls come to watch me this time." I remember him telling me one time.

I notice that this time, more students from my university are at the bar, really -- and were taking videos of him. Now I knew what he meant when he had told me he had suddenly gone popular after coming to my school the last time for my birthday. 

"This song is for everyone who's inlove, and for my H, who is surprisingly here today."

He plays a tune, and I know it too well because he had placed it on my iPod.

"You've touched these tired eyes of mine, and mapped my face line by line. And some how growing old feels fine. I listen close for I'm not smart, you wrap your thoughts and works of art and there hanging on the walls of my heart.

I may not have the softest touch, I may not say the words as such, and though I may not look like much. I'm yours.

And though my edge is maybe rough, I never feel I'm quite enough, And it may not seem like very much, I'm yours."

We went home together that night, with the song echoing to my heart like a fast paced Rihanna song, was it S&M? I wasn't quite sure, too, but that night was also the first night we made love, and I swear I heard Chanyeol say those words before I fell asleep, "Fate had brought us together, Hyejin."

 

D-30

It was a month before his birthday when Chanyeol had suddenly had a love call from a company, apparently, a manager visited the bar a week before that and wanted to scout Chanyeol, he had wanted him to play in Japan for two weeks (and after that they would be discussing his contract). Chanyeol was hesitant, he had told the company he would be thinking of it, while I, on the other hand, wanted him to immediately say yes.

"It's two weeks, Hyejin." 

"But it's what you've dreamed of the most, C." He was worried, I know. "Didn't you want to make a name for yourself, Chanyeol? Playing at the bar was always what you wanted to do, but wouldn't you want to catch a label, too?"

"I don't want to leave you." Chanyeol pouts.

"Like what you've said, Chanyeol, it's just two weeks, I wouldn't even notice you're gone. And by the time you come back, it's your birthday already. Remember what you want me to do? You're waiting right? So I'm going to wait for you."

And that night, I made sure I finished three-fourths of the song. 

D-16

"I don't want to leave, Hyejin. Stop me!!" He childishly opens up his arms for me to enter.

"I thought we've talked about this before?" I push him aside.

"But two weeks without you would feel like two years." 

"You've survived without me before, you could do it again, right?" I give him a tight hug.

"I brought my ukelele to the airport, I've finished the song you wanted me to play."

"But it isn't my birthday yet." Chanyeol covers his ears.

"I want you to listen to it before you leave." I hesitantly told him. 

"But it would be unfair. Promise me you'd let me hear it in the bar, on my birthday." 

"Okay." 

 

D-7

"Hyejin, you wouldn't believe it. They heard my composition, and the Japanese company liked it!" He excitedly said by the phone.

"Wow! I'm so proud of you. I broke one of my strings today, but I had brought it to the shop to have it fixed, Ahjussi wishes you good luck as well."

"I can't wait to go home and tell you all about it." 

"I can't wait to see you, too."

 

D-3

From: Chanyeol
To: Hyejin

"I'm sorry, my flight tomorrow is moved to the 27th. I have a meeting on the night of 26th, can't talk right now. I love you."

 

The day before his birthday, I didn't contact him the whole day, with him pushing his flight on the 27th, I had to re-arrange all my surprise plans. 

The morning of the 27th came, I practice the piece one last time at the bar by four in the afternoon. Chanyeol was on his flight back to Korea now, and I had told him I'll be waiting for him in the bar, like how we promised each other. I had asked permission from the owner, and he gladly said yes, letting an amateur play in his bar. 

Chanyeol told me he can't wait to hear me sing, and play. For the first time, infront of him, in front of everybody. I was scared, honestly, because I was never confident with my playing, but Chanyeol had told me I would be doing fine.

Four became six, and six became seven thirty, and my calls on his phone have become uncountable. I sat by the bar stool by the back, playing with the strings of my small guitar as I waited for his arrival. He was supposed to arrive in Korea an hour ago, where had he gone off to?

A call goes off my phone, and hoping it was him -- it wasn't. 

"Saemi? What's with the call?" I end up asking her.

She was sobbing, "Oh my God, Hyejin, I'm so sorry."

"What? What did you do? What happened? No, Saemi, don't cry."

"Hyejin, where are you right now?" She asks.

"I'm at the bar, where Chanyeol and I first met, remember? I am to play for him tonight I had told you that."

"Hyejin.." She bursts to tears, and no, no I don't want to think about it, no, please.

"Chanyeol-- he, I saw it on the news." 

Saemi, no, not the thing I'm scared the most.

"He's gone. His plane had made an emergency landing, but it was too late."

To deny, "No, Saemi, you're wrong, Chanyeol is fine, he's just late. He's not on that plane." I was calm, to be honest. 

"I saw his name, Hyejin, his photo was-- God, I'm sory Hyejin, wait for me there, okay? I'm going to get you. It's going to be fine."

I sat by the table where I first met Chanyeol, the first time his voice had captured me, his small dimple had made me like him. How was it supposed to be fine?

Chanyeol had told me he'd listen to me play. But he was-- gone.

The first time we met, It was raining at that time. Today, it had rained hard, as well. 

I stood up, grabbing my ukelele with my hand, and moved to the stage, sitting at the bar stool Chanyeol frequently sat on.

I started playing the tune of the song, hoping I get my pronunciations right, I sang.

"And if I lived a thousand years, you know I never could explain. 
The way I lost my heart to you that day, but if destiny decided I should look the other way. 
Then the world would never know the greatest story ever told. 
And did I tell you that I love you tonight?"

And within the cries my heart weep, an arm wrapped unto me, I could feel Chanyeol’s hug on me, but as I look up, he was nowhere there, instead, I see Mark, holding a handkerchief to me.

“He may not be here, but I know he is happy to hear you play.”

When I calmed down (and was assisted by Mark to go down) he had talked to me, "He told me last night he moved his flight because he was booked a dinner with a famous artist."

"An artist?"

"I don't remember the words, but he had once told me it was a famous painter in Japan, well, Chanyeol wanted to gift you a painting made by the guy. He had showed me the gift last night by the messenger, but I was already sleeping." Mark told. 

He then showed me a photograph of a ukelele painted drawing. And by the side was a silhouette of the both of us.

"I bet he was excited to bring this to you." Mark claims.

"The irony of fate, really." I end up smiling.

"Fate had brought us together, but in the end, it played a part for us to be apart too."

"If I didn't insist him to go to Japan, if I hadn't told him about that artist, and if I sang him the song before, then maybe, none of these things have happened.

Maybe, Chanyeol could have been here, but now, all I have with me is the memory of him and this small four stringed guitar.”