My friends call me a hopeless loner. They were getting tired of trying to break me out of my shell, and I knew that sooner or later, they were going give up.

“You need to get out more, Taeyeon. Meet more people.”

“You know… your dreams won’t magically happen just because you write about them.”

“Quit hiding behind your stories, Taeyeon...”

And in these moments, I would sigh and look away. They just didn’t understand.

I write because I have no other outlet to express myself. I can put my thoughts into words I could never say, words I should never say. I don’t confide in anyone, and it’s not that I have no one to; I’m just used to it.

Events happen. happens. I keep it all to myself, buried in the depths of my mind. It’s an endless cycle of what I can’t get out of, and honestly, I’m not sure that I want to.

When you let someone see the depths of your soul, you give them a part of yourself. You feel vulnerable, and in the end, you feel utterly powerless to that person, because they know your dark secrets. They know that you’re not strong. They know that your life is messed up. They see the side of you that you’ve been trying so hard to hide all of your life. They see a side of you that was never meant to be seen.

You look at the other person, searching so hard to find that comfort you need, but all you can see in their eyes is pity. But when I write, there is no judgment. Letters and words are impassive to how my fingers will them to be.

-

I look around my favorite coffee shop, observing the daily customers that trickled in. Slowly sipping a hot cup of black coffee, I winced at its bitterness. I didn’t bother adding any sugar to it. I prefer it this way - plain. It’s refreshing. The aftertaste left in the back of my throat keeps me grounded to reality, without all the frills and fuss that would mask its true nature.

With one last look, I duck my head and start typing, slowly losing myself in the comfort of my own world.

I was so immersed in my writing that I didn’t notice someone walking up to me. It wasn’t until a cup of coffee was placed right in front of my laptop that I looked up. And when I did, all my initial annoyance at being disturbed vanished.

There, standing in front of me, was a female around my age. Waves of light chestnut brown hair flowed softly past her shoulders, framing a face too perfect for this world.

And her eyes… striking dark brown eyes that match the color of winter trees at twilight.

Gesturing towards my half-empty cup, “I noticed you were a little low, so I thought I’d buy you another one.”

“O..oh…”

“I don’t know how you drink your coffee, so I added some creamer and sugar for you.”

“Umm...”

She pulled out the chair right across from me and sat down.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she whispered.

I blinked.

Her eyes twinkled with curiosity as she cocked her head to the side. Gracing me with a small smile, she extended a slender hand towards me, “I’m Jessica.”

I stared hesitantly at her delicate hand, every inch of my instinct screaming and urging me to get up and leave.

Holding my breath, I made the mistake of looking into her eyes... her enchanting gaze trapping and holding me to my seat.

I was terrified at the unfamiliar effect she had on me, but somehow, everything about her was telling me that it was okay. Her face held a gentle smile, reassuring me that there was nothing to be afraid of.

Then I thought, maybe, it was time to finally live a life outside of myself.

Maybe… it won’t hurt so much. 

And I was tired of hurting...

Finally finding the courage, I closed my laptop, slowing lifting my hand and grasping onto the warmth of hers.

“I’m Taeyeon.”