My life had always been bored after I had to live here in this country alone. Without my brothers and friends. Family and friends are important for every people in this world yet I didn’t have them. Family was like a light which lighten up our darkness and guide us to a right path. Giving us advises when we’re down and comfort us when we’re upset, that was their job and responsibility as a family but I’d never get that from my brothers.

Good friends were like something precious in our life. We’re happy when they’re close and we’re sad when they’re gone. They’re someone that can support us in everything we did. Like people always say, if we did something crazy, people will think that we’re a weird person but a good friend will never let we do it alone. Instead, they will join us. That’s what friends are. I once had them before. I’d family, friends and my guardians. And most important is my first love. But I did a wrong move and I lost them. I can’t control myself and as result, they’d gone from my life.

I looked up at the bright blue sky above me and smiled softly. I’d never expect that this world will be this beautiful. I was a blind girl before. After the surgery that I took, I can see this world but knowing that I lost everything, I didn’t care about the world anymore. Thinking about the reason of their death was because of my fault, I felt like I didn’t ever deserve to look at this world. Sometimes, I wonder, did my guardians, friends and first love ever exist? Did they? Sometimes it felt like a dream. If it’s a dream, then I wish to get inside it again and never wake up again.

I took a last deep breath and got up from the ground. As I checked the clock at my phone, I realized that it has been 3 hours since I sat under the big tree to clear mind just now. It was my favorite big tree ever which placed on a small hill at a big beautiful park near my apartment. I often go there when I need a time to clear my mind and to be alone—I’m always alone after all. It was so peaceful there. The air that hit my skin was so fresh and it made me felt so comfortable.

Still thinking about my life, I started to walk back to my apartment while day-dreaming. I was so deep in my thought till I didn’t even care about anything around me. I finally realized and back to earth when suddenly a guy bumped onto me, making me fell to ground. I hissed in pain as I rubbed my and looked up at him only to find his angry face. With a quick pace, I got up and bowed at him while flashing an apologetically smile.

“I-I’m sorry. Seriously, I’m sorry about it.” His doe-eyed eyes staring into my soul making my smile slowly fade away. He looked scary that way.

“Watch your step, next time. Don’t just walk around and stare into the space, you could harm people around you! Tch.” He yelled at my face and consequently, I startled a little. He glared at me for the last time before walked away to somewhere God only know. I rolled my eyes and puffed my cheeks before blowing some wind at my hair-bang, annoying with that boy.

“He’s too arrogant.”

Without thinking anything anymore, I walked back to my apartment happily. That evening, I was too bored staying at home alone and I had finished all my games so I decided to go out to a game store. As I got into the store, I saw someone that very familiar to me. That moment I was thinking, is this world is really small till I can meet him again? I hate my life now. I didn’t realize that I was staring at him till he turned to me and glared at me sharply. I gulped a little and quickly looked away, rubbing my nape. Did he have any friends? He was too scary.

After I made sure that he already looked away, I turned back to look at him and saw that he only stared at one game. It was some sort of RPG game that people often play at PlayStation nowadays. Shrugging of the ego in my heart, I was thinking on how to clear the mess between us so in the end I decided to buy that game as a gift for him. I went to him and softly poked his side.

“Hey, do you like that game…? Can I buy it for you? As a gift maybe…” Softly, I whispered to him, not wanting him to get mad but I was wrong. Once he turned to me with his sharp glare, I knew he was mad at me again. Couldn’t he stop to be mad for awhile? How could this cute boy be this scary? I didn’t even know if he was older or younger than me.

“If you’re thinking to give me a gift just because you want me to forget about this morning then forget about it. I hate to take gift which based on the guilty feeling.” He scolded at me coldly and I just could looked down at my feet like a child get scolded by her mother. Why is it so hard to apologize at him? Such a cold boy. I tried everything and still, he won’t forgive me. Once again, I tried to clear the things between us but when I turned to my side, he was gone. He was no longer there.

“Tch! How can he leave just like that?” I scoffed softly and decided to just get out from there. In my way back home, I kept thinking about him. There was something in him that made me attracted to him. Is it because his eyes? Or because his weird yet mystery personality? I don’t even know.

Before I knew, my vision suddenly turned black and I felt like my body was floating around. After awhile, I opened my eyes and realized that I was in my room; my real room in the reality. That’s when I realized that it was just a dream. I sat up on my bed and looked around, sighing softly.

With a soft sighed, I stepped out from my apartment’s building, ready to go to the café nearby but before I could make my first step, I saw someone familiar that made me stunned for awhile. It was him, that mysterious doe-eyed eyes boy, staring at me with a soft smile like there was nothing ever happened. In a split seconds, I saw him walked across the road and approached me.

“Hey, I’m sorry for yesterday. I’m D.O.” As simple as breathing to keep living, he said sorry just like that. I tried everything to gain his forgiven and failed but he just said a simple word to me and yet, I still had an urge to forgive him. Is it because his aura and vibe that made me weak like this, not even trying to back up myself?

“No, it’s okay. I forgive you. I’m Jimin. Kim Jimin. What’s your full name, by the way?” That’s it, I gave up. I couldn’t even resist his cute smile. Hearing my question, his smile just grew wider. With just a soft shrug, he answered me, “You will know one day.”

I will know one day? Really? If this just a dream then how I want to know about it. When I almost fell into a deep thought, he cleared his throat, making me startled a little. I blinked my eyes for awhile before staring back into his eyes.

“Uhh…yeah. How did you know where I lived?” Once again, he just stared at me with his mysterious smile, reassuring me that I didn’t need to know about it. I sighed softly and nodded, giving up with him again.

“So, where do you want to go just now?” Startled with his question, I quickly looked up at him and raised my brows. I wasn’t too sure if what I heard just now was real but after awhile, I just shrugged it off.

“I want to go to the café nearby to take my breakfast.” Listening to me, he just nodded and beamed. Tell me once again why he was so happy now? He sure was a weird person. Once he was cold like North Pole, once he was calm like a wave at the sea. If I can guess then maybe tomorrow he will be cold again and mad at me without any reason.

“I will threat you then! Let’s go?” Without any doubt, he grabbed my hand and held it tightly. I was too blur to think so I just agreed with him and followed him to the café nearby. As we were in the way to our destination, we didn’t talk much and just cared about ourselves but our intertwined hands really couldn’t make me calm. It was too awkward till I felt like I just want to flip everything around me.

As the café entered my sight, I can’t help but to feel relief and smiled happily. When we got inside the care, I could smell the scent of coffee lingered around me and it really made me comfortable. We walked to a table beside the glass wall, which set for two, and sat down. I’d always like that spot since I could look out the café and watched at people’s antics. After awhile, the waiter came and took our orders.

“What do you like to eat, Jimin?” The doe-eyed eyes boy, D.O, suddenly asked me. I returned him a smile and shrugged softly. To be honest, I’m not too picky with my breakfast. If the foods could give me energy to start my day then it was enough.

“Okay, then. In my opinion, you should just have salad since you seem like a light eater. 2 salads, 1 hot coffee milk and 1 hot chocolate please.” He ordered so politely and I couldn’t help to just raise my brows and stared at him. Why he could give me an opinion like he was some sort of doctor? And how could he be that polite? Unbelievable.

“What?”

“Are you a doctor or what?” I asked. He shook his head and laughed softly like I was making a joke or what in front of him. I tilted my head as he stopped his laugh.

“No, I’m just a chef.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.” Still staring at him, I gave him an amused look. It was not like I didn’t believe it. I just too shocked with it but I couldn’t let out my emotion too well.

“Well, if you don’t believe me then I will cook for you. Let’s go to the market after this and back to your house. Can?” I was a good eater. Just by listening to people talking about foods, I can’t help but to drool over it. His offer was too irresistible so I just agreed to it with a happy grin.

“Yes! Why not?”

“Okay, then. Let’s take our breakfast first.” He said as he saw the waiter came back with our breakfast meals. With a happy heart, we started to dig in to our meals. The laughter made the mess between us faded away just like that. He was not so bad after all just sometimes his temper could build up fast like a bomb. By his explanation, he was too stressed and tensioned with his works that’s why he was so cold when I bumped him last time.

 

After awhile of finishing our meals, we were ready to goes to the market. D.O, who being the good guy here, went to pay for the meals. As I saw he done with everything, I grabbed my bag and stepped out from the café first, waiting for him outside. The weather out here was a little hot than usual but I still felt comfortable with it.

Not long after that, I felt like there was something cold in my hand and that was when I realized that D.O was holding my hand again. But why his hand not warm as before? Not like the weather either. I looked up at him with a frown, wanting to ask him about it but as I saw the soft reassuring smile on his face, I halted my curiosity.

“Let’s go?” With his soft voice, he asked me quietly, not as bright as before. Once again I frowned but ended up sighing softly as he shook his head. In the end, I just nodded, agreeing with him.

“Okay!”

As we in the market, I did everything to keep him warm. Watching my antics, he just chuckled softly while picking up the things that he need for his cooking. It didn’t take a long time either to pick his things. He was indeed a professional. He always knew what he need and what he doesn’t need. After 30 minutes following him around the market, he finally turned to me and told me that he had to go to pay for the ingredients. I smiled in relief as I felt too tired to walk around the market again.

In the way back home, again, we didn’t talk too much. The silence that lingered between us really made me awkward. Luckily, the trip back just took 20 minutes so I won’t stay awkward for too long. As we got inside my apartment, he went straight to the kitchen and prepared for the ingredients. I walked to the living room and placed my bag on the couch before approaching him.

“Don’t you want to take a rest for awhile?”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t need to take a rest since this is the way I’m taking my rest. Be in the kitchen doesn’t make me tired at all.” While he said that, I focused on his face. From his smile, I knew he loves to cook so much. The kitchen was like his home; his everything. He got his happiness every time he holds his utensils. I knew that I just know him not too long but I could feel him already. His passion towards his job was so pure. Watching at how happy he was, I decided to just sit and watched him.

Every move he did, I’d placed it in my mind. Like how he cleaned the chickens, vegetables and else and how he stirs the mixed ingredients on the pan. I’d saved it all in my memories. Not to forget, his happy face when he succeed in cooking the dishes. In awhile, I realized that he had done all the lunch meals.

“You’re really fast, eh?”

“Now you know me.” I chuckled softly as he winked at me playfully before he goes to clean the utensils and plates in the sink. I pouted, taking my phone with me as I walked to the dishes.

“Can you wash that later? Let’s eat fist.”

“Okay, then. But how about we take a picture first?” He washed his hands and turned to me with a grin. I couldn’t resist it so I just grinned back at him.

“Should we?”

“Yes!” We laughed a little before taking our position around the table to find the perfect angle. I hugged his cold body awkwardly and he took my phone to take the picture. As he gave back my phone, I stared at him deeply.

“Mind to tell me why you’re so cold?” I asked, making he stunned for awhile before looking away at the dishes.

“Let’s eat now, shall we? The foods are getting cold.”

“Yeah, cold. That’s what I’m talking about.” Rolling my eyes, I watched him beaming happily on his seat. I shook my head a little before taking the seat opposite him. Placing a piece of meat on my plate, he flashed a warm smile for me and talked softly, “Taste it and tell me how it is.”

Without any hesitation, I took the meat and tasted it. Once the taste melted in my mouth, I was brought to the cloud nine. How can this cute boy be too good in cooking? Even girls can’t beat him.

“Oh my god, D.O! It’s taste so good! So delicious…”

“That’s great to hear. Eat first, okay? I’ll go to the toilet for awhile.” I nodded in agreement and continued to eat, not even caring about him. After I had finished half of the meals, which was when I realized that I shouldn’t let D.O go yet. Panic, I quickly got up from my seat and roamed around my apartment to find him but I ended up disappointed.

“He’s gone…”

As usual, I went out to my building’s lobby just to check if I got a letter from my brothers or not. Or any letter from important company or else? When I opened the mailbox, I saw several letters, like bills or something like that, and one of them was from the university that I’d always wish to get a change to study there. With a deep breath that I took, I opened the envelope slowly. I read it calmly and my eyes slowly grew wider the moment I saw the word ‘PASSED’.

“Yes! I did it!!”

As I jumped around happily at the lobby, my phone suddenly rang, halting my happy moment. Without looking at the ID, I answered the call with a happy tone.

“Why are you so happy in this bright morning, hmm?” Listening to the familiar voice, I frowned deeply. How could he get my phone number? I didn’t even give it to him yet. Once again I said this guy was really mysterious. Uncomfortable with my long silence, I heard him cleared his throat a little.

“Oh, sorry. Just happy on a good news. Now, where do you get my phone number, mister?”

“It’s a secret.” With a soft chuckle, he answered me. He really didn’t want to talk about his mysterious personality, isn’t it? He did many weird and unexpected things nowadays.

“Okay, fine. Why do you call me, by the way?” I asked, raising my brows.

“Just want to ask you out for a hang out. I’m at the park nearby your apartment. I’ll wait for you under the big tree on the small hill. Bye!” I couldn’t even say anything, he already hung his phone. How I want to choke him right now. Without wasting any time, I quickly took the lift to my level and ran into my house, getting ready for the hang out.

It’s not a date or what but my make over looks like I’m going out for a date. In the end, I softened my make-up a little and just tied my hair into a messy bun. Grabbing my bag, I was ready to go out to meet D.O. Like always, it just took a few minutes to get there but I’m so excited to meet him so I arrived a little early from the exact time. From 30 minutes, I just took 20 minutes to get there. Well, 10 minutes are still precious in my life after all.

As I climbed the small hill, I saw D.O sitting under the big tree while closing his eyes so I decided to scare him for a bit. I started to walk closer to him slowly, hands ready to pat his shoulders. When I was already beside him, I could saw that his face was pale and his breath sounded calm like usual. I’d and urged to hug him but I couldn’t so in the end, I just called for him softly.

“D.O?” Hearing his name was being called, he opened his eyes and stared at me with his weak yet bright smile. I couldn’t help myself to stop felt bad about him. I knew there was something wrong with him yet he still wanted to go out and have fun. If I asked him to just stay at home, he definitely will refuse it.

“What’s wrong with you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Definitely fine! So, don’t you want to sit and tell me the good news you got this morning?” there he went again, changing the topic when every time I asked about his health. How can I approach his stubborn side if he always acts like this? It made me irritated sometimes. With a soft sigh slipped out between my lips, I put aside my bag and sat beside him.

Well, I always want to go to study at the university that I always want to go. This morning, I got a letter from their office, saying that I passed! I got to study there!” I said happily while beaming brightly, making he smiled widely as well. At least I could make him always smile brightly like that.

“That’s very good news! Congratulation, Kim Jimin! You should work harder after this so you could be the best student in that university.”

“Of course I will!” I laughed softly and leaned to hold his hand. Reacting to the skin ship, he quickly pulled his hand and looked away. I stared at him, my smile slowly faded away and changed into a deep frown. His body was so cold, colder than before. I couldn’t let this slide away again this time.

“Tell me the truth, what’s wrong with you actually? You look pale, your body was cold and you’re acting weird too! Tell me.” I got impatient with everything. I knew he will refuse to tell it and changed the topic again but I could tries to provoke him, right? But I think I’d provoke him too much now. I could see it when he got up from the ground and walked away a little bit, ruffling his hair in frustrated.

“Can you stop asking me about that? Is there nothing you can ask other than that? Its make me bored! Please, stop it.”

I won’t lose, I couldn’t lose.

“Is it wrong for me to worry about you? These anxieties are because I care about you!” I got up and approached him, “You couldn’t do this to me, D.O. If there’s something wrong then tell me. You can’t just ignore me like I was nothing to you!”

When he turned to me and stared at me with his sharp glare, I knew I’d got him pass the line. I stepped back, swallowing the lump on my throat as he growled under his breath.

“I said stop it, didn’t I? Look, how about you go back home and prepared for your study? You finally got the chance to study and make friends there so focus on it. Don’t worry about me anymore, I don’t need it. Just think about your future.”

Without saying any goodbye, he left me just like that. I was dumbfounded. Well, it was my fault after all, I admitted it. I didn’t have any right to feel bad or sad since I was the one who chose to provoke him till he passed his limit.

With a heavy step, I walked back to my apartment. If before I took 20 minutes to arrive at the park from my apartment, now it took me 45 minutes of walking back to my apartment. The sky was cloudy but I was lucky enough that I could get into my apartment before the sky poured down its tears. Did the sky know about my feelings?

I walked to my bedroom and sat on the bed as I looked out the window. I don’t even know why but the weather made me miss D.O’s bright smile. I always thought that his smile shine like the sun. Somehow I felt like I’d took away his smile till it can’t shine my world anymore like how the sun can’t shine for the world in the rainy days.

Missing his smile, I’d a desire to look at his picture so I took out my phone and searched it through my gallery’s file. As I opened the picture, my phone slipped off my hand and it took 1-2 minutes for me to gain my consciousness. I was shocked and I didn’t even know how this can happen. I took back my phone and stared at the picture once again.

He faded away from the picture—mostly like half faded. It was like he will go away from me soon; he will disappear soon. If it did happen then I thought maybe his picture will fade away completely. But how can it happen? It’s not logic at all.

Like some viruses in my head, it kept spreading in my head. I can’t even get rid of it from my mind. What I just do for this past few days are just thinking about him. Being a new student at my university, I should have focus on my study but I couldn’t. I even failed to give my professors a good impression in my first week at my classes. I just couldn’t focus and concentrate on them—how can I be when my mind and soul are miserable because of him?

Standing at the corridor in front of my class which located on the 3^rd level of the building, I tried to release my tension by taking a deep of fresh air. My professors of all my classes are kind to me. They cared to the new students and it was including me. They’d come to me and asked me if I’d any problems but I decided to keep it just by myself. I knew it will affect my study but I just couldn’t tell it to anyone. Luckily, they did know that I need some privacy on it.

 

 

As I was deep in my thought, I heard a very beautiful melody from a harmonica. I didn’t know where it came from or who was playing it. What I knew is just that the harmony was so peaceful. It made me feel calm and free from my problems for awhile. Before I realized, I started to follow the melody. It leaded me to the ground floor and to the small park between the classes’ buildings.

Once I got at the middle of the park, I saw the person who played the harmonica was someone that very familiar to me. As he stopped playing the harmonica, I knew he could sense my presence there. He turned to me and flashed his warm smile. There he went again, being warm as the D.O that I knew after the cold one. I approached him slowly and greeted him. He just could get up from the bench and greeted me back.

“Oh, Jimin. You’re here. How’s your study?” he asked. How could he asked me casually like that when he was the one who made me couldn’t concentrate on my study? I really wanted to slap him on his face but I had to hold it. I reached up my hand to his face and touched his face instead. Cold like before. Didn’t want to see the mean and cold D.O ever again, I held my curiosity and smiled softly.

“Just….great.” I lied, “What are you doing here, by the way?”

“I work here. I’m one of the lecturers in Culinary Arts course.” He informed me with his wide, proud smile ever and yet, I was standing there with my jaw dropped to the ground. I didn’t even know that he was that awesome. How old is he again? I’d never ask him about it.

“W-Wow…You’re….You’re awesome.” I said as I blinked my eyes, looking down at my feet. I didn’t know what to say and what to think anymore. Why did he hide it from me? Once again he treated me like I was nothing.

“Well, I don’t want to tell you about it because I want to be your one good friend. I want you to be comfortable around me because I like to stay by your side. Tell me, would you be comfortable to stay with me if you know that I’m some sort of lecturer here in your dream university?”

Like he could read my mind, he explained to me. His explanation was enough to show me that I was wrong. I froze; nothing could get out from my mouth anymore since he was right. I felt a little awkward with him after he told me about his profession.

 

 

Before I could continue our conversation, I felt the earth underneath us was shaking and people started to run out from their classes. It was so chaos. I looked around and saw that the buildings started to crack as well. This definitely was an earthquake.

“Let’s go! We need to go as—D.O?” As I said in panic, I turned to him and saw him looked around while smiling softly. I really didn’t know what is in his mind but he really was insane right now.

“My time is over, Jimin. I need to go.”

“What do you mean by that? You won’t leave me alone right?” I asked, tried to hold him by his arm but consequently, my hands passed through his body.

“Wh-why…But why?!”

“Like I said, I like to be by your side. But I knew I couldn’t hold you and stay by your side for a long time. If I could, I really want to stay with you forever but I’d to accept the fact that I can’t. Forget about me, Jimin. Erase me from your memories; remove me from your mind. I hope you could find many friends from now on. Please, for me, try to be more confident in yourself and be more social with people around you.”

Like it was the last farewell, he gave me his most bright smile that he ever had. He reached his hand to me and placed it near my cheek. I knew his body will pass through mine but the moment he placed his hand there, I could felt his cold presence.

“N-No…Y-You can’t go…I-I don’t wa-want this. Please don’t go…please! Don’t do this to me!” I started to get more panic when I saw his body slowly turned into dust and faded away. I didn’t know what to do anymore except than crying over the fact that he will be gone forever.

“Goodbye. I love you, Kim Jimin.”

Even he completely turned into dust and slowly faded away into the air, I still could hear his whisper to me like he was just lingering around me. That’s made me believe that wherever I go from now on, he will stay by my side even I couldn’t see him.

The earthquake from before became more worst and the buildings around me started to collapse. I was really panic when I realized that the building besides me almost collapsing onto my small body. Before I could save myself, I saw the building started to fall forward. I couldn’t do anything so I just dropped my body down to the ground and secured my head with my arms while closing my eyes.

After a few minutes of waiting for the pain, I finally realized that there was nothing fall onto me so I opened my eyes slowly only to see myself lying on my bed in my room. I sighed softly and messed my hair before sitting up on the bed and looked out the window.

“It’s over, right? I don’t have to wait anymore…right?” I mumbled to myself, knowing that nobody was by my side anymore. I could felt the loneliness struck me once again and I really hate it. Slowly, I turned to look at my mirror and saw my black eyes turned into an emerald color. In the split seconds, the mirror broke into pieces. I just could chuckle bitterly and turned to look out the window once again. That was enough for me; enough to show me that why people scared of me. Hurting because of my own weakness, I let my tears rolled down on my cheeks.

“That’s mean I can’t go back home yet, right, Suho Oppa?”

 

---

 

[Author's Note]

So, that's it! Finally finished after 2-3 weeks of re-writing. And there's something I want to clear up here. Jimin's brother is Suho so that's mean there's D.O as his friend, right? So no, D.O in Jimin's dream is not the same with D.O as Do Kyungsoo. Who's D.O in her dream then? That thing....let just wait if I want to make a sequel for that or not. Haha. 

Okay, the 2nd thing is, this story did have a prequel which called Illa Illa; The Flowers of Your Eyes. I'm going to re-write that prequel as well. That's mean you guys have to wait a little more longer for the sequel.